Present Day (Day 4)...
You have called a morning staff meeting at VIBE. Everyone stands before you, from security to housekeeping to bar staff.
"Okay guys. As you know tonight we are hired out to a group of one hundred and twenty people." You say with a smile.
"What's the occasion?" One of your staff members asks.
"UK Council for Psychotherapy Annual Conference Ball." You say referring to the tablet computer in your hand then look at your employees. "Basically, it's an excuse for a bunch of shrinks to get pissed and wind down after days cooped up listening to seriously boring stuff. These guys are going to be expecting the best and we will be here to deliver."
You point at the bar and catering staff. "We'll make upstairs into the dining room. Each table gets two bottles of red and white wine. That's included in the meal price. Anything extra gets charged. Do you have everything you need, guys?"
They nod so you turn to housekeeping.
"And down here, I have a couple of banners that the organisers have asked me to put up around the dance floor. Otherwise we will keep things as they are. You can't improve on perfection!" You give them a wink. "I'd just give the place a once over. Make sure you set the tables early upstairs so you can help elsewhere if you are needed."
"I am still waiting to hear from the florist. We may not have flower arrangements for the tables." Your head housekeeper says apologetically.
"Nothing we can do now. Let's keep our fingers crossed" You say. You think quickly. "We still have some white candles from the White Ball last month. Use them is the flowers are a no show."
"What time are we expecting the guests?" A bartender asks.
"Six for drinks. Seven to sit for dinner. Speeches at eight-thirty before dessert. Oh yeah, make sure everyone has a full glass of complimentary champagne for that. And then they want the party to start from about nine-thirty down here. Night finishes at one."
"So an all night bender then. Rock and roll!"
You look at who said that sarcastic comment.
Declan. He wasn't here a second ago. He must have sneaked in without you realising.
"Glad you could join us, Deccy!" You say with dry humour.
"Thank you! I have some good news. I went past the florists on my way here and used my considerable charm." He grins and winks at you. "The flower arrangements will be delivered to your exacting standards in three hours, Niks. No need to say 'you are the greatest, Dec'."
"Suck up!" One of the staff ribs him, eliciting a ripple of laughs from the others.
"God, you are just like your dad!" You say in exasperation.
"Thank you." He says with a bow.
"Where is Brendan?" Someone asks.
"Yeah, he hasn't been in for a couple of days now." Someone else says.
You feel like you are under the spotlight. You don't want to say anything that will give away the fact that your friend has not been physically and mentally fit enough to come to work recently. You open your mouth to speak but Dec saves you,
"He was at THE ELECTRIC yesterday. But he is taking things easy. I saw him last night. He is fine."
He grins broadly as if holding a satisfying secret to himself.
"Good. Good." You say, trying to keep your voice light. "Okay, we have a lot to do, guys, and only a few hours to do it. Let's go. Any questions, just ask. I'll be in the office."
You give them an encouraging smile and head off to the corner room.
Once you get in and close the door, you allow your smile to fall. You sit yourself at your desk and ruminate.
When did your life become so complicated and full of secrets? And why do these secrets all revolve around Brendan?
You can't stand looking at Deccy's happy countenance. It breaks your heart. He will never forgive you if he finds out that you knew about his father and didn't say anything. Brendan has put you into a difficult situation.
And you have learned in a chance meeting with Martin at THE ELECTRIC that Stephen is engaged to be married. Fucking MARRIED!
You don't know how you feel about it. These last few days, since Ste's peripheral re-appearance in Brendan's life, your mood has been all over the place.
Part of you feels that Brendan should never know about his ex's pending nuptials. It would upset him further even though he acting as if nothing is affecting him.
When you asked him, yesterday, whether he would want to speak to Ste again and catch up you were putting out feelers; trying to gage what he felt for the young man.
Brendan was emphatic,
'No I wouldn't.'
You know he was being truthful but not because there is any love lost. It is because a) he feels he has missed the boat after seeing Stephen with another man and b) maybe he does not now know what he could say after all these years.
Maybe Brendan and Ste not seeing each other ever again is a good thing for all involved, you rationalise. What good could come of it? It could potentially devastate the three men involved.
And a small part of you sees a selfish advantage, too. Ste wouldn't mess with what you and Bren have. Your friendship.
Yeah. It is definitely better for them to stay apart.
"Nikki! Nikki!" Declan comes into the office excitedly and closes the door behind him, beaming at you like the cat that got the cream.
"What's up?" You say on guard. "Please tell me there is no drama about tonight."
You brace yourself for his news.
"No drama." He plonks himself into the seat opposite you. "At least regarding the ball."
"Okay." You say cautiously as you take in the twinkle in his eye. You hate when he gets that glint. It spells mischief.
"Remember our chat a couple of days ago?" He grins broadly.
"Which one?"
"The one about dad and Ste."
Your heart sinks. "The one where I told you that people change and move on."
He grins at you sheepishly. "Yeah, about that..."
"Where I told you to leave things well alone."
"You said that?" He cocks his head to one side and scratches his chin as if trying to recall. "Oh yeah..."
"What have you done?"
"Nothing..." He stares at you wide-eyed, "...much."
He slumps in his chair and folds his arms together. "Freddie remembered the name of the hotel where Ste and his bloke are staying, right. So I called it yesterday and got put through to his room. I couldn't believe it when he picked up. It was great to speak to him. I think he was surprised but happy to hear from me. So then I told him that I heard he was in town and had bumped into dad and you and what a coincidence that was, blah, blah, blah."
He starts laughing. "He asked if you were dad's girlfriend. Can you believe that? As if!"
You feel a squeeze of upset in your chest that Dec should find that so funny.
"I told him that that would be weird since everyone knows that dad is into dudes, you know. Ste was surprised at that. That it was kind of common knowledge. Anyway, I told him that dad wasn't with anyone. Like, hint, hint!"
He winks at you. You feel your mouth dry.
"I thought Ste would bait but instead he changed the subject. He asked me how I had been and stuff but he didn't say much about himself except that he is a chef now and he owns his own bistro in Chester. His kids are well etc. But he didn't mention his bloke which is weird, right. I mean, I told him about Aoife. He remembers her, can you imagine? So I'm thinking that slip of the tongue that Freddie told me about was a fatal blow, as in his boyfriend hasn't been able to forgive him about it. Anyway, I thought up a plan there and then. I told him that since he was in town it would great to meet up with Paraic and me since we haven't seen him in ages. I told him that we could do something low key like hang out at home for supper."
His leans forward. "He asked if I lived with dad. I said no. Not a lie. And that seemed to reassure him so he said yes. Then I called dad and asked him if he fancied having supper with me and Paddy. He said yes. Fast forward to me picking Ste up from his hotel yesterday evening then Paddy from swimming practice before heading to dad's place."
"You lied to them." You say.
"Not exactly. I omitted some points that they may have considered relevant. They were so angry with me, Niks!" He smiles. "But it was worth it. I got them into one room!"
He looks pleased with himself.
"Ste and I made lasagne. Then we watched a DVD. It was like the good old days. Dad seemed, like, relaxed for the first time in ages."
You can't speak. You feel devastated for some reason.
Ste and Brendan.
Reunited.
"I thought you'd think it was awesome." Deccy says reading your expression. "Paddy and I left Ste at dad's apartment at about ten-thirty so that we could get an early night at my place but I think they reconnected, if you know what I mean!"
He raises and lowers his eyebrows suggestively.
"How do you know?" You whisper.
"I don't. But you should have seen them, Nikki. The eyes."
You look at all his youthful enthusiasm and feel despondent.
"What about Martin?" You whisper.
"Who?" Deccy says then, "Oh yeah. Him. I don't want to seem harsh but if all it takes is Ste seeing dad for him to forget about his boyfriend then that's not exactly a rock solid relationship, is it?"
"You can't judge someone else's relationship, Declan."
"Why are you taking his side?" He asks clearly disappointed at your lack of support.
You shake your head in denial. "I'm not! But you don't know the half of it, young man. Martin seems like a nice guy. And your dad ..." You stop yourself from saying what Bren told you not to. "... He has had his moment with Ste. And it ended, six years ago. If something was meant to happen between them it would have happened by now. Have you thought of that? Stephen has moved on ... with Martin."
He waves a dismissive hand. "I am sure that Martin will get over it eventually. He'll find the right guy one day. Someone who actually loves him. And anyway he is probably over it already if his boyfriend is screaming out other people's names in the bedroom. I mean-"
You slam your hands on the desk, shocking him. "You little unthinking cocky teenager!" You shout in upset.
"Nikki!" Declan looks at you in surprise.
"You don't get it, do you? Martin loves Ste with all his heart and invests in their relationship one hundred percent. It is not easy to walk away from that! You stay by the person you love because you can't imagine life without them. They mean everything to you. They make you turn a blind eye to logic that tells you that maybe this is not perfect."
You feel really upset and you realise quickly that it is because you are talking about yourself.
These are emotions that you have been repressing for some time now. You have made your relationship with Bren a surrogate for a real meaningful fulfilling intimate relationship with another man. He has filled a void that should have been taken up by someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.
The way you love Brendan.
"You ignore the fact that you deserve better, Dec. That you are good enough to have someone love you back!"
You feel tears on your face and rub them as you glare at Brendan's son.
He looks like he has been caught up in an unexpected storm. At first he looks confused then quietly and tentatively, realisation dawns on him.
He asks, "Are we talking about Martin... or you, Nikki?"
You look at him; this cocky but sweet boy that is a younger version of a man you care for with all your heart.
"This has nothing to do with me." You lie. "They are getting married, okay. Ste and Martin. They are engaged and you are fucking with their lives, Deccy. Now do you get it?"
A part of you knows that you are revealing this for selfish reasons. Declan stares at you in disbelief. The guilt that washes over him is palpable.
"Shit." He whispers.
"Yeah."
XOXO
You call Brendan.
His phone rings until it goes to answer phone.
'This is Brendan Brady. Leave a message. I might get back to you.'
You smirk at his typically cocky tone.
"Hey, daddy bear. Just seeing how you are doing? Declan told me that you had supper together with a surprise guest last night. Call me. I want a blow by blow account of what happened. I'll be at VIBE all day. Ciao!"
You put the phone down and stare at it for a while. You can't help but wonder what Brendan is up to now. If Declan is right and Ste stayed over at Brendan's place then there is every chance that they are still together.
You should let go. What can you do about it? Even if things don't work out with Ste it isn't as if Brendan will suddenly change his sexual orientation and declare his undying love to you.
Funny how as long as he had a string of meaningless flings things were fine but now that someone potentially meaningful is on the horizon, it feels like your world is crumbling. You sniff some developing tears away.
You have to work. You only have short hours to go before the ball. You pick up the list of invitees for tonight's soiree. Your intent is to check that all the names are correct as per the list given to you by the event organisers and then print a few of copies off to distribute to the bouncers at the door.
You scroll down the list quickly until you get to the middle section,
Landon, Dennis. Plus one Landon, Michelle
Lau, Patricia. Plus one- Lau, Thomas
Martinez, Antonio. No extras
McCallister, Martin. Plus one- Stephen Hay
Nelson, Benjamin. Plus one- Nelson, Katherine
Martin McCallister. Stephen Hay. Your eyes practically pop out of your skull. This feels like more than a twist of fate. In fact, all the events that have occurred over the last four days feel like they couldn't have happened were only chance at play.
This feels like destiny unfulfilled; constant series of events designed to intertwine Brendan's and Ste's paths somehow whether directly or indirectly here in Dublin. Secondo. The Foggy Dew. THE ELECTRIC and tonight VIBE.
You have one question in mind and it feels like your relationship with Brendan hinges on it.
With everything that has happened, will Ste come to VIBE with Martin as his plus one tonight?