The main characters don't belong to me but to the creators of CSI NY tv series. But Maria Kostopoulos is totally mine! And Dr. Irene Samaras too.
Thanks to Lily Moonlight. After her suggestions and corrections the text always looks better.
This is nearly finished!
I Can't Say Goodbye
Chapter 23
A month had passed as quick as a flash, and the last few days had been full of emotions for Stella. The Embassy staff gave her a lot of gifts at her farewell party, all of them wishing the best for Mac and her. Mac had met them and everyone thought them a fantastic couple, but the most important thing was the evidence that that they loved each other.
Stella had finished her job brilliantly and she had been informed that in future, the framework for American leaders' high-security in Europe was going to be called the "Protocol Bonasera". They reiterated their offer for Stella to join the security services of the US Department of State at a destination of her choice, which would open up a range of options for her, even more interesting than the CSI lead in New Orleans. Above all, it would make it possible for her to search for a destination in New York to allow Mac and her to start their family and raise their children.
The offer to coordinate security efforts between the US government and UN forces in the headquarters in New York, open until Stella decided to join them, looked likely to be her choice. She couldn't marry Mac and work in the same chain of command in the CSI... and leaving for New Orleans with their first baby on the way, was out of the question. Working for a different institution, in her home city, seemed to be the most reasonable decision.
The economic part of the offer, the shorter hours and other benefits offered to Stella had left Mac gaping. If she accepted, Stella could earn almost three times his salary as Inspector Chief of the CSI Lab; her medical insurance would be infinitely better for her and her family; maternity provision was higher, and above all, it would mean she would not be working on scenes and facing that potential danger. That to Mac was the greatest benefit.
Here in Greece though, with those decisions still some way off, Mac could not remember having spent a full month in his life without working. And the worst thing, he said to himself, was that he liked it. He didn't miss New York at all, and neither did he miss having to chase criminals. Yeah, he missed the daily presence of their colleagues and friends, but seeing Stella every day and sharing with her every night was worth it, he didn't need anything else. The famous Dr. Samaras' pregnancy guide and its chapter about sex during that period had been a success. In a few days Stella had seen her wish of trying all recommended positions come true. It had provided them moments not only full of sexual satisfaction, but they had had great fun exploring some of the recommendations.
"I never realised the number of uses you can put a chair to," Mac had said, while still catching his breath after finishing a pleasant shared orgasm, and bursting out in laughter as a duet.
In addition, Mac liked Athens. In the mornings, he accompanied Stella to her job and after that, he took his Greek lessons. There was a school that had a special agreement for the American Embassy staff and their families and Mac attended there for three hours every morning. His progress was remarkable, as Maria could observe every day. She was his private tutor. They had agreed to teach each other, and so Maria had never spoken so much English and Mac practiced Greek the whole time at home.
Besides Greek, Maria taught Mac to cook Stella's favourite dishes, and was teaching him too how to prepare creams and purées for the time when the baby started eating solids.
Mac had never imagined he'd be so interested in and entertained by cooking. He caught himself looking up new tasty and healthy recipes on the Internet for Stella, and seeing pages and pages about babies' feeding after the period of breastfeeding, which Stella and he had agreed to prolong as much as possible.
One of the most moving times for Mac inAthenstook place the day he accompanied Stella to her monthly visit to Dr. Samaras' practice. The doctor received him cheerfully, noticing the look of happiness in Stella's eyes, having him beside her. And when Mac saw the ultrasound image of their baby on the screen and heard the loud and regular beating of her little heart, he couldn't stop the tears. Seeing him that way, Stella joined him, and the doctor had to laugh.
"Come on, come on... this is not the time to mourn but to laugh loud and clear. This baby is perfectly healthy... Is there an agreement reached to reveal the sex or do you prefer to wait for the surprise?"
Stella looked at Mac, questioning him, and he cocked his head.
"I already know it, she's a girl. I told you Stella, but if you want the doctor to confirm..."
Stella looked at Dr. Samaras, shaking her head and opening her eyes theatrically.
"He says he dreamed about it... Such scientific evidence!"
"Do you want to know it scientifically?"
"Yes." The two responded at once and looked at each other, smiling. The doctor looked on Stella's belly for a better view with the scanner. The baby was quiet with her back turned to them, but then, she gave a little jump and as if she knew what they were hoping for, she showed all. The three laughed. The doctor didn't have to explain anything. It was a girl. Mac couldn't help leaning over Stella and kissing her smiling lips.
"I hope she doesn't keep this habit of showing her private parts so blatantly when she's older..." Mac joked. "My God, I won't know what to do when she reaches adolescence and dresses in the sort of clothes girls wear now... I'll have a heart attack every time she leaves home!"
He said it so seriously that the two women had to laugh.
"Who knows, fashion gives many turns and within thirteen or fourteen years maybe the coolest thing will be going around covered from neck to feet." Dr. Samaras tried to encourage the expectant father. "However, so far, what we know is that she's very healthy and very strong. Stella, she's quite big, and that's good for her, but not so much for you at the time of birth... You should start as soon as possible the childbirth classes. You don't need to be scared, nature knows what to do, and normally big babies come from big women like you, and they are born with the same ease as the little ones, the mother's body responds to what it has been nurturing. So don't panic, but to know what to expect is always good. OK?"
Stella smiled, but her gesture was rather forced.
"There's no turning back, right? I'm not going to deny that it scares me to think about the delivery, but... I hope I'll get through it okay."
"I'll be there with you." Mac helped her to sit up.
"You'd better be!" She hugged him, resting her face on his shoulder. The doctor gave them the image with the impudent foreground her daughter had offered them, and another view of her face in profile. Looking at that, Dr. Samaras ventured to search for resemblances.
"For now, I think she's more aTaylorthan a Bonasera. But children change, sometimes surprisingly, and who knows if when adult she will look like her mother, just like most of the women, who end looking like our mums"
"For her sake I hope so." Mac smiled at Stella.
They agreed with the doctor that she would send Stella's medical history to her doctor in New York, since it was the last visit, and Dr. Samaras begged them to tell her how the birth had been when it occurred. There were only a few days left until their return to America and Stella thanked Dr. Samaras profusely for her excellent service. In turn, she wished Mac and Stella all the happiness in the world.
And then, almost before they realised, they were on the plane back to New York. Maria had insisted on accompanying them to the airport and she had stayed there, next to the passport control gate, crying uncontrollably and throwing kisses with her hands endlessly. Stella had also wept, and Mac had tried to remain calm himself to avoid too much of a sad show, but it had cost him a great effort. Maria was extraordinary. What they would have loved was to take her with them, but she had her life in Athens, she had her only child there, and she couldn't leave everything to live the lives of others. In addition, Kostas had told his mother that, at last he would marry the following year. So, perhaps, in not too long a time Maria would have a baby of her own flesh and blood to take care of.
The flight allowed Stella and Mac to bring up some things that had been deferred. Stella had opened the session with the topic of dreams.
"Mac, you never told me that famous dream, the one that made you sure the baby was a girl." Mac sighed and rested his head on the back of the seat, turning it toward her, smiling.
"It was special, none of my other dreams have remained so clear in my memory. Usually, if I wake up dreaming about something, I forget it a few minutes after, but that day... I can't believe it was a result of alcohol, as I don't want to think this also is..." He put his hand on Stella's belly as she laughed.
"Not a direct consequence, Mac. This did involve not only drinking, there was something else we had to do..."
"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have done... all the necessary without the lack of inhibition that alcohol gave me." He paused and laughed rather ruefully. "Maybe it's better if our daughter doesn't know that particular part… But that night that changed our lives, I dreamed I was lying sunbathing on a beach while watching you play with the little girl by the sea, and then Claire came to me. She said to me that what I was seeing hadn't happened yet, but it would happen, and she was happy about it, and for us being together. She scolded me for having waited so long before deciding to have something more with you." He sighed before continuing. "I told her I'd missed her and she said that I no longer needed her because I had you, and then she walked away. Since then I haven't dreamed about her again."
Stella sat as if paralyzed, her mouth half open.
"You-you said that you missed her?"
"Yes, why? It was only a dream"
Stella put her hand to her forehead and breathed deeply a few seconds; long enough for Mac to start panicking.
"Stella, are you okay?"
"Yes, yes, it's just ... Oh, Mac, do you know sometimes you speak in dreams?"
"So? Did I say something terrible?"
"That morning, when I woke up and you still were sleeping, I heard you… You said "I missed you, Claire"... And I drew my own conclusions. I thought you'd made love to me believing you were with Claire, and that was what you unconsciously wanted. God, I wanted to wake you there and then and demand an explanation... But instead of that I left and I wasn't even able to say goodbye." Tears streamed down her cheeks now. Mac leaned over to hug her and they spent a few minutes without talking.
"We could have saved a lot of trouble, it's true. But shushhhh, we're fine, we're together." Mac held her and rocked her gently, smiling before speaking.
"There was something else in the dream that I haven't told you. I don't want to scare you, but... the little girl was just about two years old, she was entirely a Taylor, and you were again..." while he spoke he put his hand on her protruding belly. "So maybe you should get used to the idea!" Stella, more animated, hit him with her elbow, her favorite lethal weapon since she had become less agile.
"So it really was your intention that I stay like a whale as long as possible?"
"We agreed you weren't a whale." Mac grinned. "We were going to call you a manatee, right?" The comment earned him another nudge in the ribs.
"We'll see," Stella said, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "We'll talk about it after I've given birth, and see if we want to repeat the experience."
Mac leaned to kiss her gently. "Agreed." Adding, "Do you realize that in just ten days it's Christmas?"
"We'll be home in time for the children's party, but I can't help you transport the tree this year."
Mac became thoughtful. "I couldn't imagine this time last year that only a year later we'd be so close to having our own family. I remember you said: There's nothing like Christmas in New York. This year will be the happiest of all. I hope my mother will come to visit us, do you mind?"
"Not only do I not mind, but I'd love it. I have a lot of things to ask her," Stella replied
"Like what?"
"Women's things which aren't your concern." She smirked and then became serious. "No, seriously, things like... The things I'd ask my mother, if she... About childbirth, caring for the baby and so on. When they're born, they're so delicate, I'm almost afraid I'll hurt her."
"She'll be happy you want to ask her, when I told her about the pregnancy, she was thrilled. The next day, she went to buy wool to start knitting. She will love this baby."
"Shouldn't we start thinking about names to call this baby, now that we have more certainty that she's a girl?"
"Well, my dream had been reinforced by a little inside information," Mac admitted, looking a little guilty.
"What do you mean?"
"I knew for sure she was a girl before I travelled to Athens"
"How?" Stella demanded.
"In the same way I knew your address, your weight, your blood pressure... all your medical records. And I saw the sonogram and the indication about the sex: Female. It was all in your file from Dr. Samaras' practice. Adam got into the network and I saw everything, including ultrasounds, I heard the sound of her little heart..." Stella looked at him, speechless.
"I don't know what to say. Of course, you're a hound, Mac Taylor"
"And for the name... Have you thought about something for Baby Taylor?" Mac asked her.
"Well, Maria asked me a few days ago what your mother's name was, Mac. Do you know why?"
"I don't, why?"
"The Greek family tradition says that the eldest son or eldest daughter is named after his or her paternal grandparents."
"And what do you think about that tradition?"
"I'd like to follow it."
"Emily, then?" Mac asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Emily, yes. I love it, I think it sounds good and it has a personality. Emily Taylor, after her grandmother. Perhaps Emily- Something -Taylor, to be different."
"What about Athena? One of the goddesses, because my girl is going to be a goddess, and it's also a reminder of the city in which we have been so happy... and in which she has become almost a person."
"Athena! I like it. Emily Athena Taylor, not bad... But, Mac, we'll have to wait and see what your mother says. Perhaps she doesn't want the baby named after her."
Mac smiled openly.
"She will want it, I guarantee. At first, she'll say no, that the baby deserves a nice name... But she'll be happier than a dog with two tails, if I know her."
"A dog with two tails?"
"That's right." They both laughed.
Despite the hours spent in the flight, it didn't seem too long to them. Stella was afraid that her legs would swell because of the pressure, but everything went without a hitch. They had not notified anyone they were coming back because they wanted to surprise everyone with a visit to the lab.
New Yorkers had already lit their Christmas lights and the city sparkled even though the weather was cold and threatening snow. When they finally reached Mac's apartment, they dropped on the couch after turning the heat on. The jet lag had kicked in and though it was only mid-afternoon in New York, they wanted to sleep, as they should be doing if they were still in Athens. But before going to bed, Mac took Stella's hand and asked her to accompany him. When they reached the door opposite the master bedroom, where Stella knew Mac had a small office, she had a big surprise. There was no such office anymore; instead the room was the image of a bright, safe and happy place, a small paradise full of pink tulips. The crib, the rocking chair... They were Mac's, which she had seen in the attic of his home in Chicago! And the wooden horse in the middle of the room, the stuffed toy cat over the crib...
Stella hugged Mac, weeping with emotion. He didn't want to weep too, so he leaned to balance the wooden horse.
"Look, this is Charlie. He was my first great friend. Mom had cleaned and prepared him even before she knew he was going to have a new owner."
Stella stroked the mane, which remained soft despite its age.
"Hello, Charlie!"
"And Emily's first teddy was chosen by Lucy. She already knows how to say kitten, she's talking a lot."
The two stood there, hugging, looking into the room that would soon know the laughter and cries of its future owner, Emily Athena Taylor. Stella suddenly felt that the little one was giving her approval with a kick. The tears turned into laughter, also a signal of the happiness that they shared.
Mac looked at her, thinking he didn't deserve so much.
"Welcome home, Stella"
To be continued...
And the next one will be the end...