A/N: Hey everyone sorry it took so long for me to finish it's just that this is my favorite chapter and I cried so many times while writing this I had to stop every now and again. This chapter is really important to me So I hope you all love it.

PlZ Review i really hope you all like this chapter. If you don't let me know what it was that you didn't like.

Any way here's chapter 14 - The Funeral

Chapter 14 - Jude

Have you ever had the feeling that you were being followed? Well I have had that feeling ever since I left my house and headed towards the airport with Sadie, Kwest and Tommy.

Now I know what you may be thinking. 'Oh romantic couples getaway.' but in all reality it is the total opposite.

You see Sam just found out today that her baby's father was killed in a car accident. So now we all are headed to New York for the funeral.

Everyone in the car is making small talk about any thing they can think of. But insteading of engaging in conversation with them I stared out the window.

Frankly all the meaningless talking is annoying me. Why can't we sit in silence.

"So T did you catch the Yankee game against the Blue Jays."

"Yeah man I did. Jeter hit a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth and won the game for them."

"PLEASE! Can we not talk." I yelled. Told you they were annoying me.

Since Tommy was sitting in the front with Kwest he turned around and glared at me.

"Whats your problem Harrison."

"Nothing can we please just drive in silence."

"Fine."

Tommy turned around and I sighed as I started to look out the window again.

As I stared out the window I felt as if someone was watching me. I tried to think about something else to help ease my mind. But it didn't do anything. I still felt scared.

"Jude, Earth to Jude. JUDE!"

"What!" I screamed. I was brought back to reality by Sadie yelling at me.

"We're here."

All of us got out the car and walked through the parking lot and into the Airport.

As soon as we got in we noticed Sam, Natalie and Eric near a terminal.

God Sam looks completely horrible. Her eyes are all red and swollen, Her hair is a mess and she looks like she's been awake for 72 hours straight.

We slowly made our way towards them and once we were face to face Sam pulled me and Sadie into a tight hug.

"Thanks for coming you guys. I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem Sam. Your our sister and you need us." Sadie whispered in her ear.

"Ms. Morales."

"Yeah."

"You all can board the plane now."

"Thank you Mike. Come on guys. By the way this is the Pilot Michael Caine."

We all greeted the tall handsome pilot, walked through the terminal and onto the plane.

WOW! Sam's grandfather's private jet is so beautiful. It has pictures of Sam and her family everywhere big comfy seats and even a child seat for Natalie. It also has a big screen TV in it with a very large selection of movies.

All of us sat down in the same area. Well all except Sam. She sat in what I guessed is her grandfathers personal seat which was like 4 rows in back of where we sat. We all thought nothing of it. After all she is hurting. More than any of us.

"Please fasten your seat belts and have your seats in an upright postion we should be taking off in 5 minutes." Mike stated over the loud speaker.

Once again a feeling of uneasy-ness rushed over my body as I glanced out the window I was sitting next to and saw a man staring at me.

"Ok now thats creepy." I said alittle to loud than I planned.

"Whats creepy." Tommy questioned looking at me.

"Theres a man out there staring at me."

Tommy unbuckled his seat belt and looked out my window.

"There is no one out there." he said while going back to his seat and re-buckling himself in.

"What ever lets just leave this country already."

As soon as I said that the plane roared into action and took off down the runway and into the sky.

"And in a half an hour we'll all be in New York City." I whispered

Narrator

Samantha sat at the back of the plane and stared at the paper in front of her. It was the song she wrote for Noel.

"How am I going to survive this.." she whispered quietly. She silently sighed as she shut her eyes.

"Your going to get through this because your strong and I believe in you."

Samantha quickly opened her eyes and came face to face with the man she secretly loved.

"How's the song coming?"

"It's going ok but it could be better. I mean all my emotions are captured in this song but I mean there's really no passion."

"The passion comes when you sing the song. You know that and I know that. And I know you have that passion and thats one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. You have that rare fiery passion that comes out when you sing."

"I know and you've helped me a lot along the way. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am right now. After all you are the one that told me to try out for instant star."

"Yeah I know, tu eres mi amor (you are my love) and I can't wait until I get to Toronto so I can be a family with you and Natalie."

Samantha stayed silent.

"Whats wrong."

"Noel thats never going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Because your dead. You died in a car accident."

"Thats impossible I'm sitting right here in front you."

"It's not real your just in my memories. Thats all I have now"

"Well does that mean I can't come back and visit?"

"When ever you want."

"You promise you wont forget me."

"How could I ever forget that father of my child my best friend."

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Our little girl. Promise me you'll remind her everyday that I love her and that no matter what I'm looking out for her."

"I promise."

"Ok. Well I got to go. See you in your dreams."

"You know it."

With that Noel got up from his seat and disappeared.

"You know I love you right." his voice rang out in her ears.

"I know Noel. and I love you too."

Plane began to shake and it woke Sam up from her sleep,

"I'm sorry folks seems as if we hit some turbulence. Please fasten your seat belts. We should land in New York in 15 minutes."

Everyone fasten their seat belts and began a little bit of light talking. Although Sam and Jude were still out of if it, every once in a while someone would say something to them but instead of them responding they continued what they were doing.

25 minutes later the plane landed, everyone got off and walked over to the 8 passanger hummer that was waiting to take them to Sam's Grandfathers private house.

"This car is hot." Kwest exclaimed as he got inside.

"Yeah real hot. Drive Joey."

45 minutes later everyone arrived at the private house. Immediately Sam went to her old room with Natalia and went to sleep.

She was in no mood to hear people console her and ask how she was doing.

As soon as Natalia laid in her crib she was out like a light. And Samantha was so grateful for it.

She could hear everyone walk past her door every five minutes or so and occasionally someone would knock but she decided against letting them in.

Over in Jude and Sadie's room, Sadie was complaining about the way Samantha was behaving.

"I mean come on the least she could do is make sure we're ok."

"Sadie lay off her would you. She just lost the father of her child."

"But she could be kind enough and talk to us."

"Oh please. You acted the same way when grandma passed away. Remember you didn't speak to anyone for like 2 weeks."

Suddenly Sadie felt bad about what she just said about Sam.

"Alright I'm sorry. Lets go to bed."

"Actually I'm going to walk around the estate I can't sleep right now."

"Ok night Jude."

Jude left her room and started to walk around the estate.

At the same exact time Sam left her room after she seen Eric and Natalie sleeping soundly.

"Jude!" Sam called.

"Yeah"

"You ok. You seemed quite the whole way here."

"I could say the same for you."

"Well I was busy writing a song for Noel. His mom asked me to sing at the funeral."

"Oh."

"So enough about me. Whats wrong with you. Come on we'll talk in the backyard."

Samantha and Jude walked out to the backyard and started talking.

"I don't know Sam it's like I'm being followed or watched and its scaring the hell out of me."

"Well how long has this been going on."

"For 2 days now."

"Jude why are you just now telling me this you could be in danger."

"Because you have your own problems to worry about I didn't want you to worry over me too."

"Too late now. Alright we'll finish talking about this in the morning I have to go to bed before Eric wakes up and finds that im not there."

"Alright." Samantha still saw the un-easiness in Jude's eyes

"Look I have an idea follow me."

Sam and Jude walked up stairs to Kwest and Tommy's room.

"Sam what if they're asleep." Jude asked Sam once they reached the door.

"We're not sleeping." Tommy said as he opened the door and allowed the two girls to enter.

"Sadie I thought you went to bed."

"No and she is the reason why we can't go to bed. She over here nagging Kwest about there something being wrong with you."

"Well she's right." Sam simply stated.

"What?"

"Jude has this god awful feeling that she is being followed and watched. So I was thinking we could do a little switch up. Tommy you stay with Jude. To keep an eye on her only." Sam quickly added when she saw Tommy's face light up. "And Kwest you and Sadie can take Sadie's room."

"Alright deal." Everyone said

"Now can we get some sleep I'm tired." Kwest whined.

"Fine lets go."

Everyone left Tommy and Jude's room. And went into theirs and went to sleep.

2 days later - The Funeral - Samantha

The past two days here in New York were all a blur. I barely remember anything that happened.

I know I spent most the time in my room with Jude and she was telling me about how the night we got here that she and Tommy slept together.

I also remember Noel's mom coming to give me a letter and a little box that Noel left for me that was attached to his will. After I read the letter and opened the box I cried the rest of the day.

And now here I am at the funeral for the man I loved.

The service was held at the private catholic school I used to go to called St Angela Merici.

"Mommy I want to go to daddy" Natalie cried as she tried to wiggle out of my arms.

"Natalie sweetie right now you can't Daddy's sleeping" I replied in pain. I really don't know how I can explain to her that her dad's not coming back.

"Before we begin this service I would like for Marie Sanchez to come to the podium and read the poem she wrote for her son."

Ok I can't take this. Please god give me strength.

His mom gets up from her seat and slowly makes her way up to the podium. I could very easily see the fresh tears that fell down her face. And I can't blame her because as I gently touched my cheek I realized I too had fresh tears.

Funeral Blues By: W. H. Auden

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drumBring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let airplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

I watched him mom exit the podium and return to her seat. I then watched as she turned around to me and put on a faint smile.

"Please join me in the Lord's prayer." The priest asked as everyone rose out of their seats.

"Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our debts and we forgive
our debtors,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdom and the power
and the glory, forever. Amen."

We all sat down and continued to listen to the priest speak. Me I zoned out and the end of the prayer and started to have flash backs of me, Noel and Natalie when we were happy.

I snapped my self from my memories in time to hear the priest finish Noel's little biography.

"Noel leaves behind a 2 year old daughter, the mother of his child Samantha Morales, His parents and his 2 younger siblings Marisol and Enrique. Now we will have a few words and a song from his 'wife' Samantha."

This is it the moment I dreaded ever since I found out he was gone.

"Your brave you can do this. Don't forget I love you." his voice is ringing through my ears.

Slowly with every step I take a tear falls down my cheek.

Finally I reach the podium.

Hello everyone my name is Samantha Morales and before I sing my song. I actually would like to read the letter Noel left for me in his will. I believe by reading this letter you all will get a different view of Noel and know that he wasn't always the mean disrespectful man mostly everyone thought he was. That he was actually a soft and loveable man deep down inside and that man is the one I fell in love with."

The room briefly broke out into small whispers over my last statement.

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat to get their attention.

"To the woman I once lived and breathed for,

If your reading this letter that must mean that something tragic happened that took my life so I decided to write you this letter and attach it to my will for you to read once I'm gone. Ever since the day I met you I knew you would be impossible to forget. From the minute you walked into the physical therapy office and smiled at me to the moment we first spoke to each other. I knew you were someone special. Our relationship per-say was hidden from the world for various reasons. One big reason was our age difference. I knew from the moment you told me you were pregnant that people would look down on us. But none of that had ever stopped me from supporting you in your time of need and growing to love you. Now here we are a year later with a little baby girl and a love that neither of us could deny. No matter how hard we try. It is now 2 a.m. on July 4, 2006 and I'm looking down at you and our beautiful 3 month old daughter sleep and I can't help but smile. Who would of thought a player like myself would end up settled now with a woman and a child. Not me. I never thought I would find the one person that makes me happy or the one woman I would want to marry. But when you stepped into my life all of that changed. You made me smile like no other, you made me want to change my play boy ways, And YOU were the woman I wanted to marry. But I never told you that, nor did I tell you that the day you gave birth to Natalia I went out and bought you an engagement ring. Obviously I never purposed and I have a good reason why I didn't. Because I knew you loved Eric. But I didn't stress it because I knew you loved me too. Although you never said it, I saw it in your eyes, I saw it when you woke up next to me in the morning, when I was playing with Natalie and when I said something funny to make you laugh when you were depressed.. You thought I never noticed but I did and just knowing that you loved me as much as I loved you was all the hope I ever needed for us to one day be together. Tu eres mi amor.( You are my love). You've changed me so much but you probably don't even know it. But I'll tell you something. When people ask me what was the sudden event that happened in my life to make me change my ways. I simply responded by saying 'I found the one woman who gets me the most. The one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.' and I meant you. I also want you to promise me something. No matter how old Natalie is when I pass away I want you to remind her everyday that her daddy loves and cares for her deeply. And no matter what I'm looking down on and protecting her while I'm up in heaven. Well I'm going to close this letter now but before I do. The song we wrote together is attached to this and I want you to sing it at my funeral. Dedicate it to me, you and the love we shared.

Until we meet again... All my love.

Noel."

Finally I finished the letter and when I looked up everyone was in tears. Even Sadie and Jude and they didn't even know him.

Wiping away my tears I started to speak again.

"The first song I'm going to sing is the one Noel co-wrote with me. It's called "How Do I Love." (By LeAnn Rimes)

How do I get through the night without you
If I had to live without you
What kinda life would that be
Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You are my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave
baby you would take away
everything good in my life
and tell me now

How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live

Without you
There would be no sun in my sky
there would be no love in my life
there'd be no world left for me

And I, baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave
baby you would take away
everything real in my lifeand tell me

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live

Please tell me baby how do I go on

If you ever leave
baby you would take away everything
need you with me
baby don't you know that you are
everything good in my life

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
if you ever go
how do I ever, ever survive
how do I, how do I, oh how do I live

How do I live without you?
How do I live without you, baby?
How do I live without you?

When I finished the song everyone was crying. Even Eric had tears in his eyes. Tommy's eyes were glistening with tears but none fell.

Me I haven't stopped crying. I paused a couple of times in the middle of the song to control my emotions.

"Now this song is the one I wrote. Once I finish this song I will then put the lyrics and a picture into the coffin with Noel so he can get buried with it. This song is dedicated to him and only him.. It is called 'Missing You'." (By Brandy, Tamia, Gladys Knight, and Chaka Khan.)

Though I'm missin you ( although I'm missin you)

I'll find the way to get through ( I'll find the way to get through)

living without you...

coz' you were my lover, my strength and my pride

only God may know why

still I will get by

Who would have known

that you had to go

so suddenly so fast..

how could it be

that a sweet memory

would be all... all that we'd have left

but now that you're gone

Everyday I go on (I go on)

but life's just not the same (life's just not the same)

I'm so empty inside

and my tears I can't hide

but I'll try, I'll try to face the pain

Though I'm missin you ( although I'm missin you)

I'll find the way to get through ( I'll find the way to get through)

living without you...

coz you were my lover, my strength and my pride

only God may know why

still I will get by

ohhhh there was so many things (uuh)

that we could have shared

uh huh (yeah)...if time was on our side(if time was on our side)

ooh yeah

but now that you're gone

I can still feel you near me

so I'd smile, with every tear I cry..

Though I'm missin you ( although I'm missin you)

I'll find the way to go through ( I'll find the way to go through)

livin without you

coz you were my lover, my strength and my pride

only God may know why, still I will get by..

how sweet were the closest of friends

but I'll wait for the day

when I'll see you again

see you again

Although I'm missin you (but I'll find the way to get through uuuh)

I'll find the way to get through (Living without you)

cos you are my lover (you are my lover)

my strength and my pride

only God ( only God)

may know why (may know why)

still I will get by

I'm missin you (although)

although im missing you( I'm missing you)

I'll find the way to get through

(I'll find a way, I'll find a way, I'll find a wayyy)

coz' you are my lover ( you are my lover)

my strength and my pride

only God (only God)

may know why (may know why)

still i will get byyy

im missing, missing, missing ,missing, missing you

oh yes i am

im missing youuu.

Now I'm finally finished and I step off the podium and walk over to Noel's casket.

I slowly folded the paper and put it in his hands along with the picture and his rosary.

Before I went back to my seat I bent down and planted a soft farewell kiss on his lips. I cried harder knowing that would be the last time I would ever get to do that.

I sat in my seat and listened to the priest talk more about Noel and his life.

Eric held onto me the rest of the time and 5 minutes before the service was over Natalie fell asleep.

The service is finally over. Well for everyone else anyway. Noel's mom asked if me and Natalie would come with her to the cemetery. Of course I said yeah. And then she said for support the guys could come with me.

I told Sadie and Jude but told them they didn't have to come. And if they wanted to they could take the guys sight seeing. They were reluctant at first but after much needed talking they agreed.

They went their separate ways and Eric walked with me, Marie and Natalie to the limo.

5 minutes later we were off to the cemetery.

Instead of eating I mourn, and I can never stop groaning. Everything I feared and dreaded came true. I have no peace, no rest and my troubles never end.

Except from the bible Job chapter 3 verse 24

In this moment that except from the bible is all I can think about as we drive in silence to the cemetery.

I haven't eaten since I got here and the one thing I feared since Natalie was born happened. Noel left me alone to raise her and now this except hits too close to home.

After a 20 minute drive the limos pull up near Noel's grave side.

5 minutes later the priest was saying a prayer and throwing holy water all over Noel's casket it as it began to lower into the ground.

"In sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through our lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Noel Robert Sanchez; and we commit his body into the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes; dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord makes his face shine upon him and be gracious unto him and give him peace. Amen." The priest stated as the casket finally reached the end of the 6 feet.

Once again tears poured down my face and then to make this day any more horrible. I heard the loud cracking of thunder followed by the clouds opening up and engulfing me and everyone around me in water.

Everyone started to run towards the limos. But instead of following them I stayed. I was planted into the spot I first walked into. It was the spot right near the tombstone.

Looking up from the plot that the love of my life was just lowered into I read the tombstone.

"Here Lies Noel Robert Sanchez. Loving Son, Wonderful Father and Great Husband."

That last part put a faint smile on my lips. And after I read that part I looked at my left hand ring finger where Noel's ring was wrapped snug around my slim finger.

I felt the tears in my eyes threating to be released but they never fell.

"Dina mami get in the car you'll catch a cold." Marie called to me from the car.

"I'm fine go on home without me. I'm gonna stay here a while."

Marie didn't say another word to me and after 5 minutes I heard all the cars start and pull out the cemetery.

After I heard the last car fade off into the distance I collapsed onto the muddy ground and cried.

I sat on the edge of the plot and allowed my feet to hang into the hole and absentmindedly I began to sing. Not once did I ever feel any of the rain drops fall onto my body.

I was completely numb to the world. One of the few men I held near and dear to my heart was suddenly ripped out of my arms without a minutes notice. No one could understand the pain I felt right now.

I loved him and not once did I ever get a chance to tell him. But now that I am ready to announce it to him and the entire world. God played a sick and twisted game and snatched him out of my life without a goodbye.

"I love you." I screamed. "Do you hear me Noel. I said I love you." I yelled up to the sky. "I love you." I whispered one more time before I got up and started to walk away from his grave site.

"I heard you and I love you too."

I turned around to the sound of a familiar voice and came face to face with him. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasnt dreaming and when I opened them again he was gone.

Just like that he was gone.

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.