So, I'm not enjoying the writing of this story as much as I thought I would. It's hard to turn your own painful life experiences into an enjoyable read. But this is something I've wanted/needed to do for a while, so I'll just keep writing. It won't be that long, just cuz it hurts to write it. Maybe the next story will be better. Time will start passing in chunks, so be on the lookout for the bold print.

. . . . .

Kurt was alone when he woke up. It troubled him that he felt a little relieved, but also hurt. They'd just had sex for the first time and Seb couldn't even stay the whole night? Shrugging to himself, Kurt went and took a shower, wincing at how sore he still was. He hoped it eased soon, it would make sitting quite unpleasant.

Coming out of the bathroom, he walked to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Morning!" Sebastian said cheerfully.

"Holy shit, you scared me!" Kurt cried, holding a hand to his chest. Then, realizing Sebastian was actually there filled him with warmth. He walked to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. "I thought you'd left."

"I did for a little while, it was just so I could get your surprise ready," Sebastian said, handing him a cup of coffee from Coffee Stains.

"Ah, thanks, Seb. Now I don't have to make any," Kurt said gratefully, taking a long drink of the delicious coffee.

Sebastian laughed. "Hello, idiot much? That isn't your surprise," he said, holding out an envelope.

"Me, an idiot? Who picked that hairstyle?" Kurt teased, nodding toward Sebastian's swooping hair.

"You just wished you looked this hot," Sebastian grinned. "Now open it up."

Kurt pulled the pieces of paper out of the envelope. It took him a moment to get his mind to wrap around the mixture of words and numbers. It was an airline ticket, for today.

He stared up at Sebastian who was grinning proudly. "Sebastian, these are tickets to Paris, France," he said, his mouth hanging open.

"Well, it's good you learned how to read at that public school you went to," Sebastian chuckled, reaching over to close Kurt's mouth. "Please tell me you have a passport."

Kurt nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "I got one as soon as I graduated, just in case, well, just in case! Sebastian, how, why did you do this?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I want you to know that I love you and that I can take care of you. I know I screwed up last night and I wanted to make it up to you."

Kurt threw himself into Sebastian's arms. "This is the most generous gift anyone's ever given me. Thank you! Oh my god, I have to pack! Meet me back here in an hour," he called as he rushed to his closet and dragged out his suitcase.

"Try not to pack your entire closet," Sebastian said, shutting the door behind him.

Kurt packed excitedly, ignoring the tenderness still pulsing through his lower back. This really was the most generous gift he'd ever gotten. Sweet, even. He paused for a moment and went to his dresser. There, in the corner, a little red box he hadn't opened in forever. Pulling the lid up, he smiled, a tear falling from his eye. This was still the sweetest gift he'd ever received. The one that meant the most. But he could never tell Seb that. He tucked the gum-wrapper promise ring and it's box back into his drawer, pushing it to the far back, just in case.

. . . . . .

Two years later…

"What the hell do you mean?" Kurt demanded, tears streaming down his face.

"I mean that you bore me and if I feel like flirting, then I'm going to. God, look at you. You don't even try to look good for me," Sebastian said, his usual sneer in place on his thin lips.

Kurt glanced down at his designer clothes. "I'm in freaking Marc Jacobs, Sebastian, how am I supposed to look better?"

"You know I hate when you dress all girly. Two freaking years together and you'd think you could wrap your stupid head around the fact that I want you to look like a man," Sebastian kept bitching, drinking his whiskey.

"Well, you know what, it's my freaking birthday and I'm going to dress how I want to. If you want to go flirt with everyone else, I don't care. It's no different from the usual," Kurt said, tiredly wiping his face. "I'll meet you at the club tonight."

"Fine. Don't embarrass me tonight, Kurt. I'm warning you," Sebastian said, draining his glass and storming out.

Kurt couldn't have been more glad if he tried that he had refused to let Sebastian move in with him. If he didn't have his own space to retreat to, he might have gone crazy by now. Hell, he might have hired some thugs to kill the bastard by now. But no, he was the idiot who kept taking him back. Over and over, time and time again. Whenever Sebastian screwed up, hurt him, insulted him, flirted with other guys, Kurt always took him back.

Kurt, who tried to convince himself that he was in love with Sebastian. Kurt, who thought that Sebastian loved him and just needed extra love and attention. He didn't know how much more he could take. He was miserable. His life in New York, which had been perfect for the first year, was like living in a nightmare. The only good thing was school. He was at the end of his junior year now and he was still excelling. If Sebastian had been a proper boyfriend, Kurt might not have made up as many excuses as he did for needing to study. Sebastian gave him hell for being a nerd, but luckily, he didn't try to stop him. That was when he started to make friends in his classes. He didn't have any of his original friends left, none of the New Directions; Finn never even called him. Hell, he only heard from his dad on holidays now. And Blaine. He still hadn't spoken to Blaine since Kurt had insisted on being with Sebastian. He'd heard Blaine was in New York now, though they'd never contacted each other.

Sophomore year he'd opened up to a couple guys who were studying fashion design with him. Dolph and Tavio – yes that was his real name – were both on his floor in the dorm. They were a couple and had met at Parson's their freshman year. The three had become good friends. Seb even gave his approval once he realized that they found neither him nor Kurt attractive. It was to them that Kurt could go to when times with Seb got too hard to handle. They were coming to the club to celebrate Kurt's 21st birthday tonight and that was the only bright spot to the night. That and being able to get as legally drunk as he could to put up with Sebastian.

Searching his closet, he looked for something that would make him feel good. That was a rare feeling anymore. He remembered a time when he felt confident whenever he looked in a mirror. Those were good days, though he had a feeling he'd just been fooling himself. But when you're told almost daily for two years that you aren't attractive, that you were plain, that you couldn't be sexy if you tried – well all of that tended to shoot down your self-esteem after a while. Sebastian would then love on him and kiss him and tell him that it didn't matter because Sebastian didn't care if he wasn't good looking, he still loved him. Kurt came to believe after a time that Seb was as good as he could expect from life. There wouldn't be anyone else who would see him as attractive or love him. Not even Blaine would think he was good looking, not after so long. He probably wouldn't even recognize Kurt, not with how ugly he was now.

He pulled on his favorite distressed jeans, a pale blue Henley, and a black vest. He turned and twisted in front of the mirror and sighed before putting the vest back in his closet. Sebastian said he wore too many vests. Sure, Kurt liked how he looked in them, but if it saved him from more criticism from Sebastian, than it was worth it to go without. His phone buzzed and he saw a text from Tavio.

Tavio: Mind if we bring a friend? He needs to get a life. Nice guy. Kinda cute, too.

Kurt smiled. Tavio and Dolph were like parents without children, they always seemed to pick up the stray humans and try to take care of them.

Kurt: Sounds fine to me. Just tell him to watch out for Seb. He's on the prowl tonight.

Tavio: Dammit, Kurt, when are you gonna tell that asshole ENOUGH already?

Kurt: Please don't start, Tav, it's been a bad day already.

Tavio: Only cuz it's you, love. See you tonight. Bring your dancing shoes.

Kurt: Planned on it.

. . . . .

Kurt walked to the club they'd decided on, Deceptions, by himself. He could have caught a ride with Dolph, but they were picking up their friend. Kurt had wanted the time to himself. He couldn't get Tavio's question out of his mind. When would he tell Sebastian enough? The Kurt of two years ago would never deal with being treated the way he did. He'd lost himself somewhere along the way and he was more than aware of it. But he didn't know what to do about it. There was this little part of him that wondered if Sebastian was right. What if nobody ever found him attractive again or loved him again? Would he rather be miserable with someone or miserable alone? Until he figured that out, he would just stay stuck where he was.

He walked into the club, the bouncer checking his ID, that Kurt was very proud to show off now that it was legitimate. The large man winked at him and told him his first drink would be on the house. He paused at the edge of the dance floor and looked around. He saw Tavio and Dolph at a table in the corner, another guy with them. And of course, there was Sebastian, on the dance floor, grinding against some butch guy. He looked up and saw Kurt and just winked before going back to the other guy.

Kurt went to the bar and ordered his first drink. A long island iced tea. He'd heard they were good and potent and at this point, that is what he wanted. He showed the bartender his ID and was given the drink for free. He smiled at him and walked over to where Tavio and Dolph were. He sat next to Tavio, resting his head against his friend's shoulder.

Tavio made Kurt look downright masculine, at least by Sebastian's standards. Tavio had long, floppy blond hair and he loved hair accessories. He was wearing tight leather pants and a short shirt that exposed his pale midriff. His eyes were blue and so very kind, Kurt hadn't been able to resist getting to know him. Dolph was his polar opposite. He was huge, a former linebacker or some such football position. He was huge with red hair and brown eyes. Intimidating at first, you would soon find that Dolph was big, protective, and utterly prissy. The guy hated being dirty, hated drinking from bottles or cans and could eat a cheeseburger with a fork and knife and never get dripped on.

"Seb's been out there with Butch for the last couple of songs," Tavio said to him, wrapping a sympathetic arm around him.

"Ask me if I care. I'm legal now and I fully intend on getting plastered," Kurt said, taking his first sip of the drink. He wrinkled his nose and gasped against the intense flavor of the alcohol. "Holy crap!"

He heard a deep chuckle. "If the bartender knows it's your birthday, they add a couple of extra shots. I think they are trying to be nice."

Kurt finally looked at the man sitting next to Dolph. He was gorgeous. He had light brown hair and eyes so dark, they looked black in the dim light of the club. He looked almost as tall as Dolph with wide shoulders shown off to perfection in a snug t-shirt.

"I'm sorry, I've been rude," Kurt said, offering his hand. "Kurt Hummel."

"Kian O'Reilly," the man said, shaking his hand, his own hand warm and large.

"Kian?" Kurt asked, practicing the strange name.

"Yeah, it's like key-in, like stick the key in the car," Kian said, obviously having given the explanation a million times in the past.

"I like it," Kurt said, giving him a big smile.

Kian blushed. "Thanks. My parents insisted that everyone in the world needed to know that we're Irish. Sometimes I think it's a curse."

"Are your folks from Ireland?" Kurt asked, taking another sip and giving another look and gasp at the flavor.

Kian laughed, pushing over a glass of water. "Here, nobody's drank from this. You'll want to keep up on the water as much as the alcohol. And no, my folks aren't. My great-great grandparents were. But since it was in the last century, my parents think we just got here to the new country," he said, mimicking an Irish accent.

"Good accent. I went to high school with a foreign exchange student from Ireland, Rory. It took people a while to be able to understand what he was saying, but he was a good kid," Kurt said, taking a long drink of the water and shooting Kian a grateful look.

A waitress walked up to the table and sat down four shot glasses. "Thanks," Dolph said. "Kurt, in honor of your birthday, buttershots, my absolute favorite."

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Butter?"

Dolph chuckled. "Not actual butter, Kurt. It's buttershots liqueur with Irish cream on the top. It's good, creamy and not too sweet." Dolph raised his shot glass. "To Kurt, happy birthday."

"Happy birthday," Tavio and Kian said, toasting him.

Kurt gave a quick glance toward Sebastian, knowing he'd get pissed to miss a birthday toast. But he still had his cock rubbing against some guys ass, so Kurt didn't care. He raised his glass and drank the shot down. There was a slight burn, but the creamy taste of the liqueur was delicious.

"Yum," Kurt said, his eyes lighting up. "Can I have another one?"

Tavio hugged him. "Of course. It's your night, love."

Two buttershots and half a long island iced tea later found Kurt on the dance floor with his friends, all of them dancing like idiots.

Sebastian danced his way over and grabbed Kurt's ass in his hands, grinding up against him. Kurt was feeling pleasantly buzzed and allowed the dance to continue. Suddenly, Sebastian's hands dropped and he pushed him lightly. "Jesus, Hummel, what is up with you? I can't even get it up around you anymore," Sebastian complained loudly.

Dolph went and stood in front of Sebastian, topping the thin man by at least four inches. "You're going to need to keep your hands off Kurt, there, Sebastian."

"Oh really, Lurch? He's my boyfriend. I can touch him any way I want to," Sebastian said, but took a small step back from the group. "Screw this, I'm going to dance with somebody who actually does it for me."

Kurt walked off the dance floor, his face burning with humiliation. He sat down and took a chug off the nearest drink.

"Is that guy really your boyfriend?" a soft voice asked.

Kurt looked up into the kind, dark eyes of Kian, a stranger and yet already nicer than Sebastian had ever been. "Yeah, unfortunately he is."

Kian sat down and drank some water, wondering at the haunted look in this beautiful man's eyes. How could anyone treat someone so unworldly like Sebastian just had?

"Can I ask why?"

"You can ask, but it doesn't mean I have an answer," Kurt said with a tired smile. "I don't know. I used to think I loved him; hell, I used to think he loved me."

"And now?" Kian's eyes were interested.

"Now? Now, I wonder why the hell I've wasted the last two years of my life," Kurt answered.

"Two years? And you haven't killed him yet?" Kian asked with an incredulous smile.

"Not yet. I don't know. I keep thinking he's changing, that he's finally going to be what I need him to be. Or maybe I'll finally become what he wants me to be. Though I'm starting to think that might be an impossible task," Kurt said, his voice quiet.

Kian wanted to hug the other man. There was such desolation in his voice. This should be a night of celebration and being young and silly. Kurt's eyes looked much older than he was.

"Maybe he is the problem, not you," Kian offered.

Kurt chuckled bitterly. "That would be convenient, wouldn't it? But no, I never dress right, I always say the wrong thing, I always push him when I shouldn't," Kurt said, taking another long drink.

Kian's hackles rose. "What do you mean you push him when you shouldn't?"

Kurt smiled, not realizing the alcohol had loosened his tongue, allowing him to say what he would never normally say. "I piss him off when I know I shouldn't and he pushes me or hits me. Then he cries and I have to apologize. Again. I do that a lot," Kurt murmured into his glass.

Kian took a deep breath. "Come on, birthday, boy. Irish tradition says you have to dance with a stranger on your birthday."

"You aren't a stranger," Kurt said, giving him a dazzling smile.

Kian swallowed. That smile should come with a warning, he thought. "Kurt, nobody gets stranger than me. Come on," he said and led Kurt to the dance floor.

They rejoined Dolph and Tavio and the four danced together. Every time Kian saw Kurt's eyes flash toward Sebastian, he'd start dancing silly until Kurt paid attention to him again. This beautiful man didn't deserve the abuse he was getting at the hands of that prick.

"You're nice," Kurt said, his words slurring a bit, as he wrapped his arms around Kian's neck.

"Thanks, so are you," Kian said, keeping a respectful distance between their bodies.

"Seb says he can't get it up around me anymore. Can I tell you a secret?" Kurt whispered loudly.

"Sure," Kian smiled.

"I'm glad he can't. It hurts too bad when he does," Kurt said, a sad look on his face. "Sex isn't worth it."

Kian was about ready to explode. He didn't care if he was a virtual stranger to this ethereal creature, every bone in his body screamed for him to protect him. He turned and caught Tavio's eyes. He waved him over and Tavio gallantly asked to cut in, causing Kurt to giggle madly.

Kian went and began dancing with Dolph. He was tall at six foot two, but next to Dolph, he felt downright dainty.

"So, Dolph, you and Tavio are friends with Kurt. Why have you let this go on so long?" Kian asked abruptly.

"Wow, you just went right for the jugular didn't you?" Dolph said, his brown eyes wide. "Well, we are there for Kurt as much as we can. He knows he can come to us if he needs something. And Sebastian is an asshole, but he does seem to love Kurt."

"Please don't punch me," Kian said, holding up a hand. "But you guys have some serious blinders on. I've known Kurt for a total of two hours and granted, he's full of alcohol, but he's already told me Sebastian hits him. He also said that he doesn't mind not being able to turn Sebastian on because sex hurts with him. Now, does that seem right to you?"

Dolph stopped dancing, his usually warm, tea colored eyes, ice cold. "Are you serious?"

"I would not make something like this up," Kian said.

Dolph nodded. "Thank you for telling me. Let's give tonight to Kurt, but as soon as we leave this place, Smythe's ass is mine. And I don't mean for fucking."

Kian got actual shivers at the sudden menace coming off Dolph in waves. Tavio must have felt them from several feet away because he came and switched back with Kian.

Kian swayed with Kurt, watching the conversation with Tavio and Dolph. He knew the instant Tavio heard the news, his entire frame stiffened and his face went white. He pulled his long blond hair back and clipped it up. His hands began opening and closing. Kian had the feeling Sebastian wouldn't be walking home tonight. He may need an ambulance. Kian hoped he got to help.

The three men stayed next to Kurt for the remainder of the evening, getting him drinks and making him laugh as they danced together. Kurt started getting a little handsy with Kian as the night wore on. Kian tried to keep it PG, but he had to admit that feeling Kurt's small, perfectly round ass against his groin made him want to scream with pleasure. Just another minute, he promised himself, closing his eyes. Then he'd move Kurt around so things were more proper.

"Well, look who went and got his inner slut on," came a cold voice.

Kurt practically wilted in Kian's arms, going tense at the same time. "I was just dancing, Sebastian."

"Yeah, with your ass on this guy's cock," Sebastian growled.

"And where has your cock been tonight?" Dolph asked, walking over.

"Stay out of this, Lurch. You and Fabio over there need to mind your business if you want to stay in Kurt's life," he threatened.

"Seb, I'm sorry, okay? Come on, I'll dance with you if you want," Kurt said, walking over and trying to take Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian slapped his hand away. "I don't want you."

Kurt just nodded and Kian had had enough. "You know, if you claim to love Kurt, you have a really crappy way of showing it."

"Who the fuck are you and why do you think it's any of your business?" Sebastian asked, glaring at Kian.

"I'm someone who can see that you treat Kurt like shit," Kian bit out. Kian was maybe an inch taller than Sebastian and he used that height, leaning over the thinner man.

"I can treat Kurt however I want. He'll just keep taking it like he always does," he smiled cruelly at Kurt. "Won't you, baby?"

"Seb, why are you being so mean?" Kurt asked, his eyes overflowing with tears. "Did you forget to take your meds today?"

Sebastian laughed so hard he slapped his knees. "Those pills? Kurt, babe, I haven't taken those pills in a year and a half. What the hell? You are so dumb. Did you notice I never got any refills?"

"So, you have knowingly treated Kurt like garbage?" Kian asked, stepping in front of Kurt, hearing a soft sob escape him.

"Why not? He takes it," Sebastian said. "Then I buy him flowers or a trip to Paris or a bracelet and like the little hooker he is, he forgives me."

"THAT'S IT!" came a high pitched shriek. Kurt came out from behind Kian, his blue-green eyes full of fire and hate. "That is it, Sebastian. We are over, done, finished."

A small crowd had gathered when Kurt had screamed. Sebastian looked around, knowing he had to watch his mouth with people listening.

"Come on, Kurt," he said, using his sweet voice. "You know I love you."

"No, you don't," Kurt said, his voice shaking, but strong. "You don't hit people you love. You don't force yourself on people you love. You don't belittle them and hurt them and laugh all the while. Damn you, Sebastian. All this time, I thought you were making an effort since you were taking those pills. And to find out that you quit taking them a fucking year and a half ago?"

"Kurt, babe, don't do this," Sebastian said, worry in his voice. Not over Kurt breaking up with him, but the reaction of the people in the club hearing that Kurt had been hit and forced. The gay community did not take kindly to domestic violence of any kind. "Tell them the truth, Kurt. I never hit you," he said, trying to glare Kurt down.

"Really? You didn't?" Kurt asked. He pulled up his shirt and showed a bruise against his rib cage.

Kian gasped swallowed back bile. The deep blue and purple against that porcelain flesh was like the sickest blasphemy. "How about this one? I guess you didn't do this either?" Kurt pulled the side of his pants down to reveal finger mark bruises on his hip and not the kind you get from being just too close. Those were cruel and meant to cause pain.

The crowd around them was getting larger and sounding more and more angry.

"Kurt, you take it back and tell them the truth or you'll be sorry," Sebastian warned.

"I'm sorry, did anyone else just hear this asshole threaten him after we all just saw the bruises on him?" the bartender asked from behind the bar.

It was then Kurt realized that the music had come to a stop and every pair of eyes in the club were on them. With a cry of humiliation, Kurt ran toward the door.

Tavio touched Dolph's arm. "You go after him. I've got this taken care of," Dolph said with a grin.

"Get one in there for me," Tavio whispered. After Dolph nodded, he hurried after Kurt.

Kian, Dolph, and a large group of angry men descended on Sebastian.

"He was lying! He was just jealous cuz I danced with someone else," Sebastian said, holding his hands up.

"You told me you were single and we should go in the back and fuck," one of the guys he'd danced with said.

"I'd shut up while you still have the chance of getting out of here alive," Dolph warned quietly, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Did you hear that? Someone call the cops, these guys are threatening me," Sebastian yelled over to the bartender and the bouncers.

"Oh, sorry, phone's dead," the bartender said.

"And I didn't hear anything," the bouncer said. "Music's too loud."

"There's no music," Sebastian cried, his voice going shrill.

Suddenly the music blasted back on and the men moved in. And what do you know, the music was too loud to hear anything after that.

. . . . .

He's not dead, don't worry. Not that he doesn't deserve to be. I don't think he'll be getting a date anytime soon, though. I wish there'd been someone to beat the shit out of the guy who did this to me. But that is where the satisfaction of writing comes in.