DISCLAIMER: House belongs to Fox, not me.

AN. Hope you enjoy this, feel free to read and review, but praise and constructive criticism only please! House may be OOC, but the story needs it otherwise it's not any good.

Chapter 11: The song list

"What are you doing?"

House registered a voice breaking through his haze of thoughts, and glanced towards the door recognizing Hayley after a moment, pausing in his act of tossing his oversized tennis ball.

"How is she?"

"Alive." Hayley said angrily. "Of course, if you'd been in the waiting room like everyone else, you'd know this. So then, pray tell, is this a display of your feelings for my sister? That she's fighting for her life, and you're sitting in your office playing catch with a goddamn ball?"

House stiffened, his tension and anxiety over Cameron threatening to erupt into anger at Hayley. "You have no idea what I'm doing, or what my feelings towards your step-sister are."

He pointedly stressed the 'step' and Hayley's nostrils flared. "As far as both Jake and I are concerned, she's our sister- fully. In every way but DNA. And I know if it was you out there in Allie's place, she'd be camped out in that waiting room for any news and then she'd be glued to your side. I know because she did that for Alex, and she loves you just as much, if not more! So, I guess it's a question of how much you love her," she snapped.

Hayley's emotional, impulsive insinuation was the breaking point for House's raw emotion. "You think I don't love her enough?" he demanded, standing to face her. "Well, let me tell you that love isn't all Hollywood films and hallmark cards. Because, guess what? I love your sister. I love her, and I'm sorry if that means I can't sit in a waiting room with a crowd of emotional, pessimistic people who are all thinking the worst. I can think of plenty of worse outcomes to the woman I love being in a serious car crash just fine here alone!"

House angrily threw the ball he still held in his hand at the wall, and let out a sound that was almost a snarl before continuing, for the first time letting his emotions show since Wilson had told him the news.

"I do not want to have to live the rest of my life without her, knowing my last words to her were anything but 'I love you'. And if I'm out there, and I see her... that's all I can do. If I stay away, I can imagine that she's going to wake up any minute and we can go home for dinner. So, deal with this your way, and let me deal in mine. But don't you dare make the mistake again of doubting how much I love her!"

Hayley was stunned into silence, which was broken by the office door opening and Amanda entering.

"You here to accuse me of not loving your daughter enough to wait in the waiting room, too?" House asked her the second she met his gaze.

Amanda didn't even seem surprised, just subdued. "No, actually. I came to see how you were holding up. James said you and Allie were fighting... before."

House sighed and sat back down, closing his eyes. "I was such an ass. It was my fault."

Amanda smiled slightly. "I'm sure it wasn't all your fault. If Allison inherited anything from her father, it's his temper."

House snorted quietly, but shook his head. "This was my fault. I... I happened to see something on her computer last night, and I overreacted... she accused me of not trusting her, I said things... stupid things..."

"What did you see?" Amanda asked curiously.

House looked ashamed as he answered. "She got this... questionnaire from Jason. And one of the questions was... which song best defines your relationship. She answered, Right Kind of Wrong."

"Leann Rimes?" Hayley frowned.

"Yeah. I... I guess I got... offended. I thought it should have been something else."

"Like what?" Hayley asked.

House shrugged. "I don't know. Anything... a song with a better message than that... It made me feel like..."

"A second choice?" Hayley guessed as he searched for the words to explain.

House seemed surprised. "Yeah, I guess that was it. Like she picked me as an act of rebellion."

"So you wanted a song like, I will always love you or Have a little faith in me, something like that?"

House was silent. "I was hoping for something that sounds like something she would have written."

Amanda was smiling, to House's shock and confusion. "Greg, those questionnaires circulate at least half a dozen times a year. Especially in our family, we do them for fun. And every time, there is a question like that, and every one will have a different answer. And yeah, sometimes we pick songs that have different messages. I once described my relationship with Marcus with, George Michael's Faith. It doesn't mean anything."

She saw House's remorse and pain in his eyes deepen, and she said softly, "If you like, I could find a list of all the songs Allie has told me remind her of you from the day you met. Even before you were together."

Hayley too, now felt ashamed of her earlier outburst and tried to rectify herself. "Music is the soundtrack to our lives, Greg. But the songs don't last forever."

House rolled his eyes. "That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."

Hayley simply shrugged, and House hesitated. "I- I just can't see her. I can't face the possibility of losing her yet."

Amanda nodded. "I know. You need time. You also need to believe she can pull through."

"I know. But if I see her, I'll read her chart, and monitor her condition and read the machines... and I need to not be a doctor right now. That will only happen if I don't see her."

After a moment, the two women left and House was alone again. It was dusk when House finally left his office, and slowly headed towards the waiting room. It was far emptier than it had been earlier that day, with only Chase, Foreman, Wilson and Cuddy remaining.

"Where is everyone else?" House asked, startling the group.

"Hotels," Chase replied. "It's been a long day for everyone."

Cuddy turned to House, her tone gentle. "I transferred your patient to Diagnostics at Princeton General, so you don't have to worry about that."

House nodded and sat down next to Foreman, who was staring at the ground silently. "It should have been me," Foreman said suddenly, and the others all stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Cuddy asked him in confusion.

He looked up at House, who was surprised to see unshed tears in his eyes. "House, you asked me to go to the home. I offered to let... Allison... go instead. I'm sorry," he apologised sincerely and House didn't know what to say.

"She wouldn't have gone if we weren't fighting," he replied honestly. "You were being a good friend, giving her what she needed at the time. No apology needed for taking care of an upset friend."

He was aware how out of character this was for him, and he stood quickly. "You should all go home. Get some sleep."

"So should you," Cuddy replied gently.

House grimaced at the prospect of going back to their apartment, alone and shuddered. "No. I'm staying. Haven't slept in my office for awhile, I'm sure my chair's missed me."

They watched him walk away in the direction of his office in silence, before Wilson sighed. "Is everyone else staying?"

"Of course," Foreman and Chase replied immediately.

Cuddy shook her head. "There's no point. I need to distract myself, and it'll be easier at home than here. Goodnight, guys."

"Night, Cuddy" Wilson called after her softly.

He, Chase and Foreman sat in silence for a moment before rising as one and heading towards the vending machines.

Cameron's condition didn't change over the next few days, and family and friends were clinging to every hope they had. House still couldn't bring himself to actually visit Cameron, but he never left the hospital and spent most his time in the hall outside her room, trying to convince himself to enter. Chris and Kym had tried to convince their three children to return to Chicago so as to not miss too much school, but all three flatly refused although Erin would graduate in three months. Jason and Jasmin were staying with Jake and Dan; as was Hayley, although Tyson had returned to Connecticut for their kids.

As the days turned into weeks, everyone seemed to be giving up. Kym forced her children back to Chicago after a week and a half, Marcus and Jason and Jasmin returning with her. Amanda and Chris were staying in House and Cameron's empty apartment, Amanda in their spare room, Chris on the couch; and Hayley made weekend trips up from Connecticut. Cameron seemed to be hovering between life and death, and there were times everyone was sure death would win.

Four weeks after the accident, House was approaching the hallway where Cameron's room was, when he saw Cameron's doctor and the head of neurology, talking to Amanda and Chris. His stomach tightening, he hurried forward fearing the worst.

"What's happening?" he demanded.

Dr. Abbot, head of neurology turned to House sternly. "House, you know we can't discuss the patient with you."

House opened his mouth to protest, but Chris beat him to it. "Excuse me doctor Abbot, the patient is my daughter and this is her boyfriend. Amanda and I would like him included."

Dr. Abbot was clearly reluctant, so Dr. Evans took over, turning his attention to House. "House, we were just telling Amanda and Chris that Allison's latest tests show decreased brain activity."

House stilled, knowing where this was leading. "You're not thinking about-"

"Taking her off the life support, yes," Evans finished calmly.

House turned to Amanda and Chris half angrily, half stunned. "You can't!"

"Greg, it's been weeks and she hasn't improved," Chris said miserably, his throat constricted with tears.

"It's only been four weeks!" House argued. "She could still pull through!"

Abbot regarded him disbelievingly. "House, you know the chances after a month long coma..."

House grimaced. "So, you want to let her die?"

Amanda choked on a sob. "You think I want my baby girl, my only child to die? She's only thirty-one!"

She fought to gain control of herself as she continued. "For the last month of his life, Alex was just like Allie, living through machines. Allie told me, she would never want to live like that."

House was stopped from arguing with her as he realised a conversation he and Cameron had had once about this very subject, after a patient had come to the same decision. Cameron had been adamant that if there was no great chance for her survival, she would not want an 'mechanically extended lifespan'. As this realisation occurred to House, his heart sank and he knew he wouldn't be able to argue forever and the outcome would be the same.

"Greg?" Chris asked him as House stood motionlessly in the hall gazing at the wall separating him from his girlfriend.

"Ok," House said hoarsely, closing his eyes and hating himself even as he said it. "Ok."

Amanda's voice shook as she turned back to the doctors. "Can we wait awhile first? So... we can... say goodbye?"

The doctors assured them they could and excused themselves. "I'll start the calls," Chris swallowed hard and gripped Amanda's hand tightly before moving off.

House said nothing as Amanda hurried away, no longer able to hold back her tears.

AN. I already know the answer, but I enjoy making you all wonder if I'm going to kill Cameron off. You'll have to review if you want to know!