Heal Me
Sometimes, to fix the broken, you have to break the rules.
. . .
Rossi was still talking to JJ when Morgan came striding in defiantly, holding a file and wearing the filthiest expression Rossi had seen on the dark man's face to date. JJ stood up quickly but Morgan ignored her, throwing the file onto the desk silently. Rossi's eyes slid over the file then back to Morgan who was breathing deeply, as though trying to control himself. Reid and Ashleigh were standing on the threshold, sharing similar looks of worry. Hotch slipped through and placed a hand on Morgan's shoulder who shrugged it off. The silence withheld was shattering to Rossi's tender ears and he could hear JJ's shallow breathing just next to him.
"Explain" Morgan hissed.
Anyone who knew Morgan well knew that the quieter Morgan's voice got the angrier he was. That was why when he next spoke Rossi understood why JJ looked faint.
"Doyle's DNA. On our victim" Morgan said, his voice barely audible. "I didn't want to think that anything was up with you but then Jayje arrived and now I'm starting to think that you three know more than you are letting on. Explain. Now"
"Derek" JJ started. "Please, you don't want to go down this road"
"Jayje I know exactly what road I'm going down" Morgan whispered icily.
"Tell them" Hotch whispered.
JJ's eyes rounded so they were like saucers. Rossi's mouth fell open in shock. Hotch and Emily were best friends, was the stoic man with a proverbial stick up his arse really going to jeopardise his friend's safety now? After six months? Then again Morgan looked so angry he was about to explode and kill someone. Reid and Ashleigh moved into the room, confusion floating on both their faces.
"Guys the thing is –" JJ began, but faltered and stared at Rossi helplessly.
"Emily's alive" Rossi said bluntly.
Silence.
Long silence.
Then chaos.
Reid's body began to shake and he shook his head. JJ crossed the room quickly and wrapped her tiny arms around his shoulders, helping to lower the young genius into a chair. She ran her fingers gently over his shoulders, whispering soothing words into his ear. Reid moaned and his shakes began to slow down and Rossi could see beads of perspiration break out on his skin, painting the pale surface. Frankly he couldn't blame the kid.
Ashleigh screamed and collapsed to the ground, shaking and crying.
"No!" she screamed. "We buried her! I spent six fucking months trying not to blame myself for her death!"
Hotch reached for the distraught young woman, his eyes round with pain for Ashleigh. Rossi heard a hum of soothing noises come from Hotch's mouth as he pulled the sobbing young woman to his larger frame and cradled her as she sobbed hysterically. Guilt flooded Rossi; how could he have kept this from them all? To protect Emily. Doyle hadn't found her yet. But God, why did the truth have to hurt so much?
Morgan stepped to Rossi so they were face to face, inches apart from each other. It did not surprise the dark man that Emily was alive. Morgan wanted to know why Rossi knew. Sparks ignited between their heated gazes and battled back and forth for dominance that neither was willing to give the other. From his position on the floor Hotch stared up at the two angry men and JJ bit her lip anxiously as she rubbed Reid's shoulders. Rossi was not going to give Derek Morgan the satisfaction of being beaten. As Emily loved to say, he really was a stubborn bastardo.
"How did you know?" Morgan demanded quietly.
"I don't quite feel that's your business Derek" he said slowly, so as not to let his anger seep out at Morgan's complete lack of compassion towards his fallen team mates.
On the line he could hear Garcia sobbing quietly and Rossi drew himself up to his full height, fixing Derek with a stare that usually felled most arrogant, self-loving Unsubs. Derek remain unmoved, his glare fierce.
"It is my business. Emily was my friend and you kept her from me. You lost the right to order me around the day you jumped in on this little game Agent Rossi" Morgan hissed icily.
"Derek" Garcia cried out, begging him to stop.
"What's the matter Rossi? Not used to someone standing up to you? Get used to it old man! You kept Emily from me and I will never forgive you. You self-absorbed, stuck up, arrogant son-of-a-bitch"
Rossi's anger blinded him and he felt his clenched fists beginning to shake. "You need to stop right there Derek before you say something you regret" he said, fighting anger.
"Nah, you see man I knew Emily for much longer than you did. She would never have taken off without saying goodbye first but since she's met you she changed. You learned secrets and lies at your mother's knee and your brought that same idea onto her you asshole" Morgan said, his voice rising an octave.
He was accusing him of corrupting Emily? After the six months he'd spent in pure agony without her, and the way she looked at him? Rossi thought he'd felt anger when he'd discovered Hotch's interference but this was a new level for him. This was close to the anger he was sure Hotch had felt when battling Foyet, the anger that Morgan felt when he took down Flynn.
"Derek stop!" JJ screamed.
"No!" Derek bellowed. "Why Rossi? What the fuck was so important to you that you felt you were above everyone else?"
"I never made that choice" Rossi admitted quietly, his fingers slipping into his pocket to curl around Emily's key.
"The hell you did! You've been like this from day one, and yeah man I respect you but you go too far this time! You changed Emily you interfering scum!"
That was it. Rossi's fingers let the chain go and he lifted his head and stared Morgan in the face. The team waited, watching him and he knew they were waiting to see his reaction. Ashleigh was peering at him through her tears and clutching onto Hotch's arms for dear life; the man himself looked saddened, pity showing for his old friend's situation. Reid looked calmer but still looked fearfully between Rossi and Morgan, as though he worried which would pull their gun first. JJ's fingers were gripped in Reid's shirt and silent tears were falling down her stained cheeks. Garcia was crying hysterically on the phone at this point, for Morgan had called her and left his phone on speaker.
"Listen to me" Rossi began slowly, carefully trying to reign in the last six months of anger and pain. "I didn't make the choice to become involved in this mess. Emily did"
"Don't you even fucking try that man!"
"No! You shut up!" Rossi shouted, finally letting his anger seep out slowly. "You have said enough Derek and you have hurt Garcia in the process! Now you will shut up and listen to what I have to say"
"You son-of-a-"
That's when Rossi lost it. "Enough!" he bellowed. "Emily came to me! Not to you, me! She came to me and she admitted that she loved me! And would you believe it Derek that for the past year I've been in love with her? These last six months has been the worst test of my life!"
Anger, pain and frustration was swirling inside his heart and it was all rushing to the surface. A tidal wave of pure emotion that had never once been set up when he was any of his three previous wives. It was always her. Always Emily; and now Morgan was here, throwing it back into his face like mud.
"Do you even care how much hardship Emily has been through? For someone who claims to care about her you seem to be extremely wrapped up in how this affects you! Guess what Derek, yesterday would have been our six month anniversary. I bought her a necklace two weeks ago, to convince myself that just because she was in hiding, didn't mean I shouldn't buy her something. It's still at home in my fucking bedside drawer!"
He didn't care anymore. He was over Morgan's righteousness over Emily's death. He could be a bastard all he wanted but all Rossi wanted was Emily. Back with him, smiling and laughing. Hell he didn't give a shit if they weren't together. So long as she was alive and back with them, he didn't care.
"I sleep on the right side of the bed because the left side is Emily's! I set out an extra mug every morning! I read my file on Doyle every god-damned night before bed! And now it's not those three kids in my nightmares anymore – it's Doyle and her! I chose to love Emily Morgan but I did not choose this!"
Morgan opened his mouth to speak but Rossi held up one, shaking angry finger. "I spend every waking moment of my life praying for her to come home to me. To us. How much do you think I fought myself so that I didn't slip and spare you the pain? Let me tell you Morgan it was not an easy thing! Another thing, Emily didn't run because of me. She ran because Doyle kills families. We are her family"
He inhaled deeply. He was on a roll now and the shocked expressions of his team did not serve to slow him. "I love Emily Prentiss and I intend to love her until the day I die. You say you care for her? Prove it. Don't you dare blame this on me because I had no part of this! Doyle is the only one to blame. The only reason you are mad at me is because you're jealous that Emily confided in me and not you!"
There was that silence again. Not as deafening as before, yet still thick and heavy, a heavy blanket over Rossi's pain, over Morgan's rage. Ashleigh and Garcia's sobs were now in a rhythm and Rossi felt his heart thumping heard against his rib cage as he stood, shaking, and facing a very shocked Morgan.
"You and Emily?" Morgan finally croaked.
"Yes" Rossi growled angrily. "And to be frank Morgan I am thoroughly over your attitude these last six months. I understand your anger towards Doyle but not towards Emily. It is not her fault. Yet you seem to be acting like she made the choice just to spite you! Wake up Derek; you're not the only one suffering!"
Rossi took a breath and waved his arm around the room. "Look at them Derek!" he whispered pathetically. "Look at them. Do you not see how scared Reid is? Can you not see how much weight Hotch has had to carry? Don't you understand how Ashleigh cries herself to sleep every night and jumps every time I say Emily's name? Maybe you don't get the burden Garcia holds within herself? Can you see the guilt that JJ caries? Do you see any of it?"
"And you Rossi?" Morgan half demanded. "What about you?"
"I told you. I live in denial – hoping that one day when I look up and out my office door I'll see her walking up the stairs with that little half smile"
. . .
It had been half an hour. Half an hour since Rossi blew up at Morgan and to make matters worse, Rossi himself knew that there was so much more where that had come from. Hotch looked at him, knowing full well that the pain Rossi had allowed himself to show was only the tip of the iceberg. Reid had confined himself to the laptop, on video conference with Garcia, hiding his face and emotions from Rossi as was the norm these days. Ashleigh stuck close to Hotch's side, still shaking but looking fiercely determined. JJ hovered at Morgan's shoulder, seeming to struggle with herself as she tried to offer some silent comfort to the dark agent.
Then, it happened.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
"What was that?" Reid asked.
"I just got an email from an unknown source" Garcia frowned.
"Open it" Morgan said.
"I am doing so and uploading to you now"
The team leant over the small screen and they all reacted at once when they saw the video feed on the screen. Ian Doyle's face was there for them all to see. Garcia's voice let out a shrill shriek of pain. Ashleigh fell back into the chair offered to her by a police officer and JJ jumped as though hit by an electric shock. Morgan uttered a sling of curses and Hotch ran a hand over his face. Rossi felt his emotions riding up again and he repressed a severe urge to break the screen as Reid stared blankly at the monster that had destroyed their friend's life.
"Hello agents" Doyle said.
"Doyle you son-of-a-bitch" Morgan hissed.
"Tut, tut language young man" Doyle taunted, folding his arms.
"It's not my fucking language you should be worried about you sick –"
"Oh shut up you" Doyle snapped. "I'm not here to chat – I'm here to show you something"
"What do you want Doyle?" Hotch bit out.
"Ah Agent Hotchner I'm glad you asked" Doyle purred. "I'd like to show you something, follow me"
The video feed showed Doyle walking slowly down a darkened passage. The only sound came from the crackle of video feed and Ashleigh's soft crying. Rossi had a really bad feeling stirring within his gut and by the looks of his team mates he could tell that they too had the same feeling. Doyle had reached a door and it swung open. The only thing they could see was Doyle and Rossi frowned. Then Doyle hit a switch and light flooded the room. Then Rossi saw her.
Emily.
Bound by thick, ragged ropes to a steel pole she was certainly worse for wear and he saw the collective reaction of rage on the team's faces. Her face was bright red and there was dried blood on her forehead. Her hair hung, lank and dirty, about her bruised face. There was blood on her shoulders and her clothes were torn and ripped. Rossi's heart was thumping wildly against his ribcage and he fought back the urge to yell for his lover.
"Say hello to your team mates Lauren" Doyle said, grabbing Emily by the hair and pulling her head back sharply.
She grunted in pain and met the lens of the camera with haunted eyes. "It's not as bad as it looks guys" she said, forcing a smile.
"If I were you Lauren I would be apologising. I mean they were harbouring a phoney for how long? A woman who crossed every line drawn" Doyle mused.
"Yeah well your lines were never drawn" Emily gasped out as he yanked on her hair.
It took all of Rossi's self-restraint not to cry out with his love as she experienced pain. Instead he contented himself to a sharp; "What do you want Doyle?"
"Now Agent Rossi I thought that would be pretty clear" Doyle hummed. "Lauren – Emily –Julie, whatever she goes by is going die slowly and painfully, for real this time. But not before she tells me where my son is"
"Go to hell you son-of-a-bitch" Emily spat.
"Now Lauren let's not fight" Doyle hissed and drew out a long, silver knife.
"Doyle I swear to God" Morgan growled. "If you harm another hair on her head I will personally kill you myself"
Not if I get there first, Rossi thought acidly.
"Is that a promise Agent Morgan?"
"You can bet your life it is!"
"I told you Ian!" Emily cried. Her voice crackled as the video shook slightly. "Leave them out of this! This is between you and me! Hurting them gives you nothing!"
"Quiet love" Doyle hushed.
Emily lurched and struggled against her restraints. "Doyle stop this now!" she screamed, the sound breaking Rossi's heart. Her gaze locked with his as she spoke next and he knew that her words were for him. "You've hurt me enough. Leave them! It's me you want! You've got me! Kill me!"
Rossi knew what she meant. She was telling him to stay where he was and to not come looking for her. He shook his head. He would not allow the best thing he had in this world to be taken that easily. He had a responsibility to Emily and he was going to fight for her, even if it meant he must sacrifice himself.
"Well now love. I'll take you up on that offer" Doyle whispered. "First – where is Declan?"
"Get fucked"
"Agents it's been nice to talk to you but I must go now. Lauren and I have a date to attend" Doyle said. "Say goodbye Lauren"
Emily was crying and Rossi fought back his own tears as he saw the pain in her eyes. "Remember me" she whispered and he nearly staggered. Those words, he had heard her say those words six months ago.
Then the screen died.
. . .
Author Note:
Sorry for the cliff-hanger everyone! I really had shivers writing this chapter, I didn't know who would be scarier: Morgan or Rossi. What do you lot reckon?
Again please review and I'm so thrilled you all enjoy it so far. The showdown with Doyle is coming! Get your popcorn ready :D
Rusty
xx