Heal Me

Sometimes, to fix the broken, you have to break the rules.

. . .

Chapter 7

This is some kind of crazy dream, Rossi thought as he sat, rattled, in the conference room of the Williamsburg PD.

He wasn't crazy. He had seen Emily, as clear as he saw Morgan and Reid hovering just outside the door. They didn't know what was going on, and perhaps it was better if it stayed that way. He knew that it would shake the team further and, as he knew only too well, there was a point at which things that were shaken constantly broke. Rossi ran his hands over his face and Emily's face flashed inside his mind.

"You're buying' I'm drinkin'"

She had supported him unwaveringly throughout that entire case. Sure, Morgan and JJ had been there, but she had never questioned him on why that case haunted him for so many years. His nightmares only really stopped the night that he realised he was attracted to the stunning brunette. It was just after they'd solved that bombing case in New York. Seeing Hotch covered in blood, both his own and Kate's had really hit home to Rossi how quickly life could be cut short. Emily had accompanied him to Kate's funeral where they had watched, from a distance, Hotch struggle with his guilt. Emily had turned to him at the end, placed a hand on his upper arm and whispered softly in his ear;

"I'd never imagined how much losing someone I barely know could hurt"

Rossi had agreed with her. And he still did. But then he'd never imagined how much Emily's leaving could hurt either. The clenching in his heart was now constant and he feared that it would always be there, a caged bird trying desperately to break free. So close he had been, Emily had stood only a few hundred metres away from him, close enough to hear and just catch the faintest whiff of her intoxicating scent. He groaned and leant back in his chair, eyes still closed so he would not have to face the reality.

"Dave"

He looked up and saw Hotch standing there, face serious and shoulders pushed back. He was in for it now. Hotch didn't know that Rossi knew Emily was alive, much less that they were romantically involved. Rossi stood up and sighed. Before he could speak Hotch held up a hand and stepped forward.

"Don't speak just yet" Hotch said. "There's someone here we both need to talk to"

Rossi frowned and looked over at the door. Morgan, Reid and Seaver stood there, gobsmacked as Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau navigated her way through the precinct. A small smile spread over Reid's face and Morgan relaxed slightly, but Ashleigh remained wary. JJ crossed the threshold and it was not till that moment that Rossi really noticed her. She was dressed in a business suit but the top was loose, flowing about her body. Her face seemed to glow with a radiance that he had seen only once before. When he glanced at her hand he saw the diamond.

"You got engaged" he said, kissing her cheek.

She smiled softly and nodded. "Last week" she admitted. "It was perfect"

"Congratulations" he said sincerely.

JJ nodded, for the second time. Her eyes locked with Hotch's and he nodded once, before turning to the remaining members with a sombre expression. Rossi turned away, he knew the lecture was coming and he was grateful to Hotch for not allowing the other members to play parlay to the event.

"Could you guys give us a moment?"

Out of the corner of his eye he saw them change. Ashleigh merely nodded and hurried off, seeking refuge in the bottom of a coffee cup. Morgan's form stiffened but he obliged, a storm passing over his darkened eyes. Reid stared longingly at JJ but followed Morgan and Ashleigh. JJ sighed and ran a hand over the back of her neck.

"It's different now"

Rossi chuckled darkly. "It always is" he muttered.

Hotch cleared his throat and Rossi turned to face him. JJ looked worried, and was flicking her gaze between the two men. A spark of determination ignited between their heated gaze, each meeting the other's eyes with a fierce steady stare. Rossi knew Hotch was mad, technically no one but the stoic Unit Chief and JJ were supposed to know of Emily's existence. And that was at a push. JJ stepped quickly between them, fire dancing in her blue eyes.

"Hotch please" she said.

"I thought no one else knew" Hotch snapped, turning away from the pair.

JJ sighed. "It was Emily's choice. She knew that I would have to tell you but she wanted one last chance with Rossi" she said.

Hotch whipped around, eyes flashing. Rossi kept his face impassive; he knew that his friend was extremely protective of Emily. The two of them were close friends and Hotch wouldn't want Emily to get hurt by Rossi and his reputation.

"Aaron –" Rossi began.

Hotch smiled weakly. "She finally admitted it to you hey?" he said softly.

Rossi's mouth fell open. "What?"

"Come on Dave I've been close with Emily way before you two even met. She's admitted to me countless times, albeit drunk, how much she cared for you. I warned her against it – knowing the risk that came with you was too great to ignore. But she would not listen"

Anger grew in Rossi's stomach. "You warned her against me?" he snapped.

"I had to" Hotch said softly.

"No!" Rossi snapped. "You chose to. Because of that choice Emily and I only had one night together before Doyle snapped her away from me"

His anger propelled him to step forward. Blood was pounding his ears and he had never hated the younger man so much in his life. The only emotion he'd ever felt was respect and deep friendship, but now as he learnt of Hotch's involvement in the one good thing he had in his life, even it had been for only a few short hours. JJ stepped quickly in front of him, pressing her hands against his shoulders.

"Dave stop" she pleaded.

"Dave calm down" Hotch said. "Emily is important to me and I was trying to look out for her interests"

"What about my interests?" Dave hissed angrily. "What if Emily wanted to be with me? What if I wanted to be with her?"

"Do you really think that it was the thing she needed with Doyle running around?" Hotch demanded.

"Aaron stop it!" JJ cried, whipping around to face her ex-boss with glittering eyes.

"You are such an asshole" Rossi snapped. "You as good as took Emily from me you selfish bastard!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Hotch tried to placate him.

Rossi's vision was blurred with red. His body shook with rage and depression. Emily. He could have so much more time to spend with her and Aaron Hotchner, resident interfering asshole, had taken that chance away from him.

"Get out of my sight" Rossi hissed, a deathly whisper. "Before I shoot you"

Hotch closed his eyes, hanging his head. Seconds passed, agonisingly slow in Rossi's blood red mind. JJ's face had gone pale with fear, the glow from before had been eliminated from her features. Hotch sighed and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Rossi pulled away from JJ, shaking so badly he feared he would fall. He clenched his fist and leant against the table, blocking out the pictures across it's top.

"Dave" JJ said.

"You shouldn't have had to see or hear that" Rossi replied. "I'm sorry"

"I knew it would happen. Emily told me what Hotch said to her. She was hung over, yes, but she remembered"

"Well I am"

"I know" JJ said. She moved towards him, and placed a small hand over his clenched fist.

"How could he do this to me? To Emily?"

JJ sighed softly. "He thought he was doing the right thing. We had no way of knowing how you felt"

"You knew"

"Yes but by that time it was too late"

Rossi sighed. "I've never hated him so much in my life"

JJ blinked. "You want to know something Dave?" she said. "She wasn't mad at Hotch. She was mad because she believed, at the time, that you felt nothing for her. And she was used to being passed over for other, more beautiful women. But that morning when I put her on the plane she was smiling through her tears"

. . . .

Author Note:

Sorry about all the Rossi chapters – I love writing his P.o.V but I realise that this story is also about Emily so the next chapter will be about her. I promise. Sorry about the shortness of this chapter. I'm trying to stretch them out, but I don't want people to be bored.

Please read and review :)
Rossi will invite you to share wine if you do ;)
Much love to all my regulars – cookies for you lovely people :)

Rusty
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