Just wanted to say thanks to those who have read this story so far, and thanks to those who have reviewed. Especially Ditte3. You are very kind. This is a tough story for me, as there are a lot of emotions that are happening in every characters life, and I want to convey them. I also hated to have Bobby die, but as I said before, this story has played in my brain and screamed to be written. So anyway, I hope that I will be able to give you the picture that is in my head, and i hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Don't worry, "...joy comes in the morning..."
Sue had not wanted to come tonight, but for some reason, Jack had been persistent. For the last two years she had basically lived her life and he had lived his. Normally, if he asked her to do something with him, she would refuse, and he would go about doing it without her. But tonight, he had insisted that she go with him. When they talked, it was normally to fight, and she did not have the energy to fight tonight, so she had donned the appropriate attire, and had joined him as he was heading to the car.
Not one word had been spoken since they left the house, but she sensed that there was something different about him. He seemed less angry than he had recently. Several times on the way, she had seen him glancing at her, an unusual look in his eyes. In some part of her brain it intrigued her. Made her feel good that he seemed to be noticing her. The other part of her was infuriated. The fact that he wanted her to come tonight was surely so that the rest of the team would assume they were the happy couple that everyone remembered. By the time they stopped in front of the restaurant, she was wishing she had fought him, and not come.
Lucy and Kevin were already waiting, and Lucy greeted Sue with a hug. Lucy had been such a good friend to Sue, but recently they had grown apart. In fact, Sue could not think of anyone that she had not grown apart from recently.
As she saw Tara and Myles walk in, she was acutely aware of the rift between her and Tara. A wave of sadness washed over her, as she wished she could run the other way. Tara came and hugged her, but Sue knew it was only because she felt she was supposed to. She hugged her back wishing she could tell her how sorry she was that she had been with Bobby that day. Knowing that it was all her fault that Bobby had died. If Sue had been anywhere else, Bobby would be alive, and Tara would have a husband to raise her son with. The guilt that tore into her heart as she watched Tara nearly suffocated her.
Sitting down beside Jack, she dreaded the evening. Even though this group always tried to keep her in the conversation, there were always times they forgot. Sue knew that this evening would be no different. Although, tonight she was not sure she wanted to be involved. They would be reliving memories. Memories she thought were best left forgotten. If she could forget, maybe the pain would go away.
Tara sat right across from Sue, and as she looked up at Tara, she noticed something in her eyes. She seemed peaceful. How could Tara be peaceful. She had lost as much as anyone that day, and yet her eyes showed a contentment that Sue could not understand. When Tara looked up Sue wanted to avoid her, but Tara caught her gaze and held it. There were tears in both of their eyes when Tara signed, "I miss you Sue." It was so unexpected that it nearly did Sue in, but she fought to remain composed.
"Thanks Tara. Me too." At that moment, Myles sat down beside Tara, and the conversation was redirected. Soon they were discussing cases that had long since been solved, and funny things that happened in the bullpen.
To Sue's amazement, every time she thought she was about to get lost, Jack would turn and sign to her. He had not been this attentive for awhile, and it made her struggle to keep her emotions in check. Especially when their friends started reminding them about their "first marriage" and the time that they "made out" at the lawyers office while they were undercover. Each reminder of what she had once with the man beside her, made her heart hurt. She could see from his face, that he too was having a hard time containing his emotions, and she wondered if maybe he could still feel something for her…even though she could not have a family for him. Quickly dismissing this train of thought, she excused herself to go to the restroom, hoping to get herself under control.
Arriving back at the table, several minutes later, she saw that Lucy and Tara looked slightly teary eyes, and Myles seemed to be struggling with emotions. As she sat down, she caught Jack finishing a story about when he and Bobby had trained under Wes, tears freely rolling down his cheeks. When he finished, everyone at the table seemed to pause to remember their friends.
Out of the blue, Sue felt Jack's hand find her own under the table. Not wanting to make a scene, she didn't refuse him as she had earlier in the day. However, she nearly came apart as she felt his thumb rub over her fingers. When the food came, and he removed his hand, she was surprised to she realize that she missed the connection.