Severus had not been expecting company. It was not like he had that many friends. Well two in total. And his godson. Albus was away from the school. He noticed the time. Lucius would not have come unannounced. He walked over to the door. With Harry gone there was no concern with him any more. Any traces of him were gone. He was definitely surprised when he opened the door. Remus was standing there. Remus he had not seen since Harry left. He had not been hurt. Remus and he were still working on being friends again. Besides Remus had been busy. He had been balancing order business and his fiancé. As well as visiting Harry of course. The man had definitely had a rough time. And the full moon was coming.
He could see it was not the full moon that had him pale. He had not seen Remus like this in a long time. Not even when told Harry was dead. Remus had held hope. He remembered when Remus had watched Sirius go to prison. Or when he was told the Potters were dead. His heart plummeted for his old friend. He knew what had happened before Remus said the words. Remus had known it was coming. He had been dreading it. It was the reason he had been reluctant to hand Harry back.
Remus looked lost."Is the offer of a bed still good?" and after a pause. "If not I can go to my...."
Severus shook his head. "It's still good."
He ushered his old friend inside. He knew Remus had rooms here. He had of course taught last term. But he could understand Remus coming. He had made the offer. But even if he had not he would have brought Remus in. The wolf looked ready to collapse or fall apart. He was glad he had come here. He knew Remus had few people he could rely on. He could not tell anyone else Harry was alive. And he was in no shape to go see Harry.
Remus barely made it into the room. He was as weak as he usually was after the full moon. Back in their friend days h had seen him like this. Every month. He and Lily had sat by his bed after the full moon. But this time it was not physical. This time it was emotional exhaustion that was sitting in. Sirius called for some tea and he tried to coax his old friend to drink some.
He shook his head. "Sirius has come home from the hospital has he?"
Remus did not look up from his tea. "He was going to go and get Harry. I told him. I told him."
Severus had offered to make it look like he was the only one involved. Remus could have made him out as the bad guy. Sirius would have believed it. The mutt was a fool. He would have been happy to blame it all on Severus. He thought all Slytherins were the same. He had never lived Severus. And a lot had to do with Remus. He could have been a lion. He could never have taken the mark. But Sirius would not have liked him. He had once accused Severus of hitting on his boyfriend. Severus laughed. He and Remus had not even been friends any more when the two began dating. Remus became a true marauder after the mudblood comment. Not before then. He had always tried to keep Remus away from him. When Remus and Lily had helped him become a spy after the mark, he nearly had broken up with Remus. Severus owed a lot to Remus. And he was more then willing to shoulder the guilt in this.
He was not surprised though. He was not surprised that Remus had not let him take the blame. Remus told him about what he said to Sirius. It was why he offered the room. He had known both marauders. He had known Remus would not lie. He knew Remus would not be able to live with himself if he did. And he knew Sirius. The mutt would only think bout himself. He would not think about what was best for Harry. He would not see what Remus was doing was for the best.
Severus noticed the bare ring finger before Remus said it. "I am sorry Remus. I seriously hoped for your sake that that Sirius could have been sensible about all this."
Remus looked up. "I waited. I spent over a decade of my life alone. Alone! I waited for him. I waited. Everyone told me to move on but I didn't. I always kept hope."
Sirius was a bloody fool. He had no idea how amazingly lucky he was. He had no idea what he had thrown away. Severus had seen Remus. They could not be friends because Severus was a spy. And he was a wolf. But he watched. He watched his friend bury himself. He watched him almost self destruct. Remus had refused the money and home Sirius gave him access to. He had worked in the muggle world when he could not find work. He spent years fighting for custody of his cub. And fighting to prove Sirius was innocent. He had never given up on either of them. He had put his entire life on hold for them. And now he seemingly lost them both.
Severus took his hand and squeezed it. "You're not alone. You still have Harry. You have not lost him. And you deserve better then Sirius. You deserve more."
Remus looked up at him. "I know you say that but I don't feel it. Sev I have spent so many years dedicating myself to him. I don't know who I am without him."
Severus cut him off the only way he could think. He kissed him. Remus was so much stronger then he ever gave himself credit for. The marauders had been strong. But they had been strong as a group, James and Sirius had relied on each other. But also on Remus and even Peter. They got their strength from that. They were nothing alone. Remus was different. Remus had a strength neither the other two had, and certainly not Peter. Remus had always come second. Sirius had always put James first. He turned to Remus because Lily was taking some time of James. Remus had proven the last decade he was strong and he could do it on his own. He was stronger then he ever gave himself credit for.
Remus drew back. "I can't do this. I can't. Sirius and I.......I should go."
Severus stopped him. "I will not do that again till you're ready. You need someone. Everyone relies on you, everyone leans on you. Lean for once. I won't let you fall."
Remus came into his arms but cried. He held Remus. He had not just kissed him to quiet him. He had wanted to for some time. But he had meant it. He would not do it again till Remus was ready. Remus needed time to mourn. Remus needed time to see his relationship with Sirius died when the Potters died. What there had been of it. The Sirius he had loved had died in prison. Sirius was never good for him. Remus could never rely on him. Remus needed someone to lean on for once. Even if it was only ever as friends Severus would be that person. Even if it was never romantic Severus would be that shoulder he swore. He owed his old friend that.
He carried Remus who had cried himself to sleep and put him in the spare bed. "Harry needs Lucius right now. And you need someone. I will be that. I will be."