Love Is Never Painless Chapter 18: On The Radio, an instant star fanfic

Chapter 18 - November - Jude

Today I make 2 months. So that means my baby's development process is as follows. His heart and blood vessels form, His head area develops rapidly, The eyes begin to form detail, His internal organs grow, especially the digestive system, His sex organs develop rapidly and sex is distinguished, My baby's arms and legs form and grow, his heart begins to beat faintly, and he is 1 inch long and weighs 1/10 ounce.

This website I'm looking at is very useful. What? You didn't think I knew all that myself did you. Please. I'm smart but not that smart.

Anyway I'm reading this website on my laptop in studio D when Sadie comes in with piles and piles of wedding magazines in her hands.

Almost instantly I groan.

"Aww Sades I don't want to look at wedding dresses anymore. By the time I decide to get married the dumb dress wont even fit me." I whined.

Looking at wedding dresses is really a drag.

"Come on Jude. Tommy wants you in a dress." Sadie whined back.

"Well I'll wear a dress if he has this baby. If he doesn't then I'm not wearing a dress."

Ha I win. I know I won because Sadie dropped the magazines on the table and stormed out the room.

5 minutes later I thought I was safe from Sadie's hassles when she came back into the studio with the cell phone pressed to her ear.

"She's being a hardheaded woman. Can no one deal with her. She is refusing to wear a dress for her wedding." She told who ever it is she's talking to.

That's not true I am wearing a dress to my wedding and the only reason why I don't want to look at magazines is because I already ordered it off line.

It's beautiful and would hopefully fit by the time I want it to.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Sadie punched me on my shoulder.

"Oww Sadie what??" I asked rubbing my shoulder.

"Phone here." Was all she said as I took the phone and she walked out the room.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"You really want me to knock the hell out of you don't you?" The person asked.

I started to laugh. Only one person can talk to me like that and get away with it.

"Sam I have a wedding dress being shipped to me as we speak. I just didn't want to tell Sadie because I want it to be a surprise." I replied casually.

"Well can you please tell her that. I am tired of her calling me when she can't get through to your hard headed ass."

We started laughing together.

It felt really good talking to her again. We haven't spoken since she left and I missed her like crazy. The only way I knew she was ok was because she sent me and Tommy a picture of the baby's first sonogram picture. And that was a week ago.

"So how's Eric?" She asked nervously snapping me out my thoughts for the third time in less than 15 minutes.

"He's ok. He finally stopped asking about you when Tommy finally got annoyed and told him to be a man and call you himself."

"He's been trying. I've changed my cell number 2 times already and my house number. I don't want to talk to him right now Jude. His words burned an permanent hole in my heart."

"I know Sam. You know the paparazzi are going crazy trying to figure out where you ran off to right."

"Way to switch subjects Jude." Sam laughed in my ear. "Yes I know That's why I changed my appearance."

"What do you mean." I asked. This girl confuses me more than math problems.

"I colored my hair black and cut it." She says to me as if its no big deal.

"How short did you cut it."

"Its almost to my shoulders" She tells me in a mere whisper.

"SAMANTHA that is almost all your hair. What did you do that for." I yelled.

Samantha's hair was at the end of her back and now its almost at the shoulders. Can you imagine how short it is.

"It was time for a change." was all the reply I got from her.

"Samantha when I see you I am going to kill you. What does Lani think about your new hair style."

"She loves it. She says I look my age now."

"That's good so I take it you two are talking again."

"Yeah but not as much as we used to. Because Antonio is constantly here and when he is I stay far away from him and her. So we barely have time to sit and talk to each other."

"Does she know your pregnant?"

"Yeah she and my grandfather are happy. They can't wait until this little one is born."

"That's great. Well Sam I'm going to let you go cause I have to write a new song for Darius before he tears my head off."

"Alright Jude. Love you."

"Love you too."

I snapped Sadie's phone shut and laid back on the sofa. It really wasn't easy to say goodbye to Samantha. But hey I'm going to see her soon. My birthday and thanksgiving are coming up so she'll be here.

Now I have to think of a new song for Darius but nothing comes to mind.

Just as I was about to get up and leave who else but Eric walks into the room.

"Quincy isn't in here is he?" he asked nervously

"No Eric he's with Kwest making wedding arrangements." I say with a roll of my eyes.

"Jude can I talk to you?"

"What is it Eric I have to write a new song." I asked becoming annoyed more and more.

"Um I wanted to know um. Have you spoke to Diana." He asked sheepishly.

I quickly sighed angrily.

"Yes Eric I just got off the phone with her."

I saw his eyes light up at the mention of talking to her.

"Did she ask about me?" He asked excitedly.

I don't know what to say I know she asked about him but I want Eric to feel just as she does right now. Like shit.

"No Eric she didn't. But she did tell me she has a new boyfriend and she and Natalia are having fun back home and she forgot how much she loved it there."

Almost instantly I saw his mood change. He went from happy and excited to angry and depressed.

"What about the baby?" he asked me in a mere whisper.

I slowly shook my head 'no' and he started to tear.

Now I feel bad for lying. Maybe I should tell him the truth. Well the truth about Sam asking for him. As for what I said about the baby. I had to tell him no or else Samantha would kill me.

"I see. Well the next time you speak to her tell her I'm sorry please." he pleaded.

"I will."

With that Eric left the room wiping away the few tears that managed to fall on to his face.

Being around him and knowing about the baby is going to be harder than I thought.

Finally I got up and left studio D. Now its time to go to the rehearsal space and write my new song.

But before I could make it out of the G-Major lobby I heard Karma scream then I seen her ran out of Studio B with a little hand held radio.

"Jude listen to this."

She then goes to raise up the radio's volume for everyone to here.

It all suddenly got silent and I turned to find everyone in G-Major the lounge listening to the small hand held device.

"Hey everyone this is Valerie on the mic and we just got 2 bootlegs from Toronto's latest instant star Samantha. She recorded them herself and dedicated both of these song to the man who hurt her deeply. Get this she tells me in the email that the insperation for these songs came from a man she loved who threw her away like yesterday's garbage and she just wants to let him know if he's listening that no matter what she can't get him out her mind and she'll always love him. After we play both songs call us up and tell us what you think. So here we go with the first song called 'Addicted' here on CKLN 88.1."

We waited for a few seconds for the music to start and when I glanced up quickly I saw Eric on the other side of the room bracing himself for what he was about to here.

He knew the songs were about him.

Addicted (By: Kelly Clarkson)

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time

And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me

And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time, then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

Hear Me ( By Kelly Clarkson)

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm Hopi' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowdIt's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me, I'm crying out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down, find me
I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you, to please
Hear me 4x
Can you
Hear me 4x
Can you hear me (oh, no)
Hear me 3x

"Wow welcome back. Now those songs were intense and these boards are lit up like crazy we really haven't seen a reaction like this since her sister Jude's bootlegs came out. Now Jude has some serious competition. Lets take some calls."

Before I could hear the comments from the listeners I saw Eric run out the studios and when I turned to Darius's office I saw him leaning against the doorway with a serious glum face.

"Well I got to go. I need to write a hit song." I told everyone before I ran out the studio. I really didn't want Darius to ask me if I heard from Sam.

One depressed man is all I need to feel guilty for right now.

Finally I'm out of G-Major, in my car, and headed to the space.

A/N: Hey everyone tell me what you think of this story. Seriously I need more that 7 reviews for a chapter. Plz Plz review. I'm dying to know what you all think... and how do you like the songs I picked out..

You Guys Rock,

Diana