HELLO EVERYONE! Much thanks to you all for your reviews and a special love goes out to Misty Hazes fans that came here because of her! Thank you for giving me a chance!

You all are amazing readers and I enjoy every bit of your reviews!

Ok so this one is a little more dramatic…we are now starting to delve into the nitty gritty of Jaspers past…Edwards a little more serious in this one but don't worry! He'll be very every bit as sassy in the next chapter which is going to contain some serious Seth action…LOL Just saying!

So like 3880538490230498402834% of my will to keep writing comes from Misty Haze my awesome and amazing friend! Couldn't do it without you girl! Hope you love it!

As always reviews are love!

Enjoy!

It wasn't that he was lying awake…but rather Edward was in the weird stage between consciousness and sleep that gave you peace when silence reigned and scared the shit out of you when the slightest noise was made.

The screech of an owl, the squeal of a car, the rumble of an overhead jet all would startle him out of the twilight of dreamland, with his heart racing and eyes frantic to find the noise… Even though he was a light sleeper and it was hard to get into a rem cycle, he had learned to ignore the now familiar noises that went on near his home. Edward was used to most of the disturbances around the apartment complex now which was most likely why the sound of Jaspers screams had not only made him jump up out of bed, but also shaved a few years off his life.

It didn't take him long to recognize that voice in pain.

Heart pounding and brain going into 'fight' mode he did what only seemed logical at the time. Throwing on his uggs he raced out the door and down the call to Jaspers shabby door. He heard the crashing around; the screaming…it was frightening. Jasper his sweet quiet Jasper was making noises he'd only ever heard in horror movies…It was as if something or someone was hurting him.

His brother Emmett had always talked about how when people he got calls for were in danger or their loved ones were about to be hurt, that they simply reacted in ways that later they had no idea how they were able to recall enough common sense to do the thing that needed to be done. That was the only way Edward could explain flying back to his apartment and returning with a credit card.

He had learned as a teenager who had better things to do than to be home at curfew, how to open a door using a credit card to get himself back into the quiet locked house. Now he had also locked himself out of his home more times than he could count so maneuvering the old locks was second nature to him now.

A few twists and a sharp full sent the latch clicking and the door creaking open.

Edward bustled through peering through the dim overhead light of the hallway into Jaspers abode.

"Jasper?" he called out his eyes adjusting to the dark interior. No answer.

Heart pounding Edward felt around for the switch near the door, knowing full well that if he tripped and fell that he would be no good to anyone. Fingers brushing over the knob in the wall he flicked it upwards and light flooded the foyer…

Though all the units in the complex were the same in makeup when he walked into the room it was as if the apartment belonged in some other side of town where flowers weren't planted in the summer and nothing could ever be sunny or beautiful. The place was the alter ego of his home. For a moment Edward could only stare in shock at the dull brown and grey walls, the sticky floor that sucked on his bare feet, the retched smell of filth and soured objects. Beer cans littered the floor, and newspapers piled in white heaps carpeted the floor surrounding a lone TV propped up on a crate. An arm chair, its stuffing falling out of the sides, facing the screen was all that gave the indication that a somewhat civilized human being resided there. But that was it. The whole room was void of anything that might have showed that this was Jaspers home. There were no pictures of family and friends, nothing soft or homey.

It was a dark dank space that gave Edward pause in the center of the room. He shivered, the feelings of loneliness and despair were what he felt painted these walls, sadness decorating the room and the smell of fear swirled around him. He rubbed his hands down his arms, willing himself to go further into the blackness.

This was to find Jasper. Jasper was hurt and in trouble.

Edward crept toward the room he knew was the bedroom, stopping when he saw the trail of wreckage in the hall. Two chairs lay broken in his path. But up ahead….

He could see an outline of something lying on the floor…

The light switch refused to work at first and he flicked it a few times before the dull pale light illuminated the tiny hallway.

Beyond the broken furniture, lying on the floor in a boneless heap was Jasper.

Without even thinking Edward rushed over to him, calling his name.

But the poor man, lying in a pool of vomit was turning restlessly on his side mumbling incoherently.

Edwards's stomach churned at the putrid smell and his heart thudded in his chest as he knelt on the floor next to him, watching as Jasper rolled his head around on his side, his hands clawing at the disgusting floor.

"Jasper?" Edward whispered softly hoping not to startle him but his voice made him cringe and he gasped in his daze, thrashing back and forth.

"No…no p-please don't die….I wouldn't I-I…." he pleaded with the phantoms in his nightmare, making Edward overcome his sickness to the smell of puke surrounding him. Carefully he knelt down reaching out to pull the long sweat soaked matter hair out of his eyes.

The moment his fingers brushed Jaspers skin, a large hand swept out and gripped his wrist in a white knuckle vice. Edward looked down in fear, but Jaspers eyes remained screwed shut his whole body trembling lips parted in a silent plea.

He was scared.

Big quiet Jasper was frightened, hurting and possibly sick.

So he did the only thing he knew how to do to calm someone down, the same thing his mother had always done for him when he was little and had a bad dream. Touch was so important to humans that just the simple presence of a kind hand could make a person feel better. That was always her motto.

"Hey," Edward cooed, " It's just me…Edward its ok. You're alright no one is going to hurt you."

It took a second of Jasper whimpering softly and him speaking to him as if he were a wild animal in pain, to get the grip to loosen (but never release) on his wrist, enough for him to reach down and tenderly stroke his hot cheek.

Jasper shivered and moaned at the touch, curling his head into Edwards cool palm like a kitten seeking attention.

And Edwards's heart broke.

If he didn't feel for this man before the sight of his little hand bringing relief to this wild creature was more than enough to feel his heart flood with concern and compassion for him. Ignoring the trail of saliva and bile leaking out of the corner of his mouth, Edward stroked the other side of Jaspers face, smoothing the curls back and gently assuring him that all would be ok. That Jasper would be ok because HE was here now and he wouldn't let anything harm him. That he wasn't going anywhere.

At an early age Jasper had learned to use his five senses to do more than see a smile, smell a rose, hear a bird sing, taste a candy bar and touch a soft bed. In fact his primal senses had been honed beyond their typical uses. Sight was used to detect a dark shadow as friend or foe, and when he was little he could always smell when daddy was too drunk to walk past for fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Listening to the sound of bullets at night made him aware of the worst places of violence. He knew when someone messed with his food in prison simply by the taste and it was easy to gage a man's strength when his fist connected with your jaw…

Each sense knew pain and deceit but they had served him well. After he was off the streets they were an even greater asset to his survival in prison and to this day he always woke up on high alert…stress kicking in.

But when Jasper was roused from sleep this time…instead of the rough sheets bunching around him he felt a soft material caressing his skin. His mouth wasn't stale and he could hear the soft shuffling noises of paper being flipped over in a book. The smells that greeted him were subtle…clean with a touch of cologne and cinnamon.

He knew that smell. It had been with him…haunting his memory for 4 nights after his trip to Edwards's house. Edward so distinctly smelled like cologne and cinnamon that when he had been walking past a bakery the next day his head had whipped around to see if the red haired beauty was in his path. Or when the man at the register at the grocery store, when he turned to get his change wafted the masculine smell of some kind of fragrance towards him, and it gave him goose bumps.

It still did.

As slowly he realized that if he opened his eyes that Edward would most likely be there Jasper felt shame wash over him as he thought of exactly what he had looked like when his neighbor had seen him…

The pain of the dream was still fresh and his stomach flooded with acid at the memory. He wasn't sure what hurt more: That he had lived parts of that dream or that Edward was sitting next to him at this moment. The knowledge that as horrible as that dream had been it wasn't just a dream...oh sure he would never have raped anyone but death clung to his hands no matter how much he washed them. That place in his dream had been very real to him for many years. What had been different was Edward.

How could he face him?

The knowing fear tore at his stomach that what if…what if he couldn't change? What if he lost his temper one day…hurt this man and again became the monster he had grown up as for so many years.

The gut wrenching fear made him groan and twist involuntarily opening his eyes.

He gasped softly at the sight of Edward sitting in a chair next to his bed.

The blue sweater gave his pale skin the appearance of porcelain, and his soft voice hummed as he flipped through a GQ magazine.

So beautiful.

But just like anything lovely Jasper knew all too well how easily beauty could be snubbed out.

Dare he even risk it?

Edwards green eyes flicked upwards saw that he was awake.

"Well hello there!" he smiled gently at him and moved closer, "How do you feel?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" He meant for his voice to sound mean and intimidating but either was too raspy for Edward just didn't care, because he waved his hand nonchalantly.

"Well you were sick…I couldn't just leave you!"

"Ya' fucking should have…" grumbled Jasper.

"Pish posh! You were lying on the floor puke every…"
"Yeah I know!" he rasped, "And you shoulda fucking left me there!"

"But I thought…"

"Don't think next time! Just leave me alone!" He turned and refused to look at Edward, frustration and anger at himself boiling over into his actions.

Now Edwards face started to frown, his eyes filled with confusion and hurt.

"I..I'm sorry Jasper…did you not want me to come?" There was a genuine wounded touch to his voice and Jasper closed his eyes in pain. This isn't right…he was making Edward suffer for his own insecurities. He was only trying to help and Jasper was being a grade A ass…

"I'm so sorry, I'll just go…ummm call me if you need anything I guess?"

Edward moved to get up but he shot his hand out toward him, sitting up in the bed.

"No…wait Edward…I'm sorry…Look I didn't mean to…" he rubbed his hands over his face, "Don't go…I'm sorry…I just that I don't like it when people mess with my space…"

Edward paused and waved his hand in front of him.

"Hey, its ok I get it I mean… it was kind of nosey for me to just barge in here…"

That reminded him.
"Yeah by the way how did you even get inside?" He remembered at least locking his door.

That comment brought a little smile to Edwards face and he stopped trying to move away for a second.

"Oh well if it's one thing I know how to do its how to swipe a credit card!"

At that he gave a bark of laughter imagining little innocent Edward knowing the oldest thug trick in the book.

"You would know how to open one them doors with a damn credit card…" The smile must have encouraged him to not leave because he moved closer to Jaspers bedside tentatively sitting down again in his chair.

They were silent for a few second, a little awkwardness setting in after all that had gone on. What was he supposed to say to him? On one hand Jasper wanted nothing more than for Edward to run back to his home, lock his doors and never set foot into his world ever again. It would be safe for him there…

But then there was this burning need to have him by his side. Like a man starved of food for too long he wanted to feast on the richest meal placed just within his grasp…But it would be like stealing, for if he did take a bite it would be without honesty at just who and what he was. It was selfish to want Edward.

But he had been starving for so long and over the past 2 weeks he had been allowed to smell the food nibble the edges and it had not calmed the need to eat but merely been a tease of the real banquet that awaited him.

For his entire life he had eaten Steakums and now he had the chance to taste a Prime Rib.

He didn't deserve it…and it probably wouldn't last but at least for now… if he asked maybe Edward would allow him to bask in his presence just for a moment. Just to give him enough to take back to the dark long years that awaited him. He would be gone before any damage was done.

But he had to be sure…he had to ask and make sure that if Edward wanted his friendship it would come with a lot more than a drunken sick night.

"Last night," Jasper began quietly his head down, "Ya' saw me…how I am. Ya' seen where I live and ya' know…what I am for the most part. I ain't never pretended to be anythin' but me and…I don't like it sometimes but you are…you're a good man to come and walkin my dirty shit hole and pick a practile stranger off the ground."

He chanced a glance at Edward and saw that he was listening intently, his pretty pink lips in a hard line.

"But…I like you Edward…I don't know a lot about ya but you showed me more kindness than…well I ain't had a nice face like yours to smile at me afore'. So I jest wanna say thanks for…carein' enough to come and help me…it means a lot to someone like me. If there is ever anythin I can do for ya'….Let me know."

Edwards green eyes looked glossy and he nodded his head and whispered, "Oh, Jasper…All I really want to be is your friend."

Now that really mystified him.

"Why the hell would you want that? I ain't got nothin' to give you back?"

"But that's not what friendship is about! You are a very nice person and….I'll be somewhat honest here… I am kind of intrigued by you Jasper."

At that Jasper felt warmth return to his chest. It pleased him that Edward thought he was interesting. He smiled and Edwards face broke out into his pretty lop sided grin that made him realize that his smile for some reason made Edwards face look like an angels.

He wanted him to smile like that always.

When he got up to use the bathroom later, Jasper noticed that his entire apartment had been cleaned and washed, the floors scrubbed and the garbage thrown away. When he asked Edward about it he just grinned and said that he had whistled and all of the forest creatures had come and helped him.

Leave it to Edward to be a living Snow White.

Later his neighbor fed him some homemade chicken soup which was the best fucking soup he had ever tasted while he sat and chatted about his Christmas shopping and such. Edwards's voice was so high and soft that it soon lulled him into twilight slumber…peaceful and serene.

Edward quietly gathered his things and looked down at the sleeping man. In dream land he looked so unlike the person who had been awake just a few hours ago.

His eyes weren't scrunched together and his lips were full and parted with the release of breath. The now clean golden hair that he had so painstakingly wiped free of bile then brush framed his pillow in a golden halo.

Definitely a dirty angel.

But his face was really the only thing left untouched Edward later uncovered. As he had washed away the vomit he of course just had to take off Jaspers shirt...

At first all he could see was the chiseled body lying on the bed, his chest beautifully toned. Jasper's body was tight and steely not overly muscled but more ripped. Like a jungle cat with a long lean physique that was made for skill and speed as well as strength.

But on closer examination Edward soon noticed the myriad of raised lines that spider webbed along his body. Thin and thick scars decorated the beautiful muscles marring their perfection and making him cringe at the thought of just how Jasper had gotten such wounds to begin with.

If it was one thing he had learned for certain these past few days is that Jasper was a lot more complex than just a slightly anti-social straight guy.

There was something that had hurt him to the point where it was as visible as the scars on his chest.

And here he was stuck in the middle of it asking himself if this was even worth what was to come…

This was something that was seeming to grow into a very big issue and Edward just knew that the more he stayed the more he would find out…and the more he might just fall for the man sleeping on the freshly cleaned blankets.

But was it completely insane to say that even though Jasper appeared to have more baggage than a gay man going to fashion week in New York that he still wanted to stay? That he wanted to know Jasper and give him more smiles and food and be the one who he would finally feel ok with touching? Even if no romance could ever be there was this strange desire that Edward was feeling to take away the pain and replace it with love.

So now he stood in the bleak but now clean bedroom watching his neighbor and now perhaps friend and object of his affections slip away into the safety of dream land.

Edward watched his chest rise and fall the sentiment of the situation over whelming him. He had a feeling that Jasper did not fall to sleep easily with others there.

He wanted the moment to be special…to take away the pain of previous sleeps and replace it with something beautiful.

And so before he left and without even thinking of the consequences…quietly Edward leaned down and brushed his lips softly, gingerly against the stubble of Jaspers cheek…

This time in his dreams…Jasper felt and angel kiss him...

To be continued….

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Maria/Philomina