So, I meant to update this yesterday but I just didn't get around to it, sorry guys. It's been really hectic doing three fics at once. Hope you're enjoying this story so far, reviewing lets me know you're reading and want updates! Love to you all my freaky little darlings.

This Is Who I Am

Chapter 5

"I'm going wherever you go," argued Vaan.

Balthier sighed, "Why can't you ever just do what I ask you to do?"

"You're sick, Balthier. Don't expect me to spend what little time we have left away from you!"

Balthier put his hands on Vaan's shoulders and forced him down onto his bed, "This is the only chance I have to live," he said, "Don't you want that?"

"Don't be stupid," said Vaan, "Of course I do."

"Then I need you to help Fran find the wishmonger."

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere without you!"

"Please don't act like this Vaan," pleaded Balthier, "Just do what I tell you to for once!"

"You're not my father Balthier," snapped Vaan, "You can't expect me to just jump at your every command!"

"I don't have time for this Vaan! This mission is VERY important; I have to get to the Pharos before Seraph leaves…"

"All you care about is chasing after your little ex-boyfriend," yelled Vaan, "You care about more than you care about us!"

Balthier's hand made hard contact with Vaan's cheek.

"I…I'm sorry…I," stammered Balthier, horrified.

Vaan didn't say anything. He turned to walk away, but Balthier grabbed his arm, "Vaan, I'm sorry. I…I don't even know what to say."

Vaan turned around, and Balthier saw that there were tears in his eyes, "Don't say anything. I'll go with Fran and Penelo if you want me to."

Balthier didn't know what to say.

Vaan folded his arms, "What if we don't find him? Then I'll probably never see you again."

Balthier pulled the boy into his arms, "You'll find him. I know you will, just…don't think about it. Either way you'll see me again…I promise."

Vaan buried his head in Balthier's neck and nodded, "I'll go…if that's what you want."

Balthier gripped him tighter, "I don't want to be without you, Vaan, don't think that. But I need you to do this for me."

Vaan nodded, "Ok."

He walked the boy outside, where the others were waiting for them.

"Are you ready?" asked Fran.

Vaan nodded.

"Don't worry Vaan," whispered Balthier, "Everything will be fine. You'll see."

He watched silently, and with a heavy heart as Vaan disappeared into the mist with Fran and Penelo to find the wishmonger.

Basch put a hand on his shoulder, "He'll be alright. Come on, we've got a long way to go."

He was right. It was a long way to the Pharos, and if Seraph…Garem…had indeed been healed by Dr. Cid then there was no guarantee that he would even still be there when they arrived.

"You really didn't know about Seraph?"

Balthier didn't look up from the maps he was studying when he asked her this, and Ashe wasn't sure if he was actually expecting an answer.

"I've told you before, he isn't Garem."

"My information came from the most reliable of sources, princess. He is Garem."

She studied his face for a moment, "My brother left ten years ago. I doubt I would recognize him if I were to see him, not that I'm agreeing with you. I still don't think that man is my brother."

Balthier sighed, "I just want you to know that his being your brother doesn't change anything. I'm still going to kill him."

"What happened between you two?" she asked, "Why do you hate him so much?"

Balthier didn't give her all the details, he didn't have the energy for it, but he attempted to explain the best that he could.

Ashe didn't say anything for a long time, "Do you think you'll be able to do it? Kill him, I mean…if you loved him," she said finally.

"I never loved him," snapped Balthier, "I loved a person who apparently never really existed. Seraph d' Astrae isn't even a real person. And I doubt anything he ever said to me was true anyway."

"You should have more patience with Vaan," she said suddenly, "This is hard for him too."

Balthier narrowed his eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She folded her arms across her chest, "I saw your argument earlier."

Balthier sighed and closed his eyes, "I didn't mean to hit him."

"That didn't stop you from doing it or him from being upset about it."

"I don't want to talk about it," he said, "I have too much on my mind already."

Neither of them said anything for a long time.

"Why did Garem leave?" Balthier asked finally.

"He was angry, angry that he would never hold the throne," she said, "One day he and our father had words, he left and never came back."

"He'll kill you if he gets half the chance," he said, "You know that right?"

She nodded, "I still don't understand what he is doing with Cid, or why they were headed to the Pharos."

"Neither do I," said Balthier, "But we'll find out soon enough."

To Be Continued…

Ok, hope you enjoyed but my brain is fried and that just didn't come out the way I had planned. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Review for more!