"Ronald Weasley! I have NOT got a thing for Malfoy!"

Ron took a step back. He'd expected her to get mad at him, but not so mad that she was using his first and last name. He was worried that she'd get mad enough to use his middle name, that could get very ugly. Stay calm, he thought before blurting out with,

"Yeah, well you can't lie to me. I've seen you looking at him."

"And just when have I been looking at him?"

"All the time. Like, in potions today."

"You dyed his eyebrows purple, everyone was looking at him. Hmmph, Ron. You can't honestly think that, can you?"

"Well, why won't you take house points off him?"

"This is what it's about, house points?" Maybe lecturing him would work. He usually left her alone when she did that. "You're gonna let house rivalry get in the way of doing the right thing? If I took house points off every time someone annoyed me, well, Griffindor would have no points left because of you. My privileges as head girl aren't to be mistreated. As Uncle Ben always says: With great power comes great responsibility. I was reading up on the current political climate in Zimbabwe, which you know-"

"He, he hasn't called you that dirty name recently!" Ron was floundering, he'd almost failed to stop her lecturing before she reached full momentum.

"It's Mudblood, Ron. And no, he hasn't. I like to think that some people have grown up, unlike certain redheads that I know. I'm pretty much numb to it, anyway." This was a lie, of course. But she wasn't going to reveal it. Ron was steadily becoming redder in the face.

"I knew it! You admitted it!"

"I did not!"

"You filthy little-"

"Ron, shut it. Now. Before I hex you."

"And he likes you back. Oh, I've seen him. Checking you out when you're not looking. Well, he won't steal you off me."

"Ron, I do NOT like Malfoy and, I am NOT your GIRLFRIEND." That did it, now she was mad.

"And now he'll try to get your attention somehow, maybe actually be nice to you. And you'll get married and live happily ever after. And it'll be the sort of thing a first year would dream up and write about in a secret journal that she secretly hoped someone would find." If Hermione hadn't been quite so furious at him, it would've been amusing. He had put on a sing song voice, wiggled his shoulders and clapped his hands together. She scowled at him, inwardly glad that Ginny wasn't around.

"Well, what if you're right and I do like Malfoy? And he likes me back and we get married and have a billion kids and they'll all look just like him? What would you do then?" She tried a different tact. He wasn't listening to her, anyway.

"Well, then I'd know that you'd completely done your banana!" He shuddered, then thought better of it and spat on the floor. Maybe he was listening after all. Fuelled by rage, she decided to do the most hurtful thing she could think of.

"Well, I think I'll do just that! Umm, not do a banana. The other thing. Maybe the first year will describe my eyes as being lipid pools of honey-coated chocolate!"

She turned and stomped away. Not caring where she went, as long as it was where Ron wasn't.

- - -

Oh dear, what has she done? Trust me, it's not going there.

Read, review, cook a rat over a fire.

The next chapter will be the last one. Honest.