Never in his life did he remember a better weekend. Having Tara and Samuel with him all weekend had proven to be the best gift he could have ever received. As he sat waiting for Tara, who had gone to take a shower, he closed his eyes and remembered.
Saturday had been very cold, so they had found an indoor play area, and spent most of the morning playing. Tara had sat by quietly as he and Samuel had run around together. Myles had tried to get in some of the tunnels, but that had been more difficult than he first imagined. Samuel, however, had not seemed to mind.
After Samuel went to bed on Saturday evening, Tara had made hot chocolate, and they had played chess together. Not the most romantic game in the world, but Myles found it extremely enjoyable. As always, he was in awe at the woman who had captured his heart. He had known for a long time that Tara was extremely smart, but listening to her, and watching her, he was astounded by how gifted she truly was.
After a couple of games, they had retired to the couch, watching a movie and snuggling together. Although they kissed some, they both were very careful not to let things get out of control. With Tara staying in the guest room, they knew it would be easy to make a mistake they would regret later. The depth of their feelings for each other breeding a passion that they both knew had to be contained.
Since the moment on Friday evening when Tara had accepted him, scars and all, Myles had found the relationship had taken on a more serious tone. He had known they were headed into a serious relationship even before that evening, but since then it was as if their bond had deepened ten fold. No longer was there a moment when he considered his life without her and Samuel. He knew, beyond doubt, that he would spend the rest of his life with them, and he was excited about the prospect.
A chuckle escaped his lips as he remembered going with Tara to pick Samuel up from his Sunday School class earlier. One of his little friends had been picked up by his dad right in front of them, and the youngster had run to his father with a happy grin saying, "Daddy" quite excitedly. As Samuel caught sight of Myles and Tara, he ran to Myles, putting his arms around his leg and squealing, "Myas (his way of saying Myles) Daddy!" He was sure he had turned several shades of red, but he honestly loved hearing this little boy equate him with the word Daddy. Concerned that Tara might not be happy about this slip, he had looked at her as he picked up the toddler. Her smile had been bright, though there were tears in her eyes. Pulling her into a hug, he had whispered in her ear, "I love you, Sweetheart, and I love your son. We're going to figure this out."
She had looked up in his eyes and nodded slightly, as Myles guided her to the car. All through lunch he had wondered about the emotions that she must be dealing with, and wanted to talk to her about them, but decided it would be best to wait until she opened up to him.
Coming back to his apartment after lunch, she had put Samuel down for his nap, and returned to find him in a t- shirt and jeans, sitting on the sofa. She had seemed quiet, as she snuggled up to him. Finally, she had turned towards him so that he could see the tears that stained her cheeks. Placing a hand on either side of her face, he had wiped away the tears, wishing he could take away the pain. As he felt her move closer to him, he willingly closed the gap, first kissing away her tears, then moving to her mouth where he kissed her with a passion that came from a love he had never known before.
When she drew back, he saw more tears coming, and he wondered if she was upset with him, until she spoke. "Do you want him to call you Daddy?"
"Yes." The simple answer was all he could muster, though he longed to say more.
"Me too. " Tears still falling, she continued, "I feel so guilty. I dealt with guilt when I first started having feelings for you, but this is different. I want his son to call you 'Daddy'. Is that right? Should I be happy about that?" Myles saw the emotions warring with her soul, and he longed to make it all better, but he didn't know how.
"Sweetheart, I don't know. I feel guilty too. Bobby was my friend, and I feel like I have benefited from his death. It doesn't seem fair. And yet, I feel confident that he would want you to be happy, and he would want the best for your son." He caressed her cheek with his thumb, looking into her green eyes, hoping to find a way to ease her pain. "If you think it would be better for him to call me Myles, I am ok with that. If you want him to call me Daddy, I would be honored. Either way, I want to be part of his life for the rest of his life. I want to spend my life with you and Samuel, and help you raise him. I also want to tell him about the father that he will never meet this side of heaven."
Somehow, she had seemed at peace with that, and together they had laid back on the couch and fallen asleep. Thinking back to those moments, he realized that the conversation was deeper than just what name Samuel would call him. It was a commitment. Admitting to each other that they both wanted the same thing. A future….together.