Chapter 13

Jimmy opened his eyes the next morning, just as the sun was clearing the horizon. He rubbed away the sleep and looked across the now smouldering campfire to see Buck curled on the ground next to Teaspoon, who had fallen asleep sat upright, his head lolling back, mouth open, allowing intermittent rasping snores to escape.

Jimmy snorted a laugh. Who'd have thought such a scene would have made him feel so happy? Rousing himself from his bedroll he got up to take care of morning functions. By the time he returned Buck was awake and looking about sleepily.

"Mornin'," Jimmy said in a low voice, not wanting to wake Teaspoon, as the older man looked done in and they had a long ride ahead of them. "I'll get the last of the coffee going. Kid'll be here with some food soon hopefully," he said conversationally.

Buck got unsteadily to his feet and muttered something about having to take care of business and staggered his away around the back of one of the boulders. He'd only been gone a minute when Jimmy heard him call out.

Jimmy immediately dropped the coffee pot, grabbed his gun and ran over to Buck.

"What is it?" he asked, scanning the area for any sign of trouble. Buck stood looking helpless and embarrassed.

"I need some help here, Hickok. Can't seem to be able to untie my pants."

It was Jimmy's turn to look uncomfortable. "Oh," he replied, not quite sure what to do.

"Appreciate you helpin' me get them off," Buck said awkwardly.

"Oh! Right." Jimmy still didn't move.

"Might as well cut them off. They're not much use to me now."

Jimmy looked at the stained and grubby pants Buck wore. It would take a great deal of washing to make them fit for wearing but they were still serviceable.

"You sure you want to cut them, Buck? I bet Rachel will be able to get them cleaned up for you," Jimmy asked.

Buck's eyes flashed angrily. "I never want to wear them again," he said forcefully, through clenched teeth. "I don't ever want to see any of these things again," he added, fumbling to get his arms out of his jacket but his injured hands made it difficult. He got increasingly frustrated and started to try and shrug it off, unsuccessfully.

"Here, let me help." Jimmy stepped forward and slipped the jacket from Buck's shoulders. Next he eased his arms out of his waistcoat and started to unbutton his shirt. Buck stood meekly and watched as Jimmy's fingers slipped the buttons through the buttonholes. The fabric felt stiff and reeked but Jimmy was determined not to let his friend down.

Dropping the discarded items of clothing in a pile, Jimmy looked at Buck unsure what he wanted to do next.

"Got a knife, Hickok?"

"I'll go get one."

Jimmy slipped around a boulder, to retrieve one from the camp. He found Buck's own large hunting knife in his saddlebag, where he had placed it when they had left the camp where Brody had got the jump on them. When he returned to Buck he found him, sitting on a rock, heeling off his boots.

"Got your knife," Jimmy informed his friend, holding it out in front of him, for Buck to see, thinking it may give him a boost. Buck raised his eyes to look at the familiar weapon in Jimmy's hands. Buck gave him a grateful smile.

It took Jimmy a couple of minutes to carefully cut away the ties which secured Buck's pants and slice down the leg so they were easily removable.

"Uh, hate to say this, Buck but what if Kid ain't been able to get you some new pants? What you gonna ride home in?" Jimmy asked, eyebrows raised and a playful smile on his lips.

"Don't much care," came the flat response.

"Well, you can't ride in your underwear. They're worse off than your clothes!" Jimmy commented as he appraised the long johns Buck still wore.

Buck looked down at himself, wrinkling his nose in disdain. "Perhaps I should of gone to town. I could do with a good wash, couldn't I?' Buck replied, dejectedly.

"It ain't so bad," Jimmy tried to reassure him. "Hell, there were times back in the bunkhouse when I thought none of us washed properly," Jimmy offered good humouredly, not wishing to cause Buck any further discomfort. "Not even Lou!" he added for good measure.

Just then Teaspoon appeared around the corner, holding his blanket poncho. "Put this on, son," he said, holding out the garment. "Should keep you warm until Kid gets back."

Buck lifted his head and looked at Teaspoon thankfully and went to take it with his bandaged hand but his fingers still refused to respond. Jimmy quickly stepped forward and placed the poncho over Buck's head, pulling it down around him.

"What shall I do with these?" Jimmy asked, looking at Buck's unwanted clothes.

"Burn them," Buck told him as he got stiffly to his feet and moved off to relieve himself before making his way back to camp.

Jimmy and Teaspoon watched him leave then looked at each other.

"I'll go pour us some coffee," the older man said, not knowing how else to respond to Buck's demand.

Jimmy took another morose look at the clothes and then, leaving them where they lay, followed Teaspoon.

Z

When Teaspoon returned to the camp it was to find Buck sat with his head in his hands.

"You okay, son?"

Buck took a breath and looked up. "I'll be fine, just hungry, I guess," he answered, not wanting to worry the older man any more than necessary and, he knew for sure, if Teaspoon knew what he was thinking then he'd be real concerned. At this moment Buck wasn't sure he could return to his life in Rock Creek. All he wanted to do was hide away and find some peace with himself because he was having a great deal of trouble coming to terms with what had happened.

"Well, Kid shouldn't be too much longer. Guess you haven't eaten much in the last couple of days, huh?" Teaspoon asked, as he squatted down by the fire to pour them all a cup of coffee from the now steaming pot on the fire.

Buck gave a snort of derision. "I haven't had anything to eat since Jimmy and I made camp."

Teaspoon looked shocked and shook his head.

"What? Nothin' at all?" Jimmy had returned and looked at Buck incredulously. "Didn't that man give you nothin' to eat?"

"He gave me some coffee one mornin'. Think he thought I wouldn't make it unless he did. He had a deal with Neville to …" Buck trailed off, reluctant to say much more as he wasn't sure he would be able to bear hearing his own words.

All three men fell into reflective silence, the only noise breaking the quiet being the low rumble of empty stomachs.

Suddenly Buck lifted his head and automatically said, "Rider comin'"

Jimmy instantly got to his feet, his hand hovering above his gun. Teaspoon squinted into the distance and it was with great relief that he realised it was Kid.

"Got back as soon as I could," Kid called, reining Katy in and pulling the horse he was leading to a stop. He looked at the sombre faces in front of him. "Everythin' all right?" he asked. "Buck, you okay?"

"We're just hungry," Teaspoon replied, getting to his feet. "What you brung us to eat?"

A wide grin spread across Kid's face. "I got us the works as I thought Buck could probably do with some decent food." With that he began to unpack a veritable feast from his saddlebags, which Jimmy took from him and set about cooking.

Kid then held out a brown paper parcel, tied with string to Buck. "Hope these are okay. Think I got the sizes about right," he smiled encouragingly at his friend. Buck took the parcel gingerly in his hands but was unable to untie the string. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Here, let me," Kid offered, squatting down next to Buck and untying the string. Inside the parcel were a pair of work pants, a patterned shirt and a set on long johns.

"Uh, you might want to get cleaned up a little before you put those on," Kid suggested awkwardly, as it was evident Buck still hadn't had a good wash.

Buck raised earnest eyes to meet Kid's cool blue ones. "That bad, huh?"

Kid smiled and dropped his head for a moment and then looked back at Buck. "I passed a small creek a little ways back. I'll go get you some water."

"I'd rather get washed up there if you'll give me a hand onto that horse you brought back."

Kid stood up, held out his hand and helped Buck to his feet. A short while later they were riding down the trail together, having told Teaspoon and Jimmy they would be back in time for breakfast.

"You think he's doin' all right, Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked, stirring the beans, watching as they rode off.

"I think he's lettin' us think he's doin' a lot better than he really is," Teaspoon responded, hands on hips, as he too watched them ride away.

"He will be all right though, won't he?"

"I hope so, son. I hope so," Teaspoon replied pensively.

Z

Having literally peeled the stiffened fabric, of his stained under garments, from his body, Buck stepped into the shallows of the creek. Squatting down he began to splash the water over himself, paying no heed to its frigidity. As the cool water hit his body he wiped himself down and then started to rub at his skin with a neckerchief Kid had given him. Kid sat a little way off, giving him some privacy. As he sat, idly chewing on a piece of grass he suddenly remembered the bar of soap he had bought which was still in his saddlebag. Retrieving it he went over to the creek and was about to call out to Buck when he stopped in his tracks. Buck stood naked, ankle deep in the water and was frantically scrubbing his arms and legs with such ferocity his skin was turning red.

Kid called out to him but either Buck didn't hear or chose to ignore him but continued scrubbing. Kid called again but still got no response. He strode into the water and touched Buck's arm. The Kiowa spun around, his eyes wide and wild, his breathing heavy.

"It's okay, Buck. Take it easy," Kid said softly, keeping a hold of his friend's arm. "You're safe now."

"Gotta get clean," Buck mumbled starting to scrub again.

"I brought you some soap," Kid told him, holding out the tablet.

Buck stared at the yellow bar in his hand then went to take it but his fingers refused to co-operate and the soap slipped from his grasp. Kid calmly retrieved it, took the neckerchief from Buck and worked up a lather on it.

He handed it back to Buck. 'I'll go get somethin' to dry off with for you," he said, retreating from the creek. As he walked away he flicked a look over his shoulder and saw Buck systematically scrubbing all over his body once more.

Try as he might, Buck couldn't seem to wash that man off him. He scrubbed his neck trying to get rid of the sensation of the noose about it. The pent up emotions of the last few days bubbled to the surface to mingle with the soapy lather on his skin. Years of bigotry and prejudice surfaced and the anger, he had tried so hard to suppress for so long, surged within him. The urge to wash away the colour of his heritage intensified as, at this moment, he felt it was the route of all his problems and why his life was strewn with so many regrettable incidents. He became increasingly agitated and frenzied and his skin became increasingly raw until he sensed Kid standing next to him. He stopped his frantic activity letting his head hang down, trying to calm his rapid breathing. Taking a side ways glance at the Kid he saw he looking worriedly at him.

"I think you're about done," Kid said quietly, holding out a square of cloth.

Buck took it awkwardly and mumbled his thanks, then made his way out of the creek and started to dry himself off. As Kid watched, he thought he had never seen his Kiowa friend look so lost and hopeless.

Once he was dry, Buck dressed in the clothes Kid had brought him, having to ask him to help with the fastening of the buttons on his shirt and pants. When he was done Kid stepped back and gave Buck an encouraging smile. "You're looking more like yourself now," he commented.

Buck returned the smile half heartedly, wondering if he was ever going to be the man he once had been.

Z

"Hope they're gonna be back soon or this is gonna get cold," Jimmy commented, moving the pot to the side of the fire to stop it burning.

"Shame to spoil your cookin'," Teaspoon replied, eyeing the food hungrily. "Have to say Hickok, if there's one thing you learned with the Express, it's cookin'!" He gave the younger man a knowing look.

"Think we all learned a lot in those years," Jimmy said, hunkering down next to the fire.

"That's true. I started with a rag tag bunch of boys … and girl and got me a fine bunch of men … and lady. Kinda miss it." Teaspoon sighed and looked thoughtfully into the flames.

"At least we've managed to stay together for now. Thought when the war came along we'd all disappear."

"Well, you did for a while. Can't tell you how glad I was when Kid and Lou stayed and then you and Buck came back. Cody will be fine. That boy's got a lucky charm about his life. I just know he'll come back some day."

A reflective Jimmy poked at the fire. "Shame not everyone's not gonna come back. I still miss Ike and Noah," came his melancholy response.

Teaspoon didn't reply, lost in his own thoughts but then said, "I just hope we haven't lost Buck too."

Jimmy just looked at him despondently.

The sound of approaching horses brought them out of their reverie and they were pleased to see Buck looking more like his normal self, riding in behind Kid.

"'Bout time," Jimmy called out, with mock irritability.

A short while later found the four of them sat around the fire with plates of food. Jimmy cut Buck's up to make eating easier and he managed to hold a spoon and feed himself. It didn't take Buck long to clear his plate as he demolished the eggs and bacon ravenously. Food had never tasted so good, even if it was Jimmy's cooking! It was after he had cleared his plate for the second time that Teaspoon placed a hand gently on his arm. "Easy, son. Don't wanna eat too much too quick. We can stop and eat along the way."

Buck nodded his understanding at the man's words. He felt he could eat the same again but knew riding with a heavy stomach was never a good idea.

After they had eaten, Kid re-bandaged Buck's wrists with supplies he had brought from town.

"Is that too tight?" Kid asked as he secured the one bandage.

Buck shook his head and flexed his fingers. Although the binding was restrictive it gave some support to his hands, which although had some feeling were still feeling pretty weak. Kid patted his friend's shoulder understandingly and then helped Teaspoon and Jimmy pack up camp.

A short while later Kid came back over to Buck, who had been told to rest up before the journey.

"Forgot to give you this earlier. Found it at one of the campsites," he said, holding out his hand with Buck's medicine pouch nestling in his palm. Jimmy joined them and fished inside his jacket pocket and pulled out the bone earring.

"You're gonna need this too," Jimmy added, pressing the earring into Buck's hand. The Kiowa looked at it and took the pouch. He stared at the treasured items for a moment then raised his eyes to his two friends. A wealth of emotion flickered in their dark depths.

"Thank you," he said weakly. He returned the items to their rightful place about his person, held his hand to his chest and grasped the pouch. The familiar possessions, which had been part of his life for so long and been with him through all the ups and down, felt reassuring. He gave his friends a grateful nod, and Kid and Jimmy gave him a satisfied smile in return.

"Good to have you back, Buck," Jimmy remarked, lowering his eyes a little self-consciously but the sentiment was heart felt. Kid nodded his agreement and gave Buck's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Well, standin' around here ain't gonna get us home," Teaspoon interjected, pulling himself stiffly into the saddle. Kid helped Buck onto his horse and they were soon heading home, back to Rock Creek.

Z

They kept the pace steady and took numerous breaks throughout the journey, giving Buck time to rest and eat. Buck put a brave face on it but he tired quickly and his hands, although healing, stilled caused him a great deal of discomfort. The others helped as much as they could, whilst trying not to be too intrusive, understanding Buck well enough to know his pride would not allow too much intervention.

He remained reticent, only responding to direct questions but offering little in general conversation, steering well clear of any mention of Brody or Neville. Teaspoon was getting increasingly concerned that the boy was retreating so far into himself that he may never come back. He was beginning to think this had been one knock too many in Buck's troubled life and he wouldn't be able to put this latest experience behind him. He was afraid that this be the point that he would make the decision to try and return to live amongst his Indian family. Saying nothing of this to the others, he hoped if they continued to act normally about their Kiowa friend they would be able to pull him back to the fold of his adopted white family.

When Rock Creek came into view Teaspoon let out a sigh of relief, glad that they had managed to bring Buck back home and pleased that he could get off his horse and rest up in a comfortable warm bed, instead of the hard ground. He was suddenly feeling very old.

Skirting around the back of the buildings, so as not to draw too much attention, they pulled up at the back of Rachel's house. The door immediately flew open and Rachel dashed down the steps to greet them, closely followed by Lou.

"Thank God!" Rachel exclaimed, clasping her hands in front of her mouth. Lou rushed to Kid's side as he swung down off Katy and embraced him before turning to Buck. Her broad smile slid from her face as she took her first proper look at her friend.

"Buck?" she said softly, hardly believing it was him.

Lifting his chin, two soulful eyes looked down at her as he gave her a weak smile. Rachel came alongside her and wrapped a comforting arm about Lou's shoulders. She too was shocked by Buck's appearance but put on a cheery face.

"Come on, honey. Let's get you down off that horse and get you somethin' ta eat," she said, extending her arm out to him.

Buck carefully slid from the horse into her arms where he received a double embrace from her and Lou. As they helped him into the house Rachel cast a questioning look over her shoulder at Teaspoon, Jimmy and Kid, who stood holding their horses' reins, unsure of what to say.

Teaspoon watched as the women led the boy away, assured he was in good hands. If anything could heal the boy, it was these two. Time would hopefully do the rest.

Call me superstitious but just couldn't leave it at thirteen chapters so there's one more to come, which is nearly ready to post. Besides I have some friends who are keen for me to get on with another little writing project! Thanks for sticking with the story this far. It would be great to hear what people are thinking so don't be shy – leave me a comment, please!