So I'm nervous. Because this is the last chapter I'm posting today and next comes the part where all I can do and sit around and wait with crossed fingers for reviews. Please?

~*SAKURA*~

So I cried a bit. No big deal. I didn't want to think about it. It wasn't full on waterworks or anything and at least it made me feel a little bit better. I convinced myself that I didn't need to feel bad about it. It didn't make me weak, just human. Besides, there wasn't so much crying as there was clammy palms and violent shaking. It didn't happen often since I generally dealt with my stress pretty well, but it happens when I get really nervous, anticipating. I think I would have felt less cowardly if I cried all night.

So I was succumbing to my guilty pleasure. I found myself in the express lane with a basket full of cookie dough ice cream. I kept my head down most of the time, not wanting to see anyone I knew. I mean, it's not like hoards of high school kids hang out at the Stop and Shop, but I didn't want to take any chances.

"Sakura?" Shit. Precautions: useless. I glanced up, finding Kankoru was my cashier. He graduated last year with his sister, Temari. That girl was the only thing that got me through AP Physics. The way I saw it, not only was she a close friend, she was a savior.

"Hey," I faked a smile unsuccessfully. The corners of his mouth turned down as he started checking out my items.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I'd spend a fair share of time with him too. He knew me, and at that moment, I was resenting it.

"Nothing," I lied, knowing I wasn't fooling anyone.

"I have an older sister with a dead-beat boyfriend. I know what this much cookie dough means." He assured. I couldn't picture tough Temari breaking down and sobbing to chick flicks with a gallon of cookie dough ice cream, but it made me feel better. He handed me my ice cream in exchange for my twenty.

"Thanks." I smiled for real this time, though it was weak.

"No problem." He gave me my change back. "You still have my number. Call if you need someone."

I nodded, sure I wouldn't take him up on it, but I appreciated it, nonetheless. I wanted to be alone for a while.

I stepped into school the next morning, a forbidding dread in my gut. I knew coming in that day would be something to regret, but I wanted to be someone Sasuke could still respect-someone I could respect when it was over and I'd be wasting away alone and loveless for all eternity. Yes, that's how optimistic I was. Considering he was confessing his love to a common flirt when I'd been his best friend for years in hopes he would even consider me, I'd say forever alone was pretty generous. At least I had cats in that scenarios. Last night's musings left me rotting in a ditch and drowning in my own tears. I definitely deserved some cats and respect. Too bad I didn't have the body to be a gold digger. Then at least I could fill the void slapping Karin across the face with fat wads of cash.

Anyway, I thought walking down the halls would be the worst part, what with the whispers that weren't there and my paranoia that everyone was mocking me. I swear I even saw sympathy in the eyes of one girl that made me shrivel up inside. I felt like a little girl lost in a grocery store where strangers lurked around every aisle, only worse. I was in a grocery store for the convicted child molesters of the world. It didn't help I was so short. I felt dwarfed by everyone. I was defenseless, rejected before he even had the chance to rip my heart out.

Turns out there was a worse part. I turned the corner. Through the masses of students, I spotted Sasuke on the other end, standing outside of his homeroom. What's worse, Muddy Eyes was on the tip toes of her terrible rubber flats. Her lips whispered menacingly close to his ear, smugness tugging up at their corners. I imagined he could feel her breath on his cheek. I hoped to God it smelled like some rank diet drink I was almost certain she drank every morning. Sasuke hated girls like that, right? He told me so, but then, he also never told me about Karin. Maybe I should be more annoying like that. Maybe he'd stop taking me for granted.

Focus, Sakura. Your world is falling apart. I thought self-respect is what we decided to cling to.

Sasuke's eyes widened in what I was sure had to be shock, surprise and... repulsion, though his expression was generally so secretive and composed, that all fell away in a rare moment of unguardedness. It killed me to think what was running though his head then. Muddy Eyes planted her feet back on the ground and spotted me. She pointed and Sasuke looked over, staring at me with that same disbelieving expression.

Tears I hadn't noticed pooling flowed down a cheek, a sob taking me by surprise. I harshly rubbed the tear away with the heel of my palm while sniffling and turning back to where I came from. I sprinted without pausing to think.

My legs pumped me faster than I believed possible for someone who failed gym. Okay, it's impossible to fail gym, but I had stubby legs. Stubby, ugly legs. God, I felt so ugly running back though the hallways. This time people were really murmuring about me. The snot dripping from my nose, the unpleasant crinkled look one adorns when their face is doing a prime impersonation of a rocky riverbed, and the cowardly, primal sounds ripping though my throat. I bolted out the door and off school grounds, never stopping, only once tripping on some stupid curb I would've kicked in retaliation had I not been in such a hurry.

After I passed the convenience store nearby, I slowed down. I was gasping for air through sobs. I sounded somewhat like a vacuum, only shakier, like a dying vacuum. That just got run over by a truck. The sobs were less frequent, but still just as forceful. I had calmed down a bit, my core burning and pulse jumping in my chest and neck. What was wrong with me? I continued to walk with my hands in my pockets, hunched over with my hood up, though it wasn't too cold. It was the closest thing I had to a paper bag at the moment. What happened to all that self-respect and courage I was supposed to have? I was just kidding myself, wasn't I? I couldn't even face the rejection I'd had years to prepare for.

I kept walking toward my house, stopping at the next convenience store I crossed paths with. I needed Coke. Like Coca-Cola. I was addicted to the stuff. I needed sugar and comfort. I dragged myself through the front door, miserable as could be and collapsed on my living room couch. I had a headache. My arms and legs were Jell-o. I was beat. I decided I officially didn't want to deal with it when I heard my mother's footsteps.

"Honey, what's wrong? Why aren't you at school?" I lazily raised my head to see her over the back of the couch. She was putting her earrings in, looking concerned. Unfortunately, she caught a glimpse of my face.

"Mergnelf," was the most coherent answer I could come up with before dropping my head again, but it seemed to work for her.

"You look terrible," she said, being the 'tell it as it is' kind of woman I inherited my honesty from. "You can only be out 'sick' for a week, tops, got it? I have to go to work. You gonna be able to manage yourself?"

I held up my plastic grocery bag filled with Coke. It was all the answer she needed. I heard her keys jingle and the front door open. "Okay, take care of yourself."

The door slammed. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing steadily. I tried to push out all the humiliation and self-loathing. At least I could make it all go away for a while with a nap.

I have the whole story written, so the next chapters will be coming at you slowly but surely. At least stay around for the good parts to get going, right?