An Agent's Biggest Enemy

Chap. 2-I'm Telling

Disclaimer: In this Chap., JJ reveals her secret, but only to a few people.

1900 Hours

Somewhere in Arkansas

The team had been in Arkansas for several hours now, and JJ was coming unglued. Finally, Hotch had a satisfactory rough profile, and had dismissed them for the evening. Now, JJ was sitting in the small hotel room she was sharing with Prentiss, and staring at the phone in her hand. How was she going to tell Will about the awful news entering their lives? How would little Henry handle it. She took another deep breath, and contemplated-if she was Spencer, what would Spencer do? Spencer would write a math equation. JJ was no dummy, but she also was no genius, so that wouldn't work. Hotch would keep it in, buried so deep, so it wouldn't affect his work. Prentiss might tell Hotch, and likely herself. Morgan-well, he would crack jokes about it. But JJ could do none of those things, because she was JJ, and she didn't operate like that.

With trembling fingers, she dialed home. Will answered on the first ring; she knew the caller ID had displayed her number, and he was expecting her to call as she always did, at least once in the evening, to say goodnight, and tell her boys she loved them. She breathed again as Will answered, and spoke to her in his soft, rolling accent.

"Hi, baby. I was just about to put Henry down for the night." She smiled, picturing her son in his little green dinosaur onsie-a gift from Spencer.

"Aww. Let me talk to him," she replied, as Will held the receiver to the baby's ear. She listened as he said good night and that he loved her. She smiled, and replied back.

"Mommy loves you, too, Henry. When Mommy gets home, Aunt Penelope wants to take you to the movies, OK? Be good for Daddy. Can Mommy talk to Daddy again?" The little boy handed his father back the receiver, and she heard Will speaking again.

"Thank you. Honey, did you hear from the doctor yet?" JJ choked up momentarily; she had to remind herself that her partner couldn't see her nodding her head.

"Yes, dear." She paused for a moment before he spoke again.

"You sound upset. Let me put Henry to bed, and I'll call you right back so we can talk."

"Ok, thanks." They hung up, and JJ resumed staring at the phone. A little while later, it rang, and she answered immediately.

"Jenny, sweetheart. I am here. Talk to me." She sighed, and paused, grasping for the right words.

"It's uh-it's breast cancer. They did all the tests, and the spot they found-it tested positive." Just then, she heard Prentiss's key in the lock, and stood to move into the bathroom, closing herself in so that her friend and colleague couldn't hear. It was silent on the other end of the line, for long enough that JJ began to think that he had hung up.

"Honey?"

"I'm here, Jenny. I just-um-I needed a minute to process this. OK, so what do we do?"

"Well, when we get back home, I have to go in and see a specialist. Dr. Warner emailed me a list of them in the DC area. And I checked the regulations-I don't have to tell anyone yet…at the Bureau, I mean. I mean, I WILL, of course, but-" She stopped when Will cut her off.

"Baby, look. Nothing needs to be decided tonight. I know better than to ask you to come home early, but please, maybe you should talk to Spencer-I know how close you two are. "

"Are you-are you sure? You don't think we should wait and see what the doctor says?" He sighed, and she could hear him shake his head.

"No, honey. I don't think you should wait. Besides, I know you-you'll drive yourself sick with worry, and you'll try to keep it in. Besides, I am betting that the others know already that something is up." She smiled lightly-how well he knew her and the Team.

"You're right. I guess I should say something. But I suppose decorum dictates that I start with Hotch."

"To hell with decorum, Jenn. Tell whomever you damn well please." She allowed herself to giggle at that.

"I will. Thanks, honey."

"Of course, baby. I love you. Sleep well, and my best to the others."

"I love you. I will see you soon." She hung up, and sighed again. She placed the phone in her pocket, and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked tired-she WAS tired. And she heard Emily preparing her things for the next day, trying hard not to interrupt. JJ wondered how much Prentiss had actually heard, for she realized that the walls were not sound-proof, and as she washed her hands and returned to the main room, she could feel Prentiss's eyes on her.

"Everything OK?"

"Yup. Will just put Henry to bed," She paused for a moment, before continuing. "Say, Em. I noticed that the bar downstairs is open until 3 am. You up for a drink? My treat." Emily looked at her again, and then nodded.

"Ok. Let me just put on my shoes," she said, indicating her heels on the floor near the bed where she'd kicked them off when she'd returned from dinner with the others. A few minutes later, JJ had rounded up the Team, and they all gathered at a table in the corner of the lounge.

JJ took a few minutes to let them settle in before clearing her throat. The others fell silent, and exchanged looks. She took a deep inhale, and on her exhale, she began her story.

"OK, so you know how I went to the doctor last week and that I have been feeling ill? Well, um, this morning, my doctor called me. They know what's wrong. And um-wow, this is going to be harder than I thought-"she was interrupted by Spencer.

"JJ, are you pregnant again?" She shook her head as Prentiss shushed him.

"No, Spence. Though I wish I was. Henry is starting to ask for a sibling. No, it's something a little bit more serious than that. Um. Ok, I think I am just going to say it. I have breast cancer. But-they caught it early, and we're going to deal with it, and I have a list of the best doctors in DC, and Will is being so great right now…" She trailed off as her words were met with stunned silence. Of course they would be stunned, she thought, hell, I am stunned. She fell silent, and let the wave of shock pass over the table. After a few moments, Spencer stood up, excusing himself, and headed for the elevators as the others sighed.

Rossi and Prentiss spoke at the same time.

"JJ, if you need anything, let me know," they both grinned, and quietly excused themselves. Morgan followed suit, giving her the same sentiment, and then she was alone with Hotch. He looked her over, sipped his drink and then spoke.

"You should have come to me first." She nodded, and then replied.

"I know. I am sorry. But I only found out this morning, and Will said that I should tell everyone, and I knew if I told you this morning, you wouldn't have let me come. I just needed one more case, Aaron." Hotch nodded, and sipped his drink again, finishing it.

"Ok. I understand. When we return to DC, please let me know how much time you'll need to fight this." She nodded, and smiled tightly.

"Of course." He stood, and spoke once more.

"And, for the time being, I will keep it between all of us; Strauss doesn't need to know yet. And, um, I will talk to Spencer. He's rooming with me; since the episode where he was sleepwalking and started singing Bob Dylan, Rossi has requested to room with Morgan. I have Jack; I am used to being awakened at odd hours." JJ gave a laugh, and nodded.

"Thank you." He nodded, and disappeared into the elevator, and JJ remained behind for a little longer, nursing a glass of red wine, and smiling at the irony-it was supposed to be a cancer fighter. She sighed, and paid the check, and returned to her room, where she found Prentiss already asleep. She settled into bed a little while later, knowing that sleep was futile.

End of Chap. 2