Hello everyone! Long time no see! Talk….Write…. -_- Life has an unfortunate way of getting in the way of even my most inspirational moments and I am still reeling from the way school has obliterated my life and soul at this time. I am just…it's not been pretty! So I have to apologize 1) for those who I did not get to answer in reviews. I am so so so so so sorry! I PROMISE I will get to you all this time around and even answer the old ones! Your reviews mean so much to me and I couldn't do this without the love and support! 2) This is so not the best work I've done but it had to be written as a precursor… though when I stepped back I realized it needed a little something…special. This cute little outtake at the end is a part I hope you all enjoy!
Anyways I owe a huge debt of love and gratitude to Misty Haze for editing my mess and also putting up with my texts and crazy wacko talk about all sorts of odd ball things! You are the best girl! 3
But anyways happy reading all!
In all the movies Jasper had watched growing up there was usually some metaphorical crossroad that the main character came to. A questioning moment of right or wrong where they stood at the precipice of a decision that could lead them to glory or a deadly ending all by the simple scale of choice.
He was familiar with this way of choosing. Even in his darkest hour of crime, in the bowels of a cold prison where his soul seemed to sink into the stone walls, he knew of that defining moment of right and wrong.
He didn't always choose the right path…that was obvious…His life leading up to now had been a series of wrong roads and becoming more lost than any traveler should ever be...it was only recently that he had come to have a little bright beacon of light invade his darkness.
Most of the time, Jasper's crossroads had been simply in the conscious…but now they had literally taken on a physical form.
As it were, he now stood on the sidewalk at the end of a three way intersection. To his right was the way back home…his lighthouse, his Edward was calling him. To the left though lay a path that he had walked many times before since he had been young. At the end of that street in the alley behind Jenson's Corner Mart and the Shoe Warehouse was James. James who he was, sad to say that up until Edward had been the only person who he could ever really say he knew in life. Being James's right hand man since he was 15 had led to him completely understanding the man who had swooped in and taken over his life.
The thing the prosecutor could not understand when he had been accused was how Jasper, who would be facing 7 years, would not even accept the plea bargain from the DA. If he had turned state's evidence and had told tales and named names…if he had fucking ratted on the man who had given his life meaning, who shown him how to put shoes on his feet and food in his stomach no matter the price, then what kind of person would that have made him?
A traitor.
The worst offence a member of the Texas Suckers could have ever committed was to turn to Them and give away your comrades your buddies…your fucking leader to Those people. James had always been so careful in his teachings about conduct for his soldiers. He told the 30 members that they could trust no one but each other. The outsiders would take away their turf, their money and that the social order that they had come to create in Beeville Texas would be lost. Besides James had always assured them that the family would always be there for them if they did get caught. Always they would have a place to come and belong.
Such sweet words to a kid who had only ever wanted all that and more. Promises like the ones that came out of James mouth had been the reason he had shorn his blonde hair, and assumed the military crew cut, why he carried at least 2 guns and a knife on him at age 15, why he had fought to become the best of the best in James gang, and became his Major who handled everything from drug deals to discipline amongst the soldiers.
For the sake of a soul, he had given up one.
It was this promise that made him keep his mouth shut on that court stand and take the complete heat for the drug deals and the unsolved disappearances. He didn't care! Here Jasper was taking a hit for the team, becoming a martyr amongst the Suckers, and this alone would grant him everything that he had always wanted. He would have something…be somebody.
But oh how that idea had changed and how empty the promise became when Jasper pulled on that orange jumper and heard the iron door slam.
He had been hungry before, without a roof over his head, his feet bruised and bleeding because he had grown out of the only pair of shoes he had. Jasper had stolen, lied and cheated, had stowed a revolver in his waistband itching to heat and smoke as a dead man walked toward him. He had been guilty with blood on his hands.
But nothing…nothing could have equaled the long nights in the cell. The humiliation that nakedness could bring, the cries of the innocent, the spirits broken, the bleak smell of despair and the empty eyes that seemed to follow him no matter where he went. He became nobody.
That was what could await him down that right turn. If he got away with it again…he could be fed, he could have something that was familiar and comforting in its purpose.
Crime, once tried on, was such an easy glove to slip into.
Jasper felt the pull, he could feel himself turning towards the right…he could see the 2 buildings…he was steps away from survival.
After all…what did he have to lose? He was older this time…smarter, stronger…he wouldn't get caught this time…
Indeed what was there to lose?
A step.
The scrap of his boots against the sidewalk.
His hair wiped to the side. His face became solid, his shoulders squared. His heart beat was loud. His mouth was dry.
He had everything to gain and nothing to lose, right?
Right?
"Jasper!"
The angel called.
To his left.
Across the street his name was being called. Whipping his head around Jasper turned to look in the opposite direction he was headed.
There through the people and the cars…at the other end of the busy road stood a red haired figure in a grey coat, arms over flowing with packages the ever present warm smile creasing his lips waited at him shaking side to side and up and down in excitement.
"Jasper! Wait up!" Edward called to him jay walking through the crosswalk.
All thoughts of the other way flew out of his mind.
The right was forgotten and evil and memories ceased to exist for that moment.
Because Edward had spoken his name, had called out for him.
Because Edwards's warmth clothed him, his laughter fed him, and if he could make him smile was more power than anything he could have gotten from James.
Simply he turned because Edward had said his name.
He was beside him now his face all joy the cool Christmas air making his cheeks rosy, snowflakes sticking to his floppy bangs. The gray pea coat and the jaunty red scarf made his eyes look like grass during the springtime. Up close Jasper could see he was carrying bags of wrapping paper and ribbons 2 in each hand. He was the picture of holiday perfect.
"Fancy seeing you out and about!" They moved to the side of a building and Edward put the bags down, "What brings you out here?"
A ball of sick guilt slammed into his stomach and he turned his eyes to the side trying to not let the emotions run across his face. Close….he had come so close to giving in. If Edward hadn't come at that exact second…he wouldn't be shooting the breeze with him now. He would be…with James…
"N-Nothin'." He stammered trying to control his voice, " Just walkin' around I guess."
" Ohhh well it is sort of a meandering kind of afternoon," said Edward, " It's weird in a good way though to see you in the daylight!"
Now he laughed softly, "Well I needed ta work off a couple of pounds due ta your chicken last night… I still feel full!"
The green eyes sparkled, "That my dear Jasper is a complement that all cooks dream of! You were full and content and happy! And you entertained my conversation about the colors of the season… I'd say a walk would be in order."
Jasper felt that soft feeling settle the nerves in his stomach as he thought back to the night before. The whole night had been filled with Edward's sweet voice coaxing him into a seemingly silly conversation about colors and the seasons and how ones mood was lifted by the use of warm or cool tones.
It might have appeared dumb and meaningless drivel but it had been a path of conversation Jasper had craved all his life. Something meaningful without the pretense of seriousness.
"Ya made me think of blue in a way I hadn't before…I'd never thought of the colors like that." He nodded to Edwards bags, "What are ya doin' today?"
"Oh these?" he shook his burden, " My friend Bella wanted to have some of the wrapping paper I use so I'm dropping it off at her husband's work."
"Is it far?"
He shook his head, " No, just a few more blocks…hey what are you…?" Jasper had grabbed the bags and hefted them into his arms.
"Come on I'll help you."
"You don't have to do that Jasper, I can carry it myself!" he huffed in the most indignantly adorable way, a slight curve on his lips and a blush on his cheeks.
"Edward, I'm from Texas… I may have been poor but manners are key in the south."
"Well, I always have pictured myself as a southern bell…" He giggled sweetly.
They began walking in the opposite direction…the problem before seeming to shrink behind Jasper…or so he thought.
"So you think I would be more Maloney in Gone with the Wind? Not Scarlet?"
"Nope yur Maloney fo sure. You ain't got the meanness in ya!" Jasper laughed a little as watched as Edward tasseled his hair and fussed around him as they walked. They had been arguing about whether or not Edward was a reincarnated southern lady or not. This had brought on the discussion of the epic Gone with the Wind and from there Edward had insisted that he was Vivian Lee as the crafty and beautiful Scarlet O'Hara.
Jasper begged to differ.
"Jasper, speaking as a gay man who has an inner bitch the likes of which you have never known, I can tell you right now that silly old Maloney is not my female southern counterpart at all! I am the fabulous Miss Scarlet and that's that!"
"There ain't nuthin wrong with Maloney! She was a purty southern lady who loved her man and loved herself…that's a lot like how I think you are." The last part was said so quietly Jasper wasn't sure if Edward had heard it but when he looked up and smiled at him his face was tinged red.
"Well you being from Texas and all…I guess a Yankee like me has to concede to the expert." He replied, "By the way you certainly aren't the type to me who would even know who Scarlet O' Hara was let alone be all up and about who Maloney was! How is this part of you?"
Jasper smirked. "I told you 'bout how I had…a lot of time ta myself growin' up," partly true he had been alone but not in the sense of mom was at work, more like mom had been passed out drunk in her room and no one was home to party with her, "and well…TV, it was there…I watched a lot'a AMC and TCM."
His neighbor sighed unhappily and Jasper was stunned to see those green eyes cloud up in sadness, "While I would never dispute the education of the masses with classic cinema…that had to be a very lonely childhood Jasper. A TV can't make up for a person…"
As always when Edward showed any kind of genuine concern for him Jasper felt himself looking at the ground, "Yeah it sucked…" Understatement of the year right there.
They walked around the corner hanging a right and Edward pointed to a car garage situated across the street.
"Your friends a mechanic?" Jasper felt his interest pick up. Little sweet Edward knew someone who worked on greasy gross cars?
"Oh yes! Jacob is married to my best friend Bella. They met when he started working for her dads mechanic shop and when they got married he took it over when her dad retired…hence the name Black Swan Cars!" He noticed the angry looking black swan above the door holding a wrench and decked out in overalls… it was so cute it hurt.
They walked into the front door and Jasper watched as a very pregnant woman sprung up from a chair and launched herself into Edwards waiting arms.
"I have missed you!" she squealed and Edward jostled her around as much as he could with her large stomach.
" I call you every night dear I hardly think you have been without my presence for a significant amount of time!"
The woman laughed and turned to look at Jasper. She was beautiful with lots of chocolate colored hair piled high in a ponytail, and beautiful shiny eyes that only a woman about to give life could have. Her smile was wide her body generous and if he could have penned a picture of this woman it would have been a fertility goddess…wild, free, and bursting with the essence of life. Gay as he was Jasper felt that if he had been attracted to a woman it would be one like this.
"Oh Edward," she said softly coming to stand next to him her gaze steady and all seeing, "Who is this?"
"Bella I would like you to finally meet… my neighbor from down the hall, Jasper." He really didn't want to examine the breathy way Edward spoke that sentence. Instead he tipped his head downwards to the now named Bella.
"How do you do, mama."
Bella blushed prettily and held out her small hand for him to shake, "Oh it's a pleasure! I have heard so much about you! It's nice to put a face with a name!"
He had to look away. The sincere happiness in her voice stunned him, made Jasper feel so dirty and unworthy, that he actually stepped shyly behind Edward, who gave him a gentle smile and a shoulder squeeze that made him shiver.
Bella seemed to acknowledge that he was nervous, and simply inclined her head and went to chatting with Edward about the wrapping paper he had brought for her. While they went on, Jasper glanced about the tiny neat room, with its utility office space and materials stretched about its floors. Behind a wooden door he could hear the sounds of rivet guns, and screw drivers, smell the grease and oil in the air…it was nice. This was something even in his darkest hours of life he had always enjoyed. Cars could be honest working tools and he loved car magazines and those who admired and worked on them…
"So!" Bella's cheerful voice brought him out of his daze and he looked down at her, "are you going to be joining us for our gay movie night tonight right?"
He wrinkled his face in confusion.
"Um…gay movie night?"
But Edward saved him though not in the way he was expecting, "Of course he's coming Bells!" He smiled up at Jasper, "I want you to meet the crew tonight!"
Seth loved waking up before Sam did. He loved when the sun peeked barely through the window of the bamboo blinds showing in cherry colored lines across the bed where his Sammy lay curled around him. Coming out of sleep with his husbands warm breath across his shoulder hands clasped protectively around his middle he was his most happy his most content between the hours of 7 and 8 a.m.
He would smell the sheets, a combination of their cologne and skin cuddling into the soft mattress and the hard planes of Sam's chest feeling the rise and fall of his lungs. It was the sweetest music he had ever heard.
As silly as all of it sounded he liked having these mushy romantic thoughts about waking up in the morning. Never one for repressing his feminine side Seth always remained true to his feelings whether they were deemed gender appropriate or not. And in the morning he always felt indulgently soft (and it wasn't just his nightly moisturizing routine) and supple…submissive even to the man who made him want to get up look beautiful and conquer of the world of fashion with poise and grace.
However this morning Seth was in for a different type of luxury.
When he stretched out his muscles aching from last night's excursions thinking back to when Sam had gotten home.
He had been in bed for a couple of hours after Edward had called to confirm a gay movie night marathon. He had taken a long hot shower, trimmed and plucked and made himself all sexy before climbing into bed. He liked to feel sensual when he went to bed…like his mother always told him 'you'll never know who'll you'll meet in your dreams!' so looking the best for his honey was a top priority even in the land of sleep.
Last night he had worn his Ginch Gonch undies with the ice cream cones all over them and the little words over the butt that said 'lick it'…they were very sassy and Sam said his ass was very spankable in them. Always a plus.
But some nights Sam wasn't home when he went to bed and last night had been one of those times. His poor honey. He was so busy at the new pipeline site that he often didn't get to come home at a decent hour. Usually on nights like the last one Sam would stumble in and barely coherent from exhaustion and fall right into bed, not moving until the next afternoon.
But at some point long after he had turned off the bedside lamp and fallen asleep Seth felt the presence of a familiar drawing him out of dreamland…
Last night when he had opened his eyes, Sam had been standing in the door way the soft light from the waning moon bathing him in a silvery glow that made his black eyes gleam at him from across the room. His whole posture was taught and rigid, fists clenched at his sides and from what he could see his mouth was in a thin grim line. The eyes that had appeared to shine before from the moonlight he could now see were glistening with emotions too raw to ignore.
When Sam had come to him in bed, he submitted.
The kisses had been bruising, scared with the stain of hurt and the need for comfort. The hands had been possessive, the way he had curled his body around his as his cock buried itself inside of him over and over again, was more animal than man. The noises that came from him were deep and primal, growls and grunts filling their bedroom and Sam had made himself whole again from his body…
They had fallen together some 45 minutes later exhaustion taking over. The last thing Seth recalled was Sam coiling around his back and gripping his sides.
Sometimes Sammy had a bad day.
His work was hard, that much Seth knew. He worked in the muck and the mud laying pipes for drainage ditches, with about 40 other rough neck men who were generally the most unpleasant humans her had ever heard about. Sam would work sometimes 12 hour days in these conditions and come home beaten in body and exhausted in spirit.
Weariness was such a hard thing to bear.
It was nights like that when Seth would feel slightly inadequate with what he did for a living. Of course clothing was also an important factor in the way the world operated and he was proud to be one of the priestesses to the fashion gods. He loved his work and loved helping people learn that nylon was out, that faux fur should only ever be a natural shade and that clothing at times was very unisex. But Sam was the real bread winner and he often confided in his husband that his job was so trivial compared to what Sam did. But this man who had never once in the 6 years they had been together shown any interest in high fashion (Seth usually selected his clothing) would take his calloused hands and put them on his face and say , " Don't you ever think that Seth…what would the fashion world be without you?"
It had been moments like that that he truly was glad they had met in that smoky dirty bar that night.
So what did this morning find for him? Instead of Sam sleeping on him, when he stretched out his used muscles he was alone in the bed.
Blinking the sleep away he glanced around their white, black and red room, rolling his eyes at the site of his super gay undies thrown over Sam's mud caked work boots. Ick. Now he had to wash them twice.
Kitchen noises drifted through the cracked door and the aroma of toasted something made his tummy rumble pleasantly. Sammy was cooking for him.
The thought made Seth grin and he bounced around the mattress flipping over on his stomach stretching across the queen sized bed. He felt so giddy this morning…that's what good hard dirty raw sex did to him. He felt like a nasty whore the night before then the next morning it was like a religious awakening had occurred or he had taken a Prozac. Silly afterglow joy was brought on by how sweet and sexy Sam was in the morning with him. There would be breakfast, then a foot rub, and then maybe more sex then shower…then possible shower sex. Yep…he was so in for a good sore ass day. Unconsciously he reached back and patted his naked tush, making sure their insane night sex hadn't damaged anything important.
The sounds of steps being taken two at a time made Seth look up in time to see Sam nudge the door open with his shoulder. In his hands he balanced two coffee mugs the carafe, sloshing with Starbucks Morning Roast, and a paper plate with two toasted bagels.
"Morning sunshine…" the laugh in his voice matched the softened face. "You want coffee?"
Seth giggled and sat up reaching a hand out to Sam, "Gimme!"
"Hmmmm sounds a lot like what you were saying last night." his husband quipped as he rounded the opposite side of the bed and placed the items on the nightstand, "Although I think you want this.." He poured him a steaming cup and handed it over to Seth waiting fingers.
He took a long sip, felt life return and looked up at the smirking Sam.
"Excellent as always…but to what do I owe the occasion?"
Sam, after all this time actually looked at the ground and mumbled, "Well you…I was sort of…it was hard last night."
Seth smirked, "Oh I'd say it certainly was!" He didn't want him to feel bad about what had happened but Sam sort of always felt the need to coddle him the next morning when he had been taken maybe a little too roughly. Years ago, the first time Sam had lost his cool and had fucked him so hard he could barely stand; his poor baby had been so remorseful he babied him all day long making him take a warm bath and cuddling him on the couch in all the fluffy blankets. Now while Seth had always loved being made to feel like the Princess he was, he also made it clear to Sam that good hard fucking was nice…in fact he would like to partake in it as often as possible. Though Sam was usually a tad rough even when he was taking it slow and making love to him, and Seth had a taste for some forceful playtime last night was a bit out of their usual comfort zone. There had been no preparation, no words of love or encouragement, nothing even done face to face. Sam had just come in, sweaty and gross, testosterone at full force and had simply grabbed his mate and shoved his dick it. It had been a claiming an affirmation of just who he belonged to. Primal and full of animal passion.
And Seth had loved every second of it.
But as always he had expected this sort of reaction from Sam and was trying to just lighten the mood. He pointed a toe out towards his husbands sweatpants clad dick and swirled his foot around, "And it looks like your still hard… hmmmm?" he giggled lightly and Sam smiled, though was a tight one. "Quit being such a sour puss Sam, it was amazing as always, in fact it was down right mind boggling. I'm fine, my ass is fine and my dick is happy so since all those things which are soooo important to you are happy please just shut up and get in bed with me and eat the freaking bagel."
At that Sam did finally sigh and smirk and made to get in the bed. But he stopped him.
"No! This is a naked breakfast and we are going to have nice naked coffee so off with the pants." Seth waved his hand and Sam rolling his eyes wiggled out of his gray sweats exposing all that was glorious to his husbands gaze.
Seth took a swig of his coffee and eyed his groin.
"What?" asked Sam.
"Your penis is so nice…I was just admiring it."
"…"
"Well it is!"
"Ummmm…"
"Just saying…you have a nice dick. I don't get to see it in the daylight with all this coffee and food and I have to say it's even prettier..."
"Whoa wait pretty?" he wrinkled his nose. Seth rolled his eyes.
"Ok it's a handsome penis…it's a very manly handsome dick. In fact it just oozes testosterone."
Sam just smirked and threw the covers back and maneuvered himself in the bed. "Only you could insult my dick with a word like pretty and not make me feel bad." He said and put an arm around Seth pulling him closer and kissing his forehead, "You're lucky I love you like that."
Seth sniggered and kissed him back but on his shoulder. "Hey, that penis is also mine! I think it's pretty but I understand how sensitive he can be," he looked down at Sam flaccid dick and patted it softly; "Sorry Mister Happy I didn't mean to hurt your self-image. I think you are very manly with all of your bigness and your curly pubes and sometimes you just get sooooo big that I am just swooning with the site of your manly handsome ness!" Sam grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth and kissed his fingers laughing.
"You are insane you know that right?" he smiled as Seth cradled his face in his palm.
"I know, but you love it."
Swooping down Sam kissed him soundly on the lips in response, lingering to look him in the eye. The watched each other for a long second and Seth stroked his stubbled check.
"Are you ok?" he asked him and they both know he was referring to his needy behavior last night.
Sam's eyes closed but he nodded slightly. "Bad day is all. I just wanted to come home and be with you."
At that Seth put his coffee down and climbed into his lap laying on his chest and snuggling up against his warm body. He wrapped his arms around his strong and silent love, trying to surround his big muscled body with as much of him as he could.
"I love you…I just want to say that." He whispered to him and Sam's fingers threaded through his hair.
"I know you do Sethie." And he kissed his head again and whispered an 'I love you too' back. T was a nice long moment just sitting there in their own emotion.
A little bit later when they had brought themselves back to the coffee and bagels, Sam asked what was on the agenda today.
"Anything interesting?" he asked around a chew.
"Well, Edward has invited us over for Gay Movie Night and guess what? His mystery neighbor is going to be there! We are finally going to meet this mysterious neighbor! I wonder what he's like? Edward says he's very quiet and shy but I wouldn't worry…we can bring out the best in anyone!" He smiled cheerfully, "And apparently he's very very hot…"
Sam looked thoughtful for a moment and then deadpanned, "He may be hot but he certainly doesn't have a dick as pretty or manly as mine…."
Sooooooo yeah a little Sam and Seth there for ya'! I hope you all enjoyed them! And as always thank you for reading and hopefully reviewing! XOXO Maria/Philomina