Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or Material Girl.

X-Men Evolution

Material Girl

Starring

Amara Aquila, Jubilation Lee, and Jennifer Stavros

"I'm bored. You?" Jubilee asked her companion, Amara, as they sat on a bench in the busy mall.

"Yep." Amara sighed. "Why did we even come here if we have no money?"

"We thought if people saw how pitiful we looked they give us free money." Jubilee reminded her.

"Oh yeah."

"A-hem."

The two turned around. The blond, cocky, Jennifer Stavros of the Mass. Academy. Surrounded by valets carrying armfuls of shopping bags.

"Roulette." Amara and Jubilee hiss the word out.

"Well, well. If it isn't Magma and, uh…" Jennifer tried to remember. "Dazzler."

"I'm Jubilee." She corrected.

"Whatev." Jennifer waved the correction off. "You might know my date. Warren Worthington III."

The downtrodden Warren stepped from behind her.

"Angel? What are you doing with Roulette of all people?" Amara asked.

"She won me in a card game." Warren moaned.

"How'd-" Jubilee started.

"Don't ask. She cheated." Warren said.

"But that still doesn't explain-" A puzzled Jubilee was cut off by Jennifer.

"That's enough out of you!" She snapped at Warren. "Anyway, Warry is taking me on a shopping spree."

"Whoa." Amara breathed. "He paid for all that?"

"Hmm? Oh, that was just at Jumbo Carnation's boutique. We aren't even nearly at the halfway point." Jennifer snorted.

"Help me." Warren begged.

"Don't you think you have enough?" Amara asked.

That was met with raucous laughter from the bleached blond.

"In your dreams, sister." Jennifer barked. "This will never be enough for me."

"How can you be so cold?" Jubilee asks. Jennifer and the others laugh it off.

"Oh, Jubilee, you poor deluded girl. It's easy. Because, you see…" Jennifer starts. And then, the music begins.

"What is that?" Jubilee asks.

"Where's it coming from?" Amara looks around, but it continues, and they notice Jennifer is dancing to it, with her entourage, as boys swarm at her whim.

"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're okay."

"What the?" Amara gaps. And then Jennifer starts kicking the boys off, save for Warren.

"If they don't give me proper credit, I just walk away!"

Jennifer is led into a jewelry store and is trying on rings and necklaces as poor losers beg at her heels while she shows no interest.

"They can beg and they can plead, but they cant see the light."

(The jewelry store girls: "That's right!")

She walks out of the store wearing fine diamonds and gold rings with Warren at her arm.

"Because the boy with the cold hard cash"

"Is always Mister Right."

Amara and Jubilee can only watch as Jennifer is wrapped in a fine fur coat as valets and shoppers sing through the food court and up the escalator.

'"Cause we are"

"Living in a material world."

"And I am a material girl."

"You know that we are living in a material world,"

"And I am a material girl!"

Gucci. Channel. Dolce. Gabanna. Jared's. She buys in all those stores. In fact, she's fanning herself with Warren's credit cards as the girls watch in green envy. They stop by an electronics store window, filled with TVs playing old romance movies.

"Some boys romance, some boys slow dance"

"That's all right with me."

Jennifer shows little interest, and nods to have the TVs shut off, much to the horror of the boys on screen.

"If they can't raise my interest then I"

"Have to let them be."

The screens go black. Cut to Jennifer getting pampered at a fancy spa in the mall, her nails manicured, hair done, the works. As boys swoon by the front window, and the girls look on with much more envy. Amara is starting to spark.

"Some boys try and some boys lie but"

"I don't let them play."

(The make-up girls: "No way!")

"Only boys who save their pennies"

Amara has set off the sprinkles, but Jennifer, and everyone else covers up with umbrellas.

"Make my rainy day!"

The valets, the security guards, the shoppers, and the employees, are dancing with umbrellas in the rain. Jennifer's is being held for her by Warren as he gets soaked. He's miserable.

"'Cause they are"

"Living in a material world."

"And I am a material girl."

From the upper floor, the girls are horrified by the fact that the collective umbrellas make Jennifer's face. And she winks at them.

"You know that we are living in a material world,"

"And I am a material girl!"

The sprinklers are shut off, and Jennifer begins walking down the rows of stores, with employees who have free samples of their wares in front.

(Employees: "Living in a material world.")

"Material!"

(Employees: "Living in a material world.")

Now it's the hobos panhandling outside the stores.

(Hobos: "Living in a material world.")

"Material!"

(Hobos: "Living in a material world.")

Jennifer stops by the escalators. As she goes down the middle, there are boys at her left and right. She shoos them off.

"Boys may come and boys may go"

"And that's all right you see."

She walks up to the gigantic fountain in the center, and on the corners of it are the jewelry girls and the make-up girls. She's led up to the ledge of the fountain.

"Experience has made me rich"

Jennifer rips off her new clothes to reveal an expensive bikini.

"And now they're after me!"

She dives in.

"'Cause everybodys"

"Living in a material world."

"And I am a material girl."

The jewelry girls and make-up girls do the same, ripping their uniforms off to reveal black and white bathing suits. They dive in and start swimming around her, as if they were in a musical.

"You know that we are living in a material world,"

"And I am a material girl!"

Jubilee and Amara are standing by the fountain, watching, and then they see a huge conga line being led down the escalator by the valets, the shoppers, the security guards, the hobos, everybody! Jennifer is at the other end of the fountain and she's drying off. She leads the line to the front doors.

"Living in a material world."

"And I am a material girl."

"You know that we are living in a material world,"

"And I am a material girl!"

Finally, Jennifer walks out the doors, into the waiting arms of a still miserable Warren in his limo. The bags of all the stuff she got are cramped in there. And in a second limo. As they drive off, Jennifer looks back at the mall ruefully, as if abandoning a best friend.

"A material, a material, a material, a material world."

Jubilee and Amara just stand there, slack-jawed as everyone goes back on their business.

"What the fuc% was that?!" They scream.

Fin