DS
Disclaimer: No copyrights were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
Chibi Raito: Forgive our rude lateness. Swirl was being a zombie fanatic all month.
Me: I have recently discovered the magic of undead, rotting flesh. After a night of zombie films with my lovely assistant, the Muse of EZ-Cheez, I started on a possible fanfic rampage. I wrote six twenty-page long chapters in a week and a half.
Chibi L: Which is pretty depressing, considering the lack of attention one chapter a month gets.
Me: Shut up. I was excited. D: Plus, I got a new tablet as an early birthday present, so I'm entitled to waste some time. Nyeh.
Chibi Misa: Regardless of how much all of you should be hating us by now, here we are! Read, review, and relax.
D S 19
Raito was happy.
Raito was very happy.
Why was Raito happy?
He was going to be on location with his two worst enemies in about five minutes, learning everything about them. All of their tricks, quirks, habits…
Everything.
He'd discover what made them tick, and what would make them stop ticking forever.
Raito was on the road to invincibility, but a treacherous road it was. He would have to be on his best behavior. He could give neither A nor W any reason to believe that he was Kira. He would work on their case with them as an enthusiastic ally.
Raito exited the subway and headed for the largest, gaudiest skyscraper he saw. When Aiber said 'You'll know it when you see it,' Raito knew exactly what he was looking for.
World-renowned detectives and their penthouse-suites-slash-secret-headquarters…
It wasn't the most creative secret base in the world, and yet it was. Raito never would have pinned A and W as obvious people. He assumed that the world's prime detectives would prefer an underground, nuke-proof haunt from which to rid the world of Kira. Then again, he never expected A and W to ask a suspect to go Kira-hunting with them, either…
Strange, strange people.
"Hmm… quaint little place, isn't it?" hummed Ryuzaki as he stared upward into the mirror-like wall of windows.
"Kinda' makes me want to find the central support beam and blow it to smithereens. You know, just to watch it fall over in sparkly slow-mo," said Matt.
Ah, yes.
The peanut gallery.
Naturally, Raito had to bring them along. Raito thought at first that he would need to leave his ex-mini-death pal at home, but Aiber surprised him by inviting Ryuzaki to their little tea-party as well. The damage had been done, quoth the blonde man, and so there was no hiding his identity from 'Ryuga Hideki.' The best course of action was to involve him in the Kira case.
Really, now?
Raito knew that Aiber and Wedy had ulterior motives, and yet he knew not what those motives were.
Perhaps they hoped to disprove the existence of a 'Ryuga Hideki' in To-Oh University.
This was a problem.
Raito initially planned to hack into the school's database and add Ryuzaki to the roster. None of the teachers knew him, though. If A and W ever conducted a dainty, discreet, 'Is Ryuga Hideki a good student' survey, each of the professors would give them odd looks.
Raito informed Ryuzaki of this.
Naturally, Ryuzaki was very cool about it. He had a plan, though he would not disclose to Raito the details of this plan, and he was absolutely sure it would work.
Raito trusted him, perhaps foolishly.
He had a funny feeling that Ryuzaki's lack of records, address, and legal citizenship would become the topic of the day, but Ryuzaki would handle it. If he didn't, there was no blood on Raito's hands. Raito didn't know anything about Ryuzaki's lack of credentials.
He was an innocent bystander.
On the other hand, if A and W decided that Ryuzaki was dangerous…
…They could have him arrested.
Deported.
Raito sincerely hoped that this was not the case.
If A and W decided to use Ryuzaki's unknown past against him, Raito would defend him. Besides, the ex-mini-death had done nothing wrong. If he'd been to prison, there would be a record of it. For all A and W knew, Ryuzaki was a passive, peaceful person.
But Raito would not allow the possibility to spoil his mood.
He marched confidently into the building, Ryuzaki at his side and Matt on his tail. He rode the elevator as high as it would go and stepped out onto a pristine marble floor. In front of him were a small foyer and a frighteningly ominous door.
"Great," whistled Matt. "Steel door, metal detector, dim lights… All they need is a welcome mat."
Raito paid no attention. Instead, he focused on the camera lens swiveling around to face him.
"Yagami-kun, Ryuga-kun, welcome," greeted a squeaky, scratchy, mechanically remixed voice.
Raito inclined his head in acknowledgement. "What do we do to get in?"
"I'm afraid you'll have to send your jacket through the metal detector along with your shoes, any electronics, belts, et cetera."
Raito smiled disarmingly. "It's like airport security all over again."
"Yes," the mechanical voice chuckled. "You must understand, we are running an immensely important operation. Security is our top priority."
"I understand," Raito sighed. He slipped his jacket off and set his cell phone, his belt, his watch, and his shoes on the conveyer belt. Ryuzaki followed suit. The metal door slid open with a pleasant 'ding,' revealing a small room that ended in another heavy door.
"Please step through," said the voice.
Raito complied. When it was Ryuzaki's turn, he yawned and walked into the little room with Raito.
Matt scouted the room behind the second door. "Well, they've got to be paying heavenly power bills. They've got televisions and computers and office-chairs coming out the wazoo. It doesn't look like you guys have anything to be scared of, though. No guns, interrogation rooms, or anything like that. At least, none that I can see."
Ah, Raito was starting to like Matt more and more.
The first door closed and the second door opened. Matt certainly hadn't been lying about the electronics. The wall was covered in glowing screens, some tuned to news stations, others surfing the internet. Matsuda swiveled around in a shiny office chair and waved with an idiotic smile on his face.
Aiber appeared in front of the room's electric halo. He smiled apologetically and extended a hand to Raito as he waltzed into the room. "I apologize for any inconvenience our gratuitous security measures have caused you." He shook Raito's hand firmly before repeating the action with Ryuzaki.
"It's not a problem," dismissed Raito like the politician he was. "On the contrary, I should be thanking you for allowing Ryuga and me into your investigation."
"Yes, yes," chuckled the ever-diplomatic Aiber. "Your father has only good things to say about you, Yagami-kun. As for you, Ryuga-kun, I expect great things from Yagami-kun's fellow classmate. You must be very intelligent."
"Perhaps," said Ryuzaki.
The unnecessary greetings continued for another minute or so before Aiber cut to the chase. He led Raito and Ryuzaki aside with a pleasant, "Now, then. I suppose you two are wondering what sort of devious project I have in mind for you."
Raito chuckled, making light of the situation. "Oh, it can't be that bad."
Ryuzaki raised a disinterested eyebrow. "You're not asking us to kill Peter Parker, are you?"
Aiber barked a loud, genuine laugh. "Ryuga-kun, I envy your sense of humor. No, I'm not asking you to kill Peter Parker. Just… impersonate him for a while."
Now he had Raito's undivided attention. "You want us… to act like Kira?"
"In a way," Aiber nodded. "I need you two to compose a counter-video to the most recent Kira's public tirade."
Most recent Kira?
"You mean there's more than one?" Raito asked incredulously. Aiber and Wedy were very observant. They must've noticed Kira's sudden change in behavior.
"Of course," replied Aiber as if the second Kira's existence was common knowledge. "Surely you must've noticed. This Kira is much more brash and reckless than the original."
Raito's pride swelled a little.
"No, I noticed, but I didn't think it would be possible," Raito hummed, raising his hand to his chin and squinting in a convincing 'deep thought' impression.
"Yes," mused Ryuzaki, "It does seem awfully strange that a justice-loving creature such as Kira would stoop to murder innocent people."
A cold draft rolled through the room. Aiber's eyes narrowed slightly. Suddenly, his smile seemed much more out of place than before.
"Justice loving?" he asked in his usual, cheerful voice.
"Of course," replied Ryuzaki. "He kills only criminals, does he not?"
"This is true," admitted Aiber. "That is one of the reasons Wedy and I believe that there are two of them. Before this new Kira's public debut, only criminals died. Recently, Kira has murdered one of our FBI agents, Raye Penber."
Gevanni said something about Raye Penber's death. So X-Kira had gotten to him first, eh? Raito wondered why X-Kira would murder Raye in such an obvious way. Either he was stupid, or he was deliberately trying to frame Raito.
Aiber continued, raising an interested eyebrow at Kira. "You met Penber once, didn't you?"
"Yes," Raito nodded. He wasn't going to lie.
"Did you know that he was following you?"
"No," Raito denied. "After that bus jacking incident, he just said he didn't want anyone else to know he was there. I never told anyone."
"He reported that there was another man with you. Who was he?"
Oh, yeah. Teru was there, too.
…Oh.
Oh, YES!
This was perfect! Teru Mikami was Raito's boyfriend. Teru was also an Anti-Kira. Teru had a death note hidden somewhere in his room.
Evidence.
Irrefutable evidence.
Raito conjured his alibi. Firstly, his boyfriend was terribly possessive. Secondly, Teru had a death note, which allowed him to give people heart attacks. Thirdly, he suspected that Penber had been chasing him. Therefore, he used his death note to kill Raye Penber, saving himself and his dearest beloved from personal harm. He wanted to keep himself from suspicion, so he allowed a gratuitous amount of time to pass before finishing the job.
Bohahahaha! said Raito's mind.
"Yes," Raito responded thoughtfully to Aiber's inquiry. "He was…" and then, Raito cast a sideward glance into the rest of the investigation headquarters. "He was my boyfriend."
"Hmm… yes. Your father told me as much," replied Aiber.
"Well then, why did you ask?" asked the brunette with a twitching smile.
"Oh, just wondering whether you'd tell the truth or not."
"A test."
"Just a little one. Little itty-bitty test," grinned Aiber. When Raito's not-glare refused to dissipate, the blonde man threw his hands up in the air and wiggled his fingers in an impression of falling confetti. "You passed!"
Raito snorted and shook his head. He was surrounded by clowns. Much more of this and he was going to grow a red nose and a rainbow afro.
"I hope you'll forgive me for doubting your honesty," Aiber's grin shortened to an apologetic smile. "You see, it isn't easy to gain my trust."
"I never would have guessed," remarked Raito, half-earnestly.
"Yes," mused Aiber, "and it is even more difficult to gain Wedy's trust. As you know, she's very suspicious of you, Raito."
"How about me?" Ryuzaki asked childishly with a thumb in his teeth.
"You, too."
"How depressing," sighed the ex-mini-death.
"Especially since you don't exist," continued Aiber.
Oh boy.
Here we go. The credential tirade that Raito expected was finally bubbling to the surface. Raito had nothing to say about Ryuzaki, however. He expected the ex-mini-death to live up to his promise. Instead of making any remarks on the matter, Raito simply turned around and gave Ryuzaki his best 'WHAT?' stare.
"Ah, yes," Ryuzaki replied calmly. "I expected you to find out sooner or later."
"Yagami-kun's father told me all about you. You say you are enrolled in Yagami-kun's university?"
"No," replied Ryuzaki with his classic, subdued, uncaring face. "I merely said I had a few classes with him. One does not need to enroll in a university to sneak onto the campus and climb through an open window, you know."
Aiber and Raito both quirked eyebrows at him.
Hm. He wasn't admitting his lies, just informing Aiber that he hadn't told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Interesting strategy. A and W would give him less credibility, but he avoided the sharp punishment that came with deceit. Perhaps Aiber would recognize Ryuzaki as a clever ally.
"What about your meeting with the old professor?"
"If Yagami-san retold my story correctly, you would have noticed that he offered to pay my college tuition. You must also notice that he was retired, and therefore no longer affiliated with his institution. I simply refused his offer, which had a low chance of success. I told Raito-kun's father that I attended the college for a while, not that I was enrolled there."
Ryuzaki's defense was perfect.
Raito was impressed.
"And no one ever noticed that you were sneaking into Yagami-kun's classes?" Aiber inquired with a darkly thoughtful look in his eyes.
"Of course not. I have a knack for sneaking around. I simply snuck in if I could, while the professor was occupied, and hid myself beneath Raito-kun's table. He always sits in a corner, so it's quite easy."
"And when class was over?"
"The students all stood up and chattered amongst themselves," shrugged Ryuzaki, "It's terribly easy to sneak out behind a wall of talkative people, you know."
"Yagami-kun, is this true?" Aiber asked with a quirked eyebrow and an impressed smile.
"Yes, actually," Raito admitted with a not-bashful inclination of the head. "But… what did you mean when you said he didn't exist?"
"Just that," remarked Aiber. "According to both Liverpool and the metropolis of Tokyo, no one matching his description exists." He turned slyly to Ryuzaki. "Hideki Ryuga isn't your real name, is it?"
"As far as I'm concerned, it is," huffed Ryuzaki.
Aiber crossed his arms across his chest. "Explain."
"My parents never named me. Unless you count obscenities as names… In any case, I was born at home, I was hideous, and therefore my existence was never reported, illegal though that may be."
"Your mother and father had names, didn't they?"
"Marie and Francis Davenport," Ryuzaki replied effortlessly.
Raito wondered if such people existed, let alone owned a candy shop, both had blue eyes, and lived in Liverpool. Nevertheless, Ryuzaki was a thorough person. He and Matt both probably scoured the internet for information.
"Do you speak English?" grilled Aiber.
"Of course I do," answered the ex-mini-death in faultless English. His accent was even better than Raito's. He had thousands of years to perfect it, after all. Mumble, grumble…
Aiber nodded appraisingly. His eyes gained some of their humorous sparkle and he ran the sides of his fingers across the stubble on his chin. "You're very convincing, Mr. Davenport," he hummed in equally perfect English.
"Ah, but you are not convinced," observed Ryuzaki smartly. "It is difficult to gain your trust, remember?"
"You're quite right," admitted Aiber, slipping back into Japanese. "Does that offend you?"
"Oh no," dismissed Ryuzaki with a careless wave of the hand. "In fact, you have every reason to be suspicious. I am quite a strange person, after all."
Aiber's crooked smile broadened further and an appreciative gleam flickered in his eyes. "You're a very no-nonsense person, aren't you?"
"Yes," Ryuzaki replied.
"I have a feeling you'll get along with Wedy. Swimmingly," Aiber added.
"Speaking of whom," Raito interrupted, "where is she?"
"In the surveillance room, just beyond that hallway, there," Aiber pointed out, gesturing beyond the glowing screens. "Your father is also there, Yagami-kun."
Raito nodded in acknowledgement.
Ryuzaki took the reigns of the conversation once more. "Just what is it that you want Raito-kun and I to help you with?"
"I'm glad you asked." Aiber gestured to the room with one arm and flashed his ever-present smile. "Wedy and I will have to call a meeting."
--
Clearly, the whole thing was just a ploy to prove Raito's guilt. A and W wanted Kira and L to compose a counter-video to X-Kira's presentation. They wanted to lure X-Kira into a trap. While Raito and L brainstormed, the two detectives would undoubtedly be watching their actions like a pair of vultures.
Now, Raito was very intelligent, but L sincerely hoped his ego wouldn't make him too conspicuous. He didn't want Raito's video to be all sunshine, rainbows, and justice. He trusted the brunette to keep his pride in check, though.
"We want you two to tell the second Kira that you, the original Kira, are interested. You must lure him out into the open. I'm counting on you two to hook him," Aiber announced resolutely.
"And do it in a way that ensures public safety," Wedy sighed as if the meeting inconvenienced her somehow. "The last thing we need is a civilian casualty."
"Hmm…" mused L with a thumb to his lips. "As long as the equipment is provided for us, I agree to help you."
Aiber nodded appreciatively at him. Wedy arched an eyebrow and glared at Raito through her sunglasses.
"How about you, Kira?"
Raito gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. He crossed his arms across his chest, leaned back in his chair, and turned his head dismissively to the side as if he hadn't heard Wedy at all.
"Well?" Wedy pressed icily.
"Raito-kun, will you assist me?" L asked, knowing very well why Raito was throwing a Kira-tantrum.
"Of course," Raito smiled a smile that could melt steel.
Of course.
Raito refused to answer to 'Kira.' Well, L supposed it was more productive and creative than constantly insisting 'I'm not Kira.' In any case, Soichiro's gaggle of giggling goons, the silent CIA (who had morphed into the room sometime between five and seven minutes ago), and the detectives themselves got the drift. Wedy hummed thoughtfully to herself.
"Get to work, then."
Minutes later, Raito and L were composing monologues together beneath the watchful eyes of absolutely everyone. They had the CIA flanking them on one side and Halle and the Halle-ettes on the other. A and W had left the room, but they were undoubtedly observing the two geniuses from elsewhere with their damned audiovisual technosorcery.
Raito brainstormed about Kira's behavior, asking L questions on occasion. To their massive audience, it would appear that L was the most knowledgeable on the subject.
But Raito was in control.
He knew every answer to his inquiries. He was dancing around before A and W's cameras, giving them a good show. L followed along, of course, in the interest of feigning a good conversation.
"I personally believe that we should scold the second Kira for his actions. It would be befitting of a justice-fanatic to despise the deaths of innocent people," supplied L.
"That sounds about right, but I don't want to make him seem too goody-goody or too godly, even," grumbled Raito.
Oh yes I do, purred the gleam in the brunette's eye.
L murmured sagely, "Ah, but the world thinks of him as godly, and Kira has done nothing to change that."
"Kira thinks he's godly," mused Raito, "so if we're supposed to impersonate Kira, we have to put ourselves in his shoes…" He tapped his fingers against his chin and misted his eyes over in faux concentration. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. "We should imitate the second Kira's video, but in a much higher quality. That way, the second Kira can see the contrast and he has something to relate to."
And then, L noticed that Raito had killed someone. He snapped the fingers on his right hand as he 'got his idea.' He was probably trying to establish his finger-snapping as a habit…
Interesting.
L wondered who he killed, though.
In any case, L and Raito discussed the composition of the video, brainstorming about everything from the color in the background to the possibility of animated sparkles.
('Ryuga, that's preposterous.')
('I think it would be pretty.')
The dynamic duo composed a monologue and had Aiber record it into the mixer before animating their lovely, sparkly (Raito gave in, eventually), golden 'KIRA' video. L was personally satisfied with his work. By the end of the day, L was on the verge of spontaneous unconsciousness.
In other words, he was about to pass out.
Aiber thanked the two of them for their assistance before giving them the 'nothing leaves this room' talk. Raito and L both nodded tiredly and agreed to the investigation's strict confidentiality. Soichiro offered them a ride home, but Raito was the first to decline, assuring his father that he could make it home by himself.
As L was leaning against the side of the elevator, Matt popped out of the wall.
"Howdy."
Raito raised an eyebrow at him.
The elevator was probably bugged, so neither the brunette nor L said anything to the expectant mini-death. L suspected that Matt had been doing reconnaissance work around the headquarters. Once they were out onto the street, Matt made himself known again.
"Hey! We're out of sight again. It's okay to talk to me."
Raito said nothing. Instead, he addressed L. His eyebrows rose skeptically and his eyes gleamed in a warning matter. L caught his drift.
Don't say anything stupid.
"So, what do you think of Aiber?" the brunette asked, innocently enough.
Ah. He suspected that the items they sent through the metal detector had been bugged. As L shrugged and sighed, "He is quite the interesting character," Raito discreetly swiped his hand across his neck and mouthed 'bugs' to Matt.
"Wha- Oh. Ohhhh. Okay. Just say 'I wish I had a piece of cake,' when you want to hear me talk. I'll just tell you about the stuff I found," Matt grumbled.
"And Wedy?" asked Raito, not skipping a beat.
"Oh, she'll come around. No one can resist your charm, Raito-kun," sighed L.
"No, I'm worried about you. I just… I hate it when she calls me 'Kira.' I just hope she doesn't do the same to you. None of this is your fault, Ryuga. I'm sorry for getting you caught up in all this…"
"Nonsense! None of this is your fault, either, Raito-kun. You are simply a suspect. If anyone is at fault, it is the detectives. They can't prove the innocent guilty, you know."
"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Raito sighed dejectedly.
L was about to make a useful remark about cake when Raito continued their charade.
"When Aiber mentioned your lack of citizenship, I was… actually scared that he'd deport you."
The tone of Raito's voice wasn't right. L noticed the slight change and blinked over at the brunette. Raito was gazing into his eyes with an unusual intensity. He pressed his lips into a tight, flat frown.
…So Raito was truly worried about him. An inappropriate surge of happiness swelled in L's heart. Raito was honestly afraid of losing him.
"Oh, Raito-kun," L chuckled, "You needn't worry about me. If they do deport me, I will send you letters and e-mails by the thousands. I'll even kidnap you if you wish."
Raito laughed heartily and glared at him simultaneously.
Not in front of the bugs.
L winked at him.
Before Raito could make an ambiguous complaint, L changed the subject. "On a lighter note, I wish I had a piece of cake."
Matt sprang into action.
"Okay, so there's a special surveillance room in the investigation headquarters, other than the one you guys were debating in. Raito's dad, that Aiber guy, and 'Wendy without the N' were all packed in there, watching you guys argue. Daddy wasn't too happy with A and W for suspecting you both, Raito especially, so he's working pretty hard to clear your name. In any case, those two detective bozos are planning to tell you all about that room tomorrow, just to see how you'll react."
Well, well.
Still, that was not a lot of information for a mini-death who had been hovering around an investigation headquarters for the duration of the day. At the very least, he could've gone snooping through some case files. L wanted to ask him if he did anything other than sit around and watch Aiber and Wedy bicker all day.
Now was not the time, however.
Speaking of now, Raito had been filling in the silence with scathing remarks about L's cake addiction. L made a show of rolling his eyes and complaining about Raito's lack of compassion.
Suddenly, a cell phone rang.
Raito narrowed his eyes skeptically and reached into his pocket. He flipped the screen up and glared. Visually, Raito sulked.
Audibly, Raito sparkled.
"Pardon me for a second. Teru's calling me."
"There is nothing like love to ruin a perfectly good argument," growled L.
Raito half-smiled at him. L recognized this as an apologetic gesture.
Please forgive me, but I have to cheat on you for a second. I hope you'll understand.
L rolled his eyes dismissively and allowed his puckish boyfriend to answer a call from another boyfriend. He could've been in a soap opera. Really.
"Teru, how are you?" Raito purred into the phone with enough passionate sweetness to give the nearest bystander a sugar-high. A pause. "Oh, that's good." Pause. "Me? Well, I've been really busy today, sorry. I had to turn my phone off, so that's why I missed your calls." Pause. "How many?" Sigh. "I'm sorry. When I turned my phone on, I didn't notice all the messages. I'm just tired, I guess. Why would you leave that many, anyway?"
L sighed and turned to Matt for entertainment. The brunette mini-death was currently hovering behind Raito, mimicking everything he did. L had to hold his breath to keep from laughing.
"I'm sorry," Raito sighed animatedly and ran a hand through his hair. "Like I said, I was busy. I… might be busy for a while. Do you think you can entertain yourself without me?" Pause. A laugh. "Will it really be that difficult? I think I'm a boring person." Pause. "You're lying." Another pause, longer than the others. Raito glanced at L. "Tonight?" he asked skeptically, his honey-brown eyes never leaving L's. "Isn't it late?" Pause. "Well, I'm hanging out with Ryuga right now." Pause. Raito flashed the phone an icy smile. "It's too late at night. My dad won't let me."
Oh my. L smelled an argument.
A delicious, spicy, juicy argument.
Yes.
In spite of the fire growing in his eyes, Raito kept his voice calm and level. "I'm tired, Teru. I've had a long day." A long pause. "Your house? Teru, I'm sorry, but I don't want to run away from home tonight. I just want to go home and sleep, okay?" A longer pause and a fantastic roll of the eyes. "No. It's not you. I'll call you tomorrow morning if I'm not busy. If I am, I'll call you after I'm done being busy." Pause. "It's a family matter. Something came up." Pause. Raito blew a puff of air at his bangs and glared pointedly at L. "My dad had a heart attack, okay?" he deadpanned.
L and Matt both raised their eyebrows.
"He's fine," Raito grumbled. "Yeah." Pause. "I'll talk to you later. Bye." Raito snapped the phone shut and stuck it in his coat pocket.
"You lied," L observed.
Raito sighed and closed his eyes, "It worked. He left me alone."
"Are you angry?" L asked with a devious gleam in his eye.
"No," Raito replied with an equally conspiratorial sparkle.
"Pity," sighed L. "I do love an argument."
Raito rolled his eyes.
The subway ride was uneventful, as L didn't have many conversations to start with A and W as an audience. Once Raito got home, he waved tiredly at his mother and retired to his room. Naturally, L followed.
Raito took his jacket off and started swearing at it.
Apparently, now was a ripe time to discover the bugs A and W had placed on it. L responded enthusiastically to Raito's theatrical rage, inspecting his belt and his shoes for suspicious electronic devices. There weren't any on either his belt or his shoes.
So A and W bugged Raito only.
Hmmm.
Well, L wasn't particularly alarmed. After all, there were no conveniently bug-able areas on his scanned accessories. He would've found a bug on his belt as soon as he put it on, and a bug on his shoe would've transmitted nothing but 'tap, tap, tap.' A and W probably would have surrounded him with bugs if he had a jacket like Raito's.
"So you didn't get bugged, huh?" Raito grumbled.
"No," L confirmed.
"They're not giving up, are they?" Raito growled like the dark, dramatic Kira he was.
"They caught you talking to your boyfriend, Raito-kun," L nibbled on his thumb. "Quite embarrassing, if I do say so myself."
Raito made a show of sighing and tapping his fingers against his bedspread. "It's… nothing Aiber doesn't already know. It's fine."
And then, Matt got a wacky idea.
"Why don't you guys talk to 'em?" he grinned maniacally and rung his hands like a Disney villain.
Raito raised a silent eyebrow at him.
"Do it," commanded Matt, "I dare you."
Well, L had nothing else to do and speaking with A and W would do him no harm. After all, it was a perfectly adolescent thing to do, was it not? Quite fitting for a couple of college students.
L snatched Raito's jacket. "Hello, Yagami-san, Aiber-san, Wedy-dono. I do enjoy speaking with you, but on a more… conventional basis. Raito-kun and I enjoy a good, intellectual conversation. Perhaps you could have supplied his jacket with a cellular phone instead? In any case, Raito-kun and I wish you all the fondest of good nights. We accept your sincere apologies as well. You are all forgiven."
Matt snickered uncontrollably and Raito gave L the 'you overdramatic bastard' stare. To enforce his point, Raito growled, "Ryuga, you're overdoing it."
"Please wish our dear friends a good night, Raito-kun," L suggested diplomatically.
Raito snorted at him and shook his head. Nevertheless, he gave in. "Goodnight, I guess."
"Ah, yes. I'm afraid you won't be getting any more emotion than that. I am terribly sorry. I eagerly await your forgiveness for Raito-kun's attitude the next time we meet. I also wish to be forgiven for destroying your hardware. You must understand. Goodbye."
With that, L squashed the bug underfoot with a sickening crunch and tossed it out the window.
Raito sat peculiarly on the bed and blinked rapidly at L with his arms crossed across his chest.
"Overkill."
L nodded sagely. "Do you have any more bugs on you? I dislike eavesdropping."
"No more bugs," growled Raito.
L smiled.
--
Matt retired to the closet, where he proceeded to kill things repeatedly on his PSP. Every once in a while, he would alert the two humans on the bed that he was still alive.
"LEEEE-ROYYY JENKINS!" whooped Matt.
Raito eagerly awaited the end of his half hour. After Matt's time was up, he'd have to grumble out fifty words worth of relevant Mello information. Granted, fifty words wasn't much, but if Matt's technophilia was anything to go by, he would be splurging often.
While Matt was slaying dragons, Raito occupied his free time by criminal-busting. Despite A and W's dislike for Kira's killing, they still allowed criminal faces on the news. This was probably an effort to keep Kira from focusing his divine rage on helpless civilians.
Too late.
Veni, vidi, vici.
Raito had killed civilians, and killing criminals was still like eating popcorn. He had his reasons, of course. It was A and W's fault for driving Raito to such drastic measures. After all, their deaths served to further Kira's divine cause. He martyred them. They died honorably.
Kira's day had drained most of his energy, so he only snapped once or twice before leaning back on his pillows and sighing at the ceiling. He could relax for the night. Perhaps he could relax every night. A and W's headquarters had inspired Raito's creative side. He could establish his snapping as a habit, and then he could kill criminals at his leisure, in full view of his skeptics. He would simply have to memorize the names of his targets the night before.
Ah, Raito. What a genius…
A sleepy, irritated genius.
Ryuzaki returned to the bedroom and three slices of chocolate cake magically appeared on the bedspread. Ryuzaki followed them, plummeting onto the bed like a clinically depressed cinderblock. He then placed each piece into his mouth, where it magically disappeared.
"Cake, Raito-kun?" Ryuzaki asked with a quirk of the eyebrow.
Raito noticed with only a drop of surprise that there was no cake left.
"There isn't any, Ryuzaki," Raito sighed and shut his eyes.
"Yes there is," insisted Ryuzaki. "Look, Raito-kun, here."
Raito glared through his eyelashes as Ryuzaki blinked his dinner plate eyes and pointed with a long, bony finger at the corner of his lips.
Crumbs.
Cake crumbs.
Raito instantly turned his head the other way and snorted. "Ryuzaki, that's disgusting."
There was an audible slump in the ex-mini-death's voice. Raito could practically see his shoulders falling and his arms crossing irately across his chest. Nevertheless, he kept his words whimsical and aloof as he usually did.
"Oh, Raito-kun. What must I do to get you to kiss me?"
Raito smirked casually at the wall.
"Hmm…" Ryuzaki hummed sagely, "What does Raito-kun find irresistible? Perhaps if I taped a mirror to my forehead…"
"Ouch," Raito sneered in spite of himself and turned toward his adversary. "I think I'm going to need some ice for that burn, Ryuzaki."
"Hm," sighed the ex-mini-death. He then raised both of his invisible eyebrows and glared dismissively down his nose at Raito. The small, brown cake crumbs still clung to the corners of his lips.
"Well, you may think this is gross, Raito-kun, but it will only get more repulsive until you remove it for me," announced Ryuzaki.
Raito raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "You want me to kiss you just because I'll be disgusted with you otherwise?"
"By hook or by crook, Raito-kun."
Raito rolled his eyes.
Being coy obviously wasn't going to work.
So, Raito took the obvious course of action.
After all, there was nothing so surprising to Ryuzaki as actually doing what he wanted.
The brunette raised his eyebrows defiantly and leaned closer to Ryuzaki. Without any warning whatsoever, he pressed his lips to the corner of the ex-mini-death's mouth.
Ryuzaki froze.
Raito smirked deliciously and dragged his tongue across the crumbs.
The ex-mini-death whined out a pathetic half-growl behind his gritted teeth.
Raito's tongue darted back between his lips and he rocked back, eyeing Ryuzaki with the same defiant stare. Panda Eyes blinked back at him in response, any former repose gone completely from his face. Obviously, he'd never been kissed before.
Well, not by anyone as dashing and perfect as Raito, anyway.
The ex-mini-death's jaw dropped a centimeter or two as if he were trying to remember how to speak.
"Oh," was what he said.
Raito smirked coolly to himself and relaxed on his back. Score one, Raito Yagami.
Raito watched from the corner of his eye as Ryuzaki stared listlessly at nothing in particular, blinked, turned his head blindly to the side, and sat awhile in thought. A strange reaction, Raito thought.
Suddenly, Ryuzaki spoke.
"That wasn't a kiss, I don't think."
Raito hiked his eyebrow into his hairline. "Oh really?" He frowned dismissively as Ryuzaki turned his dinner plate eyes to look at him.
"Yes," mused the ex-mini-death, regaining his composure. "Actually, I believe you were trying to suck my soul out of my body." He tilted his head at the brunette. "Were you, Raito-kun?"
"Am I a succubus, Ryuzaki?" Raito asked with demure sarcasm.
"Yes," said Ryuzaki.
"Well, since you're so sure," the brunette sneered deviously.
Kira's roomie narrowed his ringed eyes in comical suspicion and ran his thumb across his bottom lip. "I knew it," he mused.
And suddenly…
"You guys are weird."
Raito glanced slyly over to the closet, where Matt google-eyed them both.
"Maybe," said Raito.
"Yes," replied Ryuzaki.
Raito cut to the chase. "So, Matt, you've been playing those games for half an hour. That's fifty words."
Matt hummed sagely to himself and scratched his chin like Sherlock Holmes. As if to complete the impersonation, he grabbed a pen from Raito's desk, stuck it between his lips, and smoked it. "But of course, my dear Watson," he sighed in his best British accent. He then scowled and tapped his forehead with the tip of his pen. "Or was it 'Elementary, dear Watson?'" Matt shrugged and stuck the pen back in his mouth. "Either way, they both have seven syllables."
Raito didn't show his amusement.
Matt wiggled his eyebrows. "You want me to talk, hmm?"
"That would be nice," Raito hinted darkly.
"About Mello."
"Yeah."
"Mello, Mello, Mello," Matt hummed thoughtfully to himself and tapped rhythmically at his scull with the pen. "Fifty words about Mello. Where do I start…"
"Preferably with something relevant," suggested Raito.
"Ah, relevant. In that case, here I go. You can stop me anytime you want, but I'm not saying more than fifty words. If you don't like what I said, tough shit. You'll just have to try again in another thirty minutes."
"Shoot," grinned Raito.
"Awright, here we go." Matt took a deep breath. Obviously, he'd been reciting his little speech. Probably making sure it was no more than fifty words long. The bastard.
"I met him back in California. I was… a human once, L knows that. Anyway, I was gay and everybody back then was afraid of AIDS, so people hated me. I was good with a gun, Mello liked my style, unlike you guys, and he let me into his gang."
Matt clapped his hands cutely and sent the pen careening to the other side of the room. "The end!"
Raito's eyebrow twitched. "That was about you, not him."
"Oh, contraire," grinned Matt. "I let you know that he lived in California once, I gave you a vague timeframe, and I told you that Mello had more fashion sense than both you and L put together."
Right.
"That," Matt added smartly, "and I told you that you could stop me at any time. I also said I wouldn't say more than fifty words. So, better luck next time, Kira-dono!"
Raito felt like slapping his palm to his forehead, but doing so would damage his suffering dignity. Instead, he played it cool. With a nonchalant smile, Raito sighed, "I suppose I'll have to be on guard next time."
"Damn straight," enforced Matt.
Raito sighed. Well, if nothing else, he knew a bit more about the devious enigma that was Matt the Mini-Death. For starters, he'd been alive once, and had been so in America. Judging by the 'back then' statement, Matt walked the earth quite a while ago (Seventies? Eighties?). So… he became human, then turned himself back into a mini-death.
…Could Ryuzaki do that?
Raito glanced queerly at his coon-eyed companion, and then back at Matt. Urgently, he inquired, "If you became human, how did you turn back into a psychopomp?"
"I died," shrugged Matt.
"How soon after you died?"
"I had to work at it. First, I had to escape from Hell, and then-"
Out.
Of.
The.
Question.
"Never mind," Raito interrupted with a dismissive wave of the hand.
Ryuzaki gave him an odd look.
Raito knew that look. It was much too inquisitive for his tastes, so he leapt into a pile of pointless banter and hid from it.
"I wonder when our video will air on the news."
Ryuzaki shot him a glare as cold, flat, and sharp as a pane of glass. "I wonder," he deadpanned.
Raito narrowed his eyes, raised his eyebrows, frowned, and shook his head just to show Ryuzaki how funny he thought his sarcasm was. Matt watched this exchange in bland disinterest before furtively retreating into the closet. Ryuzaki eyed Raito as if he wished to dig the brunette out of his foxhole of small-talk, but decided against it.
…Whatever.
Ryuzaki already knew Raito cared.
…But Raito still wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of an explanation. He didn't need to know the degree to which Raito cared.
The brunette turned his eyes to the news and his attention elsewhere.
So there was a way to turn Ryuzaki back into a mini-death, but it required DYING. Raito, even with his vast reservoir of post-life knowledge, wouldn't have people dying in his house. It was absurd.
He wouldn't have Ryuzaki dying in his house.
He wouldn't have Ryuzaki dying at all.
Even if Raito had to risk death, himself.
"You're an odd one, Raito-kun," Ryuzaki hummed. Quietly, he sat down beside his brunette companion and snaked an arm across his shoulder.
Raito leaned back and sighed.
"That makes two of us."
--
Chibi Misa: So, yeah.
Chibi Matt: We love you and stuff, even if Swirl is a procrastimaniac.
Chibi L: The Procrast-o-Matic 5000.
Chibi Misa: The Procrastinator 3: Rise of the Reviewers.
Chibi Raito: -refusing to take part in all this nonsensical rubbish-
Me: Um, yeah. So, I love you guys and stuff? For serious? –nervous grin-
Chibis: -throw stones-
Me: Anyhow, I'm not looking forward to school. What happened to the good ole' days when people used to like going back to school?
Chibi Raito: That was just you.
Me: Oh.
Chibi Misa: Likey? No-likey? I promise to make an appearance in the next chapter! Cheer for me! Cyber-goodies for reviewers. Cookies and cake and any other otherwise fattening food you can think of. All for you. Review, review, review!