Jack's feet pounded on the surface of the track. His body ached from the intensity of his workout. Knowing he should go home, he instead pushed himself to run a little longer. Today had been the hardest ever. Sitting in the memorial service had been hard, but the fact that when he tried to hold Sue's hand, she had pulled away crushed him. Usually, in public at least, she would make an effort to look like the happily married couple most still believed they were. Now he was losing even that. And the worst part was, he had no idea how to fix it.
As was his ritual, he shoved his emotions aside with exercise. As soon as the service was over, he made his way to the gym. For the last two hours he had lifted weights, rowed, sit-ups, and anything else he could think of to keep from facing the things that were truly bothering him.
His body finally protested loud enough for him to give in, and he headed for the showers. On his way to the locker room, he did not fail to notice a few appreciative stares from some ladies walking down the hallway. This was nothing new to him. His whole adult life woman had noticed him. Partly, he supposed, because he kept himself in shape. Sue used to tell him it was his eyes. "No woman can resist those eyes, Sparky," he remembered her saying more than once. Apparently they did not have much of an affect on her anymore. On this particular day, he wondered if maybe it was time to just give up. Commitment had kept him in this marriage this long, but he wondered if it was worth it.
Shaking off his thoughts, he showered quickly and headed towards the car. Everyone from the team was getting together tonight, as they had last year after the service. Even though remembering was hard, he found it good therapy for his weary heart. Even if only for tonight, he would choose to remember the good stuff. He would revel in the stories that made them laugh. He knew, of course, that after Sue went to sleep later tonight, he would shed tears for all the laughs he might have shared if his friend had lived.
Pulling open the car door, he threw his bag inside and then settled himself behind the wheel. As he started the motor, he reached over to turn on the radio. The sound that filled his car caused his heart to stop. Memories of that first date flooded him as he heard the song that he had sung to her all those years ago.
"Could I have this dance,
For the rest of my life
Would you be my partner every night
When we're together it feels so right
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life."
Closing his eyes, he allowed the tears to flow. Finally releasing his broken heart. It was not hard for his mind's eye to see her, just as she had looked that night. How her face had glowed when he told her he loved her. It was this very song that had helped him express that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Putting his head in his hands he wept for the woman who she had been…for the woman he had lost. He wept for their son. He wept for himself. Two years of pent up emotions tore into his heart, rendering him unable to do more than sit there crying.