Sirius' eyes widened and he sat bolt upright. Remus looked back at him over his shoulder and grinned uncertainly.

"If you'll have me, that is."

Sirius just stared at him for a moment. Silence rang around them.

"Come here," he said finally, his voice breaking into a whisper. "Now."

Remus turned around and slid closer to him on the bed, still unsure of how Sirius was responding. There was so much hidden behind those stormy eyes of his…

Before he could sit back in front of him though, Sirius lunged forward and turned them right-way-up on the bed. He pinned him down to the mattress by his shoulders, leaning in, and muffling Remus' cry of shock in a breath-stealing kiss.

Remus' head was spinning. They'd never kissed like this before. It had always been rough or impulsive or needy. It had never been so… possessive… sensual… tender…

Sirius sucked in all the places he usually bit. Instead of thrusting their hips together in desperate need of friction, Sirius' hands slipped over his hip bones, sliding around his waist and coasting back up his body, caressing his flesh instead of pulling on him.

Remus reached up to slide his hands into Sirius' hair, clutching him desperately closer to his face. The slow rhythmic movement of their mouths and the taste of sperm between their sliding tongues was clouding his mind.

Their lips were sticky and searing when they finally pulled apart to peer at each other again. Sirius pressed their foreheads together again and sighed.

"Sirius…," Remus whispered against the other boy's mouth.

A shiver ran through his body.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

Remus leaned up and bit his lower lip gently before pressing a soft kiss into it and whispering, "I want you to fuck me."

Sirius moaned, mouth gaping slightly, and closed his eyes. It seemed like they had rolled beyond his control.

Remus spread his legs and tightened his grip in Sirius' hair, growling against his lips.

"I want you so bad."

"Remus…"

Sirius blinked rapidly, his glazed eyes struggling to focus.

"Shit… uhm… give me a second…" He struggled and pressed his face into the nape of Remus' neck.

Remus bucked his hips against Sirius and then cast the arousal charm on them both.

"Oh fuck… I was already hard!" he moaned defensively.

"I want you harder," Remus breathed against his earlobe.

Sirius reached down and spread Remus' legs wider by wedging hands behind his bent knees and shoving them apart. Remus bit his bottom lip deliriously, crying out in pleasure. He hadn't been this exposed in front of Sirius since they had finished in the shower weeks ago. All he knew was that he needed Sirius inside him, or to be inside Sirius… He needed that connection more than anything.

Sirius raked his darkened eyes down the length of Remus' body and back up again. His breath hitched before he whispered, "I won't hurt you. I promise."

Remus loosened the grip on his hair and let his hands slide gently around Sirius' neck.

"Please…," he whispered.

Sirius trembled and bent down to kiss him gently.

"Touch yourself for me," he murmured and reached for his wand.

Remus sighed and slid his palms over his own hardened nipples, arching into the touch. His cock throbbed and oozed a droplet of precum onto his stomach. Writhing under Sirius' gaze, he reached down and massaged himself, grasping his balls and kneading them before stroking his leaking shaft and moaning the other boys name.

Sirius was panting in desire as he watched. He dropped his wand on accident and whimpered desperately when he heard his name, reaching down quickly to squeeze his own cock and stave off ejaculating.

Remus felt the tip of Sirius' wand press against his hole and heard him cast two spells. The first resembled a tingling sensation dancing through his nerves. The second felt like something was coating him in warmness.

"Was that the… lubricant?" Remus panted.

Sirius had dropped down, moving his face closer to his pulsing opening.

"Oh, no, I forgot about the lube… That was just cleaning…"

Sirius sat up and summoned one of the lubricants from the trunk.

"At least this comes in handy," he smirked before lowering himself down again.

"I don't understand…" Remus breathed as Sirius uncorked the bottle and poured it upside down over Remus' cock and pucker. The pleasure enhancer washed over him deliciously and he gasped in shock. "Why did you need to clean inside… why…"

Sirius moaned at the huskiness in Remus' voice.

"This is why," he rasped and latched his mouth onto the now slippery entrance, plunging his tongue in and out as he sucked around it.

"Uungh... I'm gonna… Sirius!" Remus couldn't have staved off his orgasm if he'd tried. His cock seared with pleasure at the suctioning, fucking, thrusting sensation of Sirius' mouth on him combined with whatever the hell was in the lubricant. Droplets of sweat slid down his thighs as they shook violently, his head thrown back in ecstasy and semen shooting forcefully from his aching shaft.

Sirius watched as Remus squirmed under him, and he continuing licking him until the last bit of cum had slipped out of his prick. Remus reached past his shaft and tangled his fingers in silky black hair, pulling him closer.

Sirius lifted his wand from where he was and returned the other boy relentlessly back to full arousal. Remus almost screamed in frustration.

Sirius kept reaching down to calm himself from climax, like his dick was going to burst from being so hard. Finally, he seethed through his teeth and wrenched his mouth away reluctantly, shoved Remus' legs back again and thrust the dripping head of his cock against Remus' opening.

They both leaned in and gasped against each other's lips.

"Please... I need you," Remus begged.

Sirius felt his control snap. He braced himself, eyes squeezed shut, as he plunged in with one swift thrust.

They both contracted inwards, loud moans wrenched from their lungs.

"Remus… you're so… Oh my god, you're too tight…I can't…"

"Please… Oh fuck, don't stop…"

Sirius surveyed him with hooded eyes. The first spell he'd used turned any pain nerves into blinding, throbbing sexual pleasure. It was one of the reasons Sirius hadn't bothered with fingering… the more it would have hurt, the better it felt after the charm.

"I'm too close Remus."

"I don't care, just move." Remus moaned wantonly, clutching at Sirius' shoulders.

Sirius let out a thick, struggling growl of surrender and bucked into his impossibly tight ass not even five times before he came completely undone, spilling a thick stream inside him.

Remus arched up into him and intertwined the fingers of one of their hands, coasting the other to a wand next to them. Sirius looked at it, back at Remus' pleading face, and grabbed it up.

He threw the wand aside when he'd finished the spell and locked eyes with Remus.

"I... I can feel you harden inside me," Remus breathed achingly.

Their smoldering connection could have scorched the air around them. Sirius reached down and intertwined their other hands before bringing both up and pinning them to the mattress over Remus' head.

"Tell me you want me," he whispered, thrusting once.

"I want you," Remus moaned, eyes fluttering shut.

"Tell me you're mine." He thrust again, harder.

"I'm yours."

Sirius pounded into him, slapping his dripping balls against his ass.

"Tell me… what you… want."

"Uh…please… fuck me."

Sirius snapped his hips, thrusting in abandoned need. The cum from his first orgasm had dribbled around his cock and sweat slid down their thighs as pure heat emanated from them. Remus was losing his control... with every thrust, his muscles were tightening, his breathing more restricted. Sirius angled his hips differently until the other boy arched up and clenched their hands tighter, nails digging in desperately to Sirius' knuckles.

Sirius felt his peak building and pushed himself up to let go of one of Remus' sweaty palms and grasp the other boy's prick.

"Cum for me," he begged. He fisted the weeping shaft, hand flying as he pumped him over the edge. "Cum with me, baby."

Remus fought for breath and reached his unpinned hand around Sirius' head to crash their lips together as they came, shuddering against each other. Their cocks convulsed and drenched their already soaked bodies in semen, squirting from Remus' entrance as Sirius rode out his ejaculation. A pool of sweat and cum glistened on Remus' chest as he finished shooting all over himself and Sirius' hand. His balls clenching up tight against his body, toes curling in the force of a full-bodied orgasm he'd never known before.

They panted themselves into calmness, sliding their sticky lips together in exhaustion. They were so far beyond kissing anymore and the need for oxygen was too overpowering.

Sirius closed his eyes and tried to lean up. They both moaned as he slid his limp member out. A pool of semen spilled as soon as the tip was clear. Remus gasped at the feeling and Sirius bent down to kiss the creamy tender skin on the inside of his thigh before closing his legs and crawling up his body to lie next to him.

They laid in silence for a while, feeling the ache in their muscles relax. Finally, Remus pulled the blanket over them and pressed closer into Sirius' body as strong arms wrapped around him. He reached up and brushed back a damp lock of raven hair, fingers lingering on his temple.

"Sirius...," he whispered. "I just want to let you know… if we're going to be together…"

Sirius looked down at him through his lashes and tensed hopefully.

Remus managed to smirk in spite of his fatigue.

"…don't ever call me 'baby' again."

.x~*~x.

The following morning felt like the longest three classes of Remus' life. He wasn't able to catch up with Mary in between breaks because their first and third classes were different than each other's. When he did finally catch her eye and signal to her he wanted to speak at lunchtime, she smiled radiantly and blew him a kiss before hurrying after Lily.

He knew he was doing what was best but he still couldn't help but feel sad they would no longer be together. It would be great if they could still be friends, but deep down he knew it wouldn't happen. Mary wouldn't be able to speak with him and even if she did Sirius would be too jealous to allow it. But he'd miss their conversations and how different she was than his almost constant company of other boys.

And another thing was troubling him too… this thing he had with Sirius… they had both so defensively reassured themselves just weeks ago that they weren't queers. Sirius spat the very name out as if it was the worst insult anyone could call him. And yet here they were…

Remus frowned and tried not to let it bother him that he was about to break up with his steady girlfriend to be with a boy. After all, he told himself, every childhood crush of his had been on girls… he had wanked off for the better part of three years thinking about girls… and even though Mary hadn't bewitched him quite like Sirius had, she still excited something inside him that was definitely not strictly platonic.

He glanced around the Ancient Runes class and caught sight of Lola. She was by far the most drooled-after girl in their year. Blonde, curvy, busty, and easy to get. His eyes drifted down her black school robes where she had unbuttoned the collar, cleavage peeking through the opening. He felt a strong twinge of attraction deep inside and it became extremely hard to look away.

Sirius must be the exception; he knew it. No other boy on the planet could have the same effect on him. It was some weird combination of their friendship, history together, and Sirius' insanely good looks that drew Remus to him. And safety… Remus didn't have to worry about being rejected for his lycanthropy… There was safety with Sirius, and that was what tipped the scales in his favor when it came down to choosing between them. Aside from their mind-blowing chemistry, Remus' fear of rejection still ruled his decisions. He didn't want to hide who he was… not from a companion.

The bell finally rang for lunch and, taking a deep steadying breath, Remus stood up and walked out bravely to meet his fate.

.x~*~x.

"Well… it could have been worse, mate," James said sympathetically, hours later. "But I still don't understand why you broke up with her anyways. You two were great together!"

Remus shot Sirius a dark look under the invisibility cloak before whispering back. The black haired boy was lucky the other two couldn't see his face— he looked far too smug to appear natural about this.

"O.W.L.'s are coming up, and fast. I need time to study and it's been too distracting with her around all the time. She needs to study too so… it's for her own good, really."

James snorted.

"At least she didn't slap you or anything."

"Yeah, but it made me feel like shit when she started crying. I felt like the biggest arse on the planet."

"Will you two shut up and focus or we'll never get this over with."

They had all snuck out after dinner to creep up to Filches office. The caretaker had confiscated their entire sack of Zonko's products at the front gates after the last Hogsmead visit, so James and Sirius were anxious to get them back before the birthday party on Saturday.

The only problem was that the invisibility cloak, while still quite large, could no longer adequately cover all four of them anymore. Their plan had been drawn out to accommodate ten minutes, complete in-and-out time.

So far it had taken them fifteen just to sneak upstairs fully covered and get into Filches office to start searching for the bag.

"James, it's no use, we can't search for anything under here, it's too hard to move," Peter whined.

Remus nudged James in the ribs.

"Pete's right, Prongs. We should split up."

"If the git kept his office cleaner then this would have worked." Sirius growled in frustration and knocked over a stack of boxes he'd searched through.

James nodded in defeat and slipped out of the cloak. Peter glanced nervously at the doorway before following.

"So what's the plan? If he catches us, only half the group is gonna get detentions?" Remus called out. The other three laughed.

"Something like that," James said airily as he pulled open the desk drawers.

Remus and Sirius, still hidden under the cloak, walked over to a trunk by the window and tried to open it. It was locked.

"Hold on." Sirius muttered and pulled his knife tool out.

Peter's voice wafted over to them from near the storage room.

"If we are caught… what'll he do to us?"

James laughed.

"I can just imagine his ugly mug if he caught us in here… He'd look so bloody surprised. As if it was so hard to get in here anyways… Nah, he'd probably give us the usual detention, Pete; stop worrying."

"But... wouldn't they be worse than usual? How many detentions would we get for this?"

Sirius had fitted the key into the lock and had almost thrown it open when a wheezing voice suddenly cracked through the air like lightning.

"How about an entire week's detention, Pettigrew? And you as well, Potter!"

.x~*~x.

Remus sipped his hot chocolate, leaning against the steel footboard of a hospital bed. The other two were going to be sneaking into the shack later on after finishing up their detentions and Sirius was waiting for them in the courtyard outside.

Filch had them cleaning the bathroom floors with chlorine and nothing but hand scrubbers— no magic allowed. Their March birthday bash, which would have taken place last Saturday, had been postponed to the 12th to accommodate James and Peter's week-long detention sentence. This announcement had been met with much eye-rolling from the girls and raucous laughter from the boys.

This was the first time in months Remus would be alone to transform. The very idea of not having animals there to calm his mind was sparking fear in his abdomen. He sighed before taking a larger gulp of the cocoa. At least they would be with him for the rest of the night… and the sooner they arrived, the better.

"Are you ready, yet?" Madame Pomfrey said, sliding out of her office.

Remus shook his head, indicating his half-full mug.

"Not yet. Is there…anything new with Dr. Leibrock?"

Madam Pomfrey sighed and cast him an exasperated look.

"No, dear, nothing. But I did see something rather interesting in yesterday's Evening Prophet."

She turned around and picked one of her used papers out of a cork basket.

"Here—I wasn't sure if you'd be willing to…"

Remus took the paper from her and saw a glowing blue advertisement in the bottom corner. It was from Dr. Leibrocks laboratories in Quebec, seeking test subjects to try out the latest Wolfsbane potion.

"You want me to be a lab rat?" he laughed.

Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'll have you know, young man, that the revitalizing potion in that cocoa of yours took over two hundred years to brew properly and required countless hours of sacrifice on behalf of wizards all over Asia! Every breakthrough in modern maladies comes at the price of those brave enough to test them, for the interest and betterment of future generations!"

And with that she turned on her heel and stormed back into her office, slamming the door behind her.

Remus realized his mouth was open and shut it hastily. He glanced around awkwardly before clearing his throat and calling towards the door.

"Er… Madam Pomfrey? It's time to leave…"

There was a scuffling sound before she was pulling the door open again, fussing over the front of her robes and looking flustered.

"Oh, yes, of course—of course, off we go then!"

Remus grinned sheepishly at her and followed her out of the infirmary. There was an odd tension in the air as if Remus had just had a row with his mother.

"Madam Pomfrey…," he said finally, as they crossed the windy slopes of lawn towards the Whomping Willow. "I shouldn't have made fun of the add. It is serious work… and… well, I'll think about it."

She turned to look at him and gave him a warm smile.

"Good lad."

.x~*~x.

It was one of the worst nights Remus had experienced in a long time. He'd roamed the shack for an hour before the moon rose, waiting hopefully for the other three to arrive. But it was in vain. He felt his blood speeding up before there was any sign of them, so he shut himself up in the bedroom and tried to be brave as he faced the inevitable.

Not only did he have to endure the brutal transformation alone, but his thoughts never calmed down. For the entire night, his monster counterpart had no comfort in other animals, and the werewolf reverted back to its old methods of tearing apart its own flesh. It thrashed around feeling rejection and abandonment alongside the usual insanity and violence.

The house took in even more damage than his own body. The door to the bedroom was finally and irreversibly destroyed and scattered down the length of the hallway.

Remus was lying in the middle of its mess when he changed back and realized, outside of the usual pain, that a large splintered steak of it was thrust into his upper thigh. He screamed and pulled it out, trying to put pressure on the blood flow and crawling down the hall into the bedroom.

He pulled some of the shredded linens over himself, shivering in the cold without enough energy to get up on the bed. His face screwed up from the pain and realization that he was still by himself. The others hadn't bothered to come down after their detentions…

"Maybe they decided to have a peaceful night of slumber," Remus thought bitterly as blood seeped into the floorboards under his injured leg. He stared depressingly at his pathetic state and loneliness and whispered a tiny sob into the air.

"Happy Birthday to me."

He sniffed and increased the pressure on his wound. It stung and ached like fire.

Remus heard a clattering noise downstairs and expected Madam Pomfreys voice to call out instead of—

"Moony?"

Remus frowned and called back.

"Peter? I'm up here."

He glanced around perplexedly. There was only one set of footsteps echoing through the house as Peter made his way towards him. He was alone…

"Hey," Remus panted in agony when Peter finally slid into the doorframe. "Er… where were you three? And why are you alone?"

Peter took a shaking breath.

"Ehm…," he said in a higher pitched voice than usual. "Sirius and James are in Professor Dumbledore's office right now… with Snape."

Peter paused as the other boy froze in shock. He gulped nervously before going on.

"Remus… something happened last night."

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