Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect

Mass Fiction

Episode 12: In Your Dreams

The quiet hum of the elevator motor as it made its accent to Shepard's cabin was of little comfort to the young Quarian as she nervously bounced on her toes. She was anxious, terrified on some levels if she was honest with herself. There was the physical danger of course. Realistically, she could die from the exposure. It was a risk she had hoped to minimize with the use of supplements and boosters, but a risk nonetheless. Oddly enough, it wasn't the fear of death that gave her pause. She had been in life threatening situations before and had come to accept the inevitability of her own mortality. No, what she feared was far worse and far more terrible…rejection.

She had been content with what their relationship had been. He was her friend, a comrade in arms and she had believed that that could be enough. Only in the darkest and loneliest of times had her mind ever dared to dream, to hope. It was silly of course. He was a hero, an icon, a man who could have any woman he wanted. She was just his friend and she had been content to remain only that.

But then that damn fever had her babbling like an idiot revealing things she never thought she would have the courage to say aloud. For a moment she was terrified. Terrified that he would just walk away or even worse laugh at her and her silly little crush. But he didn't…he just…smiled. Smiled and said he felt the same.

She wasn't sure how to react. She wanted to cry, to laugh, to jump up and down and shout to the heavens. All her body and mind could manage was to sputter nervously and nod her head while continuing to babble about getting back to work. Afterwards she felt like a fool, Shepard just chuckled and told her that it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. It was one of the many reasons why she loved the man, that amazing ability to make her feel special, to feel loved.

The elevator came to a halt and opened, revealing the small foyer that led to Shepard's door. Stepping out, Tali froze as her insecurities began to get the better of her.

"What if he changed his mind? What if he thinks I'm ugly? What if…what if I'm not good enough for him," Tali woefully thought to herself.

It was a doubt that had been plaguing her for some time, a voice that whispered to her in the back of her mind. She wasn't ignorant of the looks Shepard received from Miranda, Kelly or even Jack. Shepard could be with anyone he wanted and yet he chose her. Sometimes she didn't want to believe it, as if giving her just a little bit of hope would be more cruel than flat out rejection.

"But he did choose you," Tali told herself, her resolve hardening. Taking a deep breath, she opened the cabin door and stepped inside, insecurities be damned.

"Shepard I…Shepard? Hello," Tali called out into a dimly lit room, the faint blue glow of the fish tanks the only light in the cabin.

From where she stood she could see that he wasn't in the office or his bed. Peering around the corner, she saw that the couches were also empty.

"Where is he," Tali asked no one in particular.

"Commander Shepard is currently in engineering," EDI said popping into view.

"Thank you EDI," Tali said giving the hologram a cross look before quickly getting back on the elevator.

"He must have gone down there looking for me. I knew I should have called him to let him know I was coming up," Tali said scolding herself.

The elevator doors opened and Tali made her way to engineering at a brisk pace, the earlier hesitation now replaced with anticipation and need. Stepping into engineering, her eyes scanned the room and saw Shepard walking into the alcove that stood in front of the drive core. She followed after him but only took a few steps before coming to a screeching halt. Shepard was there but he was not alone.

The soft brown hair and skintight white outfit was more than enough to tell who exactly Shepard had his arms around. It felt as if Tali had just been hit by a bucket of ice water as she watched Shepard hands caress the curves of Miranda's body as his lips intertwined with the Cerberus lieutenants. She watched as an ungloved hand ran its way through his hair, Miranda's face nuzzling his neck as she pulled him closer.

Miranda's eyes opened catching a still frozen Tali watching them. At first her face held a bit of surprise, before it twisted into a sickening and victorious smirk. A smirk that remained as she began to kiss along Shepard's neck.

"I have to get out of here," Tali mentally screamed as she stumbled for the doors.

She made it into the hallway and gripped the railing to keep her steady. She was trying to breath and a mild panic took over when her vision began to blur. It was only after she blink that she realized it was because she was crying.

"Calm down," Tali mentally commanded, "you knew that this could happen. It's…it's better this way," Tali thought clutching at her chest. "he deserves…to be happy. But you…have to breath…get…a hold…and breath," was the last thought Tali had as her vision clouded and she collapsed to the floor.

"KEELAH," Tali shouted as she jumped in her sleeping pod nearly smashing her head against the glass. It took a moment for her senses to alert her brain to where she was and what was happening as her head snapped back and forth trying to get her bearings.

"It was a dream," Tali said breathing deeply, "a terrifying horrible dream."

Any hope for sleep was lost so she opted to open the pod and stretch her legs. She could probably head down to engineering and catch up on some work. That at least would soothe her nerves. Making her way to the elevator, she heard the sound of someone rustling through the kitchen area, a familiar string of curses leaving little guess as to whom it was.

Stepping into the galley area, Tali was greeted to the sight of nearly every cabinet door open, with Jack poking her head into one of the storage closets.

"What are you doing Jack," Tali whispered as quietly as she could.

"What the fuck does it look like Tali," Jack whispered back, relaxing her body after being startled, "I'm getting something to eat."

"Why are we whispering," a voice said behind them.

Both Tali and Jack turned to see Kasumi sitting on the counter smiling with a bag of cookies in her hands.

"I swear one of these days bitch," Jack snarled shoving a glowing fist in the thief's face.

"I know, bang zoom," Kasumi mock yawned, "cookie?"

Jack looked as if she wanted to say something but figured that aside from splattering the woman across the walls she wasn't going to win this. She ended up settling for an angry glare as she fished a handful of cookies from the open bag.

"See, chocolate chips make everything better," Kasumi said grinning.

"So besides messing with Jack, why are you up so late," Tali said leaning against a counter.

"In my line of work you sometimes keep weird hours," Kasumi said shrugging, "also the idea of visiting a dead Reaper isn't exactly what lulls me to sleep. What about you? I know Miss Antisocial likes to feed after midnight," Kasumi said motioning to Jack who merely gave her the finger as she raided the fridge, "but why are you up?"

"I…I couldn't sleep," Tali said rubbing her hands together.

"Something bothering you," Kasumi pried.

"Yes…no…I don't know," Tali said shaking her head. "It's just…do you guys…do you guys think I'm pretty?"

Tali wanted to shrivel up and die as both Kasumi and Jack did a double take and were staring at her with unyielding confusion.

"What the fuck," Jack said summing it up as only she could.

"Well…I mean…do you think Shepard thinks I'm pretty," Tali asked looking like she was about to rub the suit off her hands. "I know he doesn't care about that but I just...I just worry."

"So that's what this is about," Kasumi said grinning; Tali instinctively stepping back at the look in the thief's eyes. "Kelly mentioned something was going on between you two."

"Kelly? How does Kelly know," Tali said bewildered.

"Ken and Gabby," Kasumi said leaning back. "They said that you and Shepard have been getting awfully close down in engineering. They might have 'accidentally' overheard you're conversation and let it slip at dinner."

"And now that Kelly knows," Tali said in dismay.

"So does the rest of the galaxy," Kasumi said laughing.

"Yeah, yeah Cerberus bitch has a big mouth," Jack said popping a beer, "so what makes you think that Shepard won't like what he sees?"

"Well, it's just that I'm in this suit all the time. He can't see my face and he has no idea what my body looks like."

"I'm sure he can guess. It's not like you're wearing a poncho, that suit is pretty skintight," Kasumi said still chuckling.

"Shepard doesn't care about that," Tali said flushed.

"Bullshit, men are men. No matter how nice or noble or kind they act deep down they're all the same," Jack said rolling her eyes.

"Not Shepard," Tali quickly said.

"Oh yeah," Jack sneered. "When he comes down to chit chat, what door does he use to enter engineering? The one behind the Cerberus twins or the one behind your station?"

"The one behind my station, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you know why," Kasumi ask smirking.

"No," Tali huffed.

"It's so he can check out your ass," Jack said laughing.

Tali for her part felt like the inside of her suit was a thousand degrees.

"He wouldn't do that would he? Does he really look at me that way," Tali thought as her mind wandered.

"I think we lost her," Kasumi said waving a hand in front of Tali's mask.

"I got it," Jack said flicking her finger against the glass of the faceplate which seemed to grab her focus again.

"He…he thinks of me like that," Tali asked feeling overjoyed.

"He's a guy. He doesn't know any other way to think," Jack said rolling her eyes.

"But he does care about you," Kasumi added, "you don't have to doubt that."

"I didn't want to. But are you two sure," Tali said looking at the two.

"Of course, we're your friends, we wouldn't lie to you," Jack said annoyed as both Kasumi and Tali stared at her in shock. "What?"

"Do you really mean that? Am I really your friend?"

"Shit," Jack said cursing herself for letting that slip. Though she loathe to admit it, she had come to trust Tali without a second thought. She knew it was stupid and sloppy, but for once in her life, she felt as if there wouldn't be a knife in the back for her trouble.

"Yes Tali," Jack sighed, "you're my friend. Anyone fucks with you, they have to deal with me."

"I knew you'd come around," Tali said enveloping Jack in a hug.

"Okay," Jack said struggling, "let's not push it."

"Oh you guys are so sweet…GROUP HUG," Kasumi said grabbing them both.

"FUCK," Jack yelled sitting up in her cot, a cold sweat on her brow. The convict's eyes darted around quickly analyzing where she was and what was going on. She was in her hole, check. She wasn't gushing her feelings and sharing a moment, check.

Her head was pounding, more so than usually and the funny taste in her mouth was also unnecessary.

"Note to self, never let that bitch talk you into drinking that purple shit in her room ever again," Jack thought as she kicked her bowl from dinner away from her. "And never eat that assholes gumbo at one in the morning. Shit fucks with your head."

Two dream fake outs in one chapter? What are the odds? Two chapters left for this story, and soon, soon I will have my precious. Until then read and review people.