Made of Fail

Chapter Eleven
Plot! Finally!

Life was great in Suna as a chūnin, Tarantu decided. She'd just gotten a mission – her first C-ranked as a team leader – and she was standing at the gates with her team and clients. Her clients were a young woman named Akemi with long black hair and eyes, golden skin, and a slim figure, and her father Shūkurō, a leathery old man with grey hair and black eyes. The old man was a merchant and her daughter his apprentice – they'd come to Suna to sell their wares, and now they were ready to travel to another city in the desert, a day's journey away.

Tarantu's teammates for the expedition were two twins named Haruhi and Hikaru. They both had short, messy brown hair and lazy silver eyes with olive skin. They were known for their excellent teamwork, but unfortunately only worked well together. If they were separated, they were pretty useless – they were working on being self-sufficient, but for the moment they were only allowed on low-ranked missions.

Shūkurō and Akemi owned several camels that carried their merchandise from village to village. They were laden with all sorts of colorful knickknacks, pots and kettles, dolls and beads, even some simple instruments. Tarantu wanted to look at them, but she tore her gaze away from the baubles and trinkets to instruct Haruhi and Hikaru onto two camels with nothing on their backs. Tarantu herself would walk next to the caravan, she decided as she watched the camel kneel and accept both boys onto its back before Shūkurō tugged at its reins to get it to rise.

As soon as the clients were aboard their own camels (Akemi between Haruhi and Hikaru, and Shūkurō leading the procession with Tarantu walking beside him), the convoy began to move.

Zabuza scowled as he sat at his desk, glaring at the pile of paperwork in front of him as though attempting to set it aflame with his gaze. He didn't even look up when the door opened and someone walked in – Suigetsu, from the sounds of it.

"Hey, Mizukage-sama," Suigetsu chirped cheekily. Zabuza grunted. He loved being called Mizukage-sama by the populace, but when Suigetsu, Kisame, or Chōjūrō called him that, it aggravated him. Asshole knew it, too – he was just being an annoying brat.

"Oi, Zabuza, you're not going to get that paperwork done if you just keep glaring at it." At this, Zabuza's lower right eyelid twitched before he grabbed his Kubikiribōchō and jumped onto his desk, scattering the papers around the room. Suigetsu darted out of the room just before the sword crashed through the wall behind where his head had been. It jutted out of the other side, stuck between two rooms.

Chōjūrō, who had been on his way to the Mizukage's office to deliver papers, let out a long-suffering sigh before shifting the paperwork to his right arm and pressing a button on his transceiver. "Kirin, send s-someone up to clean up – M-Mizukage-sama made a m-mess…again."

Tarantu adjusted the scrolls on her belt underneath her white poncho. It had been hours since they'd started their trek, and although she and her team stayed cool by using their chakra to expel the heat from their bodies (which saved water, too, since then they had no need to sweat) their clients were tired and sweaty. She frowned. They should've begun their journey at night, and rested during the day – the moon and stars were terrific navigational tools, anyway – but the thought hadn't crossed her mind.

She'd just have to keep that in mind for next time.

Instead, Tarantu decided to get their permission to push her chakra into them to keep them cool – they agreed and, with renewed vigor, they continued onwards. Hikaru and Haruhi, while simultaneously keeping a lookout for danger, engaged in conversation with Akemi, who was in between them (they were in a single file line). Tarantu and Shūkurō quietly talked as well – the elderly man found Tarantu charming, and happily answered her questions about his job.

It was halfway through their journey, when the sun was at its zenith, that something Very Bad happened.

Tarantu continued happily conversing with the old man, when a speck in the distance appeared. Tarantu thought it likely to be a mirage, but quickly disposed of the thought when she noticed its growing bigger at an alarming rate. As soon as she could discern that they had a human shape, she turned to face the twins and motioned them to prepare for a possible confrontation. The two hopped from their camels and quickly grouped all the animals together, positioning themselves at either side of Tarantu.

They quickly informed Shūkurō and Akemi of what was going on, and ushered them to the middle of the group of camels so that they formed a sort of wall around them. This all happened very quickly, but as soon as the two merchants were safe, the three Suna-nin found themselves standing in front of a team of foreign ANBU.

It was a tense faceoff on Tarantu's side. The twins had broken out into a cold sweat despite the heat, and Tarantu had tensed, eyes flickering between the three ANBU. Then one of them spoke.

"Yōsabaku no Tarantu, we wish to give you a message." Tarantu licked her suddenly dry lips and motioned for her team to stand down, which they did reluctantly. "Yes?"

"You have connections to a girl in Konoha – one Yin Tsukiakari. Give her this message: We will get back what's ours eventually."

Kuro, meanwhile, was happily making lunch for the Family – lunch was light, and usually consisted of fruit salad. Idly wondering what Tarantu was doing at the moment, she began to slice up some figs.

Naruto, Fū, and Lee were sitting at the table in the corner to Kuro's left – the one with art supplies. Naruto had gotten into drawing figures made of circles (a step up from drawing stick figures) doing ninja things – the winning ninja always had blond hair and blue eyes.

Of course, Kuro mused, there weren't any crayons that actually matched his coloring. His hair was the sort of blond that most people didn't keep past childhood, but in the shade it was a dull gold. His eyes were a rare sky blue, and when the sun shone in them, it almost looked like he had clouds in his eyes. He had always been quite beautiful. Of course, though, all her children were.

Naruto was furiously coloring in his picture, scribbling in blond spikes for hair and blue dots for eyes before moving on to the clothing – the character wore a white overcoat with flames at the bottom along with a green shirt and blue pants and shoes. He was throwing a yellow ball at another character. Next to him was another blond-haired, blue-eyed character, who wore an open orange vest with tassels along with black pants and shoes. This character was throwing kunai at other characters.

With a grin, Naruto sat back and looked at his creation. The Yondaime had always been his hero. Now he could fight beside him, if only in his imagination. Keeping the grin on his face, he carefully signed his name on the back and ran up to show Kuro.

"'Kā-chan, 'Kā-chan!" he yelled.

"Inside voice, Naru-chan." Naruto looked chagrined. "Sorry. Oh! But 'Kā-chan, look what I drawed!"

"It's 'drew' honey." Even so, Kuro put down her knife and squatted down to look at Naruto's picture. "Wow!" she exclaimed, looking at it intently. "That's really good, Naru-chan! Put it on my desk and we'll hang it up after lunch, okay?" Naruto nodded enthusiastically, a giant grin on his face, before happily walking over to Kuro's desk and placing his picture gently on it. He admired it for a few more long moments before his attention focused on another picture on the desk.

This picture had all sorts of cool shapes and swirls. He found himself drawn in by the squiggles and different sorts of lines – from long and graceful to short and violent, it seemed to almost tell a story. He found himself making up a story to go along with the lines, only to be yanked away from his thoughts with his mother's call of 'lunchtime!'

With a grin, Naruto joined the rush to wash hands in the river with Kuro's homemade lye soap before sitting on the grass for a lunchtime picnic. Ever since he'd begun eating meals with the Family he'd eaten slowly, savoring each bite – Kuro would accept nothing less. He also happily contributed to the conversation – he still had problems with letting other people talk, too, but he was working on it! Honest!

Out of all the fruits he'd ever eaten, Naruto had the most fun eating lemons – the sour taste made his mouth and throat sting so badly that his entire face seemed to squish in on itself while it made the rest of his body shiver violently. If only all fruits were that fun to eat!

Of course, though, he liked the taste of red apples and oranges the best – red apples because it was so completely different from the lemons he loved so much that when he ate them together it had a cool effect, and oranges because it was a perfect balance between the two.

Luckily, his fruit salad had all three mixed in, as well as green and red grapes, raspberries, blackberries, and pineapple. His salad was the only one with lemons, of course, since even though Fū found them fun to eat, too, she hated the taste – her salad had kiwi, mandarins, pineapple, cantaloupe, red grapes, blackberries, and watermelon. She liked kiwi and mandarins the best.

After they cleaned up from lunch, Kuro hung up Naruto's picture on the wall across from the kitchen and art table. He didn't notice her soft smile when she realized who, exactly, was in the picture. Instead, he decided to ask about the drawing he found on her desk.

Kuro laughed at this. "It's not a drawing, Naru-chan," she said, picking it up and showing it to him. "It's a seal. I'm working on a seal that splits the chakra in someone's body into equal parts – like when you pour water from one big glass into different same-sized cups – and seals it, so that it can be used as backup in a fight."

"Why?" Kuro put her seal down and looked at him with a smile. "You know how you have a lot of chakra? So much you don't know how to control it well? Well, I decided that if I could seal your chakra up into, say, nine parts, you'd be able to control it better and still have the same amount of chakra."

Naruto nodded to show he understood. "Does it work?" Kuro frowned. "No, not yet; I'll spare you the technical talk, but basically I can't get it to absorb chakra well. It can split it, but sealing it is a different thing. It's hard to seal chakra."

The young blond nodded again, and looked at the paper more closely, trying to make some sense of it. "What other kinds of seals are there?" Kuro's eyes lit up at this, and she reached into her bookcase to take out a small scroll.

"Seals," she began, opening the scroll, "can hold things inside them – if you put a seal on a piece of paper and seal an apple in it, the apple is in the seal itself, not the paper. It's interesting, because no one knows when the apple really goes, or where exactly things you store end up. There are also explosion seals, which you can use to set off a trap or slow down an enemy, but those are just the basic ones. There hasn't been a truly accomplished seal master since the Yondaime himself. I'm not as good as he was, but I have made a few useful seals." She handed him the scroll. "This is a beginners' scroll – if you like, I'll teach you."

Naruto looked enraptured by this. "The Yondaime used seals?" he exclaimed. Kuro laughed and nodded. "Yes; and you're the last of a clan of seal masters – you could say it's in your blood." Naruto's eyes grew wide. "You know about my family?" he whispered.

Kuro's eyes softened, and she nodded. "Yes," she said softly. "If you want, I can tell you about your clan, but now isn't the time. When you turn seven, I'll tell you about your mother." Naruto looked a bit put-out by this, but acquiesced, nonetheless.

"Can you at least tell me if I have any family left?" he asked softly. Kuro shook her head softly. "You're the last one, Naruto." Naruto quieted at this, but nodded.

"In that case, I'll just have to revive my clan, huh?" he said, a determined glint in his eye. Kuro laughed. "And when you're eight, I'll tell you exactly what you need to do in order for that to happen."

A day and a half later, Tarantu gave her mission report and dropped in to see the Kazekage to inform him of her team's encounter with the foreign ninja. She gave a description of their uniforms to her superior and he dismissed her. She bowed and left after promising not to breathe a word of what had happened – her teammates had already sworn to keep it a secret. Of course, she did need tell Kuro, and got permission to relay the message to her little sister.

She got home that evening and was immediately set upon by Tsubasa, the bird that got frostbite. He landed on her shoulder and nipped at her ear. "Hello, Tsubasa," she said with a smile. "How've you been?" The bird continued to sing and flew off her shoulder and up the stairs. Tarantu found Kankurō in the training room, working with his puppet – the only one he'd ever made. It had tubes running through it, mimicking a chakra circulatory system, so he could push jutsu through it. The puppet's movements were graceful, yet slow – Kankurō had to use all his concentration to use a jutsu with the puppet. At the moment he was attempting a low-level water jutsu.

In the other corner was Temari, who was practicing with her hand-held fans. Kuro had come to Suna last week and talked her into experimenting with seals on her fans – directional seals, storage seals set to let loose their contents after a set time once activated, et cetera – so Temari was training with that.

When Temari noticed her, she grinned. "Okā-san!" she exclaimed, putting away her fans and running over to her. Tarantu knelt down and gave her a hug. Kankurō, losing concentration after his big sister's exclamation, noticed Tarantu as well and ran to receive his hug.

"Hey, you two!" she said with a smile. "You guys look like you're working hard." Yashamaru, who'd been supervising their training, stepped forward. "Yes, they have," he said with a smile. Tarantu beamed at the three of them. "Great job, you two!" Then she looked around. "Where's your brother?"

Yashamaru answered again. "He's in a training field, working on using Shūkaku's power." Tarantu smiled. "Good for him!" she said. "I'm going to go see how he's doing, then I'm going to bed. It's been a long two days."

Gaara sat in the sand, meditating. He'd just asked the Shūkaku for some of his chakra – just the tiniest bit, really – and was trying to control it. The circles around his eyes had deepened and grown rougher, his nails sharpened into claws, and his canines lengthened into fangs. At the moment he was simply vibrating with energy.

Ooh, this was so hard! He needed to move around, he just needed to move! Getting up on all fours, Gaara shook himself off and began to run around the training field. It felt good to run…

He caught sight of a woman – his mother – and ran towards her to engulf her in a hug. As soon as he touched her, however, all of the yōkai running through him seemed to drain off and he collapsed in her arms. Then he passed out.

He awoke to find himself in his room, early morning sunlight streaming through his windows. Waking quickly, as usual, and getting out of bed before getting dressed, Gaara went through his morning routine and quickly went to find his mother. He found her in her room, getting ready for the day. "Okā-san!" he called, hopping up to her and giving her a hug. "What happened…yesterday?"

Tarantu smiled. "Well," she mused. "Remember the kekkei genkai I have?" Gaara nodded. "Okay, so what happens is that my yōkai is mixed in with my chakra, and since my yōkai is so pure, it burns away any bijū's yōkai. When you ran out of yōkai after touching me, you passed out."

Gaara nodded again, thoughtfully. "That's useful," he said. "If you ever get into a fight with another jinchūriki, you'd win really easily!" Tarantu laughed and smiled, ruffling Gaara's hair. "As long as I can hit them, yes," she agreed. "Anyway, I'm proud of you, Gaara. Learning to use Shūkaku's chakra like that, all by yourself… You're really brave!" Gaara blushed, but shook his head.

"I'm not doing it alone," he said. "I've got the other jinchūriki to help me. Sui," he gestured to his messenger bag, where the oversized beetle was napping, "is really good at contacting the other jinchūriki, and they're really helpful. Plus, Shūkaku's really nice once you get to know him. He's helping me the most, and getting me used to his chakra bit by bit, without making me angry!"

Tarantu's eyes softened and she kissed Gaara's seal gently. "You've got great friends, then," she said, a twinkle in her eye. "Be sure to thank Shūkaku for me." Gaara nodded happily, and they left the room.

Deep inside of Gaara's seal, the Ichibi awoke when he felt Tarantu's pure chakra and love enter the seal. He let his eyelids flutter closed as the calming chakra seemed to embrace him, wrapping itself around his form. He fell back asleep with one word to describe his feeling.

Safe.

Kuro paced back and forth in her tree, wringing her hands and fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt, picking at the top layer of skin on her lower lip with her teeth, and generally acting very, very stressed out. Anko stepped inside and caught sight of her.

"Kuro? What's wrong?" The brunette looked up at her with a look of horror in her eyes. "It's Taki," she whispered. "That damned village…" She leaned onto the wall, looking at the ground. "I adopted Fū from that damned place, and now they're going to use any means they can to get her back." Anko stared at her. "They sent me a message through 'Ran 'nē-chan. I'm so scared for her. I don't think she'll be able to take a step out of the village without Taki trying to steal her from me."

"Damn!" Anko hissed, hugging Kuro to her. The brunette in her arms began to sob hysterically, clutching at her tightly.

Fū stood up, her hands clenched into fists. "What!" she yelled angrily. "I was legally adopted!" Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, taking another puff from his pipe. "We know, Fū," he said. "However, you were very valuable to them and they want to get you back."

Kuro stood and walked to her daughter to envelop her in a hug. "But aren't they scared of starting a war?" she asked the old man. He sighed once more and leaned back in his chest. "They're gambling on our wanting to stay peaceful and not fighting over one person being kidnapped."

"But she's not just one person," she said. "She's the adopted daughter of a Yin and a jinchūriki. I hate to say it, but just because we didn't fight against a large country after a failed kidnapping of a large clan right after a devastating war ended doesn't mean that we won't fight against a smaller, weaker country for a successful kidnapping of a jinchūriki. It's just not a logical thought process."

Hiruzen grunted noncommittally. "Logical or not, they're trying to get Fū and we can only keep her so protected. Inside these walls she should be safe, but outside of Konoha…" He sighed. "We can't take any chances." The tension drained out of Fū's body and she relaxed bonelessly into her mother's arms. Kuro sat down and pulled her daughter onto her lap. "You're too young for this to happen to you," Kuro whispered to her daughter.

Sara pushed herself off the wall on which she'd been leaning. "I've got something," she said, taking a scroll out of her bag and setting it on Hiruzen's desk. "This is a trans-dimensional portal – it'll take someone to Kuro and Tarantu's dimension." Kuro's head snapped up. "You mean you've had that all this time?" she said. "Dammit, Sara! I could've visited my family!" Sara shrugged. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't give it to you earlier."

"Because I was dependant on them and I needed to quit cold turkey," she grumbled. Sara laughed. "If you put it that way, then I'm a bitch. But this is more of a last resort. It was part of the agreement I made with the kami to take you here." Kuro nodded and hugged her daughter tighter.

Sara smiled. "We'll see if they can take Fū while we sort things out over here. We can't leave her there forever, but it'll help keep her safe."

Nearly the entire family was travelling to Kuro's home with them – Hiruzen agreed after being continuously prodded by Sara. Even Zabuza, Chōjūrō, and Suigetsu came from Kiri to visit Kuro's family (leaving Terumī Mei in charge). Sara held out a scroll – their mode of transportation. She hadn't told them how exactly it worked, but apparently it was something of a signed permission slip from the kami for the inter-dimensional travel they were about to do.

"All right," she said. "Time passes the same way in Kuro's home world as it does here, and due to the coordinates being switched around we'll probably end up somewhere in Hokkaido. Everyone ready?"

Everyone nodded and Sara opened the scroll – a blinding white light enveloped them all and they passed out.

Zabuza opened his eyes and blinked once, then twice. Then he sat up. "What the fuck?"

Well, now he knew for a fact that this wasn't a joke.

Kuro, who was cooking some venison over an open fire, chuckled. "It's a bit weird, yeah," she said. Weird was an understatement. The plants he could handle – it was just a bit naked on the edges and extremely shaded and odd-looking – but people were a completely different animal – uh, kingdom. The eyes were weird as hell – they were wet and closed around the edges with long, individual eyelashes, and the colors were different.

The noses were also weird, with different shading around it and more prominent nostrils, as well as dark shading around the sides at the bottom. The lips had weird lines running up and down them, and the shadows were just so weird! Even so, they still looked naked around the edges; as though there was something missing that separated them from the background.

He blinked and closed his eyes. "Fucking weird," he commented. Kuro grinned (he winced at the strangeness of the individual teeth) and handed him a portion of the venison. "Not to me," she replied. "It's my home."

Sara had brought more normal-looking clothes with them, and they all dressed up in relatively similar outfits. Anko was one of the exceptions – she wore the tatami sandals like everyone else, but she also wore black leggings and a long, red sleeveless shirt that tightened in a band around her thighs and collarbones. She looked especially feminine.

"All right," Sara said. "Since I've been here before, I'll be your tour guide. We're in Sapporo-shi right now, and we're going to have to get to America." Kuro raised her hand. She, like Anko, wore a different type of outfit. Unlike Anko, she looked more like an outdated tourist ready to take a hike. She went barefoot as usual, but with khaki shorts layered with pockets, a black fanny pack that sat slung over her pelvis, and a loose, flowery Hawaiian button-down. She had a bucket hat on her head, a camera around her neck, and a backpack hiked up over her shoulders.

"Question!" she piped up from the back. "'Tō-chan's got a friend, Honda-san, in Tokyo. He's my 'tō-chan's age, so he might not be alive anymore, but the last I heard, he lives in Tokyo. Couldn't we go there and ask around to try to find him?" Sara blinked. Then she shrugged. "Sure, why not?" She paused. "Kuro, how are we going to explain your partner?" Said Bay Cat was sitting stiffly next to Kuro.

Kuro opened her mouth to answer, paused with a look of confusion on her face, and closed it with a thoughtful expression. "She's an animal ambassador," she finally said. Everyone looked at her oddly but Sara, who grinned and hopped up and down, clapping her hands. "Ooh, that's such a good idea!" she squealed. Then the spastic moment was over and she led them west-south-west.

So they headed off – Sara rambled on and on about Sapporo – it was the birthplace of miso ramen, there's an alley lined with ramen restaurants called the Kōraku Ramen Meitengai, and there's a ramen-themed amusement park (Naruto went wild). It's also famed for seafood, there's a salmon museum in the Minami District (Minami-ku), skiing is a part of the school curriculum, and lilac was brought to Hokkaido in 1889 by Ms. Sarah Clara Smith, an American educator.

They mainly stuck to the trees in Japan's ample forests and remained relatively unseen until they reached the end of the south part of the island at the end of the first day. They had come up with different names for themselves to try to take people's curiosity from their similar appearance to certain manga characters. That would be another part of Sara and Kuro's job – to try to keep their attention away from anything related to Kishimoto Masashi's manga.

Naruto's new name was 'Toru', created by switching around the last two letters in his name, 'ru' and 'to'. Fū was Tachi, though her name came from a cultural reference – the kanji that made up Fū's name was for 'wind', and there's a legend of Kamaitachi, or 'sickle weasels', who are, most commonly, a trio of weasels with sharp claws that attack passersby by traveling on a gust of wind. Taking the last two katakana letters from 'Kamaitachi' gave Fū the name 'Tachi'.

Jūgo became 'Torimaru'. The 'Tori' part of his name came from his love of birds, as it was written with the kanji for 'bird'. 'Maru' was a common suffix attached to boys' names. Kimimaro became 'Chū', written with the kanji for 'loyal (to one's duty or master)', the reason for which needed no explanation. Haku became 'Shiro', as both names were written with the kanji for 'white'.

Zabuza became 'Rōnin', meaning 'samurai without a master'. It fit, since he wielded a big-ass broadsword and called no man 'master'. Suigetsu claimed the name 'Manmaru' in honor of his deceased elder brother, Mangetsu. Chōjūrō was given the name 'Hanatarō', since it was the name of another manga character that was just as shy and retiring as Chōjūrō.

Anko took the name 'Aiko', with the kanji for 'Ai' meaning 'love' and 'ko' being a popular feminine diminutive suffix. Rōshi became 'Yon', with the kanji for 'four', the reason for which should be obvious. Utakata became 'Roku' with the kanji for 'six' for the same reason as Rōshi, while Sara became 'Chikurin'.

It didn't take long at all to get to Tokyo, only a day and a half, and so far everything was going well. Everyone in the Family had done a henge to give themselves black hair and eyes, along with golden skin. Asking around got them to Honda-san's place at the end of the second day, and so it was with great trepidation that Kuro, having dispelled the jutsu, knocked on the man's door.

The door was opened by an elderly woman with grey hair, and Kuro, understanding more of the customs now (and being the only one who could say anything at that moment), bowed low. "Excuse me, obā-san," she said politely. "My name is Romi Greene, and a few years ago I was kidnapped from my home. I managed to get myself away, along with a few others, but I need to get to my family, and my tō-chan knows Honda-san. Does he still live here?"

The woman's eyes widened in alarm and she quickly ushered them inside. Honda-san, a man with a long face and a comb over that surprisingly didn't look ridiculous on him, looked up and stared in shock as he took in Kuro. "Romi-san?" he gasped.

Kuro bowed. "Honda ojī-san," she greeted. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, but is there any way I can contact my family?" Honda-san, usually a very composed and polite individual, nodded and immediately stood. A stony, determined expression made its home on his face on his face as he strode out of the room hurriedly and returning with a phone – Romi's family wasn't home, but he left a message on their answering machine.

"I really am sorry for the intrusion," Kuro said, bowing once more after he had finished, "and for bringing so many people to your home. We have a place to stay, but I needed to get in contact with my family, and you were the only person that came to mind." Honda-san politely waved off her apology and began to question her about her whereabouts.

Kuro, having already settled on a story, kept it simple by saying that she had amnesia of the event and only knew that she had been somewhere underground and wouldn't have been able to escape without the help of the others. They all agreed, though instead of the others feigning amnesia, they simply filled in a few bits and pieces – not enough to get anyone arrested, but enough to satisfy the Honda family.

Naruto, or 'Toru', happily began babbling away about how he'd never seen so many people in one place before – everything looked different and a bit weird; there were hulking metal things on wheels zooming down the roads; the buildings were weird and made of metal and glass; there was an oddly-shaped tower with red lights adorning it. The Honda couple, taking that to mean that he'd never seen civilization, became increasingly sober.

Honda-san's wife served them all dinner, while Honda-san himself insisted on their staying the night. He also informed them that he was notifying the police the next day. Kuro wiped some stray tears from the corner of her eye and sat quietly, Fū on her lap.

It would have been a rather awkward dinner if not for Rōshi, Naruto, and Fū. Rōshi, polite as always, made cheery small talk with the Honda couple, lightening the atmosphere quite a bit. Naruto and Fū, with their childish enthusiasm (though they remembered to use their inside voices), happily jabbered away about anything and everything.

Fū, Chōjūrō, and Naruto turned in after dinner, two of them excited by sleeping on an actual futon. All three of them fell asleep rather quickly, piled up atop one another. Kimimaro, Jūgo, and Suigetsu were put to sleep soon after (Suigestsu with quite a bit of grumbling), and Kuro, quite tired, joined them – though she curled up like a cat on an armchair.

The rest of them went to bed later on, but since the futon was somewhat full, only Rōshi squeezed himself onto it (since his back would annoy him if he slept on the floor). Zabuza fell asleep leaning up against the futon, and Anko plopped herself on the floor, stealing Kuro's blanket (she was fast asleep; she wouldn't notice).

It was an hour or so after the sun had risen when Romi's family called. They were buying tickets for the next plane from Japan to America and taking her home. Honda-san called the police after Kuro tearfully talked to her parents and siblings and told them about her 'other' family.

The police came and went, interrogating them all about how they escaped and from where they escaped. When the tickets came in the mail, they went to the airport. And boy, was that an experience. But that was a story for another time.

They sat in the plane, and for once, there wasn't an oppressive silence: Kuro happily curled up into Anko's side and began to lecture her and everyone else on her family. "But the most important thing to note is that we're all very close. They'll take this one of two ways: either they'll hole me up and never let anyone see me again, or they'll thank you profusely for taking care of me." She rubbed her face into Anko's shirt, like a cat.

"They're super protective of me; I didn't find out that a hooker was a synonym for a prostitute until I was…twelve or thirteen, I think. I only knew the basic mechanics of 'baby-making' until a couple years later." Anko snorted and shook her head. "You were really sheltered, weren't you?" she said, patting her hair. Kuro nodded, her cute smile still on her face. "Mmhm," she hummed. "I still love my mommy and daddy, though; nothing'll change that."

Rōshi smiled from across the aisle. Jūgo, who sat on Kuro's other side, gave her a long look. "You…were raised a civilian…weren't you?" All of the adults' faces snapped towards Kuro at this question, things finally beginning to snap into place. Kuro, ever oblivious, nodded happily. "Yup. I only started my training a few years ago… How old was I, fifteen?"

Before they could reflect more on this new tidbit of information, a loud yell came from the front of the plane and everyone looked curiously ahead. "What's going on?" Fū exclaimed in question as the plane began to shake. Several people screamed before the plane was taken back under control. A voice came over the intercom – a voice with a suspiciously Western accent.

"This is a hijacking. Your pilot is dead. Cooperate and you will survive. Dissent and you will die." The screams really started up this time.

Kuro's heart began to race in utter excitement. Tarantu wasn't anywhere nearby to calm her – in fact, she was back in the other dimension. As it was, Kuro could feel the bloodlust for which her clan was infamous rise up in her. "Toru, Tachi," she barked at Naruto and Fū, who immediately turned towards their mother. A huge grin threatened to split her face in two. "Let's go kick some butt." She assuaged any protests by reminding the others that terrorists relied on, well, terror to get the job done. They weren't ninja. They probably weren't trained in fighting – and definitely weren't trained the way the Family had been.

Stares and whispered followed them as they made their way up to the pilot's cabin. Two big bruisers stood by the entrance, ignoring the terrified first class passengers as they wielded daggers.

Kuro snorted, making them turn to her. "Daggers? Really? At least you didn't bring guns – the poor airplane might not survive a gunfight." She frowned, putting a finger to her chin. "Well, it would, but the cabin pressure would plummet, and that would suck. Toru, left; Tachi, right. Capture, don't kill." As soon as those words left her mouth, Kuro's children jumped towards the men with inhuman speed.

The fight was over quickly. The brutes obviously didn't know how to use the daggers, and a well-placed kick was enough to disarm them (though there was a sickening crack as Fū's foot met with her opponent's wrist; Kuro didn't suppose wrists were supposed to bend that way). Kuro grabbed the daggers and watched as her children tied up the terrorists with copious amounts of ninja wire, which they produced from the seals on their arms. Not finding any other weapons, Kuro requested they stand guard while she went into the cabin.

"Knock, knock!" she sang, bashing the terrorist over the head with the pommel of a kunai she'd stored in the seal on her arm before tying him up with ninja wire. As soon as the man went down, though, the plane began to shake violently once more. She quickly finished up with the man and looked for the auto-pilot switch. It took a tad bit too long for comfort, but she found it and turned it on. Then she reached for the intercom.

"Hello, everyone, this is a fellow passenger speaking. Hi! Well, the terrorist attack has been successfully nullified, but I'd like for all of the stewards and stewardesses to be up in the pilot's cabin really quickly." She turned off the intercom and looked over the controls.

It was so complicated! Who needed half of these little switches and levers? Kuro quickly found a few things that looked familiar, like the altitude meter and the thingy that showed the plane's balance. The door to the cabin opened then, and she turned to see a prim little Japanese woman in a stewardess's outfit. Behind her were a few others. She nodded them in, and the door closed behind them.

"Okay," she said cheerfully, completely unconcerned with the goings-on. "Who knows how to fly this contraption?"

One of the men fainted.

Kuro frowned. "S'okay; I mean, I could probably do it, but the only experience I've had were three or four flying lessons in a plane without an engine."

Another thud was heard as a stewardess passed out.

Kuro sighed. "Riiight. Crap." She turned around. "Okay, we've got time. According to this," she tapped the electronic map, "we've got a while before we have to land. I can at least do that." She paused. "Does anyone have an idea how to contact the people on the ground?"

The first Japanese woman raised her hand. "Yes; would you like me to call them?"

"Please?" Kuro asked, uneasy for the first time. She was in way over her head. The flight attendant nodded, fiddled with the radio, and held the receiver up to her mouth. Only the slight shaking of her hands betrayed her nervousness.

Meanwhile, Kuro sent the others back out to go back out and continue with their duties. The two unconscious attendants were awoken and told to take it easy. The body of the deceased pilot was covered with a blanket.

"They want to speak with you," the lady said. Kuro nodded and took the receiver. "Hai?" The voice on the other end crackled and popped with static. "Who is this?"

"Romi Greene; I'm American."

"What is the status of the terrorists?"

"Detained."

"What kind of experience do you have with flying?"

"Three or four gliding lessons in a plane without an engine. I'll have to be talked down, but I've got rudimentary knowledge. If we hit any bad weather or turbulence, I'm pretty sure we're fucked."

"It'll be okay, Greene-san. Please try to remain calm." Kuro took a few deep breaths. "All right."

"Can you give me your position?" Kuro looked over at the electronic map and gave the man on the other end her coordinates. "We're heading East-North-East."

"Okay, you should be fine for a while. My name is Daichi – Yamada Daichi."

"Nice to meet you, Yamada-san."

"Likewise. Why are you travelling?"

"I got kidnapped – I'm heading back home to reunite with my family. I haven't seen them in over two years." There was a pause before Yamada replied. "Wow. That's insane. I'm sorry this had to happen."

Kuro grinned. "It's okay. I'm just a bit more worried for my family – my 'new' one, I mean. While I was gone, I found four beautiful children that I was able to adopt. Tachi and Toru are keeping watch over the terrorists at the moment. They're both only five, but they're highly trained in martial arts and are fully capable of taking care of the terrorists."

"Who else is there?"

"Torimaru and Chū are both eight, and Shiro, a friend's son, is as well. Manmaru and Hanatarō are students of the sword – their sensei is Rōnin. Then there's Aiko, who has an obsession with dango and pointy objects, Yon, the ojī-chan of the group, and Roku, who's really quiet and fifteen years old. The last one is Chikurin, who's been my friend the longest."

"Sounds like a big group." Kuro smiled. "Yeah; I'd never have gotten through what I had without them." There was a long pause in which Kuro realized the man probably had orders to keep her calm and talking (not that she was complaining). So she took initiative to make the man's life a bit easier.

She began to recount how she'd met each and every one of her 'Family' members. She paused when she got to Fū. Wasn't adoption a grueling process? How had she gotten Fū so quickly? Was it an illegal adoption since she probably didn't go through the right channels? She continued on, though, until she noticed that she needed to adjust the plane a bit; she mentioned it to Yamada-san.

"All right, you know how to turn?"

"Yeah; I'm used to slightly different controls, but if you talk me through a little bit and I get a feel for it, I'll be fine." So Yamada-san did – he explained which buttons did what function, how to lift the plane back up to an acceptable altitude, and all that jazz. Kuro was extremely grateful to the man.

It was a testament to her oddness that, despite her anxiety disorder, Kuro felt little apprehension and instead felt adrenaline. She'd get panic attacks over something like losing a jacket, and even then, not too often anymore.

Throughout all of this, the stewardess stood behind Kuro, providing support and keeping an eye on the terrorist. Kuro turned back to her and gave her a grateful smile. "I'm Romi," she said quietly. "Romi Greene."

The woman smiled. "I'm Suzuki Kyoko; it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Thank you for all the help."

"I should be thanking you. Heaven knows what these men might've done." Kuro chuckled. She, Suzuki-san, and Yamada-san conversed quietly until it was time to land. Kuro actually did this pretty well, what with Yamada-san talking her through and her prior experience in a glider. It wasn't the best landing, and everyone got jostled terribly, but everyone got down (they were ready for her, and made sure she didn't have to taxi on the tarmac).

When everyone got off the plane safely, Kuro finally gave in: she broke down and cried.

A/N: THIS CHAPTER DID NOT WANT TO BE WRITTEN! Damn, I'm so sorry; this took ages, and the plane scene came out of nowhere, I swear! Well, everything in this story is pulled out of my ass. I never saw this plot coming. It's interesting to write Taki vs. Fū.