AN: Hi guys! :) Here's a new chappie...the longest so far lol. As always thank you so much for your reviews. I really do love them so please keep them coming :)
Here's one thing to say about this chapter: some of you (okay, let's say everyone haha) will probably hate me for it, but er..this is a Delena story so no Delena, no story as far as I'm concerned. So yes you will hate me but just for a while...I promise :)
Enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think!
For the whole ride home Elena kept glancing at Damon from time to time. He looked a little pale and she was sort of concerned. He didn't even drink that much, and he seemed like a tough person who barely got flues or something. He kept telling her that he was feeling fine but she still felt protective of him.
Jamie was sleeping quietly behind, while Damon was just sitting on the passanger side casually, seeming less giddy than before but still tired.
Elena felt kind of guilty..if he wasn't feeling well in the first place, he could have told her. They would have stayed home.
"Are you sure you're okay? Do you need anything?" Elena asked again as she pulled off in the driveway of the Boarding House.
"I said I'm fine, Elena. I just need to get some rest…really." He said annoyed. It seemed almost a touchy subject for him.
As he got off the car and stumbled a little though, Elena didn't quite believe him. She wished he could stop with the tough guy act. If he wasn't feeling well, she would have gladly took care of him.
"I'll take Jamie to bed." He said as he moved to pick up Jamie.
"Don't worry about it, I'll take him. You go to bed." She said smiling weakly.
Damon was always so caring and attentive with her, and yet for this stupid thing he was getting all touchy and angry. She didn't understand him. Especially not after they said how they felt about each other tonight. Maybe he was really just tired and she was overreacting…
He nodded silently and took the keys of the house, opening the door and letting her in with Jamie in her arms. Luckily Jamie wasn't that heavy..she even had to take him up the stairs.
"You sure you don't want me to take him?" Damon asked chuckling a little.
Just that sound relieved Elena a little. "I can handle it. Stop mocking me!" She said with the same tone, kicking him lightly on the leg with her foot.
"I'll get him to bed and then I'm going to check up on you..maybe you have just some fever. Perhaps I can bring you an aspirin?" She asked once they were upstairs.
"Stop worrying so much. You overreact way too much." He groaned rolling his ocean blue eyes. "But I would definitely agree on you getting me to bed…" He then added making his eye thing.
Elena flushed a little and rolled her eyes.
"Stop being such an ass. I just want to take care of you." She said with a pointed look.
"Sorry, I just…I'm not used to other people taking care of me. It's been just me all my life." He said honestly.
"Well, it's not like that anymore. You have me now, you are always going to have me." She said giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
He nodded and went to his room. Elena brought Jamie into his room, getting him in bed as quietly as she could. She took his jacket and shoes off, pulling him under the covers and turning off the light.
Next step; taking care of her touchy annoyingly boyfriend. She went downstairs again, taking an aspirin for him and filling herself a cold glass of water.
She went to her room quickly changing into her comfy pj and its combined sweatshirt. She even took her phone with her to settle the alarm since she had planned on sleeping in Damon's bed tonight.
She then entered Damon's bedroom, finding an empty bed and the sound of the water from the bathroom. She sat on his bed holding the aspirin and a bottle of water.
He came out a few minutes later only in a pair of sweats pants and shirtless. Oh, god. She had seen him with his bare chest lots of times now actually, but it still took her breath away everytime. He was just so damn perfect.
A cocky grin flashed on his face. "Hello there."
She smiled as he came up to her and pulled her off the bed, taking her in his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
"See? I can still carry heavy things." He teased lifting an eyebrow.
Did he just call her heavy? "Ugh, you're an ass!" She gasped, hitting his shoulder.
"I was kidding my love." He chuckled softly as he kissed her on the lips.
He put her down and she smiled at him innocently. "Here's your aspirin." She said holding it up.
"I'm fine 'Lena seriously. I don't need any aspirin." He pouted boyishly.
"Okay…if you say so." She sighed. "But take it if you feel giddy or weak again, alright?" She said pointedly.
"Yes sir." He said faking seriousness.
She rolled her eyes and smacked him playfully. "Let's get you to bed, big boy."
"Only if you come too..." He said.
"I was planning on it actually." She said seductively.
"Good." He grinned.
"But put a tee-shirt on." She said holding up a finger.
"Why, can't handle all this hotness?" He said smirking, pointing at his body.
"No, it's because I don't want you to get cold..so quite the opposite." She said smirking herself.
"Gee, you sound like my mother." He groaned.
She chuckled softly as she got into bed. He put a simple black tee-shirt on and slipped next to her, wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest, smoothly caressing it. It relaxed him.
"Tell me about her. Your mom. Always if you want to…" She said quietly.
He smiled fondly and she could tell that he really loved his mother. "It's okay." He said.
"Her name was Elizabeth, and she was a lot like me actually. Both physically and mentally. She passed away when I was just a kid...Stefan remembers so little about her. It always hurts him thinking about it, how much he's missed of her." He said with sadness in his voice.
"I'm sorry Damon. I know the feeling." Elena said, empathizing a lot with him.
She knew how it was like to lose a mother. Both parents. But Damon's father was an asshole, so he really didn't count after all.
She wondered if bringing her up was a bad idea. He still seemed sad and lost in his thoughts..she probably shouldn't have asked, maybe he wasn't ready yet. She kissed his chest softly.
"Let's get some sleep..okay?" She asked quietly.
"Sure. Goodnight baby." He said kissing her on the lips.
"'Night." She whispered.
The movement of his chest raising up and down while he breathed in his sleep was comforting and relaxing, pulling her into sleep pretty quickly. A little smile curved her lips. It was all perfect.
Elena was woken up by a phone ringing. Her phone. She quickly glanced over to Damon seeing that he was still sleeping quietly. With sleepy eyes she picked up the phone from the nightstand…late night calls always scared the shit out of her. She then glanced at the screen and saw that it was 1:00am. And that it was Caroline. She rolled her eyes.
What was up with Stefan and now Caroline calling in the middle of the night? It was getting annoying. She still loved to hear from Caroline though, so she quickly accepted the call mumbling an 'hello'.
"Lena! Oh my god Elena…we so have to talk I'm telling you." Caroline's excited voice said from the other line.
Elena had to keep away the phone from her ear a little. Hearing her squealing like that when she was just being woken up in the middle of her sleep was quite annoying.
"Oh..really? What about?" She croaked out.
"Hey what's up, are you sick? You sound all croaky…" She said.
Elena smiled sarcastically even though she knew she couldn't see her. "Oh I don't know Care, I've just been woken up in the middle of the night. No big deal." She said.
"Oh..oopsy! So sorry El. But here it's still pretty early. I'll call you later then…" She said, sounding disappointed though.
"Don't worry Care, the damage is done now." She said rolling her eyes and chuckling softly.
As she waited for Caroline to talk, Elena rested her head on Damon's chest, passing a hand through his soft raven locks which relaxed her a lot.
"Well..Stefan spoke to Damon yesterday, and guess what? Damon has a girlfriend! I mean, a freaking girlfriend! Damon Salvatore! Oh my…I feel sorry for the girl though. He's so clearly playing with her..maybe she's just good in bed you know. Tell me about it..you pratically live with him so you sure know everything. Is she pretty? Is he really into her?" Caroline asked, curiosity exploding from every fiber of her being.
Elena loved her friend, but Caroline sometimes could be really shallow. She got it Damon wasn't her favorite person in the world but no need to blab like that. It was kind of mean. She was so tempted to tell her that the 'poor girl' was her, and that Damon had been nothing but a sweet gentleman with her but she stayed quiet remembering how she and Damon decided to tell them together.
"She's pretty, I guess…and yeah he seems really in love." She said quietly, looking at his sleeping form with a smile.
"Well, if you say so..." Caroline said kind of suspicious.
She might be dumb sometimes, but at understanding those things Caroline was pretty smart.
"Care look I gotta go now. I'm so tired you don't even know." She said faking a yawn.
Elena was a bad liar and she knew that if they kept talking about it Caroline would have found out soon.
"Oh right..I'm so sorry 'Lena. I didn't remember I woke you up." She said with a light giggle. "Good thing that Stef and I are coming back in a week..that douche bag of his father wanted him to stay for another week, can you believe that? I swear if Stefan doesn't get his ass on the plane in a week, I'll come back by myself." She started blabing again and Elena rolled her eyes.
"Goodnight Care..tell Stefan I say hi." She said hanging up before the blonde could reply.
She put her phone down on the nightstand turning it off, and quickly got under the covers again. She smiled contently as she pressed her body against Damon who mumbled her name in his sleep with a little pout as he unconsciously pulled her closer. She giggled at how adorable he looked. She kissed his pouty lips and drifted back to sleep.
Damon woke up feeling fine, despite last night's dizziness. He glanced over the clock and noticed that it was just 7:30 am.
Elena was still sleeping peacefully on her side. She really looked like an angel and Damon couldn't help but smile lovingly at her sight. She was everything to him…
He thought about last night's symptoms and he suddenly grew thoughtful. He wasn't paranoic, not really…but he couldn't help but wonder if as Stefan said they should really go to Dr. Hunt to check up on them.
He had always avoided the argument acting indifferently, but lately it was something that was bugging him day and night. Especially now that he had something to lose. How he felt last night could have been nothing, probably some tiredness or a start of a flu but somehow he had a strange feeling telling him to get his shit together and act on the problem once and for all.
He looked outside the window and saw that it was raining heavily. It was the perfect day to stay in, but he lazily woke up immediatly searching for his phone, which was still inside the pocket of his jeans.
He put it in charge as he went to the bathroom, washing and dressing up quickly. He then took his phone and went out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He headed over Jamie's room seeing that he was still sleeping too and then headed downstairs.
He poured a cup of coffee and then finally decided to call Dr. Hunt. He sighed heavily as he dialed the number. He never thought that he would have reached this point unless forced by Stefan or just out of real necessity.
"Dr. Hunt's study." A woman's voice replied after a couple of rings.
"Goodmorning, could I speak to Dr. Hunt please?" He asked.
There were a few moments of silence as the secretary probably checked if the doctor was available.
"Dr. Hunt." A man's deep voice replied politely.
"Hello doctor, it's Damon Salvatore. I wanted to know if I could possibly pay you a visit this morning? I know I should have called earlier but I'd really like to get over with it." Damon said sighing.
"Oh, Mr. Salvatore. I'm glad you called. I happen to be free most of the morning, you think you can make it for let's say, nine o'clock?" He said.
"Sure thing." Damon replied.
"Is your brother coming with you?" Dr. Hunt asked hesitantly.
"Stefan…no. He's out of town for business. I'll be alone." Damon said gulping a little nervously.
"Oh I see...tell him to come by too when he gets back though." He sounded serious.
"Sure..thank you for your time. See you at nine then." He said haning up.
He took a deep breath and put the phone down. He immediatly took a pen and a piece of paper, leaving a note for Elena saying that he had to check some things up at one of his father's buildings. Big fat lie. But he had promised to himself to not put her into this, and he wanted to keep his word no matter what. It was probably wrong, but he didn't really care.
By now it was becoming almost an habit to leave notes to Elena saying that he was out somewhere. It bugged him because he wanted nothing more to possibly stay in bed with her all day…but he had to do this.
He left the note in the kitchen not wanting to go upstairs risking to wake her up. He put his leather jacket on and quickly headed out.
It was still early and it was raining, but he just couldn't stay in the house without nothing to do. He was feeling too anxious.
He drived around for a while, stopping to the Grill for a few minutes to check up on it. It was still one of his father's property and therefore his, but this was probably the only place he cared about being theirs, besides the Boarding House and the estate in the mountains that his mother loved so much.
It was already 8:30 am as he was driving to Dr. Hunt's office as he got a text from Elena. He smiled softly even before reading it: Got your note :) Be back soon, I want to cook you lunch today. LOL, don't be too hard on me though! I'm not as good as you. Love you.
He smiled softly at the last words. He still couldn't believe that he really said that and that she said it back. It was like a dream. Never in his life he thought he would tell a woman those three little but at the same time so beautiful words. And hearing it from Elena, was music to his ears. She deserved the best and he wanted to be it for her. She was the one.
He parked in the lot and before heading out of the car he replied to her text: I'll be back in an hour or two. About the lunch..don't worry I will tell you it's good no matter what. So you'll never know...kidding babe ;) Love you too.
He put his phone back in his leather jacket as he entered the office.
He never really went there before, but his father and a lot of his relatives did and Giuseppe urged him and Stefan to go too. The Salvatore's seemed to have heart problems…pun intended.
It was something going on in his family since always. His grandfather died because of it and so did Giuseppe's brother. Needless to say that his father had immediatly took a test and he resulted positive too, taking it in time though to be kept in control. He had to take tons of pills and do tests at least three or four times every month. It was a pain in the ass and something unpredictable. Giuseppe always thought that both Damon and Stefan probably had the same defect, but they never really went into the argument that much. They were young…and probably too scared to face something like that. But Damon knew he had to, he couldn't run anymore.
He thought about his mother and how worried she was when she knew about the thing. She had been crying for days praying that at least Damon and Stefan were free of this curse. When Giuseppe's father died, they all thought it was because of his age and that it was a simple heart attack. But then it came out that he always had health problems, and Giuseppe's older brother died a few months after in the same circustamces. After that Giuseppe got tested and when it resulted that his heart had a flaw just like his father and his brother's…it all went to hell. Damon remembered that his mother was already sick when they found out about it and it had added even more drama at their already dark heavy period. She and Giuseppe fought almost everyday, and he remembered to hear her saying that she couldn't forgive herself for leaving her sons when they probably needed her in their lives, and that they both could have been sick from birth.
She had asked to Giuseppe everyday to make the doctors see Damon and Stefan; but they all said that it was too soon to tell something like that. They were just kids back then.
He shook his depressing thoughts away, thinking that everything was going to be alright, and that maybe he and Stefan had been lucky.
He headed over the desk and spoke to one of the secretaries.
"I'm Damon Salvatore, I have an appointment with Dr. Hunt." He said almost impatiently.
She checked the agenda and then smiled politely at him.
"That way, Mr. Salvatore." She said as she pointed to a door at the bottom of the room.
He nodded thanking her and made his way towards the office. He knocked as the doctor told him to come in.
"Mr. Salvatore." He said standing up to greet him.
"Hello, Dr. Hunt." Damon nodded, shaking his hand a bit nervously.
"Please have a sit." He said as Damon quickly accomplished.
"So..I presume you're here for those tests." He said.
"Yes...I think it's the right thing to do." Damon sighed.
"Of course." Dr. Hunt nodded in understanding. "Your uncle Zach is actually about to do these same tests as you. He's coming right after you. If we get to test you both today, I will probably be able to give you the results together." He said trying to sound somehow comforting.
Zach was one of Damon's many uncles. Truth be told he wasn't fond of any of them. Salvatore's weren't known to be the nicest people in the world, that is.
"Did you have any symptoms or a specific reason that made you decide to get tested now?" The doctor asked hesitantly, holding a pen.
"I talked with my brother yesterday and I thought it was probably a good idea to just get over with it already." Damon said casually.
For some reasons he didn't want to refer to last night's dizziness, it could have been nothing and he just didn't want to dramaticize the thing even more.
"I see. Come with me please." He said standing up.
Damon didn't remember feeling this anxious in his whole life. He had never been scared of hospitals and stuff, but this was making him explode. The tension was unbereable.
He took a deep breath, standing up and following the doctor. As he stepped out of the room, he saw his Uncle Zach pacing nervously around the hallway. Damon almost groaned as Zach took him in and approached him. Now it definitely wasn't a great moment for this 'family time'.
"Damon." He greeted.
"Zach, what a coincidence." Damon said smiling tightly.
"Are you here for that test too?" Zach asked putting a hand on his shoulder and looking at him with symphaty.
As Damon nodded he spoke up again. "Well..at least we're not alone in this. You should tell your brother to come too. Lydia pratically forced me into coming today since we're going on a trip next week." He said chuckling trying to sound relaxed. His anxiety was clear though.
"Mr. Salvatore?" Dr. Hunt said holding the door of the room.
"Look Zach I gotta go now. You'll be here though, right?" Damon asked.
"Yeah, I'm right after you. Good luck." He said nodding firmly.
"Thank you." Damon said, hoping for that luck.
The process wasn't that long, but that half an hour seemed an eternity to him. Doing this behind everyone's back sure wasn't helping. Neither Elena, Stefan or not even Giuseppe knew about this.
One of the nurses took some of his blood. She then took his pressure and in the end they attached some strange wires at his heart. He saw the machine processing it all and he told himself to calm down and that everything was going to be okay. The whole concept of the 'everything is gonna be okay' was something that he had always hated. He hated getting his hopes up for nothing or being sure of something that could be wrong. But now for some reasons he wanted to believe that too.
After five minutes of torture, the nurse got the wires off his chest and told him that they were done. Damon quickly put his shirt on heading out.
"Dr. Hunt is currently visting your uncle, Mr. Salvatore. It might take a while so I advice you to take a walk and come back in one hour or two." A nurse said smiling politely.
Thanks god. Taking some fresh air was just what he needed. He stepped out of the office and walked around for a while.
That was it, today he was going to know the truth and there was no coming back. He sighed heavily and thought about the consequences if he indeed resulted sick. Luckily there were stages of the disease. Giuseppe in fact took it in time and was able to control it, even though it was a pain everyday more. But people like his grandfather or Giuseppe's brother didn't have the same luck and died in a few years. Few months.
He then realized that he was doing it because Elena came into his life. Before he had nothing to lose beside his pathetic and lonely life. But now that she came into his life…she was everything. She was worth everything and he wanted to hopefully spend the rest of his life with her.
That is, if he had a life to live for. He decided then and there that if he was sick, he wouldn't have put her into this. She couldn't afford even this in her life, it was just not fair. She had to live a happy life; full of happy memories and less miserable ones as possibile.
Forcing her into this wasn't an option for him. She would have to see him die slowly and painfully and it wasn't something that he could accept.
It made his heart clenching painfully just thinking about it...but if he had to leave her, he already had a plan and he was not going back.
He glanced over his clock and saw that an hour had already passed. He walked towards Dr. Hunt's study again, knowing that the moment had arrived.
When he entered the secretary looked at him with pity for a moment but she quickly recomposed. He decided to shrugg it off.
"Is Zach Salvatore still here?" He asked a little perplexed.
"He just left. He had an important meeting, but his test went just fine so there was nothing to discuss about." She said casually. "Anyway Dr. Hunt is waiting for you. When you feel ready, er, when you want to you can go." She said sounding a little nervous herself.
He eyed her strangely as he stepped into the doctor's office once again. As he looked up at him, he knew he was screwed.
He knew that pity look. You could see it in the movies, or just when someone simply had to tell you something bad. And he had seen it himself everytime someone looked or talked with his mother during her sickness. It made him mad.
"Damon…" Dr. Hunt started quietly.
Fuck, even calling him for name. Could he be any more obvious?
"Just get to the point." Damon said abruptly, not making eye contact.
He sighed heavily and looked at Damon with symphaty.
"I'm so sorry Damon, believe me. Maybe if you came sooner we could have…" He was trying to say when Damon interrumpted.
"How much? How much time do I have?" Damon asked, his jaw clenching.
"From three to six months." Dr. Hunt replied honestly.
Damon took a deep breath to control his nerves and stumbled on the chair. "And there's nothing you can do? Like a cure, a therapy? Hell even a transplant."
"There are various stages of this desease, Damon. If you came sooner, maybe we could have done something…but I'm not even sure. It has attacked you very roughly." He explained. "I'm deeply sorry. Giving these kind of news to my patients always gets me so much you have to believe me. I say enjoy your life as much as you can..at least until you start to feel the first symptoms."
Damon heard half of what he said. He was numb. He couldn't think properly but at the same time it was very clear in his head; he was dying and there was nothing he could do about it.
His body was shaking and he was feeling tremendousely nauseos but he tried to keep it together. "Which would be?"
"Fever, weakness, dizziness, vomit…" The doctor said shaking his head. "You will eventually lose your appetite and you probably won't be able to move so much." He continued.
"I got it." Damon said harshly.
He abruptly stood up and walked to the door.
"Damon look…if you need anything at all…" Dr. Hunt started.
"Goodbye Dr. Hunt." He said before closing the door.
People were looking at him strangely as he exited the room. His fits were clentched and he kicked the wall once he was alone.
"Damn it. Fuck fuck fuck." He swore loudly.
He was raging and furious, but just when he thought about Elena and the fact that he had to leave her, tears started forming in his eyes.
Did he even remember the last time he cried? Damon never allowed himself to cry or show his weakness. But as images of him and Elena passed through his mind, what would they miss, what he couldn't give to her anymore...tears started streaming down his face and he knew what he had to do.
With shaky hands he took the phone and dialed Stefan's number. He didn't want to involve his brother into this, but he was the only one who could understand him.
"Hello?" Stefan replied at the first ring.
"Stef?" He said, noticing that his own voice sounded almost desperate.
"Damon? Are you okay? Is Jamie okay?" Stefan said immediatly sounding worried.
Damon chuckled softly. Stefan and his anxiety.
"Jamie's fine. But Stefan there is a…there is a situation, and I need you to come back as soon as possible. Please."
"Damon, you're scaring me."
"Stefan damn it I can't talk to you about this over the phone. Just come back home please." He said frustrated.
"Are you in trouble?" Stefan guessed.
"N…kind of. I just need you to come here, okay?" He said, the little shake of fear in his voice betraying him.
"Alright. I'll take the first flight this evening...don't worry." He said sounding concerned.
"Okay. Just don't tell father. Not even Caroline." Damon said hanging up before he could reply.
He took a deep breath and walked towards his car. Once he stepped in, his phone buzzed. It was Elena.
He almost took the call when he remembered that he wasn't ready to talk to her just yet. She would sense that something was wrong and he wanted to keep it together in front of her.
He pulled into the Boarding House driveway thirty minutes later. He stayed a few minutes in the car wondering if she would have understood that something was wrong. Elena could read him like a book.
He stepped outside and opened the front door quietly. He could hear laughing from the living room and smiled softly. Her laugh…it was music to his ears.
She and Jamie were playing in the living room and as she saw him coming in her eyes lit up. "Damon." She said smiling.
"You're back, finally. Where have you been?" She said as she stepped closer, kissing him softly on the lips.
"I've been taking care of some things, Stefan asked me to do it." He shrugged casually.
"You look a little pale..are you sure you're okay?" She asked scanning his face.
"Perfectly." He said smiling and kissing her forehead. He had probably just said the biggest lie of his life.
"Good." She grinned. "I've been cooking lunch and Jamie helped me. We tried doing your famous carbonara, baby. But I think I've made a mess though." She chuckled.
He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, but now he just couldn't.
He took a bite from the pasta as she looked at him expectantly biting her lip.
"Non sense. This is really good love." He said winking.
If she only could see his real face at the moment. He was feeling terribile about lying to her like that, but he was truly convinced that it was for her best. He would always look out for her. He thought about leaving her behind…and she eventually moving on, forgetting about him. It was eating him alive.
"You sure it's good?" Elena asked as she saw his expression darkening.
"Of course." He said smiling immediatly.
"I'm happy you like it, I wanted to surprise you." She said as she closed her eyes and put his shoulder around her, buring her face in it.
"I've missed you this morning when I woke up. I want to wake up with you beside me everyday of my life." She said quietly as her big doe eyes looked up at him.
"Me too." He whispered smiling a little and kissing her head.
You are the love of my life, he wanted to tell her. Thank you for showing me what loving and being loved means. He was literally struggling to not cry.
"Alright, let's set up the table okay?" She said stepping out of his embrace.
He immediatly felt the loss of her touch. Something he had to get used to.
The rest of the day passed pretty quickly. It was still raining heavily and Damon thought that the weather just echoed his feelings at the moment.
What were those things you told people who were dying? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. He almost wanted to laugh. He was pretty sure that he would never really reach the last one.
At 7 pm Stefan sent him a text telling him that he was on the flight and that he would arrive in nine or ten hours. He didn't tell anything to Jamie or Elena, deciding to surprise them when Stefan got back, and after Damon talked to him.
Elena went to bed early saying that she was tired and Jamie did the same. During the day she eyed him suspiciously a few times, but Damon pretended not to notice.
As Elena slept quietly Damon searched through one of the drawers in his room that he almost never opened. Some of the most important things for him were there.
He smiled fondly as he looked at the pictures of him and his mother and he and Stefan as kids. He then took one of his mother's most precious thing and fingered it softly. It was her emerald necklace. It was beautiful. It had a litte stone with a little piece of emerald in it. It seemed to sparkle and Damon thought how well it would look on Elena.
He knew that she had lost her mother's necklace that night, and how much it meant to her. It really pained him seeing her like that and he had already planned on giving her his mother's necklace. She had told him to give it to someone special..to someone he knew would hold his heart forever.
And that someone was Elena. It was always going to be her.
He gently put the necklace on the nightstand, then turning over Elena and kneeling in front of her. She was sleeping so quietly and she was so beautiful and pure. He softly stroked her hair, leaving butterflies kisses on her face.
"I love you baby girl. I love you so much please always remember this." He whispered in her ear as he felt his eyes getting wet.
He got up and brushed his tears away. He then took one of his mother's porcelain boxes, placing the necklace inside it. His mother was a classy woman and she loved such things as antique trades. That little porcelain box and the necklace in it were now a treasure to him.
He now had to do the hardest thing of all. He took a deep breath and headed over his desk. He took one paper and a pen, writing a letter that was meant for Elena. But of course, he would never be able to give it to her.
My beloved Elena,
When you will read this letter, you will probably hate me a little. But that's okay, because I know that you're happy right now.
Happiness and love is all I want you to have. You deserve it more than anyone, and it pains me to know what I won't be the reason of it. When I left you, it wasn't because I didn't love you. I've always loved you and always will. You made me fall in love with you since the first time I saw you..you're my baby girl. You hold my heart in your hands.
When I thought about my future..I saw it with you. I thought about the two of us building-up a life together. Living together until the last day of our lives. Unfortunately, this didn't happen. But I'm sure you've found someone who loves you and respects you just like you deserve to.
The reason why I didn't tell you before it's because I think you deserve to live your life fully, with no more sadness to carry on your shoulders. I've never wanted to leave you..but at the same time, I feel like leaving you like that was the best thing to do. You will hate me for a while, or maybe forever, for breaking your heart..but you will move on and go through this, as you always did in your life. Your strenght is one of the many reasons which made me fall in love with you. Please don't hate me after reading this. If I did wrong, then I'm sorry. But I feel like letting you live your life without the memory of my death will be nothing but the best.
You will probably blame yourself a little..but please don't do it. And probably you will hate me for not saying this to you..but I will only be a far memory when my brother is going to hand you this letter and tell you the story. I want this to happen in a long time though. Ten years, fifteen years..I don't care. When you will be ready for this and I will be a remote memory.
I know you loved me, and I want to thank you for that. For showing me what loving and being loved means. I will forever be grateful to you for this.
Even if he will be a grown up man, please always look out for Jamie. He loves you so much. You're like a mother to him.
Together with this letter I want you to have something very precious for me that was very important for my mother too. I know you've lost your mother's necklace and how much it meant for you...but I hope you will love this one too, maybe remiding you a little bit of me and my love for you.
I love you.
Forever yours,
Damon.
He carefully closed it, and for a moment he wondered if it was the right thing to do. Of course it is, he thought. You're going to make her live her life, making her remember you as the asshole who broke her heart when she was young. It's for the best he thought again.
He knew though that he couldn't die knowing that Elena would never know the truth. He had to talk to Stefan about this.
He would tell him about him and Elena, how they fell in love, and how much she meant to him. Hopefully his brother would understand and do as he asked him. He wanted to do it as soon as possibile, he couldn't stand to look Elena in the eyes and lying to her like that. He was a coward and he knew it but she would eventually be grateful for it.
In a few weeks he would leave her, telling her that he had to move to New York and that the work was really important for him. She would probably ask if she could come too, or if he didn't think about their relationship while making the decision…and then he would dump her. It made him sick even just thinking about it but he had to do what he had always been capable to do in his life; put on a mask and be cold. Pratically being an actor.
He knew that it was going to be too difficult doing it with Elena, but at least he had to give it a try.
He knew he had to leave her. It would be less painful for her if he left her like that, instead of seeing him die slowly in front of her eyes. She was so young..it was something too hard for her. She would probably never recover from it completely. The scar would always be there somewhere in her heart for her whole life. As the realization that he was leaving her hit him, Damon let a few tears escape and he felt like he had to destroy everything in front of him. He wanted to scream, destroy and kick everything in his way but he kept his feelings for himself.
He was dying, and now the only hope was that at least his little brother was going to be okay. He had Jamie, he couldn't leave him.
He was going to move to New York or some other great city and spend the last months of his life there. Such a great way to live the last days of your life, he thought. But the truth was that without Elena it wasn't even worth it. He couldn't care less about anything else.
He put the letter into the box, and then put the necklace on top of it. He closed the box and put it in his drawer, locking it.
He would give it to Stefan eventually before leaving, and he would explain everything to him. Hopefully his brother was going to understand and do this one last thing for him.
He realized that it was already 5 am as he got a text from Stefan saying that he had just arrived at Mystic Falls' airport.
Let the hell begin.