Disclaimer: I don't own any of these boys.
A/N: Now it gets a bit depressed.
Warnings: Cutting and self-harm.
Kendall's pov
"Where's Logan?" Kelly asked, worriedly. She kept looking to Gustavo's office and I did too. Any minute now he would be out and screaming for not having recorded yet.
"He's just a bit late." I answered.
"Where is he?" Kelly asked again.
"Made it!" Logan screamed and we all jumped. He coughed and sputtered that I ran over to him and tried to help him stand straighter, but he just pushed me away. "I'm fine." He said, and smiled at Kelly.
"You look beautiful." He said, and kissed her hand.
"I- Thank you, Logan. I'll call Gustavo."
It got weirder after that. He would sing and do good, but when we took breaks he would do summer saults to the point where he was out of breath. Everyonce in a while he would fall, and look like he was seriously hurt, but he'd only get up and start all over again.
"What is he doing?" growled Gustavo. "Why is he jumping around like a monkey?"
"He's having fun." Carlos screamed and went to join him.
"He's been acting like that the whole week." James said, watching them and he looked kind of worried.
"Why?" Kelly asked, probably thinking it was strange.
James shrugged.
"Talk to him, dog." Gustavo said, looking at me. Then he told James and me that today's recording was done, he would put the songs safely in the computer and to be back in two days, ready to sing more.
We all went home and I was so glad that I just dropped to the couch. Mom got her bag and sighed.
"I'm going to do some yoga. Are you sure you don't want to go, Katie?" Mom asked, Katie shook her head and went back to work on her homework. "I'll see you later then. Don't take her anywhere, Kendall. She's coming down with the flu and she needs her rest. I'll see you later, boys."
"Bye, Momma Knight!" They all called and she left.
"Can we watch Harry Potter?" Carlos asked, jumping up and down.
"I'm going down to the pool." Logan said, and walked to the door.
We all looked at him like he had growned three heads.
"Who are you and what have you done to our Logie?" James asked, an amused smile on his face.
"What?" Logan turned to us, confused.
"Logan, you'd never go to the pool voluntarily. Why now?" I asked.
Logan blushed, but smiled at us. "I just want to, okay? Later." He closed the door and we all looked at each other.
"Weird." Katie supplied.
"Very." James nodded.
"Harry Potter!" Carlos screamed and put on the movie. I watched Katie, and frowned every time she sneezed.
"Want to go to bed?" I asked her.
"No, not until I'm finished." She sneezed a couple more times, but in the end she did finish her work. "I'm going to bed." She sounded very sick and sneezed on her way to her room.
"Poor thing." James said, watching my sister go to her room.
"We'll let her sleep and tomorrow we'll pamper her." James nodded to my idea. With Katie in her room that let me have time to worry about Logan. What was wrong with him? He's been acting weird lately. Always running and wearing clothes he's not used to wearing, why?
"Relax." James whispered to me. "He's okay." James said, with a small smile on his face. I nodded even though I didn't believe him. I never would unless Logan was here next to me.
Logan's pov
Are you sure you want to do this? I asked myself that question all the time right before I pulled out the razor. I closed my eyes and looked up at the night sky. I had lied and went to a park away from the Palm Woods. It didn't let me feel so guilty for what I did- do.
Pulling the razor from my bag, I hide behind a tree and sigh. It's okay, my mind said to me. The beating of my heart rang in my ears.
I raised my shirt a little and cut a small piece of my arm. I did it up close to my shoulder, so if I had to take off my sweater It would be hidden.
They never noticed anyway.
I did it again, a bit higher and the blood gushed out fast and strong. I hissed at the pain and worried that I might have cut something important, but my inner doctor knew I hadn't.
It's the last time. I told myself. After wrapping my small cuts in a bandage, (or a few of them), I began to run like there was no tomorrow. It hurt, It always did, but I wanted it to hurt. The more it hurt the less I would have to cut my skin open.
When everything hurt more than I could imagine, I went home.
"You missed dinner." Momma Knight told me a frown on her face.
"I- um, sorry." I said, and felt the pain in my shoulder increase. There was a small trickle of something and I hissed. The sweat was entering my cuts.
"Are you okay?" she asked and tried to touch me.
I coughed wildly and like I had expected she pulled her hand away. "Just need to take a shower. I'm just so tired."
"Tired?" Kendall asked, walking from the kitchen.
"Yeah."
"Weren't you at the pool?" He asked.
"No, I-yes." I cleared my throat, trying to think of something. "I just wanted to run."
"Logan, aren't you excersising a little too much?" Momma Knight asked.
"No! I mean, no, no." I laughed. "I heard that running and keeping in shape helps with breathing and vocals."
They both looked at me worried. I hated that look. Without another word I left to the bathroom. I took off my sweater, and gasped when I saw the blood on my shirt. I had to get rid of it. If they found it...I didn't want to think about it.
I removed the bloodied bandages and wrapped them in toilet paper, and then dumped them in the trash. I made a bunch of paper balls and threw them on top of it, so they wouldn't see it if when they threw it out.
The water burned on my healing skin. It burned even more when I used the soap and the shampoo. It was such a relief to feel another shot of pain.
nerd, geek, loser.
My mind told me those things as I took my shower.
Then the problem happened.
I didn't have a clean shirt, and I couldn't hide my cuts. Kendall. If he saw me...He will kill me!
I opened the door and heard him and his mom talking in the living room. I made a run for it to the room and the first thing I did was put on a shirt, and them throw the bloody one. After making sure it was well hidden, I got dressed, then put on more bandages, and then, got some of my secret bandages. I always kept some, just in case of an emergency.
Kendall came to the room and I hid them under the covers.
"Why are you so jumpy?" Kendall asked.
"No reason." I shook my head.
"Logan why are you exercising so much?"
"I want to be in shape." I lied.
"Logan." He began, and my anger took over.
"Fine, I'll stop." I'll just cut myself instead. "Happy?"
"No, Logan, I didn't mean for you to-"
"Whatever, Kendall. Why do you always have to control everything I do?" I asked, angrily.
"Because you have a tendency to hurt yourself with overworking and now overexercising." Kendall said, almost shouting. Noticing that, he clenched his hands and gave me a dark look before leaving.
Guess, I'm an idiot that hurts the people around me, too. I thought sadly. My heart tightened in my chest and bitter tears began to brim in my eyes, but I shook it off. Anger blazed in my heart. Fine, I'll stop running, Kendall. Be happy that I'm stupid and that at least the world will be right when I cut again.
I closed my eyes, completely forgetting about putting on the bandages. I hid them again, and went to a restless, hurting sleep.
Logan's gone off the deep end. Poor sweetheart. :(