Made of Fail

Chapter Twelve
The Greene Family

Anko pouted. As soon as they'd landed, they were ushered into a small room, away from any cameras or anchormen who wanted a quick scoop. Then some people who claimed they were from the government interrogated them; at least, that's what their translator said. Well, 'attempted interrogation' would be a better term. Kuro stopped blinking for a bit to quickly well up some tears in her eyes and put on a most convincing display of being highly traumatized by the event and wanting to see her mommy and daddy.

Had she not held herself back, Anko would've burst out laughing at the way she'd played them. Of course, the fact that Sara had quietly explained how they'd all almost died sobered her up quickly. "Aah…" she sighed. "I need sake."

Of course, she didn't get sake just then. The government officials tried to interrogate them, but those attempts were quickly shot down by Kuro, who blubbered that she needed them, putting up a convincing enough act that they picked up her 'emotional attachment to the individuals with whom she went through a highly traumatizing event'.

They let them go, and Kuro kept up the act by attaching herself to Anko's side, sniffling a few times and shyly accepting a tissue from an official, giving him a watery smile. After being ushered through the sea of reporters, they were brought to a car with tinted windows and shepherded them into the vehicle.

Anko, of course, thought it was cool and voiced her confusion as to the identity of the contraption they'd just entered. Sara explained what it was, and she was impressed. These people were advanced.

With another sigh, Anko relaxed into the chair, letting Kuro snuggle into her and take a nap (seriously – the girl slept more than a Nara!), but still keeping an eye on their little tagalongs. If there was one thing being a kunoichi had taught her, it was never to trust someone else's government, and seldom even her own.

Utakata, meanwhile, was quietly comforting a suddenly nervous 'Devious Duo', i.e. Naruto and Fū. He put his arms around the two, letting Fū sit on his lap and snuggle against his chest and Naruto bury himself into his side. The rokubi was making snide comments, but that was easily ignored, as per usual. After the two had gotten down from their high from doing 'cool ninja things', they'd realized just how closed they'd come to dying and acted accordingly. With their mother still pretending to be traumatized and Anko having her hands full dealing with her, it was up to him to calm them down.

Utakata was good at that sort of thing. He exuded a sort of tranquility that calmed others as well, and while Rōshi was also a pillar of calm, his carried a sort of grandfatherly quality. He'd sit and talk quietly about inane things, or just relax with them. Utakata, however, wouldn't change at all except for putting a hand on a shoulder or patting a head; he was more stoic. Sometimes the kids would want him for support, and sometimes they'd go to Rōshi. Heck, if they needed a whack on the side of the head, they'd go to Zabuza!

Idly rubbing soothing circles on Naruto's back with his thumb, Utakata sat in silence and tried to find various escape routes the pass the time. He knew Anko and Zabuza were keeping an eye on the people, so he was able to trust him as partners and keep an eye on the environment and his charges.

It took a while, but eventually they reached a nice house. Kuro had long since awoken and spent the time fidgeting and trying to get control over herself. As soon as they parked, though, she jumped right out of the car and ran up the path to the front door. Naruto and Fū were right on her tail, eager to meet their mommy's other family.

She stopped at the front door, her racing heart having nothing to do with her short sprint. Anxiety reared its ugly head, and a knot rose into her throat, making it hard to breathe. Kuro hugged herself, taking shallow, gasping breaths. She didn't know why – there was no logical reason for her to be this anxious – but for some reason, she was. She didn't even need to fake it for the government agents this time.

Seeing his mom have a miniature emotional breakdown, Naruto shared a look with Fū and took initiative, ringing the doorbell. They heard the sound of several people running to the door, which was then wrenched open quickly enough for them to feel a strong breeze.

At the door was a beautiful girl with lightly tanned skin and long, long blonde hair that reached her hips. She had a soft look about her and very round, pouty lips. Behind her was a woman with pale skin and black hair that reached just past her shoulders, and next to her was a tall man with a wide nose, thick lips, and brown curls. Behind them was an older-looking man with white hair and tan skin.

This seemed to be the breaking point for Kuro, as she began to sob and jumped into the pretty girl's arms. The whole family in front of them, now crying, formed a ring around her as they sobbed after their reunion.

It took a long time for all the sobs to subside; the reunion lasted quite a while and in the middle, Kuro had cried so hard she'd gotten a nosebleed of which they needed to take care. When they were all cried out, they detached themselves and sat together in their kitchen.

Kuro's eyes were red, and her voice scratchy, but she had the biggest smile on her face as she introduced everyone. The woman with black hair was her mother, Merry, and the elderly man was her father, Myron. Her brother, Joseph, was the tall boy, and her sister, Robyn, was the girl with the super-long hair. Myron used to speak fluent Japanese, but had forgotten quite a lot of it; however, they all knew French, which Kuro had taught Fū, Naruto, Jūgo, and Kimimaro. Naruto couldn't speak it as well as the others, as he hadn't spoken it as long, but it was enough to hold simple conversations.

After the government agents left (they said they'd come back tomorrow), Kuro got down to business.

"Okay, guys, here's how it is…" and she recounted her entire tale, from the sleepover to the hijacking. Fū jumped in with her own comments when she felt as though her 'kā-chan hadn't accurately described the awesomeness of something.

There was a silence after she'd finished her tale. Then Joseph spoke. "You expect us to believe that?" he asked, a disbelieving smile on his face. "Wow, dumbass." Kuro grinned back at him. "Well, it's true," she defended. To prove her point, she created a shadow clone, with no words, seals, or smoke. Kuro's family jumped. "What the fuck?" Robyn yelped.

Kuro tilted her head back and laughed – in stereo. Then she punched the clone, which fell back and disappeared. With the proof, the Greene family grudgingly agreed that Kuro probably wasn't high the whole time.

"I'm just glad you're okay," murmured Merry. The rest of the family nodded silently. Kuro sighed. "So we're basically here to ask for help. We – and let me finish before you speak, okay? We need to go back – and I mean need to. Taki won't stop until they get Fū back, and I'm not giving her up. We're hoping we won't have to go to war over this, but we want to keep her safe, just in case. So beyond seeing you after two and a half fucking years," she glared at Sara, "we want to know if you can take care of my daughter for us. And I promise to visit – often. But I can't stay – I've made a life for myself there, and I'm happy. I don't need my medication, and I've made friends, and…"

Kuro sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest and leaning her head on them. "…And, well, I've gotten really far in life. I'm making a change and helping people, and since I'm important there, people actually listen to me. You know how I've always wanted to help people – and there, I'm able to make a fresh start. I can be who I've always wanted to be. I mean, I can do that here, but I can do more good there. I have connections. I've got another family, and we take care of each other. I'll visit once a week. I have a stable source of income. I'm friends with the leaders of most of the world superpowers there.

"I've made a life and I'm used to it. I love it here, but I'm needed there," she finished. There was a long silence. Merry suddenly stood and strode out of the room and down the hall. Myron looked at them before excusing himself and hurrying after his wife. Kuro sighed. "She's pissed."

"Well no shit," Joseph retorted. "You show up out of fucking nowhere, tell us you've got a job where you could get killed, say there might be a war where you'd be on the front lines, and say you have to go back, but you're leaving your kid and you'll visit? Romi, if it was just us, Mom would throw a fucking tantrum."

"Yeah," Robyn added. "Romi, you'll be lucky if she lets you leave the house again after this. I mean, I'm happy for you and all; you're my little sister and I love you, you know? But this is a bit much to take in all at once." Kuro sighed and slumped over. "Yeah… I know." She turned to her other family. "You can undo the henge now," she said softly.

With identical sighs of relief, the whole family returned to their true shapes, making Joseph and Robyn jump. "It's going to take a while to get used to that," Joseph remarked.

Anko sighed and collapsed back into her chair. "Y'know, Kuro, not all of us are stamina freaks; even keeping up a low-level jutsu like a henge is tiring." Naruto and Fū blinked. "What?"

"Really?" Anko rolled her eyes and cuffed them both. "Obviously. You two, Utakata, Kuro, and Rōshi are the biggest stamina freaks here. Zabuza has a hell of a lot of stamina, too, but it's not quite on your level – yours is all natural. So what's easy for you might not be easy for everyone."

The two nodded thoughtfully.

They spent the rest of the time waiting for Kuro's mom and dad to come back talking. Robyn and Joseph detailed how their lives had been following Kuro's departure, making her feel a bit guilty. Robyn had put her considerable ambition to contacting news stations and keeping the search alive. She put off college to try to find her, and worked at a low-end job to make ends meet.

Joseph, on the other hand, was a straight-A student. Kuro's disappearance had kicked him into gear, and he was on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, he'd become a bit of a recluse and didn't have much of a social life at all.

Kuro fidgeted quite a bit. "Well, you can go to college now, right, Robyn? I mean, 'spending two and a half years trying to find my missing sister' would really stand out in an essay, right?" She chuckled nervously. Robyn smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay," she said softly.

Zabuza groaned. "Fuck, not this lovey-dovey shit again." Anko kicked him under the table to get him to shut up, making him roll his eyes.

It took a while, but eventually Myron came back into the kitchen to get Kuro and bring her upstairs to her mother. Merry's eyes were redder than before. "Romi," she said sternly, and a bit loudly. "I'm going to give you a chance to explain why the fuck I should let you go back there and get yourself killed."

Kuro sighed. "Because I've grown up," she said plainly. "I've become an adult and gotten a job. For all intents and purposes, it's just like joining the CIA. I go on missions and come home. And it doesn't matter where I live because everyone grows up, leaves home, and gets a job eventually. This is really no different, except I'll visit more."

"Romi, you will GET YOURSELF KILLED!"

"I haven't yet, and I've been living on my own for two and a half years."

"JESUS CHRIST, ROMI! Just because you haven't been killed yet doesn't mean you won't in the future!"

"Mom, I'm the head of an ancient clan. They won't let me get killed until I've made a nice little family."

"YOU'RE EIGHTEEN!"

"I honestly don't think I'll ever have biological children, Mommy." Once again, Merry stormed out of the room. There was a long silence before Myron quietly sat down next to his tightly wound daughter. Kuro leaned into his side. "She's just scared."

"I know."

"She thinks she'll lose you again."

"I know."

"She doesn't –"

"Jesus Criminy, Dad, I get it." They looked at each other and began to laugh. When they stopped, the atmosphere turned serious again. "I'm scared of losing you, too, Romi," Myron admitted. "I don't think I can handle that again; not now, when I've found you safe." Kuro nodded. There was a short pause as she gathered her thoughts. "You know, there was a man who had terrible cancer. They knew he was going to die, so in an act of desperation, he pinned all his hope on this supposed miracle drug.

"Of course, it took a while to convince the doctors, but eventually they gave in and gave it to him." Kuro smiled. "It was amazing, Daddy. The man got better. The tumors had almost completely disappeared. Of course, that's when one of the doctors found out that the 'miracle drug' didn't work. To test his hypothesis, he replaced the man's medicine with water. There was no difference. The man continued to get better until all his tumors were gone. He went into remission and was discharged."

"What happened then?" Myron prompted, sensing she wasn't done with her story. Kuro sighed. "He saw on television that they found out the drug didn't work, and the hospitals were all throwing away their supply. Overnight, the tumors came back and were bigger than ever. He ended up dying.

"But that's the thing, Daddy. This man got better because he believed he'd get better. When they disillusioned him, he died because he lost faith. If I believe I won't die, then I won't die. So I know I won't die. Mind over matter, Daddy."

Myron didn't speak for a long time. Finally, he sagged. "I didn't think I could convince you," he said humorlessly. "But if that's what you want, then I'll support you." He attempted a smile. "You'll just do what you want, anyway. You always have, you spoiled brat."

Kuro laughed and gave her dad a shove.

"Ooh, ooh, Romi, that's my bad elbow!"

And laughed some more.

It took quite a bit longer to convince Merry. In all honesty, Kuro didn't think she could do it – her mommy always did wear the pants in the family. But she eventually stood down.

Fū didn't want her 'kā-chan to go – she loved her grandparents and her aunt and her uncle, but the bottom line was that she wanted her kā-chan more than anything. But Kuro stayed firm in her decision.

"It's just for a little while, daughter," she said softly as she held her. "This whole thing with Taki will blow over and we'll take you back home, okay?" Fū tried to believe it – she really did. But in her heart, she knew that Taki wouldn't give up so easily.

The goodbyes were drawn out and painfully slow, but the trip back to Konoha was nice and quick. They had all had to stay for a week to give their story to the government and to the press. Kuro let herself be interviewed by NPR, the BBC, and The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (the last two were a lot of fun), but respectfully declined interviews with other news organizations and outright laughed in Fox News's face.

Thankfully, Hiruzen accepted their tardiness, explaining that he'd figured they'd be gone awhile.

"However," he said, "Taki has begun to get aggressive. We're going to be meeting with their leader, Taka Mori, in a week. You'll have to come well-dressed and in traditional clothing." Kuro blinked at this. "I have never worn a kimono before in my entire existence," she said, deadpan.

"That might make it a bit difficult," Hiruzen allowed. "However, I do know a good tailor, so he'll be able to make an outfit for you." They discussed it a little bit longer, and Kuro left to go find this tailor.

Tarantu got the update on the situation in a letter from Anko, dropped through their teleporting mailbox. It lacked her usual flirtatious charm and was rather serious, so Tarantu knew she was worried. Was another war on the horizon?

Gaara walked up to his Okā-san, Sui, his rhinoceros beetle, sitting on his head. "Okā-san?" he asked worriedly. "I still can't feel Fū-chan through the link. Did you find out what happened?" Tarantu turned to him, a tired smile on her face.

"Yes; she's too far away for you to communicate, but she's fine. In fact, she's been in a safe place for a week, now, to protect her from Taki." Gaara nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "Will everything turn out okay?"

Tarantu picked up her son and set him in her lap as she held him close. "It's just for a little while, son," she said softly. "This whole thing with Taki will blow over and Fū will come back home, okay?" Gaara nodded skeptically, but let himself be held.

And he hoped.

Kuro looked at the piece of paper in front of her and at the storefront.

Then back at the paper.

Then back at the storefront.

Then she sighed. "Well, here goes nothing." She walked into the store.

It was clean and Spartan. There was a register, some chairs, material hanging from racks, and a sewing kit in the back – there was everything one needed in such a store. Kuro silently strode up to the counter and rang a bell, which dinged loudly in the small shop. She stood silently in wait.

The bell rang again.

Kuro looked down.

"Sara?" she exclaimed in befuddlement. "When did you get here?" Sara grinned up at her. "I'm a ninja!" she said happily. Kuro snorted. Sara always made her feel better. "You're a whackjob."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The bell rang a third time.

"I heard ya the first time!" an irritated voice called from the back. A small old man with slender spectacles balanced on the bridge of his nose walked out from behind a curtain, grumpily glaring up at them. "Whaddya want?"

Kuro bowed slightly. "Hello, my name is Yin Kuro Tsukiakari, and I've an important event coming up." She blushed. "So I find myself in need of a kimono; you were referred to me, and I was hoping you would be of help."

Sara raised a brow at the formality. Apparently this whole thing was hitting Kuro harder than she'd thought.

The man squinted at her from behind his spectacles. "Hm. So you're that Yin everyone's talking about, huh?" Kuro nodded. "Well, who referred you?"

"The Hokage." The man paused at this and looked at her intently. Then he grunted. "Well, I guess there's nothing for it then. What'd'you have in mind?" Kuro blinked, but went along with it. "Well, I was hoping for something formal – and, well, it's my first kimono, so I'll probably need to get under-things, too."

There was another grunt, so Kuro took that as acceptance.

The whole thing didn't take so long – the man, Ito Isshin, obviously knew what he was doing. He took measurements, compared fabrics, and came up with a marvelous design. The cost, though high, was within their budget and into Ito-san's pocket by the end of the day. As soon as he had what he needed from them, he kicked out both Kuro and Sara so he could work in peace.

Kuro blinked. "Well, that went well."

Sara agreed.

Fū awoke the next morning in her 'Kā-chan's old room – it was nice, with a calm blue color scheme, but it wasn't quite home. So with a sigh, she got up and put on her new clothes. Apparently, people in this dimension dressed slightly differently: no ninja clothing was normal here. Therefore, 'Kā-chan brought along clothing that would blend in more.

Fū looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing black sweatpants and a dark green t-shirt. It wasn't actually different from what most people wore back home, but some of the things people wore there were too odd to wear here; like her jumpsuit. With a yawn, she trudged down the stairs.

It was early enough that the sun was barely up, and Fū frowned at this. Usually the entire family got up to watch the sunrise – she must've been quite tired last night.

Shaking the thought from her head, Fū opened up various cabinets to see what sorts of things she could make for breakfast. She made a face. There was absolutely nothing here she recognized! Well, there were some things: raisins, dry cereal, sugar, salt, that sort of thing. But half of these things were completely foreign to her!

Groaning, she decided to simply go with a banana, peanut butter, and raisins, with a glass of milk. She had finished and was washing her dishes in the sink when Myron came down. "Fū?" She looked up at him. "Bonjour, Pépère!" She greeted. "Is there anywhere to hunt or gather around here?"

Pépère blinked slowly as he looked at Fū. "We could always go to the store," he said with a shrug. "You hunt?" Fū nodded. "Yeah. Maman takes me sometimes, when we hunt for small game. Mostly it's rabbits, but sometimes we go for frogs or fish. Do you not hunt?"

He shook his head and went to go pour himself a bowl of cereal. "No, never," he admitted. "I'm glad to just go to the store to get something."

"We've never gone to the store before."

"Never?"

"Nuh-uh." Pépère shrugged. "It must be tough living like that."

"Not really. It's fun. We cook over an open fire and wash in the stream – Maman even makes us lye soap to use – and hunt and gather our own food. We only buy things like rice and flour." Pépère nodded in acceptance and looked over at her again. She was crouched on the counter next to the sink, washing her plate and knife. He chuckled and poured milk into his cereal bowl.

After Fū finished washing her dishes, she got to work on the perpetually messy counter, putting things away and wiping it down. Really, there wasn't much else to do around here. There was always something to do in the forest or around Konoha, and it always kept her busy. But here, these people just sat around. How could they keep busy without training or hunting? Really, these people were weird.

She got finished around the time Pépère was finishing his breakfast, so she took his bowl and spoon and washed it before leaving it to dry in the rack. "Pépère, what are we going to do today?"

Pépère sat back in his chair with a grunt. "Well, I don't have anything on the calendar… I did the laundry yesterday… The dishes are clean… The house is clean…" He looked down at Fū. "There's really nothing," he admitted. "Ever since you and the others came, I've been caught up with all of my chores. What would you like to do today?"

Fū grinned. "Can we go to a forest? I'd like to see what kinds of insects you have here." Pépère agreed.

After they took Joseph to school, they went to a trail nearby. Fū, under a henge, happily ran into the forest. "These trees are small!" she exclaimed.

"What kind of trees are you used to?" Pépère laughed. Fū stuck her tongue out at him, but grinned anyway and ran up a tree, forcing Pépère to calm his racing heart. She was only up there a few moments before she squealed in happiness. "Look, Pépère! A walkingstick!"

"Fū!" he called back up. "Get down from there!"

"Why? I'm totally safe. See?" And she hung upside down from a tree branch from her feet. Pépère seemed to take it in stride, but still needed to lean against the tree to steady himself. "I can see that, Fū, but it frightens me to see you up so high. I'd really appreciate it if you came down."

She sighed, but acquiesced. At least she found a new insect. It'd be a useful spy.

She hoped the others were doing all right.

It was a story.

Each stitch, each thread, told its own story. Woven together, it created a scene from paradise: wolves of all colors and ages played by a stream, seemingly dancing to an unknown tune – a tune too heavenly to be heard by mortal ears. The stream babbled and ran, water rushing over and around stones on the river bottom and giving a home to fish swimming beneath its clear surface.

Trees in the background were lush and green of various hues, from a golden green that thrived in the moonlight to the bright green sprouts of spring to the dark, dark green of matured leaves that gave an air of ancient wisdom. In the trees, hiding behind the leaves, one could catch glimpses of mysterious felines with piercing eyes as they stalked from branch to branch.

Behind the trees was a full moon casting its silvery rays through the scene. Moonbeams caressed the earth beneath the darkened sky, dotted with billions of stars.

Kuro released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding as she looked at herself in the mirror. This amazing scene on the silk had been turned into a kimono – a kimono she was wearing.

Underneath the kimono, poking out from underneath at the neckline, was a pitch black hiyoku (basically the under-kimono) that proved the night sky on the kimono was not black, but rather an impossibly dark blue. A thick black maru obi cut the scene on the kimono in half, but didn't cut out anything of importance – most of the scene was beneath the obi, while the only thing above it were some tall trees and the sky, along with the silhouette of a single bay cat. It was tied in the back with a Tayeta knot, which looked like a large bow. On her feet were plain white tabi socks with formal, fabric-covered zōri sandals.

Ito Isshin scurried around her, making adjustments here and there with bobby pins. It was three days before the big meeting, and he was just making some final adjustments. Sara had supplied the fabric, having found it in one of her many collections o' random shit (she claimed) and insisted he use it.

"All right, I'm done. Go change." Kuro nodded her understanding and walked over to the changing room before disrobing. Off came the kimono…

…and the obi…

…and the hiyoku…

…and the hadajuban…

…and the koshihimo…

…and the datejime…

…and the susuyoke…

…and the nagajuban…

…and the tabi…

…and the zōri.

With each item she took off, she made sure to carefully hang it on the supplied hangers or otherwise take care of it. She really didn't want to ruin it. Or piss off Ito-san. He was a very grumpy little man.

Kuro smiled. Now all that was left was the hairdo!

It was the day of the meeting. Kuro and Sara had spent two and a half days travelling with the Hokage and his escort, which consisted of at least three full ANBU teams, one of whose was a certain mask-wearing, eternally late scarecrow. Kuro made it a point to greet him as 'Wallflower-kun' and comment that if she hadn't heard him speak that one time, she'd think him mute, but perhaps he was a selective mute.

She'd let him deal with the fallout.

As they were travelling in trees, Kuro had put her hair up in a high braid so it wouldn't fly around all over the place. 'Maybe I should cut it…just a little…'

And she ran headfirst into a tree.

"Ro!"

"Nyu~n…" Kuro fell back onto a branch, swirls in her eyes and her mouth comically open. Sara jumped down and shook her from side to side, making her wobble to and fro. "No!" she cried out dramatically, hugging Kuro to her breast. "My love! You promised you would never leave me! Cruel is the god who would take away from this dark earth such a wondrous gift to man!" Two rivers of tears ran down her face.

"Sara," came a muffled voice. "Your boobs are really soft." Sara shrieked and jumped away, leaving Kuro gasping for breath. "I couldn't breathe, you bitch!" she exclaimed, a comically angry expression on her face. "I nearly died!"

"Kuro, Sara, can we keep going?" a voice asked, its tone a mix of irritated and amused. The two looked up with a wide-eyed look of childish guilt on their faces to see Hiruzen looking down at them with his arms crossed. Kuro pointed to Sara suddenly. "She started it!" she yelled before jumping away.

"Oi! You started it!" Sara was answered by Kuro's maniacal laughter. Hiruzen sighed. "I suppose that's a 'yes'."

And they continued onwards.

They reached Taki the night before the meeting. Kuro immediately unpacked, showered, got dressed in her footsies, and collapsed on top of the covers as soon as she was shown her room. Sara had chosen to room with her, and so they both slept together.

And in the next room over…

"So… Wallflower-kun, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up."

The next day was the day of reckoning. Kuro woke up and brushed out her hair before having Sara help her put on her new kimono. It had been put in a special storage seal she'd created to keep any item stored within it in a state of suspended animation. The result: no more spoiled milk or creases in clothes.

So on went the kimono…

…and the obi…

…and the hiyoku…

…and the hadajuban…

…and the koshihimo…

…and the datejime…

…and the susuyoke…

…and the nagajuban…

…and the tabi…

…and the zōri.

They had decided not to do anything with her hair and just letting it hang down in a single, thick sheet tucked behind her ears. They did, however, even up the ends to give it a more professional look. So with a sigh, Kuro took one last look in the mirror and walked out of her room and to the room where the meeting was to take place.

In all honesty, Kuro could get away with wearing anything – her ancestors had lived so long ago that their traditions had died out and no one (save Sara, of course) remembered them. Therefore, she could show up in her underwear, snorkels, and a swimming tube shaped like a duck and it would be accepted as her clan's tradition as no one had any way of proving otherwise.

Of course, Kuro chose to go truly traditional and wear a furisode kimono, with its long, swaying sleeves that practically touched the ground, and stick with what her ancestors had done. She knew it was time to be serious, and to be there decked out in time-honored Yin regalia would help with the intimidation factor.

She would do whatever it took to help her baby stay safe.

Gathering her courage, Kuro opened the door to the meeting room at exactly five minutes to ten.

Hiruzen was there, seated on a cushion at a small table. He looked up as she entered, and his brows raised. "Well, Yin-dono, you look very well. I knew I made the right decision by sending you to Ito. He'd not have let you leave without proper clothing."

Kuro hid a smirk behind a delicate fan with the design of five running wolves dashing across. She knew exactly what he was doing. "I thank you very much, Hokage-sama," she said with a slight incline to the head in lieu of a bow. She was using the extremely formal style of speech, yet still making it sound as if she were talking to an equal. Being an actress really paid off sometimes. "Ito-san was more than adequate, and I believe I will be using him more often if he continues to turn out such a high quality of work." She walked towards the table silently, taking small steps and keeping perfect posture, with her chin slightly elevated.

Sitting on a cushion beside Hiruzen with her hair and kimono trailing behind her, she closed her fan, laid it on her lap with her hands folded over it, and waited.

It was precisely ten o'clock when the leader of Taki came in.

Taka Mori was a tall man who had a proud air about him. He had short brown hair and piercing black eyes, and wore battle robes. Kuro gazed upon him in boredom mixed with a bit of contempt – the contempt wasn't hard to add into the mix.

"Hokage-dono; Yin-dono," he greeted in a gruff voice. They both stayed seated and inclined their heads slightly in lieu of a bow. "Taka-dono," they greeted, Hiruzen with a relaxed smile and Kuro quite clipped and coldly.

'Oy vey; it's like Good Cop/Bad Cop.' The thought would have made her chuckle in any other situation. She made a mental note to laugh about it later. At the moment, she'd pay attention to her surroundings. She reopened her fan and held it in front of her mouth.

She couldn't see a single ANBU.

Damn, they were good.

"Would you like some tea?" Taka asked. Hiruzen accepted the offer, while Kuro declined. 'I hate tea…' she thought to herself in irritation. 'How can I fit in if I don't like tea? Everyone drinks tea! Fuck it, I'm Kuro. I do what I want.'

Getting back to the present, Kuro snapped her fan closed. "I believe we've put aside enough time for the pleasantries. We all know why we're here, and I'd like to get down to business," she said in her clipped, cold voice, still using the formalities and yet putting just enough venom and condescension into it that it sounded borderline insulting.

'…because this kimono is damn uncomfortable.'

Taka nodded, but his jaw visibly tightened. Kuro hid another smirk behind her fan.

"Now, now, Yin-dono, we mustn't spurn Taka-dono's hospitality." Kuro's lips thinned behind her fan in faux annoyance. "Of course," she said, increasing the condescension in her tone just a tad while removing the smallest bit of venom. "My apologies, Taka-dono, I am simply on edge today. I hope for a mutually beneficial agreement between our villages."

It seemed to be working well. Kuro really was on edge, though; she walked a fine line between politeness and outright rudeness, and here, making the wrong move could cost lives. It was a damn good thing she could act. The only thing left was not to overdo it.

Tarantu had a bad feeling – a very bad feeling. It made her skin prickle and itch so much it toed the line between discomfort and pain. She shivered and sat back down in her chair. "Okā-san?" Kankurō questioned worriedly. She and the kids were in the middle of playing a board game.

"Oh, is it my turn?" she asked distractedly. "Sorry kids; Okā-san needs to lie down for a bit. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" The three kids shared a look, but before they could think of anything to say, Tarantu had left the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm getting Yashamaru. Who's with me?"

Yashamaru gave Tarantu a cursory examination to find that…well, nothing was wrong. "Well, you're right, Tarantu-kōhai," he said quizzically. "There's nothing physically wrong with you. What were your symptoms again?"

Tarantu leaned back into her chair, bringing her knees up to her chest. "There's…this feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like it's being pulled down by a weight… My heart's leapt up into my throat, and I'm short of breath. My skin prickles and itches so much it hurts…and I've got this horrible…horrible feeling of foreboding. Something…very bad is going to happen that'll upset some balance somewhere."

Yashamaru looked at his friend in worry. This was very bad. It obviously didn't have a physical reason, which only left psychological. If it appeared out of the blue like Tarantu had said had happened, it would be near impossible to fix without finding the root cause. There wasn't any sign of genjutsu, either. Withholding a sigh, he gave Tarantu an encouraging smile. "Well, I'm sure it'll blow over soon. It's probably just worry."

She didn't need to know that he'd be poring over his medical journals well into the night.

"Well, as Yin-dono has suggested, I suppose we should get to the point," Taka said neutrally. "Your adoption of the container of the Shichibi no Kabutomushi –"

"Fū," Kuro cut in. Taka looked sharply at her. "Excuse me?" Kuro looked at him with her imperious gaze, lowering her fan to reveal her face, making her point clearer. "My daughter's name is Fū. I mean no disrespect by saying this," which, of course, meant that she hoped he felt disrespected anyway, "but you must recall that we are not simply dealing with an unfeeling weapon of mass destruction. We are dealing with a human being – a little girl – with her own thoughts and feelings, her own dreams.

"You and I have very different hopes for the outcome of this meeting: you wish to have your weapon back in your hands, while I simply wish for my daughter to be safe and happy at home. It is unfortunate that our goals happen to offset one another, but it is important to keep in mind that Fū is the one who will be the most effected by all of this. Therefore, we must keep her wellbeing in mind also."

Hiruzen hid a smirk behind his pipe. She had laid it all out on the table, keeping her words neutral and her tone even the entire time, despite very obviously chastising him and scorning his lack of ability to care for a child. Was she truly new to politics? Kuro was playing her role surprisingly well.

Clearing his throat, Hiruzen agreed. "Alas, it is true," he said. "Without a way of safely separating the two, we are stuck bargaining. As Fū is the one being bargained, we must be sure to uphold respect for human life."

"That is true," Taka conceded, realizing that he was definitely not in control of the situation. "However, it is also true that whoever holds her gains a great asset to his village. Since Konoha already has a jinchūriki, it would upset the delicate balance of power amongst the nations."

"And yet," Kuro reminded him, "both our villages are allied. We already have two jinchūriki combined, and in this case, we still have two jinchūriki combined." She felt no need to point out that Konoha had four jinchūriki at this point in time, plus whatever Sara was.

Hiruzen agreed. "Konoha and Taki are allied, and I can assure you that as long as the Will of Fire runs through Konoha, we will keep our allies protected with all of the manpower we can spare. Our forces combined would be the same, whether our jinchūriki are in your hands or ours."

Taka nodded jerkily. He realized that with the two of them working together, he had a slim chance of regaining his footing in this political dance. He needed to find some leverage, and quickly.

"That is a fine furisode you're wearing," he remarked suddenly, eyeing Kuro's kimono. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion at the sudden change in topic. "The compliment is appreciated, Taka-dono… However, I must ask what relevance that has to our discussion?"

"Only unmarried women wear furisode. I had wondered why you were wearing it."

"This line of conversation has become quite invasive, Taka-dono," Kuro said, her voice becoming more clipped. "Is there a point you are trying to make, or do you just delight in frivolous gossip?" But Taka was unfazed. He had a lead, and he was following it.

"So you are unmarried… It's a shame. I had thought a woman of your beauty and class would have found a husband by now." Kuro lifted her chin to look down her nose at him. "True women do not require a man to make them great."

'I'm only eighteen, you fucking cradle-robber! And I look a hell of a lot younger than that!'

Taka looked surprised that she had come up with a comeback so quickly, but plowed forward. "Since you do not have a husband to return to, I propose a trade. You shall spend half the year in Taki, and half in Konoha."

Kuro looked to Hiruzen for guidance. His face was carefully neutral as he gazed back. The ball was in her court. She took a deep breath and looked back sharply at Taka. "Unacceptable," she said in a clipped tone. "Six months is an improper amount of time. One week, at the most."

"Three months."

"One moon."

"Two."

"One. And that's my final offer." Taka smirked widely. "It's a deal."

Kuro sat back as Taka and Hiruzen hashed out the details of their agreement. They wrote out an agreeable contract and Kuro, trusting Hiruzen as both her leader and grandfather, signed it as soon as he handed it to her. If the terms were acceptable to him, then they were acceptable to her.

If one ignored the legalese, the contract said that Taka would be able to break the contract whenever he so desired. Kuro would have diplomatic immunity, but would be expected to act with the proper decorum. She would stay for one full lunar cycle during the spring, during which time she would have to stay in the public eye. No ninja duties would be imposed upon her, and she would be allowed to continue her duties as head of the Yin clan during this time. The contract was set to be renewed in five years.

Kuro stood and gave Taka-san a tilt of her head in farewell, leaving the room behind Hiruzen. As soon as they were back in the visitors' building, Kuro sighed and leaned against the wall, looking blearily up at him. "Did I do well?"

Hiruzen gave her a proud smile. "You did more than well, Kuro!" he said happily, lighting his pipe. "Usually these things take a lot longer, and more than one visit. We were able to come to an agreement very quickly thanks to your help." Kuro beamed at the praise.

"I'm a bit wary of Taka's intentions regarding you, you must understand," he added seriously. Kuro sobered quickly. "Yes, he was acting quite odd when he pointed out that I was unmarried. But really, I'm eighteen! Of course I wouldn't be married yet!" She huffed. "Clan or no clan, I'm not taking that step until I'm ready."

Hiruzen smiled. "Good," he said. "I'm glad you're so sure of yourself – that assures me that he won't be able to try any funny business around you." Kuro nodded. "If he tries anything funny, then perhaps he may soon come to learn that that's not such a good idea." She smirked.

Things would turn out all right.

Tarantu finally calmed down. Her symptoms had all disappeared with surprising suddenness. Yashamaru, of course, gave her strict orders not to overexert herself. He knew he could trust Tarantu to obey him – she was always good at that.

The kids gathered around her, hoping for confirmation that she was going to be all right. Tarantu quickly and happily relieved their worries and took them to bed. Tsubasa, the bird with the frostbitten leg, landed on her shoulder and nibbled her ear affectionately. Tarantu smiled.

Everything turned out all right.

A/N: See? Things didn't take half as long this time! I'm so pleased with the way this turned out; Tarantu's getting more screen time, and the peace talks went very well. What will Kuro do with the time she's forced to be in Taki? Who knows? I'm just the medium. The story writes itself!