Title: Midsummer Madness
Author: Burning_Ice
Rating: R
Summary: Katara learns that there are both advantages and drawbacks to being a female water bending master, and pays back a favor to an old friend.
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Disclaimer: This is a fan made project, I didn't create any of this. I don't claim it as my own. But you should definitely go buy Avatar merchandise, mainly because it rocks.
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Chapter 29: The Blame Game
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The sun was sinking below the horizon, and they all knew they would have to figure something out for the night. Everyone sat quietly, unsure of what to do. Ty Lee had wrapped her arms around Mai and was openly sobbing, mourning her best friend. The aristocrat stared off into space glumly, but had grudgingly put an arm around the smaller girl and was patting her back. Katara considered asking her why it was ok for Ty Lee to messily cry on her but it wasn't okay for Zuko to but then dismissed it, now was not the time for petty jabs. It looked like the girl had paid for her mistakes anyways, three huge gashes were stitched up with black thread, and they stretched from one side of her face to the other. It was rather grotesque, and hard to look at.
"Alright, so what do we do?" June turned and looked at Katara, and after a moment, Ty Lee and Mai followed suit. The water bender blinked from where she knelt with the Fire Lord cradled in her arms, how was she 'leader elect'? She didn't even have her bending.
"Er . . ." She took a deep breath, and suddenly, everything became clear, "Is the airship destroyed?"
"I think the engine melted." June replied.
"Ok, Ty Lee, do you feel comfortable walking the woods in the dark? I need you to go get Appa from the stable in the inn in the next town over. He knows you, you know how to drive him, right?"
"Yes, but, the woods? At night? Alone?" Ty Lee wiped a few stray tears from her cheek and shifted back and forth, tugging at the hem of her skirt.
"Mai, go with her."
"Hey! You can't just send that turncoat out! All of this happened because of her! What if she runs away?!" June protested, glaring daggers at the other goth.
"Her punishment for treason is for Zuko to decide." Katara bit out. Ok, maybe one tiny jab, "You can probably reach it by morning. June, I don't know long you have been paid up until-"
"Ursa was a friend." June barked, crossing her arms, "I'm not on the clock."
"Ok, can you round up some friends tonight- you do have friends in this town, right?"
"I can make some." June punched a fist into her open palm for emphasis.
"Alright, then round them up and you and I will sweep the beach tomorrow at low tide. Hopefully, they'll have . . ." Katara glanced down at the man in her arms, he didn't appear to be listening, he was just staring out at the ocean blankly, ". . . you know, washed up . . ."
"I'll meet you at the tavern in the morning." June pivoted trotting up the pathway and into the village.
Katara sighed and wrapped one of Zuko's arms over her shoulders and struggled to haul the unresponsive teen to his feet.
"Here, I'll help you." Ty Lee, always eager to please, scurried over and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders.
"Ty Lee! Your hands!" Katara reached for them, and the acrobat blushed and hid them behind her back.
"Azula's fire is blue because of the temperature she can reach, most benders cant burn it that hot . . . I can help you carry him. I'm fine." Although her face was flushed and tear streaked, the acrobat looked determined.
"Where is the inn in town?" Katara turned to Mai, who shook herself out of her stupor and pointed, "Alright, lead the way."
Between the two of them, Katara and Ty Lee half led, half carried the Fire Lord up the hill, although it would have been easy for them to carry him between them, coordinating their movements as they climbed the slope was far from simple. By the time they reached the main road, both girls were sweating, though, Zuko, at least seemed to be regaining himself. He began walking fully, though Katara still had to keep her arms on him to hold him steady and lead him where she wanted him to go.
Mai ducked in ahead of them, showing them the way up to the room she and Azula had shared. Apparently the aristocrat had financed much of the expedition. After the initial struggle to get him up the stairs and into the room's bed, Ty Lee and Katara flopped down onto the floor, exhausted.
"Ty Lee, find the village healer, I can't help you until the day after tomorrow, but I swear, I will do everything I can." Katara told her.
"I don't know where it is."
"I can show you." Mai told her in her usual monotone, her fingers touching one of her stitched cuts lightly, "I was there earlier."
"Go on Ty, I can manage."
"Okay, I'll be back in a little while." The smaller girl promised and then cantered off with her friend. The door slammed, and Katara turned around, placing her hands on her hips and surveying her boyfriend. He had rolled over onto his side and curled up like a child, staring blankly at the wall, his gold eyes hollow.
What would be the best course of action? Katara wasn't sure, she ran her fingers through her hair and stared blankly as it ended way to early and left her fingers covered with crinkled, charred strands. Briefly, she remembered one of Zuko's yells had caught some of it, but the damage must have been worse than she thought. In girlish vanity, she cried out and rushed to the mirror, cringing. Although it was much longer than Suki's bob, it was barely half of the length it used to be, and she slumped down to the floor, leaning her head forward between her knees and pressing her palms against her forehead.
The instant she stopped moving and doing things, the memories started up, Azula and Zuko's screams . . . one in agony, one in anguish. The feeling of powerlessness, if she had had her bending, she could have doused the fire. She had the whole sea at her disposal. Instead she had let Azula grab her and start electrocuting her. Ursa had promised to protect her . . .
Her eyes began to sting with tears.
It was her fault.
Ursa died protecting her because Zuko loved her.
It was ALL her fault.
She should have never offered to work on Zuko's chest that night in Iroh's tea shop. If she hadn't, they would have never glimpsed her heightened power, they would have never left for the Swamp. She should have never kissed him in the cave of two lovers. If she hadn't, he would still be with Mai and the foolish girl would never have released Azula. If she had never gone to the swamp, she would never have found out about the Sirens. She would have never learned how to read Ozai, and she would never have learned about Ursa's powers. She could see it now, an intricate web of waterways like the women of the swamp described. If she had just stayed out of everyone's business, Azula would never have had the opportunity to commit matricide.
Tears were streaking down her cheeks by then and Katara laced her toes, rocking back and forth where she had collapsed.
What was she supposed to do? How could she fix this?! She had wanted so much to reunite Zuko with his mother. She had wanted to make him happy, and instead, she had totally ruined everything. They had first bonded over their mutual motherlessness, and the fact that it was her fault that Ursa was dead, that she had taken her away from him made her feel sick inside.
Katara dug her fingernails into her scalp enough for it to hurt. How could she do that to someone she claimed to love? Was she a horrible person? Was she as much of a monster as Azula and Ursa? It was supposed to be a favor, an apology, a reimbursement, to find and lay Ursa at Zuko's feet so to speak, it was supposed to make him love her more. Instead, because of her, he had watched his mother burn alive.
There was a knock on the door, it startled Katara out of her stupor of self pity, and she called for them to come in.
"Hello young mistress," The innkeeper's wife bustled in her arms ladened with towels and assorted bottles, "You're friends of the young lady Mai, aren't you?"
"Yea, I guess you could call us friends." 'Rivals' would have been more appropriate.
"Well, I saw you come in, and I took the liberty of starting a bath for you, you're covered with soot and . . . umm . . . moisture. And your hair looks to need a washing." The woman informed her politely as she used a hip to open the door completely. Two boys bustled in, carrying a huge metal tub between them, they were careful to keep it level as it was filled with water, steam rising from it. Katara was surprised to see that they were the same two boys she had met on the ferry. Gen winked at her.
They sure got around, they were worse than the cabbage merchant.
"It's nice and hot," the woman told her as she pulled an assortment of soaps out of her apron and lined them up next to the bath, "Do you want help? I can tell the boys to stay, your friend looks hurt, they can help you lift him."
"No!" Katara told her, fishing in her travel robes for some coins to tip her, "I can manage. Do you think you could bring up some bandages, and if someone named June comes by looking for us, send her up." Katara had a feeling Zuko wouldn't be up for eating much, and would probably refuse anything she tried to coax into his system.
"Okay then young mistress, you just come find me when you're ready for me to take it away." With that she hustled the two boys out and closed the door behind her.
Katara breathed for a few minutes, looking back and forth, she didn't really think a bath was a great idea at the moment, she definitely didn't feel like taking one, but it was something to keep her mind occupied. It would distract her and keep her from curling up into a ball of self pity. Plus, she could see that Zuko had several scratches and cuts that could use a wash, and maybe he would come around feeling the water on his skin.
He had obviously changed in a hurry, his armor was buckled crookedly, and the knots were done wrong. It took several minutes to get the damn breastplate and shoulder pads off, but she managed, and was grateful when she got to the cloth underneath. Her fingers were long familiar with how to get Zuko's regular cloths off, and she made quick work of the ties and buttons. Finally, she circled the prince's arm over her shoulders and enticed him into a stand by lifting him with all her might, leading him like she would a docile ostrich horse.
Cooperating without making much of a fuss, Zuko yielded his body, letting her move him across the room and into the water. It was soon clear that bathing someone without bending was a lot more difficult than she remembered, and Zuko made no move to help her. His head rested on the rim of the tub, and he stared vacantly at the ceiling, looking much like his father had when the surgeons had drugged him with the strange smoke.
"Please snap out of it." She finally pleaded, running one of the wash towels over his scar, wiping the grime from his face in her typical motherly fashion, "Come on Zuko! I don't know what to do here without you."
"She can't be dead . . ." It was the first thing that had slipped from his lips since he had screamed for Ursa as she burned. His eyes finally focused and he turned his head to look at her. "She just vanished . . . same as last time. She can't be dead."
Katara didn't reply. She had no answer to give. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him, offering him the little comfort the warmth and closeness of her body could provide. It seemed to help, he raised his arms and returned the embrace, pulling her halfway into the tub with him, soaking her travel robes to the shoulder. The water level rose dangerously high, but didn't overflow, and without protest, she let him bury his face into her neck.
"I'm so sorry," she found herself apologizing, and once she started, she couldn't stop,"Zuko, I am so, so sorry . . . It's my fault, It's all my fault. I should have done something. I should have taken down Azula. I was waiting for an opening that would cripple her, I didn't want to kill your sister, spirits, if I had just killed her, Ursa would be safe . . ."
He didn't respond, he had lapsed back into himself, and his hold on her loosened. Katara detangled herself from him and rung her cloths out the best she could before returning to the chore of tending to the shell shocked prince.
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June stared out over the water, shivering in the wind. Although she hated to admit it, she hurt. She had known things would not end well, but had not thought they would go so south. It wasn't like Ursa would climb out of the water below and be okay, she had been enveloped in a huge fire ball, she fell hundreds of feet into shallow craggy water. Still, June waited and watched in the cool night air, hoping.
She sniffed, wrapping her arms more tightly around her chest, remembering the fire lady and their unlikely friendship. It had not been easy, they were both cranky and strong willed, but there was a certain mutual respect that they had had for each other, and it bothered June that she didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
"Isn't there some sort of sisterly rule in your culture that it's dishonorable to use your gifts on a friend?"
"You are not a friend."
"I want to ask my question."
"Very well."
"Do you, Fire Lady Ursa, have any intention at all of killing your daughter?"
"No. I have no intention of killing my daughter. I'm going to put her out of her misery. If she really wants my blood, I will not deny her, but she will find the cost of my demise will be very steep, it may cost her her very humanity."
June wondered what Ursa had meant. It had made no sense at the time, and still did not. Ursa said that she had no intention of killing her daughter . . . what had changed? Why had Ursa refused to release her when the flames started to consume them? It made no sense at all, was hugging her daughter really so important?
The only logical conclusion was that Ursa had lied, but June dealt with thieves all the time, and usually had a pretty good idea when someone was telling a tale. She truly thought that Ursa had been truthful.
That meant that there was another part of the puzzle that had yet to fall into place. Ursa was from the sea, and maybe to the sea she would return.
June shook her head to clear it.
The woman had always been an enigma, and a monster, and her daughter, like most daughters had become her mirror image.
June traced one of the snake tattoos on her exposed triceps, wondering what she meant by 'Putting her out of her misery', wasn't that the same as killing someone? What did Ursa think she owed the crazy girl? Standing again, she squinted out into the haze of the water. There was no moon and no light to see by, but she could have sworn she saw someone, or something, break the surface. As suddenly as it came, it was gone, and the bounty hunter decided that her eyes must be playing tricks on her. There was nothing in the bay, the short brunette had looked and looked.
Turning she surveyed the area, the grass and vegetation was burnt pretty well to a crisp, and the trees were still smoking. There was no light, but that hardly mattered, June could find anything, anywhere. Trudging around aimlessly for several minutes, she finally found the footprints of the Ostrich horse Ursa and Katara had been riding. She recognized Katara's Water Tribe shoes, and Ursa's pointed, Fire Nation ones walking away. Reorientating herself, she followed the tracks back into the woods.
She wanted another look at what the late Lady Ursa had in her saddle bags.
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After having his scratches washed and dressed, Zuko had been content to curl back up on the bed and stare at the wall, and Katara let him. To keep her hands and mind busy, she washed out his cloths, so she didn't even bother to redress him. Her own cloths needed washing as well, and she needed to change her bindings because of her moon time. In all the excitement, at least, she had not had time to moan about cramps and fatigue.
After she had finished the menial tasks, she washed out her hair, mourning it's loss. She would have to ask Ty Lee to even it out for her, the girl just seemed like the type who knew everything about everything about hair. Finally, she rinsed and dressed the burns on her upper arms where Azula had gripped her and sent in her electricity. They were only first degree, but they were painful under pressure, and she found herself whimpering more than once as she wrapped them up. When she got back to the palace, she would have to have the doctors look at them, she didn't want to leave Zuko to see the seedy village's healer.
"Hey Katara, I'm back! Just for a second though, Mai is waiting downstairs." Ty Lee burst in, "I brought back some herbs for you, I saw you burnt your arms."
How did that girl always stay on top of everything? Katara thought, No wonder she was Azula's go to girl, in spite of being a ditz.
"Ek! I wasn't expecting you! Wait Ty!" Katara yelled, whirling around to the bed with a towel, "Zuko isn't decent!"
Tossing the towel over him and then tucking it under him, Katara made sure nothing important was visible.
"Ok Ty, you can open your eyes now."
"I wasn't closing them."
"Oh." Katara glared at her friend, then hurriedly changed the subject, "You said you found herbs?"
"Yea, well, it wasn't hard, everyone and their mother in the fire nation keeps these plants around," Ty Lee produced the long prickly stalks, their insides still dripping with their soothing gooey filling.
"Thanks." Katara took them gratefully and accepted the hug that Ty Lee forced onto her.
"I'll be back with Appa soon." She promised, patting Katara on the back, then whispered "I've known Zuko a while . . . sometimes he goes through these depressions . . . Iroh was telling me about a really bad one in Ba Sing Se, he had a fever and was in bed for days and days, and had nightmares, Iroh was really worried . . . anyways, he is going to go through those five stages of loss. Brace yourself for the 'anger' stage . . . it's not going to be pretty . . . nobody gets angry quite like Zuko."
"He has every right to be mad at me." Katara replied glumly, "This is all my fault."
"No." the acrobat responded, squeezing tighter, "It's nobody's fault. Nobody could have seen this coming, nobody could have stopped it. Now, you're going to have to be really strong, 'tara, I'll be back as soon as I can with Appa."
Katara allowed herself to be released and then muttered something about high and mighty air benders giving unsolicited advice. Ty lee however, has simply given a half heartedly forced grin and trotted out the door, closing it softly behind her.
Walking back over to the bed, Katara sat down next to her boyfriend and tucked a strand of loose hair behind his misshapen ear. His eyes were closed, but he was frowning in his sleep, his face tense. Worried by what the acrobat had told her, she checked his temperature, and to her dismay, it was up. Unfortunately, a bar fight had broken out downstairs, and she had little hope of getting any of the inn's staff up to help her, they had to clean the common area and drag their unconscious patrons either to their rooms or out back to sleep it off.
Her heart twinged, she remembered losing her own mother, it felt like something in her had died with the woman. It felt cold and lonely. Pulling the covers up over him, she curled up next to him, circling an arm over his stomach and nuzzling the back of his neck tenderly. She wished that she could offer him some healing, but that would have to wait, all she had to offer then was empathy.
"I know what it feels like." Katara whispered into his ear, unsure whether he was lucid enough to hear her, "To watch your mother die. To lose her so unexpectedly. I know how you feel right now." She laced her fingers with his and lay her head on the pillow, intent on watching him for the night.
As the hours ticked away, the Prince's temperature climbed, and he began twitching back and forth, muttering. Sitting cross legged next to him, Katara did all she could to keep him cool and keep him still. He had soon soaked through his blankets, and at last, she pulled them off him entirely, hoping that would make him more comfortable.
Finally, at what Katara thought must have been four in the morning, after almost eight hours of her stressing and praying, his fever broke, and almost that exact instant he sat up gasping.
"Zuko?!" She whispered tentatively, she had been starting to nod off, and the sudden movement startled her to wakefulness.
He paid her no attention, but bolted from the bed with a strangled cry and jumped out of bed, his legs tangling in the covers and sending him crashing to the floor. Regaining his footing, he crossed the room and fumbled for the mirror on the dresser. Grabbing a fistful of hair, he pulled it out of his face, looking at his scar for a long minute, then panting, relieved.
By then, Katara had moved to join him, and brushed her fingers lightly on his bare shoulder, getting his attention.
"I had a dream." Was all he mumbled by way of explanation.
The water bender gone nurse decided to let it go, "You should go back to bed, you should get some sleep if you can."
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The next morning, June found Ursa's body.
It had washed ashore during the night. It was clear by the gaping crack in her skull that she had smacked her head on the underwater rocks as she plunged into the water, and it had probably killed her instantly. The current then must have dragged her and Azula down and under, and out of the shallows that Ty Lee had been able to search.
There was no sign of Azula.
It was very likely that the poor girl had been swept out to sea on the riptide, but Katara couldn't help but feel like it would take more than an incineration, freefall, and drowning to end Azula.
She and Zuko had walked together the littered beach the half mile to where they found the woman. She hadn't wanted him to go, but he refused to believe it was his mother until he had seen it with his own eyes. After all, Pyre on the Water was the sort of place where people went missing and washed up a few days later all the time.
There was no doubt though, even with her charred and decomposing flesh, her gold eyes were still remarkably intact. Although she might not have been the only one to die the previous evening, she was the only one with aristocratic blood. June had graciously volunteered to get Ursa's body back up to the top of the cliff with the help of some local muscle, and the Fire Lord had not objected.
Wordlessly, Zuko had walked back up the bluff, and Katara had followed several steps behind, leaving him with his thoughts. By the time they reached the cliff face she found Appa grazing on the patchy grass there, oblivious to the turmoil around him. Aang and Ty Lee were perched on his head, and the acrobat smiled and waved nervously.
"Where is Mai?" Zuko asked coolly as they slid off the animal.
"Um, well, she . . ."
"Ty Lee lost her," Aang explained, "but she found me." The air bender jumped off his friend and landed in front of the Fire Lord, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry Zuko."
Zuko didn't return the hug, "Just take me back to the palace Aang."
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The next few days passed in a blur. The Funeral came and went, Katara sat in the audience as the sun sages gave a speech over the twin coffins. They had never found Azula's body, but the story of the murder reached far and wide. Although most people accepted the truth, there were still whispers that the Princess was still alive, just in hiding. It was, however, widely rejected, Azula never kept a low profile.
In an incredible show of mercy, Zuko charged Mai with breaking out a prisoner instead of high treason. Instead of being put to death, she was given a sentence of a year in the capital's prison, the same place Iroh had been. This raised more discontent, and the crime rate climbed, the common criminals taking advantage of their ruler's newfound leniency.
Except for the funeral, Zuko had not left his room.
The first day it was to be expected, the second, it was normal, the third, it was tolerable, but by the fourth, Katara had started to fret, then worry, then she began to get angry. He wouldn't see her when she came to visit, but she didn't take it personally at first, he wouldn't see anyone. Suki left for Kyoshi the following evening, saying that she had responsibilities there, and the morning combat practices subsided. Sokka had stayed, saying something about visiting Master Piandao, it was clear the two were quarreling again. Ty Lee and Aang spent most of their time together, doing drills, though the acrobat did seem to make as much of an effort reaching out to the fire lord as she did. His advisors had taken over governing while he mourned, but Katara knew that it couldn't last too much longer. Zuko's people needed him, and not even his mother came before his country.
Finally, somehow, Ty Lee managed to talk her way into his room, nobody was quite sure how, but they all knew how talented the sixteen year old was at getting into boy's rooms.
"Zuko . . ." The room was dark, all the shades drawn but one, and she found he had pulled up a chair to the far window and was sitting in the moonlight, "What are you looking at?"
"Make it quick, Ty." Zuko's eyes never shifted from the moonlit bay.
"It's been four days." Ty Lee appraised her childhood buddy, he seemed a ghost of himself. He hadn't slept, that was easy to tell, and as far as she knew he hadn't eaten either. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hands were trembling where they rested on the arms of the chair.
"You said you had news of Azula."
"Oh, right, we still haven't found her." Ty Lee managed an innocent smile, but her heart wasn't in it.
"That's not news." Zuko informed her.
"Well, it's sort of news, I mean, how would-" Ty Lee kicked herself, "Look, I haven't come here to debate what is news, I came here to talk to you."
"So you lied to me."
"It's been four days Zuko, your advisors are doing ok, but, it won't be much longer before your governmental infrastructure starts to crumble." Ty Lee's tongue tripped over the large words as she spoke them, and she mentally cursed her ditziness.
"So?"
"So, you need to dig deep and find the strength to get up and lead your people." She was pleading, they both knew it.
"My mom is dead." Zuko finally turned from the ocean view to look at her, his eyes wild, "My Mom is DEAD!! And you, you want me to snap out of it?!" he hissed.
"Well . . . yes." Ty Lee frowned deeply, crinkling her nose in the effort to not botch things up worse. The Fire Lord's red aura was brightening and heating, but all his chakras were muddying and slowing their spiral.
"Get out."
"Fine, I will, but you need to talk to someone and feel better. You should talk to Katara, her mother was murdered too, you know. She understands what you're feeling better than I do, she's gone through it too, and she'll make you feel better, I know she will, she'll know exactly what to say." Ty Lee tried to give him a hug, but all she got for her effort was a rough shove away. As she watched, anger filled the Fire Lord's eyes, and Ty Lee suddenly understood that his hands had been shaking with rage.
"Katara?!" He was out of his chair now, pacing like a caged animal, "It's her fault! All of this is her fault!! She . . . SHE is the reason my Mom is dead!!"
"That's not fair-" Ty Lee stared in horror as the rant continued.
"It's her fault, she practically murdered my mother! She just didn't throw the killing blow." He knocked the unlit lamp from his night table, and then overturned his chair. Then he pressed his hands flat to the wall, panting, not from exertion, but the sheer strength of the emotions rocketing through his body.
"No she isn't!" Ty Lee argued back, but didn't step closer, she wasn't that brave, "I know you're desperately trying to find someone to blame. Katara, she hasn't done anything wrong! You know she hasn't! She didn't have her bending, and I would say, from what I have seen of her hand to hand, she did DAMN well against your flame throwing sister!"
"Shut up Ty Lee, you're just a circus freak, what do you know about loss? You're fucking starting to sound like Aang."
"Well!" Ty Lee tried not to feel to affronted and failed, "Aang is pretty smart for his age, and the monks he has been telling me about are the most enlightened and peaceful of all the nations, so sorry, but I think you just gave me a compliment!"
Zuko didn't reply, he didn't acknowledge her.
"Anyway!" she found herself continuing, she wasn't angry, just disappointed with him, "You better forgive her real quick, because Katara is a pretty girl, and smart, and powerful, and she doesn't need to be your emotional punching bag! I've known you for longer than anyone, Zuz, and I know how you think, but if you continue down this road, as I foresee it, you'll only end up sad and alone and mad at yourself!!"
With that, Ty Lee turned and marched from the room. She loved him dearly, and would be more than happy to support and help him, but he wasn't listening to reason. He was going to forget everything he had learned, ignore her advice (as usual), and insist on being stupid.
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"It's like he's sunk into a depression, times ten." Ty Lee related back to Katara as she trimmed her hair, she was the only one who he would talk to for any length of time, "He hasn't been eating, he hasn't been sleeping, he hasn't been bathing. He has just been staring blankly out into the ocean."
Katara was insanely jealous of the acrobat. It wasn't fair, but to be expected. She was, after all, one of his childhood friends. She had known him for years and years, known Ursa as well.
"Do you think you could get him to see me?" Katara asked, cringing every time a crinkled lock of hair fell to the ground.
"I have been, I told him . . . I told him, 'You know, Katara's mother was murdered too, she understands what you're feeling better than any of us, you should talk to her, she'll make you feel better, I just know it."
"And?" Katara was surprised and ashamed at the unmasked desperation in her voice. Ty Lee put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, catching her eyes through the mirror.
"And I think you should leave him alone for a while."
"What? No! Why?!" Katara grabbed the acrobat's arm in a painful clinch.
"Ow! Katara! Look . . . he is angry, really angry. You should wait until he cools off."
"I've dealt with an angry Zuko before." Katara's death grip subsided and she turned back to the mirror. She didn't ask the air bender anything else about her boyfriend, and the air bender didn't volunteer anything else.
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The next day, after worrying herself into a tizzy of maternal concern, she and Toph tromped to Zuko's room and banged on the door. Looking back, she realized that it was probably all Toph's fault, she had talked her into it. They had been spending a lot of time together by default, and the tiny earth bender had advised her to confront her problem head on. That would not have been a problem in itself, Zuko took his responsibilities seriously, and wouldn't take offense at the reminder that no woman came before his obligations, not his girlfriend, not his hypothetical daughters, not even his mother. The problem was, Katara had been getting more and more frustrated with the cold shoulder she was given, and it was upsetting her more than it should have. Usually she was very understanding and self sacrificing, but this hit a nerve and she wasn't sure why.
So after said tromping and banging, she called through the metal, "Zuko, it's me, I need to talk to you. Let me in."
"The Lord has requested no visitors." The guard told her apologetically.
"Oh, like hell," Toph told him, "Sparky! You open up now or I'm sending Katara in after you!"
"Go away." The muffled shout was barely audible.
Ignoring his order, Katara grabbed the handle, when the doors proved to be locked, she kicked it hard.
"Master Benders, I'm afraid I'm going to have to escort you-"
"Oh can it, Eyebrow, you couldn't take us if you tried, and we all know it!" Toph laced her fingers and rotated her wrists, cracking all her knuckles before placing her hands on the double doors and concentrating. Katara heard a click and the portal swung open.
"Good luck, Sweetness." Toph had told her before turning her back, politely dissuading the guard from chasing after her. Rolling her eyes, Katara closed the door behind her and after a short hesitation, locked it.
The drapes were pulled, and closing the door had plunged her into almost complete darkness. Crossing her arms, she waited for her eyes to adjust. Zuko was watching her, she saw his gold eyes glint green like a cat's in the moonlight, and she walked over to him.
"Zuko . . . how are you feeling?" She sat down next to him on the bed, following his gaze out the window.
He didn't respond.
"I bet you're angry. You have every right to be. I'm really sorry, it's like, a part of you has died. Everything hurts, your muscles, your chest, your heart, everything, it's hard to move, it's hard to breathe . . ." Katara reached up to tuck some of his hair behind his ear, but he knocked her hand away.
"Don't."
"You feel like you'll never be happy again," Katara continued, looking down and pulling her knees to her chin, "It's . . . unbearable."
"So, what does it feel like?" Zuko's voice was dripping with venom, "You stole the last few hours she had on this earth from me! How could you, Katara?! I thought you loved me!"
Katara closed her eyes, the envy in his voice cutting through her. She considered explaining that it had just been coincidence, but she knew the explanation would fall on deaf ears.
"Well . . ." Katara could feel Ursa's charge affecting her even then, "She was kind but distant, she was at peace with herself. I got the impression that she knew what she was going to do . . . She must have told Iroh, that's why he was too upset to travel. 'A recent burn from an old flame is not as healed as I thought. It makes my chest ache, and I do not feel up to the voyage. I have a sinking feeling that it is contagious, and may soon ensnare us all . . .'" She recited it, they had both read and reread it enough times to commit it to memory.
"Contagious . . ." Zuko repeated, looking at his hands, the envy in his tone melting to disgust, "that's one word for it."
"Please talk to me? It's not healthy to lock yourself in your room." Again she tried to reach out, and again he knocked her hand away.
"Oh? And what would you know about what's good for me?! What did you do when you suddenly found yourself half an orphan?!"
"I helped Gran Gran with her work, I threw myself into helping my tribe!" Katara felt her temper spike and her face flush, it had been a low blow on the Fire Bender's part, "I grew up that day in a lot of ways! You sound like Sokka."
"Get out Katara, this is all your fault! Because of you, my mother is dead!" He had sprung up from where he sat, intent on getting as far from her as the room would spatially allow. It stung, it stung badly because part of her agreed with him. Part of her blamed herself, her cycle of vulnerability or not, Ursa had died on her watch.
"I wanted you to find your mother more than ANYTHING!!" Katara was angry by then, she knew he was speaking in anger, but he was a grown man, and that was no excuse, "I dropped everything to help you!! I rode across the Earth Kingdom! I learned a new technique! I interrogated your father! I did EVERYTHING I could!!"
"I know. You did, you did all those things." Zuko's voice had returned to calm, the placidity of one who knew they had won the argument, "But that doesn't mean that it's not your fault my mother is dead. Get out Katara, I don't even want to look at you."
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"It's not your fault!" Toph jumped up as the water bender stormed out and past her, "He is an idiot. He is deranged, he is mad with grief and doesn't know what he is saying. I should go in and knock some sense into him . . . Hey! Katara, where are you going?!" The taller girl was taking large fast steps, and Toph found herself joking to keep up.
It was the use of her name, not a nickname, more than anything else that made her turn and look at her younger friend.
"Where am I going?" Katara turned, knocking a tear from her traitorous eyes, "I'm going to Ba Sing Se."
"You're running away!?" Toph sounded scandalized.
"No." Katara turned and continued her incensed trek down the hallway, "He can't stand to be near me, but someone needs to talk him through his misery, so I am going to go get the only person in the world he WILL listen to."
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June sat in her room that the Fire Lord, or more accurately, his steward had provided her. She only planned to stay long enough for Nyla to recover, but the beds were so soft, and most of the guards so terrified of her, that she had found it a bit difficult to justify leaving. Anyways, The food was free, and it wasn't like the Fire Lord would actually notice or care about her presence.
Also, it was relatively safe in the castle, once she left, she felt sure she would be dragged before the high council to make some sort of statement. There was nothing they could do though, not without breaking their code. Ursa had taken care of Azula, like she was ordered to, it was just nobody had expected her to die in the process.
It had taken her several hours to track down the damn ostrich horse, and the prize for her effort, Ursa's saddlebags, sat on the desk.
Try as she might, the bounty hunter had not been able to bring herself to open it. The tall woman with the grey streaked hair and unfriendly disposition still too clear in her memory. It seemed, sacrilegious, like she was stealing something off of a dead body.
Still, she did want to have a look before she forked it over to the scarred boy. She would get in trouble if anyone found the note directing Ursa to eliminate her daughter. Technically, as the only other member on the scene, it was up to her to destroy all traces of their existence. June never really sweat the details though.
With a loud sigh, and a louder grunt, the bounty hunter stood and picked up the leather packs, unbuckled their fastenings, and dumped them out onto her bed. The comb, a picture of her children, and her change of cloths fell out, along with Ursa's dagger, and the letter. When she picked it up however, she realized that there were two pieces of paper folded together.
The first was the one from Ursa's superiors, it contained her orders, and June pocketed it guiltlessly. She would burn it later. The other was written in what had to have been Ursa's delicate hand, it had a 'snob school calligraphy' look to it.
Strangely enough, it was addressed to Zuko.
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Because chakras always look like metaphysical hoola hoops to me the way they move in a person's aura.
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I still don't know how I feel about Zuko. The situation is very unforgiving to OOCness. I tried to establish early on his cycle of blaming and being angry at people while he tries to cope. That's something he does in the series, usually taking it out on Iroh the anger he is feeling (but can't express) towards his father.
I tried to run with that pattern here. He is furious with Azula (understatement), but since she is presumed dead, he can't "vent to her" so to speak. I imagine such venting would involve strangling. So he is taking it out on the only other person who was really involve, Katara. (Also, he is insanely jealous of her time with his mother.) Unfortunately, Katara is not as strong and understanding as Iroh . . . I think she will be, though, when she is as old as him.
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Soooo, that's about all, I hope you liked it!! Brownie Points for anyone who can guess the final original character.
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Other than that, just R&R!!