Disclaimer: Bones is property of Fox.

Thanks for all your kind reviews. Don't say I didn't warn ya, it's gonna get angsty before things better.

Brennan

My whole life comes down to this. This has to be the longest three minutes of my life. The instructions on the home pregnancy test said that sometimes the results appear quicker than in three minutes. I can't wait. Somewhere along the way from when Angela dragged me out of the Jeffersonian to a pharmacy then back home I had rationalized that this is perhaps what I want.

I know this is what Booth wants, and I know I want Booth to be happy. I'm not sure if I'm fit to be a mother, or if I can do this on my own. Right now I don't know where my husband is or when he will be home, how can I do this? I also know I have no right, I cannot deny Booth this. He had always told me how he had missed out on the first couple of months of Parker's life because he was still trying to figure things out with Rebecca. He had wished that he would get a second chance. Maybe I can give him this? What am I thinking? I can't do this, not without Booth. I never wanted children.

Three minutes. I pick up the stick I had left on the edge of my bathtub.

"Bren? Everything ok?"

I hold the stick up. The results are as plain as day. I feel the sitng of tears in my eyes. I begin to cry.

"Bren? Everything ok sweetie? I'm coming in."

Angela barges in and the sight of me crying makes her wrap her arms round me.

"Oh sweetie, I know this is not what you wanted but imagine how happy - "

"I'm not pregnant."

The words I spit out are laced with bitterness and irony. For some reason, I wanted it to be positive.

"Oh…. I'm so sorry hun."

Angela holds me and she lets me cry on her shoulder. I cry for what might have been, for what Booth and I might have had, and I cry for how much I wish he was here, how much I miss him. He has always been my one constant.

When I finally control my tears and stop crying, Angela hands me a towel.

"You owe me. Look at my blouse!"

I manage a small smile. "I'm sorry Ange I don't know what came over me."

"I'm so happy for you sweetie."

"I don't understand."

"Don't you see? You never wanted any children, but now you're crying because you're not pregnant. Booth changed your mind didn't he? He's the one for you, but you already know that don't you."

I nod shyly. I remember Booth's speech about someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. I know he's my someone.

"Ange, I wish I had the chance to tell him."

"I'm sure he knows. I mean come on, you married him!" Angela hugs me again. "I'm so happy for you. When Booth gets back, you guys can talk about starting a family. The next time this happens and it turns out you're pregnant, at least we both know you're not gonna freak out."

My smile's wider now. Angela's right. I can't wait for Booth to be home, I can't wait to tell him.

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Booth

Six months. Six whole months since I've talked to Bones. Six months since our video conference, seven months since I kissed her and Parker goodbye. I thought I'd reached the end of my list. I could've punched the Major in the face when he handed me another list. Another list with three more names, three more targets. How long do they want me here? Maybe I should start to suck at my job, maybe let a few of my targets survive, maybe then I can go home. Home to my Bones. I write her when I can, but I don't know if my letters reach her.

Not a day goes by when my heart doesn't ache for her and my arms long to hold her. She must be feeling worse than I am. Stupid, stupid Seeley. How can I do this to her?

The helicopter I'm on starts to dip and rise erratically, jerking me out of my thoughts.

"Hang on!" The pilot yells back to us. "They're shooting at us."

I'm supposed to be on my way to my next mission. They were going to drop my spotter and me off at some ridge where a convoy carrying my next target is passing. It had been good to be back at camp and to be able to get a shower, shave, eat hot food and sleep in a real bunk. That was a good three days where I spent dreaming about my times working with Bones. Remembering how she felt under my fingertips, her soft skin, her warmth which enveloped me every time I was inside her. Her moans of pleasure, her breathing my name when I made her come. I remembered how she felt around me, beneath me, on top of me. I can't wait to be home, home to my wife, my Bones.

Again the chopper jerks me out of my reverie, I grab on for dear life. My spotter, Greg Malone, a young kid just drafted into the Army looks scared out his mind.

"It's gonna be ok kid."

Suddenly it feels like the chopper's been struck by a mack truck. We fly out of our seats.

"Mayday, mayday!" I hear our pilot's desperate cries.

This is it. We're going down. I know that things can't be good. People don't survive helicopter crashes, well most people don't. I can't die, not like this. I always thought that if I died in the line of duty it'll be if I took a bullet for Bones or something. Not in battle, not like this. I knew the risks when I came to Iraq but I never let my mind dwell no the fact that I might not make it back. It's a very real possibility now. Bones, I can't leave Bones. I promised her I'd be back!

The ground is rushing up to us at a terrifying speed. The chopper's spinning so wildly I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous. I brace my self for impact. I grit my teeth. Not like this, not like this. I know it's ridiculous but I will myself to survive this. For Parker, for Bones. I have to get home to them.

"Hang on!" I yell to Greg. I say a silent prayer for help.

I watch the dessert sand rush up to meet us, and then everything goes black.

TBC. Reviews are always welcome! If you prefer fluff go check out my other fic. It balances out the angst from this one lol!