Flower Born of Flame
Chapter 2
A flutter.
That was the only word that could be used to describe it.
At long last, when the pounding in her head finally settled into a dull ache, and when her pulse stopped racing so loudly that she could hear it, that's when she felt it. It was a distinct feeling, one she was all too familiar with. Despite its origins in her abdomen, this time it wasn't a feeling of pain or agony. Too hard to be the beating of butterfly wings, but too soft to be painful. As she let out surprisingly lighthearted sigh, this time she couldn't help but smile – even if was just the slight curling of her lip.
Leave it to the one person behind Katniss's wanting to rest to make it nearly impossible for her to relax.
Slowly, her hand trailed up from resting beside her until it found its way to her stomach, only several inches beneath her breastbone, to the source of the disturbance. She pressed her fingers to the area softly, an almost impossible attempt at communication.
For the first time since her episodes of screams began, she open her mouth for a completely different reason. "Shhh … " she soothed, although she knew her voice was cracked. The strain to her voice box made it ache to use. Katniss knew saying something was next to useless, but she had to try. "You'll be out soon. Just hold on a little longer."
But the fluttering did not stop for this. In fact, once Katniss's voice filled the silent void only made it the feeling more intense. Restraining herself from making a face, she opened her eyes as she lifted her head ever so slightly. Of course trying to give her opponent a look was impossible; they couldn't even make eye contact. That didn't mean she couldn't try.
Katniss knew what she needed to do to make it stop. Knew, but didn't want to do it. But her tiredness was so relentless that she also knew she'd never get relax in this state. And rest was critical for her at that moment.
As annoying and aggravating as the situation was, she knew she couldn't say no to her own baby.
Resting her head back, Katniss's hand moved so that her palm laid gently over the area where her child was kicking. It was the closest way of touching at that point. Taking a deep breath, Katniss mustered up energy as she cleared her throat. And once she knew her voice was almost normal again, she began to sing.
She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard the melody. It was a soft and slow tune, a lullaby, something that had been sung to every baby in the Seam. It had been so long since she'd last heard it, she was shocked that she knew it word for word. All Katniss did know was that with each new word that escaped her lips, the fluttering in her belly slowly began to stop.
It still kicked because it wanted her to sing louder, for longer. But Katniss restrained herself from going over a certain pitch, knowing how much it echoed inside the cave around her. It was for this very reason that Katniss muffled her own agonized screams with the blanket. If it was only all of Panem watching, then she would have screamed as loud as she pleased.
The sound of an expectant mother in labor might have pulled on the heartstrings of Capitol citizens, however small they were. And if she didn't succeed in making them pity her, maybe she would have been lucky enough to entertain the sadists watching. Either way, she would never pass up another opportunity for a sponsor.
But all of Panem weren't the only ones watching. That was the problem.
Weren't the only ones listening. Loud screams would give away her location alone, echo them and they'd grow louder. And anything outside the cave could hear her. There were a number of things just waiting to find such a defenseless creature. Hungry animals, mutts…
And of course her fellow tributes.
However few of them were left, Katniss knew there was at least one of them that wouldn't hesitate to kill her even if she was in labor. She wasn't about to give up her hiding spot. It was her only line of defense at that moment. Her bow was right next to her, arrow already out of the sheath, and next to that a knife that even at that moment she had firmly in her freed hand. But she knew that wouldn't be enough.
Katniss let out a breath of relief as the final words of the lullaby escaped her mouth. There was no more movement underneath her palm. She may not have been able to sleep, but that didn't mean she would deprive her child of the same pleasure. The baby hadn't even been born yet, and already it was being subjected to the worst life that Katniss could have ever imagined for it. The life inside of her only existed because of other forces at work.
But that didn't prevent her child from coming, and Katniss knew that it would be soon.
She'd been lying there for a very long time, clutching the blanket in pain every time a wave of pain rippled through her once again. She really wasn't sure how much time had passed. Hours, days maybe? All she did know was that she'd endured more than her far share of labor pains.
Katniss also knew that the baby would be there soon. At first the pain came almost about every hour or so, but soon the times between these 'episodes' was drawing shorter and shorter. And that was the clearest sign of the infant's soon arrival. Years of being by her own mother's side, however briefly, while babies were delivered told her that much about the situation.
As an ache returned to her spine, she moved her weight ever so slightly until she was on her side again. Katniss rested her head on her upper arm, sprawling it out above her head. Meanwhile, she placed the other on the ground, palm facing down, careful to steady herself. Positioned like this gave her a little relief from the aching.
She wasn't being very active, and she knew that her spectators were itching in their seats while watching her. Between her contractions was the perfect time for Capitol citizens to talk amongst themselves though, comment on her performance.
Maybe they were placing bets too, since there were so many things to take bets about.
How much longer would it be before the birth?
Would either of them survive?
What was the baby's gender going to be? Katniss had to admit that even she didn't know the answer to that little question.
She had never wanted children. Katniss had admitted this several times, to herself and others. She didn't want them for this exact reason; she didn't want to subject them to the games. She didn't want a child to be a pawn for others' entertainment. But that was exactly what happened anyway.
Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that of all the children born into Panam, her own would be only one ever born inside the arena. This child never even had a choice about it; it hadn't even been born yet. It had no free will of its own and yet it was already exposed to almost all the terrors the world had to offer.
No child, not even her own, deserved punishment just for existing.
Because of this child, Katniss was one step closer to danger. Its presence in her life caused countless troubles and problems, all of which were ways that others could harm her. Her tormentors probably couldn't wait to torture her this way.
But Katniss couldn't bring herself to hate her baby. She couldn't hate this small, innocent little life that had grown inside of her for so long. This life had formed within her. It was a part of her, and also a part of the one she loved very dearly. It was a life that had been created because of that shared love.
Yes, that love with a special someone.
The thought made Katniss's attention draw forward, her eyes steadying on the hand that lay in front of her, her left hand to be precise. She let it relax ever so slightly, letting the fingers curl into a slackened state. She couldn't help it as her eyes started to trail towards the light strip of skin at the very base of her ring finger. The lack of jewelry helped her to remember something else, something that might keep the Capitol busy for a while as well.
The other tributes.
They were out there. She had no clue as to where, but she knew they were. She'd yet to hear a single cannon fire, let alone enough to leave her completely alone. Plus, even those at the Capitol wouldn't leave her like this with a baby on the way. Then again, maybe they would.
Her thoughts still didn't count out the lack of cannon fire. That fact alone told her that the person with her missing piece of jewelry was also out there. That person had it because Katniss had given it to him before they entered the arena. He wore it on a chain around his neck, along with the slightly larger companion to the matching pair, because that was the one he owned.
She knew his finger had the same lightened skin around his own finger as well.
And he was probably looking for her at that very moment too. No, he was most definitely looking for her. There wasn't any way he could rest unless he knew they were safe. They, meaning Katniss and their unborn child.
Katniss felt a tear well up in her eyes. She wanted to curse the hormones in her body causing her to feel all these different and riveting emotions. They made her normal stoic mask just melt away whenever she began to think certain things. But she didn't curse herself, because at that point Katniss couldn't punish herself anymore.
Shouldn't she want her baby's father to be with her when she was in such a defenseless state?
Was it wrong to want him to be safe?
Couldn't she feel guilty knowing he was probably fighting tooth and nail to find her?
The feelings were just welling up inside of her, and they were too much for her to contain. But instead of trying to hold the tears back, Katniss decided to embrace embraced them. After all, she couldn't just pass up making such an emotional scene for the cameras. The better the show, the safer she was. The safer her baby was.
She kept her face straight as she felt the small bit of liquid trail down her face sideways onto the blanket. Although she'd never been a good liar, at that point in time she didn't need exaggerate for the cameras at all. The emotion and toll in her voice was genuine. She could almost see Haymitch now, cheering her on for playing her part so well. But she wasn't pretending.
With parted lips, she mustered up the strength to mutter one simple choked out name, "Peeta."
Where was her boy with the bread?
Where was her husband, the father of her child?
She knew the answer to these questions, but thinking about them was too painful. He was outside the cave, in dense maze of trees that made up the jungle of an arena for their Hunger Games that year. He was out there probably fighting off some beast, or making his way out of some trap. Katniss knew all these things because the only reason they were apart was because it was more thrilling.
What could be more entertaining than watching the star-crossed lovers of district twelve separated, kept apart by numerous obstacles while Katniss suffered alone through the labor of their first child in the middle of the arena for all the world to see? This was a first, something new and exciting. The Capitol citizens got to watch as a young couple clung onto their own lives, all while trying to bring a new life into the world. It was too good of an opportunity to let things pan out by chance. What would be the delight in that?
Nothing was, that was the problem.
Nothing was more entertaining to watch than the turbulent lives of the tributes from district twelve. It had been that way since their very first instant as tributes, the very day they were chosen to take that train to the Capitol. That way the day all this began.
Yes, that very dreadful day only a little over a year ago.
That was the beginning of everything.
(A/N: Just to give everyone a little forewarning, from this point on, the story is going to rewind a little ways. I'm going to have it go back to the day when Katniss got on the train to go to the Capitol. And the story will play out chronologically until we get back to the scene from chapters 1 & 2. I like to think of it as this is what's going through Katniss's mind as she's waiting there in the cave. Thanks again for reading and the support. I hope to hear from many of you.)