Ryan remembers Marissa in his dorm room

I'm making flowers out of paper,
while darkness takes the afternoon.
I know that they won't last forever,
but real ones fade away too soon.

Ryan sat in his dorm room, just after class looking outside. It was getting darker, that was expected as it became fall. It meant somber days, rain and cold wind. But what would you expect in New York? He hated it here, should have gone to college with Seth and Summer, close to home. Berkely. But no, he thought if 'I go away it will get better'. Stupid tought. He missed things, felt lonely. Simple things as Sandy waking you up on a Sunday morning. Sure, he did go home. Sometimes. But that was not the same. Looking down to his paper he saw: Flowers. Why had he drawn flowers all over his notes? That was something Marissa would do, Marissa, shit again…


I still cry, sometimes when I remember you.
I still cry, sometimes when I hear your name.
I said goodbye and I know you're allright now,
but when the leaves start falling down, I still cry..

He just can't help it. Seeing her smile, laugh, giggle. Her beautiful eyes, mouth, nose, hell everything was beautiful. Excactely was. He remembered all the times in the poolhouse, after their first kiss. The time he trew her in the pool, the time she picked their song. Forever Young. Only for her. Not in a good way though. He would get old, maybe forget her. NO. couldn't do that. Never forget her. Never. Always remember how she was, the good days.


It's just that I recall september.
It's just that I still hear your song.
It's just I can't seem to remember,
forever more those days are gone.

Don't remember the bad days, when she overdosed, when she met Oliver. Remember the good ones, not when she and Alex got together, not when she shot Trey. But what did it all care? He still loved her after that. Couldn't help that either. She was just great. Marissa.


I still cry, sometimes when I remember you.
I still cry, sometimes when I hear your name.
I said goodbye and I know you're allright now,
but when the leaves start falling down, I still cry..

He was planning on going home tomorrow. Home. He still called it that way, actually here was home but it did not felt like it. The Berkely house also didn't fot the name though. The only place he called home was the poolhouse, but that wasn't there any more. Neither was she. Marissa.


I still cry, sometimes when I remember you.
I still cry, sometimes when I hear your name.
I said goodbye and I know you're allright now,
but when the leaves start falling down, I still cry..
But when the leaves start falling down, I still cry.....

- Song: Ilse de Lange – I still cry -