Her car is dimly lit, but I can just make out the tears rolling down her cheeks.
'What number am I?' I ask her, not wanting to know the answer.
'12...' She says, her voice a mere wisper.
'Who's last'
'Just listen to it, dont listen to yours. She wouldnt want you to hear what she said, she didnt mean it'
'What did she say Cat? I need to know, I need to hear her voice'
She dosen't understand what i'm going through, nobody does.
'Dont do this Beck, just listen to the last tape. This is selfish, but i need you to know what i know, i cant do this on my own.'
'What about the rest of them, i need to know why she died. i cant let it go, not after all this!'
'It's not worth it Beck, the things i have hard in these tapes will haunt me till i die and i cant do a damn thing about it!'
The rain beats down hard on the roof, I hear her inhale deeply as she trys to carry on.
'Please listen to the last tape, i can not do this alone.'
She looks at me with her teary eyes and i just cant take it any more.
Without thinking i reach out for her and wrap her in a hug. I hold her in my arms as she cries.
'Youre not allone' I wisper into her ear 'i'm here'
She calms down eventually and looks into eyes, then she motions to the tape player in her car and i know it's time. Together we take the tape from my bag and put it into the machine. With our fingers intertwined, she reaches out and presses play.
The sound of statick fills the air, Cat glanses up at me and mouth 'I'm sorry' , before i have chance to respond, Jades voice kicks in.
One last try...
Cat grips my hand, her nails digging into my skin.
This is it, I'm giving life one last try. This time I'm going to ask for help, because I cant do it alone.
I was there for you Jade. Cat's nails have broke my skin, my pain must be no comoarison to hers though.
I suppose if your hearing this then I suppose i've failed, or he's failed.
He? Who is he Jadey, who failed you?
And if he fails, then thr deal is sealed. Only one person stands between you and this collection of tapes, Sikowitz.
No, he cant know about this. Me and Jade have him first period every day for drama. I dont want him to know about this, not me, not anyone.
Cat's grip gets tighter and tighter, she cant look up, the tears are falling from her face onto her lap.
Right then Sikowitz, lets see how you do.
There'ss a rusteling sound, I think she's putting the tape in her pocket.
-Hello Jade, what brings you here?
That's him, Sikowitz.
Sir, what do you think about life.
-Not much, you live then you die, no big deal.
Shut up you stupid man! it is a big deal!
- Why do you ask?
No reason...
She sniffles and I know shes about to cry.
-Jade, I...
I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!
-What? Jade your not making any sense..
The lies, the roumers... life.
-oh Jade, you need to get help.
That's what sh's trying to do you fool! HELP HER!
'Help her' I yell again and again. Cat's hand finds it's way to my arm, soothing me.
Nevermind, I should go.
DONT LET HER GO!
-ok, if your sure...
Goodbye sikowitz.
The door klicks and she leaves.
I'm walking away now, he's not coming. Well then, that's it.
I really am sorry.
The tape clicks as it reached the end of the spool.
No! That cant be it.
'NO! THAT CANT BE THE END!'
'NO'
I cant take this any more, i have to go.
Before i realise what i'm doing i get out of the car and run.
'Beck dont dont do this, it's over and theres nothing we can do!'
I can hear he calling me but i cant turn back.
I know whati must do, it's the only way to be at peace.
Cat reaches out for me but she cant help me now.
The bridge is there, it's just to convenient.
I step up onto the ledge and look down.
That's it i'm going to jump, just one step and i'm gone, forever.
And that was it, i was going to do it whe i heard it. A tiny little sob.
How can i be so stupid, i cant do this to her. I turn round to look at her. She's standing there, so beautiful looking at me.
She takes my hand in hers withiut saying a word and leads me off the ledge. I open my mouth to speak to her but before i can her arms are wrapped arround my neck her head on my sholder.
'Dont you EVER dok that to me again' She says to me between the sobs.
I dont even know what to say to her 'I am so sorry' I mange. She looks up at me and befor i know it her lips are on mine. She's hesetant at first but as my hands fall to her tiny waist she musters up all the passion she can.
'Let me drive you home' she says to me, i so badly want spent the nmight with her, she conforts me more that she'll ever know. But i know she'd want to take things slow.
I aggree and we walj hand in hand to her car. The tapes are there, waiting for us i reach for the tapes but she pulls them out of reach. Quickly, she goes to the boot of her car and pulls out a small shoe box, idenyicak to the box containg my tapes.
She takes my hand and we walk to the nearest trashcan, she dumpes both sets of tapes in and reaches into her pocket for a lighter.
She takes my hand and tells me that nobody else has to know, with that she light the tapes and just like that, Jade is gone.