Present Day (Day 4)...
You are getting that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you used to get as a child when you had done something wrong and you knew that you were about to get your comeuppance. What you did just a few minutes ago is unforgiveable. It doesn't matter that it was not done maliciously or deliberately. You did it when Cheryl came round to the club, with her youngest son in tow, looking for Brendan...
xo
"He is at THE ELECTRIC today." You told her.
She was on edge. "Really, It's just that I haven't seen him in a while. Then Declan called me this morning and told me he'd had dinner with Ste last night. You know Ste, right? Deccy said you met him a few days ago."
You nodded.
"So you'll also know it's complicated, Nikki." Cheryl said. "Brendan and him."
"I kind of guessed. You have never talked about him to me before. No one has."
"For Brendan's sake. I didn't want to make it harder than it already was. He would never admit it but I reckon he has found it tough moving on." She said.
"All I know is snippets of what happened between them. Little things that I have picked up over the years and what Declan told me a couple of days ago. I know that they had a stormy relationship at least at first. I know that Declan likes him. I know that he was violently kidnapped. I know that Brendan never explained why he and Ste broke up at least not to his sons straight after."
Chez got visibly upset as you spoke. "Do you remember that bowling night after you got back from Hollyoaks, must be three years ago now? When Brendan got angry? It was because you went to see Ste, wasn't it? I didn't realise it then. I wondered why he was so worked up."
She nodded. "I was fine with him getting angry. But I couldn't have handled him getting upset if he found out that Ste didn't want to know. That he was with someone. It would have killed Brendan."
You were curious. You wondered whether Bren's ex had been with Martin then. "What did his boyfriend look like?"
She looked at you oddly. "Don't know. A bit like an Aussie surfer. Blond. Tall. Chiselled... Scottish."
"His name is Martin." You say. "They are engaged now."
Cheryl's face dropped. "Engaged? Are you kidding me?"
"But I don't think Ste has completely moved on."
"Are you talking about the whole, 'I love you, Brendan' incident?" She said.
You nod. Declan told her? That kid had no boundaries, telling his aunt about the sexcapades of his father's ex.
"And I think Bren still thinks of Ste." You confessed.
"What makes you say that?"
"I found a well thumbed picture of Ste in his wallet."
The line seemed to go dead then Cheryl voiced what a she thought was a brilliant idea; to push Ste and Brendan together to "Talk things through and make their peace" because "Life is too short and you should never go to your grave with regret."
Had she not realised that her nephew had already tried and failed?
That is when you broke down into tears because any references to life, death, sickness, health or the uncertain future messed with your emotions. She looked at you in shock wondering what had gotten into you. That was when you blurted out the truth.
"He is really sick, Chez. I'm so sorry but your brother has cancer."
It was out before you had a chance to think. It was bad enough that you told Cheryl against Brandan's wishes. Unfortunately, at that moment Declan wandered into the office.
His face was stunned, devastated. He looked incredulously at you and his aunt. Without a word, he turned on his heal and ran out of the club despite your calls for him to come back.
Cheryl went after him.
xo
That all happened at lunchtime.
You call Brendan soon after to pre-empt what is to come; his justified fury. He doesn't answer so you leave a message asking him call you back as soon as possible. Your attention is torn between Brady drama and preparations for the night VIBE is hosting later.
By two-thirty pm, Chez calls you. She assures you that Deccy is okay but not fit to continue his shift at the club. You figured you weren't going to see him for the rest of the day. He needed some time to take in the news he has just received.
Your heart sinks when she also tells you that she has been to see her brother at THE ELECTRIC.
"What did he say?" You ask anxiously.
"He is a little pissed off, I can't lie, but he'll get over it, Niks." She replies.
"Where is he now?"
"THE ELECTRIC as far as I know. Why?"
"He didn't answer my call."
The line goes silent for a few moments then she says. "Actually there is a chance he'll come over to VIBE later."
"Why?"
"Oh, you know..."
You do know and you don't like it. "Please tell me you didn't encourage him to come to talk to Ste."
"I may have done."
"Chez, that's not a smart move. Ste's fiancé is going to be there. It could turn ugly. We shouldn't be meddling."
"Ste's is leaving tomorrow and you know Bren would never go for the grand romantic gesture and chase him over the Irish sea. It is not his style. So this is his only chance."
"It'll be handbags at dawn." You warn her, partly concerned about your friend and partly worried about how it might ruin a night that you have worked really hard towards.
"Sometimes blood has to be spilt in the name of love."
You shudder at the tone of her voice. Cheryl is ruthless when it comes to caring for her loved ones.
Must be a Brady trait.
XOXO
Three years ago...
It has been raining non-stop for five days in Dublin so Saturday afternoon is spent in a warm indoor local bowling alley. Not exactly your idea of a well spent weekend but Declan and Paraic are staying with Bren as they do every weekend so the activity is kid friendly. Cheryl and Paddy complete the group of six. You haven't seen Paddy for a while and Cheryl has just got back from a trip out of town so this has doubled as an opportunity to catch up.
You stand in two groups of three staring menacingly at each other in front of a bowling lane. Chez, Paddy and Declan are on one team. Brendan, Paraic and you are on the other. It's a good job Paddy's girlfriend couldn't make it. She would have made the numbers uneven.
"Who decided that bowling was a good idea?" You ask as you look down at the unflattering footwear covering your feet.
"Just because you can't aim for shit doesn't mean you should hate on the game, Niks!" Adult Paddy looks at you with a cheeky grin.
"Hey! None of that language in front of the boys." Brendan says.
"Sorry, mate." Paddy grins at him. "But we all know Nikki is a liability with a bowling ball in her hand. Remember the time she tossed it and it went backwards and nearly hit that kid!"
Everyone laughs at you except Cheryl.
"Ey, look you. The kid wasn't hurt and she has gotten better since then." She says.
"Yeah." You say.
"But thank goodness you aren't on my team, love. I want to win!" She adds.
And they all peel with laughter again. Why does this feel like have-a-go-at-Nikki day suddenly?
"Thanks for your support, guys." You mumble while Brendan pulls you into a one armed hug and gives you a squeeze.
"Don't worry, Niks. You've got us on your team and we are going to crush them." He says with a small lopsided smile. "Ain't we, little man?" He nudges his eight year old son.
"Yeah!" Paraic squeals gleefully. "Be prepared to be annihilated!"
"Do you even know what annihilate means?" His sixteen year old brother says patronisingly.
"Yeah. To completely destroy. To reduce to nonexistence." Paraic looks smug as he pretends to pulverise something in his fist and sprinkle its remnants on the floor.
"Boys." Their father says, grinning at the banter. "Let's settle this with a game, yeah?"
"I'll go first." Paraic says confidently and steps up to the end of your lane. He confidently hits seven out of ten pins and celebrates like a footballer scoring a hat trick by running around giving strangers high-fives.
Declan is up next and hits a strike. There are cheers all round.
The boys huddle around their father who imparts his knowledge on how to swing a ball before his turn so you take the opportunity to catch up with Paddy and Cheryl.
"So how was your trip, Chez?"
She looks at you briefly then at Brendan before whispering. "Yeah good."
"Must have been nice to catch up with old friends." Paddy, your friend, says.
"Um hum." She nods. She looks at her brother again. He is lined up and preparing for his throw. "Look can we talk about it later?" She asks quietly.
"Yeah sure. Did you have a bust up with someone when you were out there or something?" You ask, sensing her upset.
Her grin looks forced and plastered on. "No. Nothing like that."
"So who did you catch up with?" Paddy asks. "Mitzeee, Pete?"
Cheryl hushes you then sinks her head into her hands as Brendan struts up to the three of you.
"You were in Hollyoaks?" He asks Chez. "Thought you said it was Belfast to see Lynsey."
"Yeah well. No it was Hollyoaks and Chester." She goes red. "Just for three days." She keeps her eyes down. "I didn't think you'd be interested."
He cocks his head to one side. Anger. That is what it is. But it is repressed. All under the surface. Tension builds up out of nowhere between brother and sister. For some reason Brendan isn't happy about his sister's holiday destination. You see a tick set off in his cheek.
Hollyoaks is where both of them lived for a period of time. Not that you know much more than that since they both avoid talking about it.
"Have you been back since you left, Bren?" You ask. "There must be some friends you left behind."
"No I haven't." He says. The words are heavily weighted as he fixes his sister with an unwavering gaze.
Paddy has gone uncharacteristically quiet.
"So was there a special reason for going to Hollyoaks, Chez?" You probed, picking up on the general unease.
"Hollyoaks?" Declan interjects excitedly as he butts into 'adult' conversation with his little brother by his side. "You went back, Auntie? Did you see Ste?"
His father becomes red with anger; that vein in his forehead, that acts as a warning for an explosive reaction, is standing out prominently. Shit. Brendan is one angry man right now.
"Yeah." Cheryl mumbles. "Yeah. I did."
"Is he okay now?" Declan seems concerned. Who is this Ste guy? You have never heard his name mentioned before and yet the mere mention of his name creates a ripple of emotion among your five bowling companions including little Paraic.
Brendan has the most feral reaction, though. His cheek is ticking like there is no tomorrow.
"He's fine, love." Chez says quietly to her nephew.
"Good." Declan grins.
"It would be great to see him again. Wouldn't it?" Paraic says. "He was a laugh."
Brendan suddenly stands up and grips his sister's arm brusquely. "Chez, give me hand getting some drinks for everyone, will ye?"
"Um. Uh. Yeah." She mutters nervously.
He drags her to the refreshment stand and you, Declan and Paddy witness a heated exchange of words between the siblings although you cannot make out the content.
Declan looks disturbed. "He never fucking allows us to talk about it. It is so frustrating."
"Declan swore." Paraic says disapprovingly.
"You know what your dad thinks about you swearing." You say to Deccy in a firm tone.
"Sorry, but it's not fair!" Dec says, all teenage tantrum. "He always gets it his way!"
"What happened? Why is he so angry?" You dare to ask.
Paraic shrugs. "Dunno. He doesn't speak to Ste anymore, though. That sucks."
When you try to ask Brendan upon his return from the refreshment stand, he expertly steers the topic of conversation away from the subject of interest. It has the effect on making everyone else feel gagged. Even you sense that it is not wise to push for more information in the name of curiosity.
Paddy whispers to you later in the game. "I don't know the all details myself, Nikki. I don't know if anyone does except Bren. And maybe that is the way it should be. We all have secrets."
xo
After the weekend, you catch up with Brendan at a building that is the location for your next joint venture, a club that you plan to call THE ELECTRIC.
Your father found the place and bought it for you. Some people get vouchers for their birthday, you get prime real estate. Of course you were eternally grateful and decided to use it to expand on the success you and Brendan had shared with VIBE.
This former brewery has plenty of natural character and quirks that are sure to become a talking point amongst clubbers but there is a lot of work to be done. Most of the ground work has been done. Insulation. Plumbing. Electrics. Water proofing. Most of the remaining work is cosmetic now and you and Bren have a very unique look in mind.
You project to have the venue up and running within two months.
You have breakfast in hand; croissants and coffee.
"Morning, daddy bear." You say as you walk into the makeshift office.
"Hi." He says without looking up from his paperwork. "Why are we doing this again, Niks? Why?"
"Because we love the challenge." You take a seat. "I have breakfast."
"Nicola Manzoni, saving lives every day." He says accepting a mug of steaming coffee. He doesn't stop scribbling furiously with his left hand, though. "I think we will be slightly over budget but it'll be worth it for the finish."
"What? No small talk?" You ask. "Straight to business?"
You want to explore Bowling-gate. You wrack your brain for the name of the guy who got Brendan so worked up but it escapes you. Damn.
He leans back and sticks his pen into his mouth and sucks on it. He is very orally fixated is Bren. Always with something in his mouth; food, pens, lolly pops, gum...etc.
"Go on then." He says. "Hit me."
"What?"
"You are about to bore me to tears with the date you had last night Am I wrong?"
It's funny, your date nearly slipped your mind. Nearly. So is he that keen to avoid the subject of the mysterious man from his past that he is willing to listen to your single and dating story update.
"No you aren't. It was great, Bren." You gush. "This was date number three with Tim!"
"Well hello, missy!" He pretends to be excited.
"We had a nice dinner then we went to a comedy club and the night ended at mine."
Brendan grin becomes even broader. "And where did the Timothy touch you, Nicola? Point on the doll."
"He didn't get inappropriate if that's what you are getting at." You say with a grin. "Just a little kiss and a cuddle."
"Where's the fun in that?"
You shrug. "We had plenty of fun but I like to know that I have a connection with someone before I show him my pale bits."
Quickies and one night stands are not your thing. Brendan on the other hand thinks little of picking someone up for a purely physical roll in the hay. He doesn't bed hop like some male slag. It is more like an indulgence that he affords himself once in a while, like going to a posh restaurant on pay day.
He takes a sip of his coffee. "You don't need an emotional connection to enjoy sex with someone, Nicola. All one needs is a warm, compliant body, protection, stamina and no inhibitions. With that recipe the pleasure takes care of itself. Pure, simple and satisfying. Then it's thank you, get dressed and fuck off."
"How romantic."
"Just telling it like it is. Right now Timothy is probably thinking 'when am I going to get my leg over?'. Men are animals, Nikki. We think with our dicks. The poor man is doing all this dating like a mug just so he can get into your pants. The difference between you and thousands of other girls is that you have standards. You don't spread your legs for dinner at Pizza Express, a bottle of cheap Lambrini or a cheesy chat up line. You are a challenge to him but believe me, once he has cracked you he will treat you like every other insecure girl that he could have bedded by simply giving them a little attention and a smile."
You can't believe how insensitive he is being. Is that what he really thinks about sex, love and romance?
"You don't honestly believe that, do you? Don't you think people out there want to find a deeper connection with someone else and that maybe sex can be used as part of an expression of love? Because I do."
He rolls his eyes at your sentimentality then picks up a croissant. He takes a big bite out of it.
"Nope." He says through a full mouth.
"Then you'll never experience true love, Brendan. You have completely closed yourself off to that possibility."
He swallows and narrows his eyes at you.
"True love." He says the words slowly.
"Yeah."
He puts his pastry down, stands up and walks round to you. It's always a little scary when he does that. He approaches as he has no intention to stop, with dark intent radiating through his eyes.
"You think I don't know what love means?"
"No." You stand up defiantly opposite him.
He stares you down.
"People talk about love like they know what they are talking about but they don't know what it really means. They talk about it like it is an item in a clearance sale. Mass produced, cheap, clichéd tat that can be binned if it doesn't fit. In one minute, out the next. That 'love' has everything to do with ego and wanting what you think everyone else has. It is selfish. All me, me, me. What can I get out of this love? Kids, money, attention, status and social standing, a cure for loneliness, a trophy wife, a knight in shining armour, sex on tap, a fucking sunset ending? People don't understand true love, Nicola, because it is the opposite of romantic. It is not glamorous. It is an instinct. It is selfless and all consuming. It exists even when it is not reciprocated. It is not just there when things are hunky dory. It is there when times get tough. It is there every fucking second of every day. In exercising patience. In remembering the detail. Every last inch of skin. Every inflection of a dirty laugh. Every tick, quirk or mannerism. It is about you and him."
He touches your heart, grazing over your left breast, and you shudder lightly before he moves it to touch his own. His blue eyes bore into yours and you get sucked in. You are close. Toe to toe.
"The two of you. And it feels like possession but it isn't. You want to build a fortress around it because it feels fragile but it isn't. It trumps every other emotion. Because it is there even when the person you love isn't, Niks. And it leads you to do anything for him. Anything." He taps over his heart again. "For life."
Wow. You lean in towards Bren instinctively. Thank goodness he steps away and sits back in his seat before your stupid body makes you kiss him. You would have looked like a right mug. It's that magnetism of his.
Is Brendan referring to anyone in particular? His words sound so personal, as if woven from his own experience. His crystal blue eyes tell all. You are in no doubt that he has been in love before, his version of love; this 'all consuming love'. But there is a sadness there that makes you think it may have ended badly, afterall, whoever it is isn't in the picture anymore. Not unless Brendan has managed to keep him hidden from you.
Your brain makes a tenuous connection to the mystery man from Hollyoaks.
"Sounds like you know what you are talking about." You say feebly as you take your seat again.
He grunts. "This is my advice to you for what it's worth. If you like this Tim bloke, ask him out for a fourth date. Sleep with him. Don't sleep with him. Do what you think feels right."
"I will."
And somehow the subject of Hollyoaks and the mysterious man that may have stolen your friend's heart is never brought up. And with time it gets paler and paler a memory until it is lost to hazy insignificance.
XOXO
Present Day (Day 4)...
It is nearly seven thirty pm and virtually all the guests are here and seated, ready for their first course.
Aoife, Declan's girlfriend, is holding the guest list at the top of the stairs that open up to the dining area. She is standing in for her boyfriend.
She gives a couple of late arriving guests a courteous smile as they reach her, dressed in evening or cocktail dresses, dinner jackets or tuxedos.
"Good evening. Welcome to VIBE. May I take your names and I'll help show you to your table."
You frown. Martin and Ste haven't arrived yet. You have been looking out for them. And Brendan. You pace nervously. A part of you hopes none of them turn up.
You walk up to Aoife once she has attended to her guests.
"Hi." You say. "Have you spoken to Declan?"
"Yes." She says. "He is round at his aunt's. He is still trying to absorb the whole cancer thing, you know."
You nod. "Has he spoken to Brendan yet?"
"I don't think so. Cheryl suggested that maybe everyone needs to sleep on it. The whole family is getting together tomorrow to talk about it properly."
"That's a good idea. Tell him that I'm sorry, yeah."
"Yeah, sure." She refers to her clipboard. "By the way, four people still aren't here. Tobias Fredricks. Manpreet Khan. Martin McCallister plus one."
You nod. "That's not bad going. We have to start serving soon. They'll join in if they come."
Aoife emits a strangled excited squeal. Her eyes widen and she breaks into a huge grin. "Oh. My. God!" She mutters under her breath.
"What?" You turn to the stairs to see Martin walking up dressed up to the nines in a simple but very effective tuxedo with an equally handsome man in a suit by his side. He is shorter, maybe your height, 5'9", with dark Mediterranean looks. Damn. You swallow a glob of drool when you look back at Martin. You can see why Ste has been with the guy for as long as he has. There is nothing to say no to in that slab of man.
And you see why Aoife is acting like a groupie. She leans into you and whispers, "This is the craziest coincidence but the tall guy is someone Dec and I met at the Foggy Dew a few days ago. He is going out with a guy who used to go out with Mr. Brady!"
You haven't got any time to respond to her breathless excitement. Martin and his companion reach the top of the stairs. He smiles at you in recognition.
"Martin!" Aoife says animatedly. "Fancy seeing you here!"
Hair flick.
Batting eyelashes.
Red cheeks.
The girl is not too subtle. She may as well stick her breasts in his face, bless her, but then he is the kind of guy that makes fools of out of women without trying to.
He is trying to place her. "Hello." He says vaguely.
She says, "Remember. The Foggy Dew. My mate Freddie had a gig there." She giggles and you give her a stern look so she stops.
"Oh yes." He says looking suitably uncomfortable. "I was pretty wasted that night. Not my finest hour."
He turns to you and gives you an easy grin. "We must stop meeting like this."
You smile back. "I know."
"You know each other?" His companion and Aoife say simultaneously.
Martin nods. "Nicole..." He says without hesitation. He has a wry smile on his face, "... has been stalking me. This is our third random meeting and I suspect she is going to tell me this is the other club she owns other than THE ELECTRIC."
He keeps his smile fixed but you know he cannot be all too happy knowing that Brendan also co-owns it, something Paddy mentioned when you last saw him.
You nod and say. "Guilty."
"Toby is a friend and colleague of mine from Chester." He says introducing the man by his side. You look at the hand he is pointing with.
News flash. He isn't wearing his engagement ring he was so keen to point out to you at THE ELECTRIC.
"A pleasure." The man says extending his hand. You shake it. Firm grip. Posh voice. Easy on the eye. There is too much pretty for your eyes to cope with. Suddenly you reassess the relationship between these two men.
"Is Ste not coming?" You ask, trying to keep your tone light and inconsequential.
Toby speaks for Martin when the taller man fails to answer, frozen into silence. "I am sure he will. He is... running late."
"I see." But you don't. You sense major drama. "In which case you had better take you to your seats. Dinner is about to be served. Have a lovely evening."
Aoife leads the way.
You silently watch them as they go. Their manner. They are very familiar with each other, Martin and Toby. Interesting. You are not sure you'd be okay with your fiance replacing you with another man as your plus one. YOu wonder what this is all about and then you say a prayer like the good Catholic girl you were raised to be.
Please, God, please let this night be smooth sailing.
xo
You can't help looking over at Martin and Toby every so often. They engage in conversation with others at their table but you notice that every so often the Scotsman glances towards the staircase expectantly. He is hoping Ste will show up.
The poor man is waiting for the man he loves. His companion, Toby, may as well be chopped liver for all the attention he is getting. You sense his dejection and you realise that this may be a love square not triangle.
He is still absent when the guests are half way through their main course. You assume at the point that he isn't coming. Clearly, the Glaswegian thinks the same because he starts drinking. Heavily.
By the time the cutlery and crockery for the main meal are being cleared away it is halfway through the night. Dessert is about to be served but you have noticed the Martin has consummed so much alcohol that you are surprised he isn't in a pile on the floor. His genes and his size must be acting in his favour. But the signs of inebriation are there. He is being far more sociable and louder than he was at the beginning of the night. In fact, he is millimetre away from distracting and boisterous. And he is being a little too tactile with his friend. He is making some of their company, Toby included, uncomfortable.
Toby lays a calming hand on Martin when his laugh gets a little too loudly and says, "Keep your voice down, Marty."
Martin shakes him off,
"I thought we were all here to have fun after three days of stuffy lectures?"
The uneasiness of the guests spreads to adjacent tables.
"Maybe we should go get some air." Toby suggests gently.
Martin looks at him with glazed, heavy lidded eyes and whispers loudly, "Why Mr. Fredricks, are you trying to get me alone?"
Toby looks embarrassed and apologetically looks at the people at their table before saying, "I am not sure your Stephen would approve of that, do you?"
His laugh is nervous.
"What my fiancé, Stephen?" Martin says drunkenly as he stands up unsteadily. He points at the empty seat by his side. "I don't see him here, do you?"
He glances at the guests around the table. "Do you?"
They all agree politely that, indeed, there is no one in the seat next to him.
"And do you know why that is?" He asks them.
Shit.
Drama alert.
You approach the table quickly.
"Mate, let's go out. Seriously." Toby says firmly. "You are making a show of yourself."
Martin has enough insight not to argue. He apologises with the profuse sincerity that comes with excessive alcohol consumption and gets led out of the club by his friend.
You tell Toby to call you if he needs anything as he supports Martin while they make their way down the stairs. He nods in appreciation.
Your phone goes off at that moment. You hope it is Brendan so you can apologise to him but it is your father.
"Hey, dad."
"Hi, Nicoletta. I wanted to drop you a quick line to see how the night was going."
"Ask me in two hours." You say. "It looked like some drama was going to kick off but the crisis has been averted at least for now."
"Do you want me to get someone down there?" He says seriously. "Is someone causing trouble?"
Like a bullbog. Ready for action. Maybe a little too ready ut then you are daddy's little girl.
"No, scherzi?" Are you kidding? "E tutto 'sotto controllo, papa." It is all under control.
"If you say so." He says. "You know I am so proud of you."
"I know you are. Look I've got to go but I'll give you a call tomorrow, yeah? Un bacio." Kiss.
A few minutes later you walk back out of the club with a large glass of water to see how Martin is holding up. You suspect that he will need to go home to sleep off the alcohol but there is a remote chance he will have sobered up enough to see the evening through.
Curiously he and Toby aren't immediately outside the club and for a second you wonder whether they headed off. The fact that they left their coats in the club goes against that theory so you round the corner to a small alleyway that punters use for a smoke.
What you see shocks you into dropping the glass of water onto the ground so that it shatters into a million pieces.
Martin and Toby spring apart at the sound but they are too late. You have caught them in the act. Imprinted in your mind is the image of a passionate kiss with Toby trapped against the cool brick of the club's wall, his hands entangled in the taller man's hair and his buttocks cupped in Martin's grasp.
Martin looks at Toby in surprise as if he doesn't know how he got where he is. He wipes his mouth as he turns to you and then holds his forehead, trying to clear his foggy brain.
You stammer in astonishment.
"I-I-I think you should get to y-y-your hotel. You can wait for Ste there. I'll get you a taxi."
"Wait, Nicole!" He slurs. "No. That was..." He points at Toby vaguely. "Shit!" He shouts in frustration.
"Marty?"
The three of you hear the familiar voice round the corner.
"Ste?" Marty says as he stumbles out of the alleyway towards the front of the club, followed by you and Toby.
Ste is standing there dressed in a suit that shows him off to his best advantage. He looks coyly at Martin and holds a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.
Fucking hell. Why to go on the timing, Stephen.
"I know it is totally lame but I didn't know what else to get ya." He says wafting the flowers around.
"You came." Martin's voice breaks.
"Yeah." Ste looks at him. " 'Course I did. I had to, didn't I?"
"I thought..." Marty's shoulders slump. "I was sure you had chosen him."
Ste walks up to him and lays a hand on his chest. Toby physically bristles when he sees the contact and Martin's reaction to it.
"I'll see you inside." He says but he gets no reply from either man so he walks off quietly.
Another broken heart.
You should probably go too but you are welded to the spot and to be honest you aren't sure Ste and Martin would notice if an explosion took place right next to them.
You notice that Ste's eyes are blood shot, like he has been crying but he isn't crying now. Where has he been anyway? Why is he so late? And why is he so strangely unruffled, in an 'eye of the storm sort of way' in contrast to the emotional mess that Martin is.
If you knew about Ste's PTSD and his tendency to be the more emotionally volatile of the two you would have appreciated the irony in their present behaviour.
"Remember what I told you." Ste says calmly. "It is just you and me. Always. Where would I be without you, Marty? You are the one that saved me."
Marty crumbles into tears. "I'm sorry." He whispers and pulls Ste into a crushing embrace that almost completely engulfs the slighter man. You know that he is apologising for the kiss that Ste just missed. You notice how Ste allows himself to be hugged but makes no effort to return the embrace. His arms hang limply by him side and his fingers release the flowers he was holding so that they drop to the ground, forgotten.
"It's me who should say sorry. I was living in the past and I dragged you there with me. I should have known that what I needed was right here all along." When Martin releases him, the younger man reaches into his pocket and extracts a gold band. "So this time, I'll do the proposing. Martin McCallister. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?"
You turn your head away, partly because you feel like a traitor being witness to your best friend's ex-lover proposing to another man but mainly because this feels so wrong. You have never been a champion of Ste getting back with Brendan but there is something about his partnership with Martin that just isn't right. They have unresolved issues and as far as you know they haven't discussed them at all.
This is papering over cracks.
This is bullshit.
This not true love. Not the true love Brendan told you about.
This is love with an agenda. The kind of love that doesn't last because it comes with ifs, ands or buts.
You suddenly wish Brendan had taken his sister's advice and showed up. Maybe he would have broken up this farce. Where is he anyway? If he really loves this boy-man then why isn't he fighting for Stephen instead of giving Martin a win by default.
You want to intervene but these are the lives and decisions of strangers. You have no right.
Martin doesn't respond so Ste leans in and lightly rests his hands on Martin's hips. He pulls the taller man into a kiss. It is sweet. It is familiar. It is tender. And it is probably comfortable. But it lacks fire in your opinion.
You hear the Glaswegian whisper, "You know I love you." just before you make your way into the club and up its stairs. Back to your reality. Maybe, with time, the events of the last four days will melt away.
Aoife strolls up to you as you get back to the bustling dinner service. Funny how it is businedd as usual while big life changing actions are taking place just metres away.
"What happened?" She asks. "Martin looked pretty drunk... again."
Numbly you say, "He will not be coming back and neither is his plus one so you can tell the kitchen that there are two places at table eight that do not need dessert and coffee."
You look around for Toby. You can't see him anywhere. "Make that three."