DS
Disclaimer: Would you believe it? I don't own Death Note!
Chibi Misa: -le gasp- You don't?
Me: Uh, no. Not really.
Chibi Raito: She's only been saying that for the past eight chapters.
Me: Eight chapters! Can you believe it? Huzzah!
Chibi L: That's not entirely impressive, you know.
Me: Shut up!
Chibi L: -munches cookies-
Chibi Raito: Gay…
Chibi L: So what if I am? I'm more man than you'll ever be.
Me: I think we know who the seme is…
Chibi Raito: Injustice! I am so prettier than he is! I'll fight for it if I have to.
Me: Exactly.
Chibi Raito: You can't do that to me.
Me: I'm the author. I can do whatever I want.
Chibi Misa: Ho-kay! Welcome to another DS chapter, serving up the DOOM just the way you like it!
Chibi L: Doom? Is that like mousse? It sounds good.
Chibi Misa: Read, review, and relax!
D S 8
As much as Raito didn't want to believe it, the evidence was irrefutable.
The morning after his play-sleeping escapade, he gladly pointed a finger at Ryuzaki and laughed. The psychopomp, as if accepting his fault, stood by with his snooty nose in the air and weathered the storm. When Raito was tired of rubbing it in his face, the gravity of Ryuzaki's confession began to set in. As soon as the thought occurred to him, he immediately turned to the mini-death and said that it was all a joke… right?
He just wanted Raito to go back to sleep… right?
Much to his unease, Ryuzaki sleepily stared him straight in the face and sighed.
Raito felt himself becoming a little uncomfortable. He asked Ryuzaki whether or not he could see through walls.
…or through clothes.
The mini-death shook his head.
Raito heaved a grateful sigh.
He started to sleep with more than a pair of boxers on. He even resorted to wearing jeans and a T-shirt to bed on some occasions. Raito forbid Ryuzaki to be anywhere in the room with him when he was getting dressed. He forced Ryuzaki out of the bathroom altogether.
Ryuzaki told him he was being unreasonable, but Raito didn't care. He was just being cautious.
To top things off, the entrance exams were starting and Ryuzaki had been drifting behind him more often than usual. Or… maybe Raito was just paying more attention than usual. Either way, Raito felt a pang of discomfort whenever he didn't have a clear view of the psychopomp.
"Ryuzaki!" Raito hissed under his breath, "Get back over here!"
Ryuzaki had wandered out of sight again. Raito wanted to see what he was doing at all times. The psychopomp stalked back over to the empty desk in front of him and perched unhappily on the top of the chair. "Honestly, Raito-kun," he deadpanned, "what is all this nonsense about?"
"Stay where I can see you," commanded Raito. Ryuzaki crouched on the chair, crossed his arms, frowned, and asked, "Why?"
"I don't want you trying anything."
Ryuzaki melted despairingly into the chair. "Raito-kun," he implored once he reappeared, "be reasonable!"
"I am," he grumbled.
Ryuzaki threw his arms skyward and said, "Tell me, Raito-kun, what about this is reasonable?"
Raito contemplated saying something smart, but a sudden, dreadful penumbra had fallen over his desk. "Number ninety-two," a familiar voice rumbled, "Who are you talking to?"
Raito looked up into dark eyes, absent of glasses, and remembered. He cast one glance at the floundering Ryuzaki, one at the man yelling orders at the front of the room, and one back at the man who addressed him. 'Mikami?' he mouthed disbelievingly.
He heard rather than saw Ryuzaki's eyes rolling in his skull and his body traveling in a likewise motion off of the chair.
Teru nodded. "We've got quite a few people today," he remarked in a whisper. Raito ventured an eyeful of the room. There were very few empty desks. Five in the entire room if Ryuzaki was to be counted as an occupant. Actually, Ryuzaki was more hanging off of his chair than sitting in it.
"Please make this quick," the mini-death grouched, "You don't want to fail, do you?"
Raito sighed. Ryuzaki really was jealous, wasn't he?
"Why are you here?" Raito whispered hurriedly.
"Examiner," said Teru quietly. He bent down to Raito's level and whispered, "Since you told me you'd be here, I couldn't resist."
Ryuzaki popped back up in his chair and shot laser-eye-beams straight into the side of the older man's head. Raito glanced warily at Ryuzaki. He'd been given two evils to choose from. One, he could continue his conversation with Mikami and be eaten alive by both Ryuzaki and the man at the front of the room. Two, he could give Mikami the cold shoulder, lose all the helpful friendship he'd gained thus far, and give Ryuzaki the idea that he actually cared.
Cornered…
Luckily, he never had to make either choice. Teru smiled disarmingly and announced, "I'd better move along. We're getting a few unwanted looks." He seemed on the verge of moving away when his eyes suddenly brightened. "By the way," he whispered, "Twenty four is a trick question."
Raito grinned secretively. 'Thanks,' he mouthed before turning his attention back to the front of the room. When his Mikami-dar stopped beeping, Raito let out a heavy, troubled sigh. He hated admitting it, but Teru's sudden visit made his stomach do flips. They weren't particularly desirable flips either.
He felt like he was doing something stupid and wrong.
Raito never did anything stupid, let alone wrong.
"He's too old for you," a bland voice deadpanned from the floor in the space in front of him. Raito set his head on his desk and snarled, "And how old are you, exactly?"
The mini-death popped up excitedly and said, "Are you suggesting that-"
Raito caught his mistake and hissed "No!" as loud as he could without drawing unneeded attention. If Ryuzaki thought he was alluding to the possibility of Raito finding him attractive, he was dead wrong.
Ryuzaki blinked flatly several times before chewing on his thumb and re-seating himself underneath the chair.
Glad for the temporary peace, Raito pushed himself off of the desk and leaned back in his seat. Judging from the clock on the wall and the men coming down each isle, the test was about to start.
----
Raito was a bastard.
There was no doubt about it.
All of the sudden, he was acting even more cold and lame than usual. The minute L figured out he wasn't asleep, he knew he was in for a long, aggravating ride. Raito was not the type of man to accept new things right off the bat. L calmed himself down the day after the incident, saying that it would only take Raito a while before he shrugged the shock off.
Bad mistake.
Raito was as flighty and irritated as a canary in a cage. He was easily spooked and foolishly suspicious. He was every bit as accusing as he'd ever been and more.
Throughout the test, Ryuzaki sat on the floor and moped. He glanced up from time to time, wondering how Raito was doing. As soon as the brunette caught a glimpse of movement, though, his eyes shot forward and glared L down with enough force to make a hyena cry.
L had no desire to make Raito more skittish about him, but he had the sudden urge to venture into the brunette's blind spot and peer out the windows. He glanced solemnly up at the ceiling and pondered his options before getting up and walking off. Raito's pencil stopped scratching and L became painfully aware of amber eyes stalking him away. Mistrustful as ever, Raito was.
L didn't let the mortal's disdain strike him as he padded carefully over to the window. He peered out of the glass, scouting for anything abnormal.
And frankly, the abnormal was becoming more and more the opposite.
There in a tree, a familiar sight, perched Ryuk. The shinigami waved lazily at L as if he'd been expected. The mini-death quirked an eyebrow. He looked back at the spot where Raito (easy to spot by his hair-color) was scratching tensely away at his sheet of paper and decided that he was in no immediate danger.
Mind made up, L morphed through the window and made his way over to the shinigami. Ryuk slapped one knee and laughed his peculiar, hollow laugh, "I knew you couldn't resist a chance to talk with me!"
L crossed his arms impersonally and replied, "You've become much more interesting to talk to now that Raito avoids me like the plague."
"Flattered," belched the shinigami.
L continued to pose in indifferent defiance, lest the shinigami get the idea that L was offering him his hand in friendship. Truth be told, L hated the shinigami's guts. He had no practical reason to, seeing how Ryuk hadn't done anything to harm Raito thus far. However, his hinting toward the not-so-accidental death of Mello and his very possession of a Death Note made L's stomach churn.
"So what's with you two anyway?" the shinigami pried, "You're not as talkative as you used to be."
"An unfortunate sleep-talking incident," L replied tersely.
"Oh," said Ryuk stupidly, "That's too bad."
Out of his sincere dislike of small-talk and his unjustified hatred for shinigami, L suddenly came up with a strange question. He'd heard somewhere that shinigami could only stay in the human world as long as they were not in possession of a Death Note. Ryuk had one. He stated when they first met that he only came down for a visit, but it was now clear to L that something entirely different was going on.
"A shinigami cannot remain in the human world so long as he retains control of a Death Note, correct?" L snapped.
Ryuk seemed to take no note of his temper and said, "Yep. Sounds about right."
"Then what's that?" L asked slyly, indicating the notebook in Ryuk's pocket.
The shinigami twisted around and eyed it peculiarly. After half a minute's scrutiny, he sat up straight again and said, "It's a Death Note."
Brilliant.
"Don't tell me you've been coming down here for constant visits," scoffed L. "Don't you shinigami have a rule against that?"
Ryuk's breathy laughter echoed in the tree branches. "Y' see," he began, "I couldn't stay here if that Death Note was mine…"
L had a sudden flashback involving the strange, moth-like shinigami that had been following Ryuk around recently. When it said that it couldn't find its notebook, the black shinigami had laughed in much the same way.
L nodded to himself. "It's Sidoh's, isn't it?"
Ryuk twisted his body around and said, "You're good."
"I am," stated L coolly. "Now why do you have his notebook?"
The shinigami considered the question with a bony finger to his chin. "Well, if we shinigami don't write enough names down in our notebooks, we die."
L's eye twitched. What a way to give away information. He got the feeling that this wasn't the only reason, though. If he could get more shinigami into the human realm, he could rally them to his cause. Perhaps Ryuk was stealing notebooks as a means of backup.
Check that.
Ryuk wasn't that smart. L was overestimating him.
L puzzled over his findings for a bit. If the notebook in his possession was Sidoh's… "Who has your notebook?" he inquired.
The shinigami tilted his head as if not expecting the question. A strange, unwelcome look came over his jester-like face and he crawled over to L's side of the tree branch. "I don't have to tell you," he breathed.
L frowned. Ryuk was being secretive. Either there was another shinigami beside Sidoh and himself or…
No.
There was absolutely no way. Well, technically, yes, there was a way, but L shoved it out of his consciousness and repeated that there was absolutely no way something like this could come about. Try as he might, though, the thought kept popping up. Either the shinigami lost his notebook to another one or…
…he'd given it to a human.
In which case, somewhere in Tokyo, there was an Anti-Kira.
L stared into the smiling fish-eyes of Ryuk. His own eyes widened and his hair stood on end. The shinigami laughed darkly at his surprise.
"You bastard," remarked L.
"Wasn't really my choice," reminisced Ryuk with a finger on his chin, "Well, maybe it was. I dunno'. I guess when I heard Rem was gonna' do it…"
"Wait," barked L, "There are two of you?"
"Uh, yeah," admitted Ryuk dumbly, "besides Sidoh, anyway."
L's mind was over-processing the information. There was an Anti-Kira. No, if Ryuk's information was to be interpreted as such, there were or would be two Anti-Kiras. If he gave Sidoh's notebook to another person, there would be three Anti-Kiras.
Ho-lee-shit.
Raito didn't stand a chance.
"Oh God," said L, enthusiasm so spent on his thoughts that his voice came off as bland. Ryuk, still laughing that annoying laugh, chuckled, "You don't need to worry about me an' my human. We're just keeping an eye out in case things get crazy."
L's fists twitched along with his voice, "Are you saying that if Raito kills too many people, you'll kill him?"
"Don't look at me, man," Ryuk pacified with his hands in the air, "I'm not gonna' be killing anyone. I don't even think my human knows who your 'Kira' is yet." He added with a sly squint, "Rem isn't too fond of Kiras, though. I might watch out for her."
L raised an eyebrow, slightly calmed by Ryuk's statement of innocence. Ryuk had been in the human world for quite a while. He hadn't made a move to hurt Raito yet. So far, he'd just sat on the sidelines and offered commentary where it wasn't needed.
Mostly harmless.
L didn't feel like trusting Ryuk, but it was all he could do at this point.
"So, in case this 'Rem' of yours comes around, what does she look like?" he asked with a thumb in his mouth.
"Mmm…" mulled Ryuk, "White, kinda' spongy-looking. I think she looks like a fish. No, wait… Octopus hair and angler-fish eyes. She's got a lipstick thing goin' on, too."
L blinked slowly and firmly to accentuate the extent to which he cared.
"She looks kinda' like me, but a… girl. And white."
"Same basic body type," L clarified.
"Yeah," huffed Ryuk, "Something like that."
"Hmm…" hummed L. He'd have to inform Raito of this… And step up his security. No sleeping on the job. He felt a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach.
Three Anti-Kiras.
Two now, one potential.
The future was looking grim, but L wasn't going to give up. Without any further conversation between Ryuk and himself, L vaulted off of the tree branch and through the window.
He slunk back to the space between the front of Raito's desk and the back of the next one. Once he'd wandered into Raito's peripheral vision, the brunette's golden eyes were locked onto him. L tried his best to shrug his gaze off.
"Where were you?" Raito hissed once L had found a suitable spot under the chair. "Outside," the mini-death offered blandly. Before Raito had a chance to object, L poked his head onto the desk and said, "I have something to tell you. Don't interrupt, because I'm not repeating myself."
Liar.
L was definitely going to repeat himself.
Raito gave him a condescending look that said, 'Do go on.'
L sighed deeply. This was going to do nothing for Raito's mood…
----
"Raito-kun," the mini-death began, then his breath hitched and he sighed. Raito's eye twitched. This wasn't a confession of undying love, was it?
"You were… right."
Right? Of course he was right!
…About what?
Ryuzaki sighed again, shuffling about on the floor. He rose onto the chair in front of Raito and curled his legs into his chest. A strange, reluctant, half frightened, half annoyed look came over his face.
Ryuzaki took a deep breath, then exhaled, "There's an Anti-Kira."
Anti-Kira? The idea slowly began to imprint itself in Kira's head. There was… an… Oh no. Raito felt like shooting out of his chair, abandoning his half-done test, and screaming. An Anti-Kira? Where? When? How? No. This wasn't happening. Ryuzaki was just pulling his leg.
Wasn't he?
Raito buried his head in his fists and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes.
Yes.
Ryuzaki was kidding. There wasn't an Anti-Kira. Things didn't happen that way. It wasn't the way things went. There was nothing to worry about.
Something that bad couldn't possibly happen.
Ryuzaki gave him a look so long and flat that it gave Raito the impression the mini-death knew exactly what he was thinking. "You're in denial," he remarked witlessly. Raito shrugged slightly, signaling that he didn't know exactly how or what to think and that the brunt of his ordeal had yet to hit.
Puffing another dreary gust of air, L babbled to fill the silence, "I believe the rumor to be true, but don't let this interfere with your test, Raito-kun. I heard it from a shinigami, so the information might not be credible."
Raito's fists began to unfold and his rigid posture softened into a slump. Of course the information wasn't credible. When he suggested the existence of an Anti-Kira, he was just joking around.
Something that bad couldn't possibly happen, Raito's mind repeated for the second time.
It couldn't happen.
No way.
He went through the rest of his test on autopilot. Most of the questions were easy enough. If what Ryuzaki said was true… which it wasn't… then Raito was in grave danger. Someone out there had the power to kill him any time, any place. Trying to cool his mind down, he reasoned that an Anti-Kira was just like a shinigami.
…But with more brains.
The increase in intellect was intimidating. An Anti-Kira was a shinigami with the strength of thought to see mistakes in the past, process the present, and make plans for the future. An Anti-Kira was able to connect events, actions, and consequences. An Anti-Kira could interpret the thoughts of another human being.
He could connect every minute mistake that Kira had ever made and trace the dots back to Raito.
Raito would be found out.
And he'd be killed.
It wasn't until that sudden, grim thought that he'd realized he'd stopped writing. Startled, he glanced up at the clock on the wall to see how much time he'd wasted. He closed his eyes tiredly, rested half of his face in his hands, and breathed a shaky sigh through his nose.
Still half an hour…
And he had four spaces left to fill.
More cautious about spacing out than before, Raito twirled his pencil in one hand and continued marking up his paper.
Half an hour later, the student mob suddenly started an uproar. Raito blinked blearily through misty eyes and realized that, once he'd finished his test, he'd taken a nap.
The stress must've been getting to him…
Anti-Kiras, shinigami, heart attacks, gay mini-deaths…
Speaking of whom, where was Ryuzaki? Raito warily peered over the front of his desk. Ryuzaki wasn't there.
Unnerved, he cast the room a searching glance. Ryuzaki not being in his usual spot was trouble in two ways. Firstly, he could have been lying about not being able to see through Raito's clothes. God knew what he was doing.
Secondly, the shinigami and Anti-Kiras could rack his body with ailments while his faithful mini-death wasn't there.
Shit.
Raito pushed on the back of his chair with one palm and raised himself up above the rambling crowd. He surveyed the room again, this time from a higher vantage point, and saw Ryuzaki nowhere. He shrank back down into his seat and cast watchful glares at anyone who moved.
Not Ryuzaki.
Not Ryuzaki.
Definitely not Ryuzaki…
Against his personal code of conduct, Raito began to fidget. He took the dull number two pencil off of his desk and pressed it between the thumbs and forefingers of each hand. His toes did a little dance inside of his shoes and his amber eyes rocketed this way and that.
Where was he?
What a time to disappear!
'Oh, by the way, Raito-kun, there's a monster out for your blood. G'bye now.'
For the love of God! Where the fuck was he? Raito had to hand it to Ryuzaki, he definitely knew the wrong time to disappear!
"Raito-kun."
Raito snapped his head to the left. Ryuzaki? Was it Ryuzaki? Not entirely disappointed, his searching eyes met those of a sympathetically smiling Teru Mikami. Raito's shoulders shrugged earthward and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Teru laughed, "You look like you're next in line for the electric chair."
Not quite, but close enough.
Responding to Raito's lack of kickback, Tall, Dark and Geeky frowned with concern. "Something wrong?" he asked. Raito shook his head. "Don't think I did as well on that test as I should have," he lied.
Teru grinned helpfully and offered, "I doubt you have anything to worry about." Raito looked up at him and snorted, "Oh really? How so?"
"One look at you and they'll be dying to let you in."
Sweet talker.
"I'm flattered," Raito remarked with dry sarcasm.
"Is he at it again?"
Raito's eyes flew to the right to a vision more welcome than usual. There he was, faithful old Ryuzaki, dangling from the ceiling, looking more peeved than a stampede of rhinoceros. Raito wondered just how long he'd been hanging around, pun intended.
Relieved somewhat, Raito quickly returned his gaze to Teru, who had been talking to him for quite some time. He nodded and pretended he'd been listening.
After another exchange of pointless small-talk, Teru collected Raito's test and went on his way. Once the older man was out of earshot, Raito's head snapped back over to Ryuzaki.
"Where the hell were you?" he shrilled into his sleeve.
Ryuzaki tilted his head and blinked peculiarly at him. "They were serving brownies downstairs and I thought I might grab one." When Raito's intense glare only deepened, Ryuzaki sagged toward the floor and growled, "What a bore you are. It was a joke, Raito-kun. I was here the entire time."
The brunette was dumfounded and vexed by Ryuzaki's answer. His suspicions of the psychopomp were kindled yet again. "If you were there the whole time, how come you didn't let me know?"
Ryuzaki blinked that uncomprehending blink of his and tilted his head in the other direction. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but I assumed by your attitude that you didn't wish to speak to me, Raito-kun."
"God, Ryuzaki," Raito hissed, "Did you not see me looking for you?"
Ryuzaki crossed his arms, still crouching upside-down on the ceiling. "You were looking for me?"
Honestly! Ryuzaki made absolutely no sense sometimes. Raito shook his fists and growled, "Who else would I be looking for?"
"Him," the mini-death gestured apathetically in the direction of Tall, Dark, and Geeky. Raito rolled his eyes. "You make no sense," he reprimanded.
Ryuzaki only gave him a peculiar look that said 'who makes no sense?'
Not a moment too soon, the crowd was dismissed. Relieved participants in To Oh's entry exams cascaded out the doors and down the hall in a restless river. Raito stood and stretched his back as he waited for the storm to pass.
Ryuzaki dropped from the ceiling, performing a cat-like barrel-roll in midair such that he landed on all fours in the middle of the table with no noise whatsoever. Raito quirked an eyebrow at him as he brushed his old, faded, loose jeans off and flounced effortlessly onto the floor.
Not paying any particular attention to Raito, Ryuzaki plodded straight past with his glazed charcoal eyes fixed on some nameless, distant place. Ryuzaki had always been kind of… distant. Not all there.
Maybe he was senile.
Raito had no idea.
As he was headed out the door, his shoulder was caught. Fearing an unprovoked shinigami attack, Raito spun around with a hand in the air.
"Yagami-kun," coughed a porky examiner, "Would you… come this way please?"
Suspicious though he was, Raito consented and allowed the man to lead him through another, less crowded hallway. Ryuzaki padded along two paces behind. The brunette cast him a questioning look, but the mini-death only shrugged his shoulders and kept walking.
"Yagami-kun," the man addressed once he'd deemed it safe to stop, "your father is waiting for you outside. He said he had something to talk to you about."
"Oookaaayyy…" Raito drew out in rhetorical confusion. What would his father have to talk to him about? Maybe Raito slipped up and the police force noticed something…
Bad.
Very bad.
Whatever his dad had to tell him, Raito had a gut feeling that it was definitely, truly, and completely bad.
Raito was shown out the door and sure enough, there was his father, face wrinkled in anxiety. He stopped pacing once he realized that the door had been opened. Raito thought that seeing his son's face would brighten Soichiro's eyes and put a bounce in his step.
If anything, Raito's disarming smile served to make him more agitated.
Ryuzaki hummed mistrustfully behind him.
"Son," Soichiro started, his hand halfway to a pat on the shoulder. Suddenly, the hand dropped.
Hmmkay. He was definitely bothered about something. "Uh, Dad?" called Raito hopefully. Soichiro sighed tiredly and his hand fell to his side.
Raito's glittering smile lost its luster. He was starting to worry now. What if… What if they found out who Kira was? Was that what had dad bummed out? Or was the Anti-Kira making moves by killing Kira's family first?
Oh, fuck.
"Shit, Dad," Raito swallowed, "Was it Mom or Sayu?"
Soichiro looked startled. Realization hit and his eyes focused again in no time, though. "You think someone died?" he asked, not sounding like he expected an answer, "Thank heavens, no."
"Well then…" Raito prodded, "What is it?"
Soichiro sat there for a long time, just staring in contemplation. Raito cast a sidelong glance at Ryuzaki, who was every bit as confused as he was. "Your father seems on edge about something," he remarked obviously.
Raito growled in exasperation, "Dad, just tell me what's wrong!"
"Just," Soichiro paused and exhaled through his nose, "Just get in the car, Raito."
"Not 'till I know what I'm getting in the car for, Dad."
His father stopped fidgeting and cast him a leery, squinting glare, "You should already know that."
Oh shit.
Ooooh shit, oh shit, oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit ohshitohshitohshit.
They found him. The fucking police force found him. They knew he was Kira. His dad was going to take him to some weird interrogation center. He was going to die.
He was going to die.
And he hadn't gotten a good chance to fool around with A and W yet, either!
Much to Raito's shock and, strangely, delight, Soichiro said, "Have you been talking to someone?"
Not entirely sure what he meant, Raito asked about his choice of phrasing. "Listen, son," Soichiro began in a voice wet with fatigue, "The police force among other interested parties-" Aiber and Wedy- "have instructed your teachers and these examiners to pay extra close attention to you."
Oh boy.
"They've noticed that, at times, you appear to talk to yourself." Raito tried to interrupt him, but Soichiro wouldn't have it. "They've noticed," he temporarily raised his voice for emphasis, "that you tend to turn around in your seat and follow nonexistent figures very keenly with your eyes."
"Dad," Raito sighed despairingly, but was cut off again.
"Why didn't you tell me you were still hallucinating?" Soichiro cried, "It's… it's because you didn't notice it, isn't it? Your mind's still so muddled from that fever that you can't tell whether the hallucinations are real or not!"
"Dad, I-"
"Is it still that spider-person that's bothering you? I'm sure we could pay for some therapy or medication or… or something to get rid of it!"
Raito blinked. His dad really felt strongly about this. The brunette quickly processed his options for dealing with his dad. He could deny that Ryuzaki existed, but it would make him seem hesitant to reveal information. The police could assume multiple things, some of which were far-fetched. The least far-fetched was that Raito disliked being referred to as crazy and it could make him a strong suspect in the Kira case. Ryuzaki could be a little voice in his head, telling him to kill people or something.
If he admitted that there was an imaginary person following him, the very knowledge of him being imaginary could put Raito in danger. He knew this thing wasn't real, and yet he talked to it anyway. He'd be a real nutcase then.
The best option would be to deny that Ryuzaki was fake, but to admit that he was there in the first place. It would make him sound crazy, but he had a reason. He could blame any psychotic thought he had on his fever.
Mind made up, Raito played along. "You mean," he stammered, "You can't see him?" He swept both arms dramatically toward the place where Ryuzaki was drawing circles in the pavement with his feet. Soichiro looked long and hard at the spot. Raito assumed this was because he didn't want to seem like he didn't care. "No," he admitted after a lengthy search, "I don't see anyone, Raito."
Raito's shoulders slumped in a fantastic imitation of disappointment. He cast an exaggerated, agitated double O at his fanciful friend. Ryuzaki blinked at him in puzzlement and wonder, then started when he got the hint. He awkwardly squished his fists together and held them close to his chest. "Yagami-san!" he lamented theatrically, "You wound me!"
Raito twirled back to his father. "Didn't you hear that?" he asked, astonished and ticked off.
"No," Soichiro sighed and shook his head.
"You… didn't?" asked a faux-crestfallen Raito.
His father cautiously walked over to him and offered him a pat on the shoulder. Raito shied away from it for good effect. This put Soichiro even more on edge and he bargained with his son. "Raito," he pleaded, "Just come into the car with me and we'll get this straightened out. We'll talk and I'll try to hear what your friend has to say."
Raito was well aware that he was acting every bit of six years old and it would be very unusual of him to continue as such. Aiming to maintain the fact that he was an adult, he shook his head and said, "We don't need to talk about anything." For emphasis, he added, "You're talking to me like I'm six, dad."
"Sorry," muttered his father, "I'm just worried."
Raito sighed, more bored than disappointed, and grumbled as he got in the car. Soichiro and the imaginary Ryuzaki followed after him. He left the door open longer than usual to give the illusion that he was letting someone else in. He'd be damned if he was going to let Ryuzaki crawl over his lap, though.
So he closed the door in his face.
Grumbling and groaning, Ryuzaki melted into the pavement and shot up into the seat next to him. "You know, Raito-kun, I was a fool for hoping you'd actually hold the door open for me this time," he groused. Raito nodded in agreement.
"So," his father started, clearly wanting to make his son feel comfortable, "Does this spider-person have a name?" Raito debated answering as the car rolled into the center of the street. He leered at Ryuzaki. To gratify him or not to gratify him? That was the question.
Well, Raito hadn't exactly been nice to him the entire day.
"Actually," he sighed, "He's more of a person than a spider."
Ryuzaki's eyes lit up. It made Raito feel a smidgeon better than he should have.
"Ah," his father hummed thoughtfully. He then turned back to his original question. "I don't want to refer to him as 'that person,' so does he have a name or not?"
"Ryuzaki," mumbled Raito.
His dad hummed again. "That's a nice name," he replied casually as if none of this was a shock to him. "Where's he from?"
Raito cast an uncertain look at Ryuzaki. There were two reasons why he called Ryuzaki 'Dave' when he was half asleep. He'd woken up near the end of one of his sleep-conversations in the past and realized this. Firstly, Dave was the name of the guy who shut down the HAL 9000 in Two Thousand and One, a Space Odyssey. It was one of the strangest foreign films he'd ever seen.
Secondly, David was also the name of a foreign exchange student whose host family just happened to be Raito's family. He was scouting out colleges in the area. Dave had been a full seven years Raito's senior, but the two of them never had a boring conversation.
Unlike Ryuzaki, who was perpetually boring.
Ryuzaki and Dave looked a lot alike, though, with the exception that Dave lacked the dark circles and actually possessed a good, thick, dark pair of eyebrows. He also had better posture.
Where was Dave from again?
"Somewhere near Cambridge," Raito offered.
"Does he look like Dave?"
Yep. Dad caught on pretty fast. "Uh, kind of," Raito replied. Soichiro laughed. The brunette crossed his arms and wondered what was so funny.
Noticing Raito's displeasure, his father chuckled, "You were so angry when he left. You stomped around the house and threw a temper-tantrum. Your mother and I were under the impression that you loved him."
----
Well this was new. L resembled someone Raito had met in the past? Someone he actually liked? Judging from Soichiro's ramblings, Raito much more than liked this 'Dave' character.
"I did not!" Raito huffed and thumped the car door with the back of his fist.
Soichiro continued his hearty old-man-chuckle. "Alright, alright," he humored, "You were young. Friendlier too. How come you haven't invited any friends over to the house recently?"
L watched in amusement as Raito squirmed slightly in his seat. "I don't make friends easily, Dad. Most people annoy me."
Soichiro nodded thoughtfully, then added, "But it's apparent that you like to make them up."
Oh, now that was too far. Raito's dad had been polite and understanding before now, but L doubted Kira would take his joking lightly. L didn't appreciate it either. "Asshole," he muttered.
"Ryuzaki just swore at you," deadpanned Raito.
"Ah, Sorry. I shouldn't have said that," apologized Soichiro while scratching his scalp.
"Damn right," growled L.
"Twice," Raito alerted his father.
L grinned lopsidedly at the mortal and said, "You do know that you are acting like a child now, don't you?" Raito cast him a dirty look.
Hmm… Raito definitely cycled through moods quickly. A minute ago, he was feeling mischievous. Thirty seconds ago, he was flustered. Now he was angry. Raito was one big roller-coaster of emotion.
L sighed. The day had been a roller-coaster. Entrance exams, Hallucinations, Anti-Kiras…
While L was on the subject, he worried. He had to find out who this Anti-Kira of Ryuk's was. He had to do a little background research. Wherever Ryuk showed up during the day, his human must've been close behind.
Upon close reflection, L concluded that Teru was a possible suspect. There were times, though, when Ryuk had shown up and Teru had been nowhere in sight. It was foolish for him to make conjectures so soon, but L wondered how much time it would take before something deadly took place.
First thing was first, though. The immediate evil in Kira's world was his father. L had to assist him in dealing with Soichiro's nosing about.
As much as L would have loved to help Raito out, he couldn't find anything useful to say or do. Soichiro filled the silence with apologies, treatment suggestions, and questions about Raito's 'imaginary friend.'
'Imaginary friend' and 'Raito' were two words that didn't belong in the same sentence at any given time. It made him sound like a toddler.
A toddler who could snap peoples' heads off with a flick of the finger.
A shocked look suddenly came over Raito's face and L's nerves tensed. "We're not headed home, are we?" asked the brunette. His father sighed regretfully and ran his fingers over the rims of his glasses. "No, Raito, we're going to a psychiatrist."
L blinked, aghast. He had Raito figured out before today, didn't he? Either that or he was paranoid enough to take his son to the earliest meeting as possible.
Kira's eyebrows jutted out in odd, perturbed angles and a wide, anguished frown decorated his lips. Wrinkles of frustration began to multiply between his eyes and L knew that he would lash out with his claws at any second. Taking the Almighty Kira to a shrink was the most insulting action to be performed. Yet, L knew that Raito would contain himself in the presence of someone who was paid to believe that somewhere, somehow, he was sane.
His father, however, couldn't be counted so lucky.
"You… Why did you do that?" Raito yelled with his arms looping in great arcs across the sky, "Aren't we supposed to talk about this first?"
Soichiro hesitated, "I thought our ride in the car counted as 'talking,' you being you-"
"Me being me?" shrieked Raito. He drew his fists to the front of his body and shook them. "Dad, I didn't even know I was making him up until today!" L assumed it was in good, theatrical taste that Raito did several double-takes between the mini-death and Soichiro.
"You haven't talked to him the entire time we've been in the car," Raito's father remarked. The brunette slumped in his seat, discouraged. "Well, now that you're here, I don't think I want to," he bit.
"The psychiatrist is probably going to want the two of you to talk so she knows what she's dealing with."
Oh boy. Raito's pride would have a field day. On the brighter side, however, he was actually talking to someone. Everyone else just couldn't see. L hoped Raito would take note of the upside and it would quell his humiliation.
Of course, this was purely wishful thinking on L's part.
Raito resigned himself quietly to his stagnant silence in the back seat and conversed with his father no longer. After two straight minutes of tense lack of action, L became bored. He tapped his fingers together and hummed something straight out of his imagination.
The trip to the psychiatrist's was long and tedious, not to mention the air, which could only be cut with a very sharp knife.
When the car finally slowed to a stop, L was halfway through the passenger side window and making faces at himself in the mirror. He casually floated in and out of the door, alighting awkwardly on a pot of pink flowers. Soichiro made toward Raito's door. L assumed he held the intention of opening it for him. Raito swung his door open by himself, nearly smacking his father in the face, and waltzed out with his hands in his pockets. Soichiro closed the door behind him.
L felt like he was watching a soap opera.
The dysfunctional duo marched over to a pair of glass doors which paid homage to the great god 'PUSH' and made their way inside. L concluded that it would be in Raito's best interest if he followed.
So he did.
L followed. Nothing more.
He would have remarked on the tastelessness of the beige walls on the building's interior, but determined Raito to be beyond the appreciation of dialogue. It was clear to everyone that he was angry.
But it was clear only to L that he was tense.
The rigid, straight gait in which Raito walked gave it all away. His shoulders were squared, his feet intersected his legs at perfect right angles, and his fists were clenched tightly at his sides. One quick examination of his face revealed that Raito's jaw was set and his eyes were focused straight ahead.
Soichiro exchanged greetings with a cherry-faced woman before she led them to a harmless-looking wooden door with a plant to its side. L followed them in.
He was appalled by what he saw.
There, sitting in a plush leather couch, with a cup of espresso in her beautifully manicured fingers, was what humans defined as a very, very pretty woman. She did the stereotype justice. Tall, slender figure, long, blonde, straight hair and bright, clear eyes… Obviously a foreigner.
Stupid foreigners…
All L could think of was that Raito had better not eyeball her.
For her sake.
"Ah, Yagami-san," she shook Soichiro's hand. Her smiling, 'I want to help you sooo much' eyes turned to Raito, "and you must be Raito-kun." She held a hand out for Raito to do as he would with it. To L's sadistic delight, Raito turned his nose up at her.
Score!
Raito wasn't interested!
L did a little dance near the doorway and cheerfully bounced onto the arm of an armchair. It may have been Raito's stubborn dislike of the situation which caused the rejection, but L was more than happy in the possibility. Raito was normally cool, collected, and polite about formalities. Currently, he was either pissed off or uninterested.
Both, L hoped.
With the skill of an expert, the maddeningly radiant woman announced, "Nice to meet you both. My name is Halle Lidner."
She continued from there, but L was so selfishly disgusted of her voice that he tuned her out and ventured elsewhere. He didn't venture farther than the next room, as he was mindful of Raito's unease at his lack of presence. He liked to think that Raito enjoyed his company.
He was probably just afraid to die.
…
L could dream.
----
"So his name is Ryuzaki?"
Raito resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was the second time he'd come to see 'Just Call Me Halle' Lidner. The first day, his father had helpfully assumed that he would be too tired from testing to participate in any real counseling. Now, however, he was stuck.
Things weren't as bad as they could have been, though. He could have been assigned to an ugly, fat, balding man of a counselor. Instead, his counselor was relatively good-looking.
…Relatively good-looking?
Was that all Raito thought of her as? She had a perfect, soft face, flawless skin complexion, mesmerizing eyes, luscious lips, and sinful curves. And yet Raito couldn't bring himself to drool over her.
Was he gay or something?
Any guy from school would be practically drowning in a puddle of drool and God knew what else. Then there was Raito. He tried his best to think of her naked, sweaty, writhing body begging from underneath him.
It did absolutely nothing for him.
The realization began to dawn on him.
Raito was completely hopeless.
She coughed suggestively and Raito realized he hadn't answered her question. "Yeah," he grumbled finally.
Just Call Me Halle nodded to herself and folded her hands in her lap. "Your father also told me that he reminds you of someone you met in the past. Is that true?"
Raito glanced at Ryuzaki, who was bemusedly glaring at the counselor, and snorted, "Only a little."
"How so?"
"He looks like him, but more sleep-deprived. He doesn't act like him at all."
"Hmm…" she hummed thoughtfully, "That's strange."
Raito rolled his eyes. No. Everything was perfectly normal. He was just in a head-shrink's office because he wanted to be.
She chuckled suddenly. Raito arched his eyebrows and crossed his arms at her. "You don't like me very much, do you?" she suggested knowingly.
Well, everyone always stressed to express one's feelings in a psychiatrist's office. "Actually, no," Raito deadpanned.
"Huh. Normally a guy your age would be hitting on me right now," she remarked, examining her fingernails, "Are you gay?"
"Firstly," Raito interjected, "I don't understand what that has to do with anything. Secondly, I hate everyone. Everyone."
Ryuzaki made a strange face at him.
"I see," she laughed, "All part of psychological profiling."
"Whatever," growled Raito.
Halle cut quickly into the original subject. "So… Your father told me what he thought was going on inside your head, but I want to hear from you. Tell me why you think you're seeing this person."
"High fever," Raito deadpanned.
Halle nodded as if she thought his half-hearted opinion was interesting. "Any other reasons you can think of?" she asked.
Raito quirked an eyebrow. "Like what?"
Halle shrugged her shoulders. "Family problems, an argument, anything you think might be an underlying cause." When Raito gave her a clueless look, she elaborated. "Things like this often occur with the help of an influential moment or object in someone's life. Do you feel like Ryuzaki is connected with your life in any way?"
He was like a drop of Pepsi in Raito's lemonade. He may have been small, but Raito could taste him everywhere.
…Bad context…
He squelched a dirty thought and said, "I'm not sure." Then, in an attempt to sound more helpful and treatable, he suggested, "I have a difficult time socializing with my peers I suppose…"
"Making friends?" Halle suggested.
"If you want to make me sound like a kindergartener, yes," Raito conceded.
"Alright," she nodded, arranging thoughts in her head with each bob. Raito could tell she was about to switch gears.
"Now, I know this is going to be awkward, but don't make a bigger deal out of it than it is."
Oh, fuck. Raito knew what was coming.
She continued, oblivious to the horror in Raito's eyes, "Whatever you say, I'm just here to listen. Pretend I'm not here if you want. Everything that you say in this room is confidential by your choice. I don't have to tell anything to anyone outside this room, not even your father, unless you let me. Kay?"
Raito groaned.
"I want you to imagine I'm not here, and I want you to talk to Ryuzaki for a minute."
Yep. Damn. This was going to be awkward.
"I just want to get an idea of what goes on between you two. I know I won't be able to hear what Ryuzaki says, but that doesn't matter. I want you two to be comfortable with each other."
Raito sardonically adored the way she said 'you two.' She wasn't paid for nothing.
"Okay, go!" she said all too enthusiastically.
Raito groaned and turned sideways on the armchair. Ryuzaki was perched expectantly on the end table. He blinked his huge, black, panda-eyes and said, "You know you aren't crazy. If anything, you should be smug about being able to talk to the supernatural."
"Oh?" Raito argued to provide Halle with something to listen to. He just wanted it to end. "Right now, I don't feel so special. Please, Ryuzaki, tell me, what about this is there to be proud of?"
Ryuzaki fluffed out his feathers. "You're in quite the bad mood today."
"Duh," Raito growled, "I'm in a psych ward. This is all your fault, you know that?"
"I fail to see why," Ryuzaki deadpanned.
"If you didn't keep talking to me during class, this never would have happened. I wouldn't be fucking crazy right now!"
"You never were," the mini-death announced bravely.
"She thinks so," Raito pointed a thumb at Halle.
"Since when do you give a rat's ass what she thinks?" Ryuzaki argued.
Damn! He had a point. Raito sighed, defeated, but not for long. He needed to find something else to fill the time. He was beginning to squirm under the psychiatrist's gaze.
"Let's talk about something nicer," Raito offered.
Ryuzaki snorted, "What a surprise. I never expected you to suggest such a thing, Raito-kun."
"Nice, Ryuzaki."
"Quite," bit the mini-death, "though I am unsure of what, being of a 'nice' nature, there is to speak of between us."
Once again, Ryuzaki had a point. The air between them had been more than tense in the past week. A jolt of electricity had come along with Ryuzaki's unknowing confession of jealousy and the sting still lingered in Raito's head.
Half of him wanted to remember and beware Ryuzaki's words. Half of him wanted to cast the matter aside and forgive the mini-death.
Yet, no single fraction of Raito Yagami wanted to hate him for it.
"I think I can forgive you for your outburst that one night," Raito offered.
Ryuzaki gave him a mocking sneer. "Oh? I was not aware that jealousy against your friend was a mistake, Raito-kun."
"I'm trying to be nice," he growled, grating his teeth together.
The mini-death gave him a considering once-over before accepting Raito's endeavors. "I take it you still think ill of me despite your forgiveness?" he assumed.
Raito glanced furtively at Halle. She was leaning over in her seat with genuine interest and tapping expectantly at the corner of one eye. This was what Raito was afraid of. She was paying way too much attention. He chose his words ambiguously. "Yeah, a little. It's… new."
"I thought you liked 'new.'"
"Not that much."
"I see." Ryuzaki then began chewing thoughtfully on his thumb. He tilted his head slightly and said, "You know, I like the idea of us being forced to talk."
Raito gave him a blank look.
"It straightens things out," Ryuzaki added.
Raito had to agree with him on that one. Being forced to sort differences out was better than letting them fester. However… if there were going to be more talks like this in the future, he needed a battle plan. He could slip up and say something stupid in front of Halle. God knew what she'd tell his father then.
"Except maybe I'll say something wrong. People tend to think too much," Raito said with an underlying tone of dire urgency. Luckily, Ryuzaki was well-versed in Raito's code talk. "I see," he mused around his thumb, "I'll warn you if I sense a dangerous topic. I might yell at you if you begin to ramble about something revealing as well."
"Good," agreed Raito. "How would yelling at me help me out though?"
"Stutter if I yell at you. No, perhaps not. Stuttering would seem odd coming from one such as yourself." Ryuzaki then gave him a sparkling eye, "You can think on your feet, can't you? Raito-kun is very keen to improvise when the need arises."
"Sounds good." Raito took another look at the counselor. He needed to talk less ambiguously if he didn't want her suspecting. He forced a nervous laugh in Halle's direction, "I guess I've ran out of stuff to say. Give me a word to talk about."
Ryuzaki got the hint once again. While the blonde woman said "How about chicken?" the mini-death suggested, "Use the word 'volcano' in a sentence if you want my help."
Raito nodded.
"Hey Ryuzaki," he addressed cheerily, "Do you like chicken?"
"You're a chicken," Ryuzaki shot back. The way his eyes glittered and his toes curled and relaxed didn't suggest malice, as his word choice did. Raito realized that Ryuzaki was making an attempt at small-talk.
Raito playfully replied, "That may be so, but you're full of shit."
----
"Judging from the information your son gave me, he may have imagined Ryuzaki up because he needed someone to talk to."
"A friend?"
"It would seem that way, but…"
"But what?"
"The two of them are anything but friendly toward one another."
Raito had sent L on a reconnaissance mission. His purpose was to eavesdrop on as much information as he could since Raito was waiting in the car like the good little boy his dad wanted him to be. He was to report on Halle's theories.
So far, she seemed to think that Raito was in need of an imaginary companion.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Soichiro demanded.
Halle waved him off. "First, I want to ask you a few things about his behavior. Have you ever caught him talking to Ryuzaki inside the household since his fever?"
"No," Raito's father announced. L rolled his eyes. Raito was only in his room, away from all family members, for most of the day.
"Hmm…" she mused, "This is only a theory. I can't determine exactly what's wrong with him yet, but I don't think he's merely fantasizing about an old friend."
Soichiro gulped.
"I think your son might be schizophrenic."
Oh my.
"Oh no," Soichiro despaired, deflating like a punctured parade balloon. Halle nodded curtly. "The damage may be permanent. There are pills, though. Schizophrenia is treatable."
"The last thing a kid his age needs is pills," Raito's father rasped.
"I agree," nodded Halle, "but if it isn't treated early on, the hallucinations may get worse. It may become difficult for him to discern reality from an imaginary world. He'll withdraw completely from society and it may be hard for him to continue with his life later on."
Raito's father sighed heavily through his nose and lamented with his hand to his chin. He stood there for quite a while, thinking. Suddenly, he shook his head in a defeated manner and asked, "When do we start?"
"First I have to figure out if it's schizophrenia we're dealing with. In the mean time, I want to learn whether or not Raito's hallucinations are an immediate danger to his health. In a sense, I'll be trying to make life between the two of them more bearable."
"There aren't two of them!" insisted Soichiro.
"To your son, yes, there are two," Halle corrected sternly. "When I heard Raito talking to Ryuzaki earlier, he sounded very much convinced that he was talking to another person. He was very expressive and his arguments were energetic. At first, he sounded intimidated by my presence, but Ryuzaki said something to him and it was as if I was listening to him speak on the phone to another person. I'm not saying that conversations between your son and his hallucinations are encouraged, but I find that it's better to deal with these situations slowly. Make sure your son knows that Ryuzaki isn't really there, but don't oppress him."
Soichiro stayed quiet.
"Make sure he knows you care, but don't overdo it," she repeated for emphasis. "Schizophrenia tends to make patients more suicidal than normal. He's still a teenager, so your words influence him more than you know."
Soichiro gulped.
Halle nodded stiffly. "I can't prescribe any medication to him this early on, but I promise, I'll find out what's wrong with him as soon as I can."
L lost interest in the conversation. Mostly, Raito's father continued pleading against Raito's condition. Halle consistently replied that she was doing what she could.
When Soichiro sullenly made his way to the car, L flew past him and alighted in the seat at Raito's side. The brunette looked at him expectantly.
"She thinks you're a schizo," said L.
"A and W are going to have a field day," Raito muttered after fantastically rolling his eyes, "They're undoubtedly going to link my being the 'only survivor' and my insanity."
"Not insanity," L corrected.
"Pretty damn close," muttered Raito as he crossed his arms.
"You could have denied Soichiro's information and said that you were fine," the psychopomp pointed out.
"Then I would've seemed more suspicious," Raito snorted. He aimed a level, unwavering leer at L. "As careful as I was not to be seen, how long do you think it would take me to screw up again? My teachers have been given the task of watching every move I make. If I denied my father's accusations and they caught me again, I'd be in deep shit."
"True," admitted L, "But I so foolishly assumed that talking to me only darkened your day."
"I thought we agreed to end the derisive talk."
L nodded. "Yes," he then grinned mischievously, "But it's fun to get a rise out of you once in a while."
"We're not that friendly yet, Ryuzaki," Raito warned.
L sat criss-cross in his seat and decided not to inform Raito of how happy the 'yet' made him. Adversely to Raito, L had enjoyed their forced conversation. Not only did they resolve a few festering matters, but the level of comfort Raito felt with him rose exponentially. L made sure of this when Raito tossed him a witty comeback somewhere amidst all the talking.
When Kira was happy, all was right and good in the world.
Speaking of Kiras, Ryuk's Anti-Kira had yet to make a move. Perhaps L was right and the shinigami was only trying to rile him up. Besides, Raito's imagination was the only reference L had to an Anti-Kira.
It had come completely out of Raito's head.
Still, it was possible. The possibility made L shiver.
Three.
If Ryuk wasn't lying, there were three.
However… if the Anti-Kiras were to be compared to the real thing, they were no more immortal than a rat was beneath the wheel of a car. Raito was no run-of-the-mill mortal. He could outwit and outlast any Anti-Kira who crossed his path. With L's intuitive mind by his side, he was unstoppable.
L looked from Raito to his father, who was entering the driver's seat and starting the car. Soichiro stole an endearing glance at his son and sighed.
L laughed.
Despite what his father thought, Raito was no nutcase.
He was Schizo-Kira, the Great and Invincible.
----
Chibi Raito: I'm a friggin' schizo. Look what you did!
Me: It's good plot! Plus, you got some alone-time with Mr. Psychopomp.
Chibi L: Do you know how creepy that sounds?
Me: Yes.
Chibi Misa: Love? Hate? Cake? Cookies? Want to do the Hokey-Pokey? Swirl wants to know what you thought.
Me: We gots us lotsa plotness and cuteness and fluffehness and cliffhangerness.
Chibi Raito: With a side of GRAMMAR if you please.
Me: I can make up words if I want.
Chibi Raito: 1 H4Yt y00!
Me: Yes. That's nice. Anyone wanna' take a guess as to who my three lovely, possible X-Kiras are? You know, for inspiration and such? Isn't it nice to know you have an influence in someone else's fanfiction?
Chibi L: Cookies:3
Chibi Misa: Cookies for reviewers! Swirly loves you ALL! Review, review, review!