Hello everyone! As always thank you all for every review and kind PM that I received in the last chapter! It always touches me greatly! Thank you thank you thank you!
A couple of things to say before we head into this next chapter. So low and behold (and I have no idea HOW this happened but I am non the less greatful) me and my little Seth from this story have been nominated for best new author and best supporting character in the Slash Awards! We are both so shocked and thrilled and I cannot thank whoever did the nominating enough for the honor it was to be included with the amazing authors that are up for this year! I would love to win so everyone who wants to participate Google the Slash awards and you'll find me and Seth! If he wins I'll have him write a acceptance speech! LOL
Now the second thing. It has come to my attention through some concerned reviews and not so kind PMs that in the last chapter some of you feared that I had perhaps given Seth and Sam an abusive relationship. Occasional rough sex apparently comes off as the same as a slap or a punch and I got quite a few nasty PMs saying that I was 'abusing' Seth and that his dialog was that of a victim. Let me say it right now. I am sorry that it came off this way but fear not! Seth is not living in a Lifetime Movie. Sam loves him, they have angry stress relieving CONSENSUAL sex that makes Sam feel a little guilty sometimes cause he gets carried away and maybe grips Seth a little too hard or maybe doesn't prep him as thoroughly as he usually does BUT SETH LIKES IT! He is kinky like that! So I will try and keep in mind that I have to clarify things a little better next time, but they like their sex to be a little more on the hard side. It's just how I pictured them.
SO! That being said I hope you all enjoy this next chapter! It was a doozy to write!
Have fun!
Xoxo Maria/Philomina
Jasper let the shower water beat down on him, eyes closed, head thrown back, lips parted in a silent gasp of pleasure as his fingers tugged and squeezed his dick. Pre cum poured down his palm before getting washed away by the water, and he slapped a hand on the opposite wall of the stall pumping his hips furiously in his own hand. He was horny and bothered. Two lethal combinations that manifested itself in the need to fuck something just to get the itchy feeling out of his system.
Jacking off was all he could do though. Sure he could find some random trick on the street, and screw their brains out but the last thing he could do was afford anonymous ass and getting a case of crabs didn't sound all too great.
Besides…The image in his head was much more pleasurable than a dirty whores face would ever be.
Back in prison, he had been so disgusted by the sexual abuse that went on inside the walls that he had never participated. Masturbating had become a favorite pastime and he had gotten good at thinking of nameless, voiceless, faceless bodies to visualize shoving his dick in. It was almost…almost as good as the real thing.
But now he had a name…a beautiful one at that…and a voice…a sweet soft one… and a face… a face that could make him weak in the knees.
Edward had started appearing in Jasper's fantasies just a few days after that horrible nightmare he had suffered. He had been jacking off and all of a sudden in his mind's eye it was Edward's sugary little mouth wrapped around his dick. He had never come so hard or felt so guilty before in his life.
Although right now Jasper had a feeling the mixture of stress and hormones that was creating this imagined scenario was going to literally blow his mind…
He could just see it so clearly…smell how Edwards hair would smell as he pressed him against the dirty shower wall, shoving his cock deeper and deeper in that tight little ass that swayed and swished when he walked. Edward would moan and writher against him, but his body would submit to him. He would reach back blindly to grasp his pumping thighs, beg him to please please please let him touch his dick, and he would whisper a no that would leave Edward keening in pleasurable desperation. Then Jasper would pull out and spin his boy around enjoying the flush and the way his red hair stuck to his face and how his eyes would be large and pleading with him to get back inside cause it just felt too good being stretched out by his big cock….
Jasper's cum shot all over his stomach and thighs. He fell back against the wall, closing his eyes as wave after wave of sweet euphoria coursed through him…
So fucking good.
But as always shameful remorse closed in and he felt the acid return to his gut.
What the hell was wrong with him? Thinking of Edward that way? Innocent sweet gentle Edward who shouldn't have been anywhere near him and here he was thinking about soiling him with his perverse dreams…
Maybe all those years ago James had been right when he said that he was 'just a sick homo'. Or maybe it had been the years in prison…watching the base cruelty that went on. Maybe it had warped his brain. One thing was for sure though… There was no way Edward would ever think about him in such a way let alone cum like a savage in his bathroom.
Jasper swept a hand through his wet hair tugging painfully on the locks as if punishing himself for the indecency of his actions.
Giving himself a moment to push down the self-hate, he stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel. In the dim light of the over-head light he peered into the cracked mirror above the sink, watching the haunted look that came to his blue eyes.
He had come so close to going back. If Edward hadn't stopped him yesterday he knew…just knew that he wouldn't be going over his house tonight but would be sinking back into the world of gang violence. He would have disappeared under James's shadow and would have returned into his old self…maybe once in a while remembering the kindness Edward had shown him as a distant memory of a life he could never had had. Or perhaps he would have gone back but would have gotten rich and finally been able to live comfortably…maybe he could have kept it a secret from Edward and instead bought him everything that was beautiful, taken him to the best restaurants that he loved so much but could never afford, and make up for the sorry excuse of a human being he had been.
If he had something, maybe he would be worth someone like him.
That last thought took him by surprise and he smacked himself in the face letting the hurt pull him away from such an idea. No…he had to stay firm and just try to do…what was right. Even if going back would be so easy. So damn easy. He could pick up the phone right now…or wait for James to call (he was sure he would since he had missed their 'meeting') and tell him that…
No! He needed to stop!
Angrily Jasper ran to his bed room and threw on a grey thermal and hole bitten jeans. It was the best and cleanest he had.
He needed to get to Edwards house, needed to distract himself from this temptation.
Running back to the mirror in the bathroom he threw his hair back into a pony tail and took a moment to look at himself in the reflection.
More than anything he Jasper knew he couldn't do this not just for Edward but for the other guys who had had left behind in prison. Briefly he thought about those who he had met those seven years behind bars. He thought about Felix…was he doing alright even though he had a nervous breakdown? What about Brandon…he hoped no one had broken that quiet gentle giant into something evil. Or what about that crazy mother fucker Whit who he had met while on trial in Chicago for a crime he had committed in the state? All of those guys had stood behind him when he needed someone to watch his back. How would they feel if once again he was sitting in those cells next to them?
Jasper may have been scum but he did have some sense of honor and pride. They would be so disappointed in him.
So for now even if it killed him he was going to try and be good. He could be good….he could. He would just have to be careful.
A few minutes later Jasper carefully knocked on Edwards's door.
"It's open!" called Edward from within and he made a mental note to remind him that doors had locks for a reason and he shouldn't just leave them open for anyone to walk right on in. Pushing the door open wide Jasper was hit with the sound of not Christmas music playing but the soundtrack from Beauty and the Beast coming out of the speakers. The fireplace was lit, and he could smell the most mouthwatering heavenly aromas whirling around the air. Softly he heard Edward singing to "Something there that Wasn't There Before" and when he walked back into the kitchen there was his pretty little red head swirling around in his apron, butcher knife in one hand and bottle of wine in the other. His cheeks were flushed and his voice was sweet and he stopped singing and laughed.
"Sorry! I can't help myself! I love this soundtrack!" Jasper thought he looked so heart breakingly beautiful with his cream colored v neck sweater and his tight dark jeans and his smile and eyes and voice and…
He had to stop.
"Ya have a nice voice there." Jasper whispered instead causing Edward to roll his eyes playfully and pointed to his stool where he always sat.
"Oh please…I sound like KeSha before she gets auto tuned."
"No…your voice is real soft like…and gentle." He wasn't sure where these complements were coming from but he felt compelled to tell this man everything about him that was good and beautiful every chance he got.
Edward pursed his lips in a blushing smile and poured Jasper a glass of red wine. He had been determined from that fist dinner together to show him that there was more to life than hard grain booze and Bud Light. And Jasper had to admit…this Merlot stuff was pretty damn tasty.
Edward pulled a bubbling dish out of the oven and scooted over to the small dining room table that was literally covered with small and large dishes of food. On closer inspection Jasper's eyes gleamed at spread before him.
"Wow…this is sure sumthin" he smirked at Edward who beamed at him with pride, "What is all this? Kinda fancy huh?"
Edward shuffled over to him and leaned close while he pointed to each dish. Jasper was met with a wave of his masculine clean smell and the hairs on his arms prickled with the touch of his small hand on his arm.
"Oh, it's not too fancy! But for our movie night I always do something tasty and since it is the holidays I thought 'hey why not go all out?'…plus I wanted to impress you." The last admission took Jaspers breath away at the shy glance Edward gave him out from under his eye lashes. He felt the smirk creep up and listened as his companion hastened to tell him what he made.
"Let's see…we have roasted artichoke hearts with a balsamic glaze and crumbled bleu cheese, prosciutto wrapped melons, chicken cutlets with pesto dipping sauce and a nice baked brie with an Asian pear for spreading." The way Edward described the meal to Jasper sounded like music to his ears. It was exciting and sensual all at the same time.
"Oh and Seth is making desert." Said Edward, " He apparently was slaving over it all day so I'll bet it is fabulous!"
Jasper smiled a little and looked down at his shoes, "Your friend Bella said this Seth was…quite a character."
"Hmmmm well that's one way to put it…Seth marches to his own techno remix that's for sure."
Jasper thought for a moment. Was this really that good of an idea? He hated meeting new people… "Can ummm…can I be honest with ya?"
Edward stopped all activity and slow turned to face him. "Yes! Of course! You can always be honest with me." He hurried over to the other stool and sat, as if he sensed that Jasper wanted him closer. He couldn't deny that he didn't not want it that way either.
"I just…Are you sure they ain't gonna hate me?" he said softly.
Edward looked appalled. "Hate you? Why on earth would they?"
"Cause I don't do real good at this kinda stuff…people and things. It ain't that I don't want to have them like me cause I do an' I know they are important to ya so I want ta like them and have them …its more that I usually say the wrong shit and then it gets all fucked up." He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his eyes. "And I know how I look…I'm scruffy an' not to clean lookin'…don't usually make a good first…"
"Hey, stop." Edward silenced him, by putting his hands on his own and pulling them off his face. But instead of dropping them he held both of his palms in his own, rough calloused unkempt hands in soft smooth manicured ones. Jasper felt his breath taken away by the touch. It wasn't often that he usually got close enough to people or even Edward for that matter to have them touch him. Usually closeness meant pain or hurt was coming. But in its place this time there was a distinct obvious difference that made his heart pound and when Jasper looked into Edwards green eyes he felt swept away by the affection and concern there.
"Look," his red head whispered gently, "You don't have to stay here… I know you certainly aren't the social butterfly and that being around people is obviously something you don't do very often…but you have to know that I would never put you in a group of people who wouldn't absolutely love you right?"
Why did Edward say things like that? It made it so much harder for him to not want to kiss him.
"These are my very best friends, and you Jasper have become one of my very best friends now as well! I want you all to meet and get along which I am so sure you will! Just be yourself, be the guy who knows old movies and cars and all sorts of interesting views on life! They will like you I promise! Just as I do." At the last admission Edward blushed and turned away with a tiny smile and Jasper was sure when he did that his soul went with those eyes. And when he tried to pull his hands away, Jasper was the one this time to hold on tugging a little. This caused Edward to sweep his stare back to him and for a moment neither could even say anything…It was a private instant that more than mere words were exchanged. Edward silence was filled with care and obvious adore and Jasper was certain that he could feel the fear and tentative longing that was in his own eyes.
Did he dare to even hope? To dream that this man, this good man would give so much of himself to him?
But the silent pleas were lost as the sharp knock on Edwards door brought them out of their inaudible communication. Edward smiled warmly and with a final squeeze he let their fingers drop and went through to the living room to answer the door.
Jasper stared listlessly at the floor, emotions swirling around him before he pushed them aside to beat himself up with later and walked tentatively into the other room.
Bella was standing there embracing Edward and his eyes fell on the tall lean man hovering at her back. The native looking man gazed affectionately at the two and he laughed along with them.
Such happy people.
"I love hugging your belly!" he heard Edward gush and Bella giggled watching as her best friend and who he assumed was her husband embrace.
"Eddie!" the man's deep friendly voice boomed, "Haven't see you in forever!"
Edward giggled and clasped his hands together, "Jacob Black I was by to see you yesterday but you were knee deep in grease and I was wearing Steve Madden's…I was NOT going out in that garage even if I missed your sexy hugs!"
To Jasper amazement this straight man just grabbed Edward again and swing him around in his arms.
"Yeah yeah yeah all about the shoes isn't it?"
Bella who had been watching the whole display looked over and saw him staring. She smiled sweetly and walked over to him, wisely sensing that he did not want to be touched in anything more than a friendly handshake.
"They are always like this, don't worry," she nodded at the chattering Jacob and Edward. "But how are you doing ?"
"I'm…alright I guess…"
"Don't be nervous! I can see that you are from a mile away, and trust me we might all be silly but we have so much fun together." Bella smiled at her husband as he approached them. Edward introduced them both and the men shook hands. For a brief second, Jasper and Jacob locked eyes and he felt the wind leave his lungs. This man's stare pierced his soul. They were old eyes, in the sense that there was a hard harshness about them. They were eyes that didn't take any bullshit, and that handshake suggested that those fingers were as fierce as the strong beautiful sharp edges around his cheeks, nose and chin. Jaspers honed instincts selected this man as a good man, but one that you did not tangle with, one who had the same street survival code that he had lived by all his life. Esteem was due and territory was to be respected.
Jasper was sure that Jacob knew these things about him as well…it was something that you learned at a young age…to read people. But this man would not harm him in this setting. No, because his brown eyes flickered from his own to Edwards smiling face and Jasper knew that simply because Edward trusted him that Jacob would as well. At least for now.
"Jasper," the native man said, "I have heard a lot about you. My wife thinks your accent is se…"
"Oh my God Jake!" Bella laughed and blushed punching his arm playfully. "Keep your yap shut!"
Jacob grinned, "I was just stating a fact Bells! You said his accent was…"
"I know what I said!" Edward was laughing but he just felt so confused by the whole thing. Bella seemingly desperate to change the subject turned to her friend and asked, "So is Sethie here yet?"
"Now you know that if Seth was here we would have known by now." Jacob laughed then pointed at Jasper, "You met him yet?"
Jasper shook his head a little frightened by the way Jacobs face broke into a slightly evil grin, "Oh…I want a front row seat for this!"
As if on cue a second knock at the door diverted their attention and when Edward opened the door this time, another huge dark skinned man stepped through.
"Sam!" Edward exclaimed and threw his arms around his neck, mindful of the cake box he was carrying. The deep gruff laugh that came from this man's chest was enough to put Jasper on an even higher alert. The voice that greeted Bella and Jacob was rough and deep. The hand that shook his was even larger and tighter than Jacobs had been and the eyes were even more calculating and rigid.
"Jasper," he said, "Nice to finally put a face to a name. I know Seth has been looking forward to meeting you too."
Jasper nodded and Edward took the cake box from Sam's arms, "And where is his royal highness?"
"In the truck still…he had to finish a phone call for work." Explained Sam still looking questionably at him.
"Let me guess," said Edward rolling his eyes, "Sarah and the window displays?"
"You got it…but he did tell me if I didn't put his cake in the fridge and have a glass of Chardonnay iced and ready for him there would be hell to pay."
"Well we wouldn't want him to cut your penis off now do we?" Bella laughed and they all walked into the kitchen, but Jasper lingered behind, standing in the middle of the room facing the open door.
He needed to calm down, or his nerves were going to make him go flying back to his apartment. No matter how uncomfortable he got, this was important to Edward. Jacob and Sam were two alpha males that was for sure and they obviously detected that he wasn't the ideal guy that should be around such a good friend of theirs. They would be protective, and ever watchful of any move he made. They were both hardened people like him who knew a threat when they saw one. If he wasn't careful then he could be in a world of pain. That much he knew.
How was he going to get through this evening?
"Well, well, well…" a smooth high silky voice made Jasper look up. There before him leaning against the open doorframe, hips cocked to the side, bag swung over a shoulder and sunglasses perched on top of his head was one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen.
"You…" he took off the glasses and pointed at him, "are everything I imagined and all that more baby."
Jasper felt himself flush as the man sashed towards him, opening his tan colored coat to reveal a deep crimson turtleneck and long lean legs encased in jeans. The eyes that watched him sweat were almost black and were shinning with amusement and good humor his pink lips quirked in a knowing smirk.
"You…ah must be Seth." He said and wasn't really sure if he should shake his hand or kiss it, but Seth giggled and offered his hand to Jasper in a delicate grasp.
"And you are definitely Jasper that's for certain…I have to say though Edward has talked about you so much I don't think his words really did you justice."
"I…ah…What are ya talkin' about?" he couldn't look this man in the eyes. This was another lovely soul he was in the presence of and it made him feel so small and dirty. What did this obviously fashionable man think of him and his filthy appearance? At least with Edward, he knew him, knew that he could be a gentleman and wasn't just some poor trash that had wandered into a jeweled world. He knew that he wasn't the case as of yet here. But surprise of all surprise's this little man just giggled and clasped his hands together in front of him.
"Oh! You're so modest too! And Bella was right about your accent! Very sexy indeed!" Seth bounced on his heels and grabbed Jasper around the shoulders. Oddly enough the touch didn't make him feel uncomfortable but rather Jasper felt glowing warmth settle in his stomach. He had three allies here tonight and whether or not their men thought he was good, at least Edward, Bella and Seth seemed to be on his side. Seth's enthusiasm was contagious and he felt himself relax and actually smile softly at the little twinkie.
"Edward told me a lot bout' you too. Said you were his sassy gay friend."
His companion laughed throwing his head back, "Well my dear Jasper I am sassy and gay and Edward IS one of my best friends so all you know about me so far is true but barely scratches the surface."
"You got that right…" Suddenly Sam was there, bringing his arms around Seth from behind and kissing his neck. The glare sent over his shoulders could have obliterated him. It was a clear warning to back the fuck off. But when Sam looked down at Seth his face was as warm and loving as any would be. What a strange thing it was to see this huge man who would have been someone he would have fought in a second on the streets, wrap himself around this feminine little thing.
"Oh good you both met!" Edward was by his side smiling up at him. Seth might have calmed him down but every time Edward came back to his side Jasper could finally ease out of his tenseness.
"Oh yes we did Eddie and umm…." Seth looked around and motioned for Bella to follow him, "Can I borrow you both for a few minutes?" He grabbed Edwards hand and drug him to what Jasper assumed was the bedroom door. Edward looked over his shoulder at him as if to say sorry, but the Seth threw him and Bella in and firmly shut the door.
Now he was alone with Jacob and Sam standing side by side arms crossed, looking at him hard and long. He returned the stares, knowing that to show any weakness would be his undoing. He would have to face the judgment of these two protectors.
Jacob was the first to speak up.
"So you want to tell me what a guy who has a gang tattoo on his arm is doing with our boy Edward?"
YAY! Reviews and my lack of school will make me overcome the cliffy! LOL Love you all!