Authors Note: This another interlude type deal, kind of like chapters 4 and 5. Dean and Cas' feelings about everything a couple weeks in. more actual story story next time!
A real relationship, this was new. The first person since Cassie he shared his life with. The candle burned hot with Cassie, but it didn't last long. Castiel was different. The little angel that could. He'd been the constant Dean needed in his life. His brother was hit or miss. Sam was there, but with the blood and Ruby and his sensitive artist crap, Dean didn't want to rely too much on someone who could let him down like that. Bobby was a constant, but then again so was John. He could love his fathers, but he didn't want to rely on them. There were few people he could trust, that he would willingly trust with his life. He didn't care much about his body, he liked to share that. But what was left of his soul he guarded with a ferocity that rivaled anything he'd ever battled. The anti-possession tattoo, the closed off nature, checking everyone he met with a secret flick of holy water, handshakes with sliver and iron rings. He'd check, double check, triple check. The only part of himself he had left of himself was his soul. It'd been sliced and diced and forfeit to Hell, but against all odds he still had it. And he only had one person to thank for that.
It'd been a couple weeks since they'd made it official. It still felt foreign to Dean, but it felt good too. Their relationship was nothing like their actual lives. They could take it slow, they could be gentle. The only thing they had to fight tooth and nail for was each other. No saving the world, or ganking ghosts. No ghouls or witches. Just Cas and Dean. He watched the angel change the more time they spent together. He picked up human habits, smiling, holding hands. He even obliged Dean's request to sleep and eat when they were together, it was less awkward and Castiel liked the rest and the new sensations of taste. When he knew Cas was going to have some free time he'd get a separate room from Sam. The privacy was a welcome change, not that they even really needed it. Sure Dean thought about sex, but for once that wasn't on the top of his list. Although every night they crawled into bed together, Dean would run his fingers gently over the angel and contemplate bumping it up a space or two. Even in the short amount of time he knew every mark, curve, and freckle of Castiel's body. He liked the way his full lips looked after they'd been kissing. The dimple in his chin. Sometimes he'd lay in the dark beside the angel and draw wings with his finger tips across his shoulders as they'd talk, sharing stories and secret wishes. Both spent time pleasing the other, hands and mouths hungry, dying to express affection in a more intense way. But Dean still wasn't comfortable "going all the way." He felt like a high school girl when he said it, but he knew it wouldn't be just sex. It would be making love. He didn't want to ruin what they had now. He loved Castiel, they both knew it, but he wasn't ready to admit it just yet.
Though the angel had been watching Dean for a long time, it was nice to finally be close to him. To learn his secrets from his own mouth instead of just looking at them and help him relax and let go after a tough day. He liked to kiss the freckles on Dean's tanned shoulders and trace his fingers along the lines of his muscles. With Dean he didn't have to obey orders unless he wanted to, or question his very existence. He could just be. Sometimes he'd lie awake and watch Dean sleep, even though he said he wouldn't because it creeped Dean out. If his hunter started to twitch and call out with nightmares, he'd be there soothe him, taking him in his arms and rocking gently until his mind settled. Castiel liked when Dean would take him to places he thought the angel might like. Cas would like anything Dean brought him too. He watched Dean relax in the weeks they'd spent together. Slowly he shared himself, piece by piece. Castiel had seen every part of Dean, body and soul. But he knew what it meant for the hunter to willingly give himself over to Cas, even if it was slowly. He'd memorized the taste of Dean's kisses, his skin, his sweat, his cum. Filing them away as perfect simple pleasures. His favorite times with Dean were spent watching his lover daydream in a post orgasmic haze. Dean was hopeful, even after everything he'd seen, he'd been through, deep down he held hope that there was good. He didn't talk about it often, he never shared it before. Not even with Sam, he was too afraid of losing it, but he'd shared it with Castiel. He liked to listen to stories of him and Sam. The way Dean's green eyes would light up with pride made Cas hope he felt the same sense of pride about him. Sometimes they would just play cards and drink beer all night with Sam and Bobby. Cas liked those nights. He had many brothers and sisters, but no real family. At least not until recently. He'd found a home in the arms of another warrior. Maybe that's why he loved Dean. Two battle hardened souls had found company with each other; they'd woven themselves into each other. Castiel and Dean were bonded by the very fiber of their being, both men knew it, and neither questioned it, not anymore. As an angel, Castiel had always been uncertain of what he thought about the true nature of fate. Somewhere between rough kisses and gentle voices in the dark he'd found what he'd been made for. It had been his fate to save Dean Winchester. It was his fate to love him. If that caused him to fall, so be it.