Disclaimer: I don't own any of these boys.

Kendall's pov

No matter how hard Logan tried, it didn't help. In the beginning he was perfect. We were getting along so well. He would stick around me and never leave my sight. That suited me just fine, but it all started to get weird after our first meet and greet.

I made sure that I kept a good eye on him, but as we entered the big room, it got some of my attention. It smelled so good and it made me feel dizzy. All of this was so exciting.

The faint scent of chocolate reached my nose, but it was Carlos who found the small treats.

Kelly allowed us to get a couple, but to watch our sugar intake.

That was fine with me.

Logan's pov

I promised Kendall everything, that I would stop, that I would be with him so he wouldn't worry, but I was starting to lose control.

I wanted to cut so badly. It itched at me every day that I was awake of asleep.

But it got worse when I got a surprise from one of the Mom's from the meet and greet.

I had spent about an hour and a half hugging, signing and taking pictures with the others for all the young girls. They were all in their teens and pre-teen years. I knew they liked us, but to have them infront of me, that was a completely different story.

One by one, all the others were pulled away from me to talk with some of the group of girls that came together.

I was glad that I had finally gotten a break that I went back to the table and was cleaning up my papers when someone tapped my on my shoulder. She was a young mom, with read hair and burning green eyes. I smiled at her, nervously.

"Hello, dear, what's your name?" She asked, a gentle smile on her face that changed her whole face.

I relaxed. "Logan."

"Oh." She handed me a little red book. "MY daughter loves all of you. I already got all of their signatures and you're the last one."

"What's her name?" I asked, ready to write my signature and a brief message.

"Jessica-Lee." The woman smiled at me.

I began to write my small hello when she chuckled. I handed it back to her a small smile on my face. Confused as to why she was even laughing.

"No offense, darling, but you don't seem to be part of that group." She gently smiled at me. And I looked into her eyes. They were a very light green and she was looking at me with this very polite smile on her face. But her eyes. They were so judging, I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't.

"I..." I couldn't say anything to that.

"You look so small and smart. So mature." She looked over at the others, who were laughing and smiling at the others. Carlos was playing, being the same kid at heart. James was giving a group of girls his best smile while, Kendall was gently flirting with another group. "They have a gift with people." I turned back to her. "What did you want to be, dear, if you hadn't become a singer?"

"A doctor." I whispered.

"Oh, well that's a very good job." She smiled lightly at him. "I think that your adorable smile would do better in a doctor's office than here as a singer." She patted me gently, barely touching me. "Just some advice, honey."

"Thank you." I said, voice weird and unknown. "I'll think about it."

"Good, I'm just trying to help." She left then and I watched her go, my body growing cold and hot all at the same time.

After that my happiness left. I didn't feel glad signing people's books. I felt guilty, wrong, like I didn't deserve to do it.

I signed a couple more autographs and put on my 'adorable' smile on.

All I wanted was to leave.

When I got other chances to be alone I spent them watching the others, hurt and confused.

They were all so much better than me. Who was I kidding? I could never make it as a singer. I didn't even get the slightest chance to be the cute one or anything.

geek, nerd, dork

My eyes began to get a bit wet, but I pushed them away. Right now was not the time.

Finally when the last person left, Kelly ran over and hugged all of us, squealing.

"You all did great! I'm so proud of all of you." She said, giving all of us a big, proud smile.

My heart tightened as I thought of what the woman had said.

They have a gift with people.

Kelly's words made me feel guilty. She shouldn't be smiling at me. She shouldn't be proud of me. I don't do anything for this band.

Not wanting to get back down in the dumps, I pushed those thoughts away. There was no use to feel so crappy, not now anyway.

"Good job, dogs. You did better than I would've expected." Gustavo told us when we got in his limousine.

Again the slight twinge of guilt won over and I wanted nothing more than to go to my bed and hide forever.

Someone touched me in my cut shoulder and I suppressed the urge to hiss when the slight pain went through me.

"You okay?" James asked, softly. His eyes warm and concerned. Real. The complete opposite of the woman's from earlier.

They have a gift with people.

I smiled as the pain turned to sweet, unwanted pleasure.

"Never better. I'm just tired." I lied, a small smile on my face.

James relaxed at that. "Yeah, me too. They were great huh?"

I nodded and sighed.

"You did great, James. I knew you would, but you really...have a gift with people." I said, clapping his back gently. "Good job."

"It's hard not to do great. You gotta love them, right?" He asked.

"Yes." I nodded and we were distracted when Kelly told us that we were going to get pizza and then go back to the Palm Woods to celebrate.

"Great, I'm starving." James exclaimed and he and Carlos began talking to each other.

I hanged back and watched them again. Gustavo and Kendall were listening to every word that Kelly said. Carlos and James were happy with the idea of food, but were talking about the meet and greet.

They all really belonged here.

Gustavo had wanted Kendall out of all of us. Kendall was the reason why we were all here. And soon we all had all gotten the ropes of what it meant to be singers, but I was the one who always was out of place. I was the smart one, the mature one, the serious one.

The dork. The geek. The nerd.

I didn't belong here with them. I was the outcast.

Kendall's pov

We were having such a great time and even celebrated with Pizza. I was about to feel relief when Logan began to act different. He ate, he sang and danced, and he was always with me, so I was sure that he didn't cut. But the others didn't notice that he looked extra gloomy. Depressed even.

I couldn't figure out why, but I was going to find out.

Two weeks after the meet and greet and after having long days at school and at Rocque Records, we all got home.

The Carlos and James immediately went to the pool, but I was going to stay in. Being with Logan was nice. It was stressing when I wasn't with him, but when I was, he was great company.

"What's up?" I moaned out after I dropped on the bed.

"What?" Logan looked just as exhausted as me.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Great." He yawned.

I sat up. This was my moment to find out what was wrong with Logan. It was now or never.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and he nodded distractedly. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." He sat up and rubbed his neck. He looked pretty beat for a second before he hid it behind his smile.

"I've been so stoked ever since the meet and greet." I said, changing the subject, but studying his every move.

Logan nodded me to, and cleared his throat. "Yeah, it gave me a lot to think about."

"Like what?" I asked, wanting to know.

"It's nothing really." Logan shook his head. I was going to let it go, knowing that I shouldn't push Logan to talk to me. He would when the time was ready.

A day later, we were at Rocque Records and Gustavo was having a fit because he had a talk with Griffin. He told Gustavo that he wanted the Demo done a month earlier so he only had a month and a half to write 7 more songs.

"Relax, Gustavo." Kelly said, worriedly. "It'll be okay."

But Gustavo didn't relax. Instead he started to shake. "Better step outside, you guys." Logan told us.

We all did.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, when Kelly closed the door behind her and tried to talk to Gustavo to calm him down.

"He's under a lot of stress. He needs sleep and to relax. Soon, he'll reach a nervous breakdown or worse." He sighed and sat on the couch.

"You should be a doctor, Logie." Carlos said and Logan looked at him, shocked.

"What?" He whispered.

"You're so good at knowing what's wrong with people." Carlos said, a smile on his face.

"No, I just know a lot, I'm not really a doctor yet." Logan said, a small tight smile on his face.

"Well, then you should be a teacher of doctors or something like that. You're very smart." James pointed out and nodded.

Logan hugged his knees to his chest and smiled at us wistfully. "Really? You guys think I would make a good doctor?"

"Yes." We all told him. And Logan shook his head, and looked down.

"COME HERE, DOGS!" Gustavo screamed from the inside and we all braced our selves for the lecture of our lifetime.

I looked at Logan, who would normally have a very interested look on his face, but this time he just looked sad and thoughtful.

I didn't have a chance to talk to him until almost a week later. On a Thursday. Fall was almost over and it was getting cold, but the climate here was pretty great.

Logan didn't spend time out anymore, though. Said he had a lot of homework and even when I forced him out to the pool, he would have a book in his hands, studying.

It was better than him being inside, so I didn't really mind it as much.

When we finally got to bed that night, and after having that same thoughtful look he gets when he's really thinking, I was ready to talk to him, but he beat me to it.

"Are you asleep, Kendall?" Logan whispered into our darkened room.

"That depends, are you sleep-talking?" I asked back.

"How would that make a difference?" Logan asked, laughing. I could feel the smile even though I couldn't see it.

"Well, if you're awake and talking than I'm awake, too." I paused. "But, if you're sleep-talking than no, I'm not awake." I finished.

Logan laughed at my logic. "I'm awake, too."

"Good. What's up?" I asked.

"Do you think that I would be a good doctor?" He asked, voice soft and small.

"Yes, of course." I laughed. "Why do you ask?"

Silence. He didn't answer me for a good minute. I was about to ask him what was wrong, when he answered.

"Just wondering." He turned on his sighed and yawned. "Good night." He told me.

I said good night back, but it took me a while to go back to sleep. I wondered why he had even asked that. Not wanting to think too much into it, I relaxed and fell into a deep sleep.

There you have it. Took me along time to write, but I'm proud of it. I do feel sad that I'm making Logan's life miserable, but It'll get better. Let's hope. :)