A/N: Here's where Elina's world is turned upside down once again when the fact that Jacob imprinted twice becomes a cruel reality for her. Hopefully you guys like it, please don't forget to review!!! On that note, I actually just wanted to take time to thank two reviewers who review every single chapter and I'm so grateful for it, Lily Swan and 'Me' you guys are awesome and your reviews make my day every time :) Thanks!!
1. Commit
I awoke to the sweet scent of Jacob as he lay asleep next to me. I was huddled against him, enjoying his warmth. My eye lids were heavy, easily adjusting to the now dimly, sunlit bedroom in Edward and Bella's cottage. The sun was going down and another day was almost over. I wasn't even sure what room we were in. Jacob and I ran in here so fast, I'm surprised we even found a bed.
Being with Jacob was the most perfect, beautiful experience. He was very gentle with me, yet passionate. It was special, just like I always wanted it to be. I smiled to myself, recalling every moment of it. It's practically indescribable. It's one of those things you won't really know until you do it yourself. But, when you find that one person you are absolutely, irrevocably in love with, making love with them is one of the greatest experiences you'll ever have.
I sighed and turned my head, placing a kiss on Jake's chest over his heart. I looked up at him to see if I had awoken him. He breathed in deeply but continued to sleep. He is quite the heavy sleeper. I gently slid away, wrapping a blanket around myself as I stood from the bed. I tucked it securely under my arm and left the room to get something to drink.
My eyes were half open as I made my way towards the kitchen. I robotically opened the cabinet, grabbed a glass, placed it under the faucet and watched as water splashed to the bottom, filling it. I obliviously took a sip and heard someone clearing their throat behind me. Jacob must have noticed I wasn't in bed. I smiled to myself, continuing to drink my water and pretended like I didn't hear him. I figured he'd take a more physical approach to getting my attention. I giggled a little as I sipped some more water.
"Elina?" Edward's voice pierced my ears. I choked on the sip of water I had just ingested and was completely shocked and embarrassed.
"Edward" I said, surprised. I began to wipe down some spilled water with a napkin. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, we do live here." Bella chortled. Oh no, not Bella too! I looked down at the blanket that wrapped around my naked body and could feel the heat of blood that collected in the apples of my cheeks. I turned slowly, smiling sheepishly.
"Ha, right..." was all I could manage to say. How would I explain something that was so blatantly obvious? I wasn't sure whether to come out and say it or try to cover it up. Edward and Bella just stood there, smiling, as my cheeks turned as red as a tomato. "Thanks for letting us, um, use your cottage again." I blurted, trying to be polite. Jacob and I had made quite the use of their cottage this past month while they were spending some time on Isle Esme. Although, maybe this wasn't exactly the right time for courtesy.
"You and Jacob don't waste any time." Bella laughed.
"Yeah, um...I'm going to put some clothes on. This would be much less awkward if I weren't naked right now." I said as I walked away, my arms locked around the blanket so that it wouldn't slip off. I could hear Edward chuckle as I walked away.
They are a married couple, you'd think they'd understand instead of acting like a kid first hearing the word sex. I was met with nothing more and nothing less than awkward smiles and quiet giggles.
I quickly closed the door behind me and ran, penguin-style, over to the pile of clothes on the floor to pick out what was mine. I hopped into my jeans and pulled on my shirt when Jacob woke up.
"What's going on?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Edward and Bella are here." I said.
"What?" Jacob's eyes widened.
"Yeah, get out of bed and get dressed. I feel like a total idiot. We just did it in their house! This could be their room, oh my God!" I rambled. Jacob's arms were around me in seconds.
"Sh, it's fine. Don't worry about it so much." He said in a husky, 'I just woke up' voice. I smiled as he kissed the top of my head.
"Shoot, I don't have a shirt." Jacob said as he scanned the floor.
"I don't mind." I smiled as I walked towards the door.
Edward and Bella were sitting in the living room when Jacob and I came out of the bedroom. Renesmee was with them now. She was a little over two years old now and growing incredibly quickly. Watching her grow was like watching myself grow all over again. I noticed her rate of growth was a bit slower than mine was, though. She appeared to be around five years old now. She sat on the couch and fiddled with a doll, although she didn't seem too interested. She was a very intelligent little girl. Her head turned abruptly and a smile spread across her face as soon as she saw Jacob.
"Hey Nessie!" He called out to her.
"Jake, look what daddy got me!" She said, holding up her doll.
"That's really cool." Jake said, leaning over the couch with his arms crossed over each other.
They laughed and played together. I stood to the side and watched. At first, it made me smile to see Jake with Renesmee and how happy they always were to be around each other. My happiness turned into worry when the fact the Jacob imprinted on Renesmee too hit me like a ton of bricks. The smile on my face began to shrink as I thought of everything that could go wrong with Jacob and I as Renesmee got older. What happens when she starts looking like a grown woman? She already has the intelligence of one, it won't be long before she looks like one too. And she is a beautiful girl, she'll be so gorgeous some day. What if Jacob chooses her over me? It's almost inevitable. One of us will have to go. Jacob can't have two soul mates. What if he can't just choose? He shouldn't even have to choose, this is ridiculous.
I began to worry anxiously as I argued with my own thoughts. I couldn't stand there watching Jacob with Renesmee, or Nessie, as he called her. I had to get out for a while and clear my thoughts.
"I'm feeling a bit thirsty, I think I'm going to take off." I said, my index finger scratching my throat.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Jacob asked.
"No, I'll be fine."
"I'm actually feeling thirsty as well, do you mind if I join you?" Edward asked, an intent look in his eyes. I sighed to myself.
"I guess not." I pivoted towards the door and ran the moment my foot touched soil.
I felt a cold hand grasp on to my arm as I ran. I stopped and turned to meet Edward's gaze. He knew what I was worried about and why I needed to hunt right now. He knew everything. But this time, I wasn't angry. This way I could have someone to talk to about this without going through the process of explaining how and why I'm feeling this way.
"Elina, you need to stop worrying yourself with these non-existent issues. Jacob loves you, you know that." Edward said.
"How is it non-existent? It's right in front of our faces, Edward. Jacob and Renesmee belong together." I argued.
"It's not in the same way. He imprinted twice, yes, but he cannot have you both in the same way."
"Exactly. He can't have one and not the other. Everything is great now, but what happens when he realizes I'm not the one he wants?" I said, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks.
"I can tell you, with complete and utter certainty, that you are the one he wants by his side. He and Renesmee have more of a sibling bond than a romantic one. That's what they were meant to be."
"Yeah, now, but when she gets older he'll want her. Where does that leave me?"
"His thoughts are filled with nothing more than images of you. Can't you see that you are what he wants?"
"I know but I'm afraid that someday all of that will change." I whispered. Edward placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Then take advantage of this time with him. I cannot tell you if his feelings for you will change, but I do know they are very strong. You shouldn't doubt him."
I looked up into Edward's topaz eyes and got lost in them for a moment. I smiled, realizing he wasn't even thirsty at all. Edward turned out to be a very good friend to me and I really appreciated that.
"Thanks" I said quietly. Edward nodded.
"Go hunt. We'll be waiting." He said before running back to the cottage.
I stood there in the middle of the woods alone, left to ponder what Edward had said, along with my own thoughts on the matter. I knew Jacob loved me, but for how long? Do I fall even more madly, deeply in love with him and try to soak it all up before he changes his mind? Or do I call it quits now before I become too invested in the relationship so that when he does choose Renesmee, it won't hurt as much? I shook my head in frustration and started to run. I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going, I just ran. I took down a deer here and there just to keep my mind off of the issue that boggled my mind. I stopped, not wanting to run anymore. I collapsed in the middle of trees, moss, sticks and dirt. I couldn't run from my thoughts any longer. I whimpered, feeling helpless. How did things change so drastically? One moment I'm in complete bliss with Jacob, and the next I'm in tears contemplating whether I should end it with him. Was it silly for me to worry? Maybe Edward was right, Jacob and Renesmee had a sibling bond and nothing more. But then why would he imprint on her? All of these questions swam through my mind, all without answers. Even if I did leave him, I don't know how I could live with that decision. The fact is that I do love Jacob. It's the real deal. I could dismiss this whole imprinting thing completely and keep Jacob to myself for as long as possible before he chose a different path. No matter how selfish that could be, to keep him from the one who is supposed to be his soul mate, I can't just let this time with Jacob pass me by. I nodded, agreeing with myself that I would take as much time with Jacob as I could. If it ends, well, I'll manage. Right now, Renesmee is still a little girl and as long as she's too young, I'll be there by Jacob's side. I stood up, dusting off the dirt from my jeans and ran back to the cottage.
When I arrived, I walked slowly by the window and watched as Edward, Bella, Jacob and Renesmee talked and laughed together. They looked like a happy family. I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether I should interrupt the happy moment. Edward turned to the window, hearing my thoughts, and opened the door. We exchanged smiles as I walked through the threshold and passed him. Jacob stood up and came over to me, placing his hands on my waist.
"Hey, feeling better?" He asked, kissing my cheek.
"Yeah, a lot better." I smiled.
"I was thinking..." He began. "Do you want to come over tonight?" He asked.
"Over? As in your house? I thought I wasn't allowed on the reservation."
"Well, you're the exception to the rule. You aren't a Cullen and I imprinted on you, they can't touch you."
"They?"
"The pack. I was thinking I'd introduce you to them tonight."
"Oh...yeah, I'd love to meet them." I said. Jacob smiled, the excitement evident on his face.
"Great! Are you ready to go?"
"What? Now?" I said, not expecting to be meeting his family and friends looking like I just rolled out of bed, literally.
"Go get ready. I'll be back in about a half hour to get you." He smiled as hopped towards the door.
I stood and stared at the door. I was going to meet his family. Wow. I took a deep breath. I had to look amazing, I couldn't go there like this. What would I wear? I placed my hand on my forehead, trying to figure out where to start.
"I knew you'd need my help sooner or later!" Alice said as she zipped through the door. I smiled, relieved to have her here.
"Alice! Thank God you're here! I don't know what to wear, my hair is a mess..."
"Don't worry about it, I've got this taken care of." Alice beamed as she took my head and led me out the door towards the Cullen house.
We went into her room where she had an array of outfits laid out for me. Many of them were way too fancy and over the top, but it was to be expected. This was Alice, after all. Amidst the fancy dresses was one outfit that was much more casual than the rest and was just perfect. A tunic length, short-sleeved, grey, cowl-neck sweater was placed atop a pair of dark, denim skinny jeans and a pair of black, peep-toe booties were at the bottom of the jeans. I gravitated towards it immediately and I could hear Alice sigh behind me.
"I knew you would choose that." She said.
"The other outfits are great, Alice. I'm just feeling a bit casual today." I said as I lifted the sweater and placed it against myself, turning from side to side in the mirror.
"If only you could see your wedding gown." Alice mumbled. I turned abruptly.
"What?" I asked, hoping I heard her wrong.
"Nothing." She said quickly as she skipped over to gather the clothes.
"Alice" I pressed. "Did you say wedding gown?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said, giggling a bit.
"Oh my gosh, Alice, is Jacob going to ask me to marry him?" I asked, rushing to her side to hear her answer.
"It's...possible." She said, smiling. At first I was overcome with joy. Jacob wanted me, he was going to choose me. But all too quickly, my joy turned into fear.
"Marriage is... a really big word." I said, turning away from Alice.
"It's not like you'll get married tomorrow. Don't panic." Alice said.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Now, hurry and get changed so I can do your hair." Alice beamed.
"Thanks, Alice!" I said as I hugged her. I hurried into the bathroom, changed and then sat as Alice curled my hair for me.
"There, all done!" Alice said.
I turned to look into the mirror and smiled as I ran my fingers through my curled locks.
"Here I go..." I sighed as I stood up and walked towards the door.
"Good luck!" Alice called out to me. I was definitely going to need it.
I stepped outside and noticed a Volkswagen Rabbit parked in the driveway. Jacob was leaning against it with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I smiled as I walked over to the passenger's side. Jacob followed and opened the door for me. I thanked him with a quick smile and sat inside. I twitched at the slam of the door. Jacob sat down in the driver's seat, started the engine and turned into the drive that led out to the main road. The drive was very silent. I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, pulling at my shirt or twirling my hair every so often.
"Is everything okay?" Jacob asked, breaking the silence. The sound of his voice startled me.
"Uh, yeah everything's fine." I said in a high pitched, girlish voice that I often used when I was nervous.
"It's okay, they won't attack you or anything." Jacob said, placing his hand on my knee.
"I know, I'm just nervous I guess."
"Don't be. They're going to love you just as much as I do." Jacob said before turning into the reservation. He stopped in front of his house and hurried out of the car to open my door for me. I stepped out and did a quick glance around my surroundings.
"This way" Jacob said, taking my hand. I followed him. Bundles of nervousness were bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like a volcano about to erupt. We stepped inside the house and Jacob called out to his father. A man in a wheelchair made his way over to us. I walked up to him and smiled.
"Well, you must be Elina." He said as he reached his arms out, his palms hovering over each other. I placed my hand into his.
"Yes, it's so nice to meet you, Mr. Black." I said. He smiled back at me, genuinely.
"Please, call me Billy." He said. "Come, come!" He turned around in his chair and led us to the kitchen. "Have a seat, can I get you anything?" He offered.
"Oh, no thank you." I said as I sat next to Jacob at the table. Billy wheeled in at an empty space at the table. He sat there, with his arms extended on the table top, smiling at Jacob and I. Jacob held my hand underneath the table.
There was a knock at the door and Jacob stood up immediately to answer it, leaving Billy and I alone in the kitchen. Suddenly, the security Jacob's hand offered me was missing and the bubbles of nervousness returned to the pit of my stomach. I could hear a commotion at the door, but Billy just continued to stare at me with a smile on his face.
"Jacob talks a lot about you." He said. "You're even prettier than he lead on." He laughed.
"Thank you. Jacob always talks very highly of you, I'm so glad to finally meet you." I said.
"So...you're a vampire, huh?" He asked. Somehow, I knew this would come up.
"Only half, but yes." I said, looking down. "I hope that doesn't bother you."
"Well, you can't help who your parents were. You're still human." He chuckled. A wave of relief flushed over me.
"Yes I am" I laughed. Jacob returned with a group of boys and two girls behind him. All of the boys were muscular and tall like Jacob. I noticed one of the girls had a scar on her face, the other looked angry. I swallowed.
"Are we interrupting something?" Jacob smiled.
"Nope" Billy said, leaning back in his chair.
"Elina, this is the pack. Guys, this is Elina." Jacob introduced us.
"Ehm" The angry girl coughed, purposefully.
"That's Leah." Jacob said, seemingly annoyed.
"Hi." I smiled.
"Man, I'm hungry. What do you have to eat around here?" One of the boys said.
"Seth!" Leah said through her teeth, pushing the boy on his shoulder.
"Ow" He said, rubbing his shoulder.
One of the larger guys walked over to me.
"Hello, my name is Sam. This is Emily." He said, putting his arm around the girl with the scar on her face.
"Hi" I said, shaking their hands.
"The hungry one is Seth and the girl over there is his sister, Leah." He said. His expression changed as he said Leah's name, as if it hurt him to say it. Leah turned at the sound of her name, flashing a look towards us. The rest of the pack was in a line behind Sam.
"This here is Embry, Quil, Brady, Paul, Jared, and Collin." Sam introduced the pack, pointing to each boy as he said their name. I waved to them and smiled.
I noticed Jacob getting food out of the fridge for Seth and stood up to walk over to him. I felt so small compared to the pack. These guys were huge. It set me back for a moment.
"You get used to their size after a while." Emily smiled. She had a very sweet composure.
"I hope so. Jacob is pretty big on his own, but to see them all together like this is just so strange." I said.
"They have the hunger to match their size, too." Emily laughed, placing her hand on Sam's arm. Sam turned to smile at Emily. I looked over to Jacob and noticed Leah standing next to him, rage and pain spewing from the expression on her face as she glared at Sam and Emily.
"So you're half vampire, right?" Seth said as he walked over to me, chewing his food.
"Yep." I replied.
"Cool! It's weird having one on the res like this." Seth said between bites. "You don't smell too bad, though."
"Oh" I laughed. "Thanks"
"Seth!" Leah snapped.
"What, I'm just talking to her." Seth said, rolling his eyes at Leah.
"Hey, give her some space guys" Jacob said as he pushed through the crowd over to me. I realized I was pretty much backed into a corner with the very large members of the pack surrounding me.
"See, I told you they'd like you." Jacob whispered in my ear.
I heard a grunt and noticed Leah rush through the boys and out of the house.
"What's the matter with her?" I asked.
"She's just bitter like that." Seth mumbled through his mouth full of food.
"I'll tell you about it later." Jacob said to me. "Do you want to take a walk down to First Beach?" He asked.
"Sure" I smiled.
"Alright guys, we're heading out!" Jacob yelled out. Everyone shuffled towards the door, leaving Jacob and I alone in the kitchen. It was weird seeing it empty after the massive crowd that was just here. Jacob took my hand and led me outside.
When we reached the beach I was completely astounded by its beauty. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the soft sand between my toes and the fresh, ocean air was all very serene. I wiggled my toes in the cold sand and smiled to myself. Jacob laughed and tugged me to follow him. We walked over to a tree trunk and Jake sat down, patting the spot next to him. I sat and swung my feet back and forth in the sand. It was very quiet, only the sound of the ocean could be heard and a cough every so often from Jacob. I noticed his right hand was in his pocket, fidgeting around. I didn't think much of it.
"This is so beautiful" I smiled, tilting my head up towards the sky with my eyes closed, taking in the scent of the ocean.
"Yeah you are" he whispered, as if in a trance. "I mean, it is, yeah" He said, shaking his head. I looked at him and laughed. Jacob took in a deep breath and then stood up.
"We're leaving already?" I asked.
"No" He chuckled. "I just need to stand." He said, his right hand still in his pocket.
"Okay..." I said, dismissing it.
"Elina, the way I feel about you is more than I've ever felt about anyone. I am totally in love with you and I can't see my life without you." Jacob cleared his throat as he paced. He stopped, facing me and looked me in the eye for a moment with deep love and passion emanating from his eyes. "Elina" He whispered my name softly. The way he said it was intoxicating. Jacob slowly lowered to one knee, pulling out a black, velvet box from his pocket. "Elina, will you please marry me?" He asked, opening the box. I was caught off guard by the tiny little box and the silver-coloured hoop that was propped up inside it. It was a simple ring, yet very elegant and definitely something I would choose. The diamond was round and had diamond accents along the white gold band. I stared at it for a moment, then a smile stretched across my face.
"Yes" I said abruptly. "Yes!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around Jacob's neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, picked me up and spun me around. We both were elated with joy and were laughing. It was like a moment straight out of a movie. Jacob set me down, took my left hand and slid the ring on to my ring finger. I stared at it there for a moment. It was odd having a ring there. It seemed to belong, though. It was a sign that Jacob chose me, that he wanted me. But there was just something inside me that wasn't adjusting to it very well. This was what I wanted, though. I wanted Jacob. But maybe a ring was too final?
"Hey, you alright?" Jacob said, ducking his head down to meet my eyes. I looked up at him.
"Yeah, I was just...admiring it." I smiled.
"I love you, Jacob." I said, my tone very sincere and genuine. I needed him to know I really did love him. No matter what happens, I do.
"I love you." He said, placing his warm hand on my cheek. He gently pressed his lips against mine. I licked my lips, tasting where Jacob's just were.
"We should probably get back. I bet Alice is dying to see us." I said, rolling my eyes.
"Wouldn't she already know?" Jacob asked.
"Which is exactly why we should see her before she spontaneously combusts with excitement. No wonder she picked out all of these fancy dresses for me today, she knew you were going to ask me." I laughed.
"Let's go." Jacob said as he put his arm over my shoulders and led me back to his house.
I said goodbye to Billy and the members of Jacob's pack and then stepped into the Rabbit with my fiancé.
Fiancé. I smiled to myself at the word. I have a fiancé, who will sooner or later become my husband. Big word right there...huge.
As we drove away I caught a glimpse of Leah and remembered that Jacob still hadn't told me what the deal with her was. The saying 'if looks could kill' definitely applied to her and the way she glared at Sam and Emily tonight. We had a bit of a drive back to the Cullen's and I decided to ask.
"So, what's the deal with Leah? She looked so angry." I said.
"Oh, yeah...she and Sam used to be together." Jacob said, clearly covering up the details.
"Really? What happened?"
"Basically...he imprinted on Emily, who is Leah's cousin. As much as he loved Leah, he couldn't ignore the pull of imprinting. So, now he's with Emily and Leah's really bitter about it." Jacob explained.
I felt a knot begin to form in the pit of my stomach. Sam and Leah ended it, just like that, all because he imprinted on Emily. That was heartbreaking and an issue that hit close to home. Jacob imprinted twice. How are we supposed to know if his imprint on Renesmee is stronger than the imprint he had on me? I stared down at the ring on my finger, wondering if it would be enough to keep him with me.
The rest of the ride was silent after that. I tried to hide my worries by smiling and looking out of the window when signs of it broke through. I couldn't let him know that I doubted him because if I did I could lose him and I would not risk that. We pulled up to the Cullen house and Alice was already outside, practically jumping up and down. She ran to me as soon as I opened the car door.
"Congratulations!" She beamed, throwing her arms around me. "Picking out a wedding dress is going to be so much fun! And you just leave the planning up to me, I did Bella's wedding and it was gorgeous! I'm so happy for you!" She said as we walked up to the door. Everyone was already inside, waiting to congratulate Jacob and I. This bothered me, only because I knew Edward would be there and he would pick up the doubt in my thoughts. I didn't have the energy to try and hide it. We saw Carlisle and Esme first, both of whom were ecstatic to hear the news. Rosalie and Emmett were next. Rosalie congratulated us, but still had a bit of edge to it. She still hasn't warmed up to the idea of me being around yet. Bella was very warm and sweet about it. She hugged me and said she'd try to get in on the planning so Alice wouldn't get too carried away and reassured me she'd be there if I needed her. Then it was Edward who, from the moment he looked into my eyes, knew of all of my doubts. He took in a deep breath and put on a smile as he shook hands with Jacob. But when I reached him, his look was stern. Edward hugged me, his lips to my ear to make it look as though he was whispering congratulations to me.
"Meet me outside later." He whispered before pulling away with a smile.
Everyone gathered into the family room. Alice was announcing her plans for the wedding, with Bella trying to tone things down a bit. Everyone was succumbed by wedding plans. Everyone, that is, except for Edward and I. Edward's glare was burning into me the entire time. I tried to ignore it, but his eyes just bore into me.
'I just need some air. I'll be back, Edward.' I thought before escorting myself outside quietly. I looked back to the window and noticed nobody realized I had gone. Good, it would be better this way. I inhaled and ran through the woods. I didn't even know what time it was or where I was going. I just had to get out of there.