Chapter 30

Jude woke up from a blissful dream. She didn't want to open her eyes because the bed was so warm. She'd had a long day. It started with her and Tommy doing their best to save water by showering together. All that did was cause them to be late. Being a senior meant she didn't have a lot of classes, but she did have a class that afternoon while Tommy worked with Karma.

Then she had to go home. Walking into her house was strange because she hadn't been there in a while. She pretty much stayed at Tommy's every night. Her dad was home and wanted both girls home for dinner. Sadie practically lived with Kwest.

"Okay girls, you're free to go." Stuart said after dinner.

"Dad, you've been gone a couple of weeks. We can stay." Sadie insisted.

"No, it's okay. You have your own lives now. I just wanted dinner with my girls. I'll see you both tomorrow nigh at Jude's party."

"Are you sure?" Jude asked.

"Go."

"Okay bye, dad. Love you. Don't wait up. I probably won't be home." Sadie said and was gone.

Jude laughed at Sadie, but it was sort of a nervous laugh. She couldn't remember the last time she slept in her own bed alone. "I won't be too late."

"Don't worry about it, Jude. Tomorrow you'll be eighteen. You're responsible and I trust you. I'll know where to find you if I need you."

"Are you serious?"

"Go. I'm sure Tom is going crazy without you."

"Thanks dad. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too sweetie."

When she got to Tommy's, he hadn't been expecting her. He was boxing stuff up out of his closet.

"Hey Babe, what are you doing?" She asked from the doorway.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Jude, I thought you were at home."

"Dad just wanted to have dinner with us. He told us both to go afterwards. But back to my question, what's with the boxes?"

"Just boxing things up for charity. You know I have so much."

Jude wasn't convinced but she dropped the subject. Tommy had acted weird lately, and she was determined to find out what was going on, later. A few hours apart drove them both crazy.

She knew it wasn't morning yet. She hadn't been a sleep that long. Rolling over, she reached for Tommy, but he wasn't there. She sighed and opened her eyes. The clock read before midnight, and Tommy was nowhere in the room.

She sat there a few minutes thinking maybe he would be right back. When he didn't, she started thinking about her birthday. It was only minutes away. She thought about her party, and who would be there and who wouldn't. Maybe Jamie would come around. She missed him, but she missed Patsy more. It made her thinks about after Patsy died.

She woke up securely in Tommy's arms. Flashes of the day before went though her mind. She wished the whole day was a dream, but it wasn't. Patsy was gone. Her heart went out to Jamie. She knew he was really hurting. Tommy's arms tightened around her and she thought about the previous night. All he thought about was feeling better. It hurt so badly loosing a friend and she was desperate for something that made her feel good. She knew if things had gone farther, she'd been okay with it because she was ready. But she didn't want to remember her first time like that.

"Morning." Tommy mumbled into her neck.

"Morning." She responded. Her voice was still weak from crying.

"How are you feeling?"

"Numb."

"That's to be expected." She could hear the sadness in his voice. She knew he'd been through this before.

"Will you drop me off at home?" She wanted to stay in his arms forever, but didn't ant to cause him more pain by having to watch her be sad.

"Sure."

She thought being at home might help, but being alone made things worse. It gave her way too much time to think. So she went to G Major. She slipped in the back door and went straight into the studio she and Tommy always worked in. She was able to sit there awhile before Tommy came in.

"Jude, what are you doing here?"

She really didn't know. "Hiding and waiting. Just hiding and waiting."

"I thought you were going to stay home and get some rest." He sat down beside her.

"I got plenty of rest last night. Sitting at home was driving me crazy. Too much space to think."

"You're probably still in shock. It happens." She was reminded yet again that he'd been through this before.

"Yeah. I've just never lost someone my own age before."

"Too young."

"You know when I was with her she was angry. I made her angry."

"Jude, like I told you last night, it wasn't your fault."

"I knew she was smashed. I knew."

"Patsy was fearless. Fearless. And funny and witty and totally out of control."

"She was, wasn't she?"

"It was inevitable." She could see that in his head he was somewhere far away. She couldn't take him back there. When he walked away, she just watched him go.

Darius had called everyone together to talk about arrangements. The memorial service was going to be held at G Major. Jude didn't think it was the best place, but she was too upset to speak up.

She and the guys ended up at The Chain remembering Patsy the way she really was. They sat around telling stories. Spied made the comment that they should throw her an Irish Wake. Something all her friends could be at since Darius requested some people not show up at G Major.

The next day she found out the G Major was releasing Patsy's album and running with the song that caused her demise. She tried to talk to Jamie, but he was to angry to be reasoned with. Patsy hated G Major, and Jude knew she wouldn't want any of what was planned. She started to go to Tommy, but decided against it. He was having hard time, and she knew it with out him saying it.

She went to Sadie instead. "How do I stop this?"

"I don't know. Maybe Tommy…"

"No, I don't want to bother Tommy with this. He's going through enough."

"Jude, he just wants to be there for you."

"Are we only talking about Tommy?"

"Kwest is shutting me out."

"Sorry sis. Just keep letting him know you're there for him."

Jude decided with the help of her band they were going to throw the real wake Spied had suggested. It was going to be something Patsy would be proud of. The tricky part was they were going to get Patsy's ashes from G Major.

She went to get help from Jamie, but he point blank blamed her for whet happened. No matter how many times Tommy had told her it wasn't her fault, she believed Jamie. If she had stopped Patsy, the accident wouldn't have happened.

Somehow Spied was able to get a key card so they could break into G Major that night. Jude found walking into D's office creepy. They found the urn, but neither felt like they could touch it.

"What are you doing?" A voice from the doorway said. They turned to find Tommy.

"Dude." Spied said jumping.

"Patsy doesn't belong here."

"You're stealing her ashes?"

"We're taking her to one last party."

She watched Tommy stare at the urn. She didn't want him to be upset that she didn't come to him. She just was trying to protect him. He picked it up and handed it to her. "Show her a good time."

That night she couldn't sleep. Sadie and her dad were asleep so she curled up on the couch and flipped through channels. She heard a tap on the front door and found Tommy. "Hey what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on you. Your cell is off, and I figured your dad was asleep, so I drove by. I saw the light on."

"Come on in. I couldn't sleep" They sat on the couch.

"You should have called me."

"I didn't want to bother you."

"Jude you never bother me. Why would you think that?"

"I know what is coming up and I didn't want to cause you unnecessary grief." She couldn't even look at him.

She heard him chuckle, and looked up. "You just lost a close friend, and you're your worried about me? Sure this brings feelings up, but I can handle it. I have my girl and my best friend to take care of. I'm stronger than I look."

"Yeah Sadie said Kwest was shutting her out. Have you talked to him?"

"A bit, he'll be okay. He just needs to get through it his own way. We all do."

"It's just this business. Darius is exploiting her, and Jamie is letting him. Plaus Jamie blames me."

"Next week he'll blame someone new."

That's what Spied said."

"For once I agree with him. So I guess you're not going to the G Major memorial service."

"We're having a wake on the beach. I think Patsy would like it."

Tommy wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him. This was what she needed all day. "Why don't you go to sleep?" He said kissing the crown of her head. She was asleep before she could respond.

When she woke up the next morning, Tommy was gone, but he left a note. 'Left before your dad got up. Love you and I will see you at the beach. –T.'

She was torn between wanting him there and wanting to guard him from painful memories. She remembered him saying he could handle it. For her sake, she hoped he really could because she needed him more than anything. This was going to be a hard day.

She met the guys at the rehearsal space before going to the beach. She saw Sadie and Kwest walk up together and it made her smile that he was letting her in. Tommy wasn't there when they started. She worried a bit, but then got caught up in the stories people were telling. She sang a couple of songs.

When everything was winding down, she noticed Tommy pull up on his motorcycle in the distance. She went to him immediately. "Where have you been?" She asked concerned.

"I'll tell you later. I'm sorry I was late." She could tell he was sincere.

"It's okay. You're here now and that is all that matters. I missed you this morning when I woke up alone on the couch."

"I hated leaving you, but you looked so peaceful. Plus I don't want to push my limits with your dad."

"I understand."

"Dude, you ready?" Spied called out to her,

"I have to go say good bye to my friend. Will you wait right here?" She tried to sound strong, but her voice cracked.

"Of course."

She and Spied walked down to the water. The beach was where Patsy was happy, so Spied poured her ashes out. 'Now she is free.' Jude thought to herself before letting the gold fish free into the water. Standing back up, she couldn't hold in her sobs any longer.

"It's okay." Spied said pulling her into a hug.

She cried for her friend that was gone, for the friend that blamed her, and for herself.

"Come on." Spied said pulling away. "Let Quincy take you home."

She looked up and saw him standing in the exact spot she left him. He had silent tears running down his face. It was the first time she'd seen him cry in a long time. She wrapped her arms around his waist when she got to him and buried her face in his chest.

"Come on girl. Let's get you home." He said in a soothing voice.

On the ride to her house, she held on tight and let the wind wash over her. The freedom she felt on the back of his bike calmed her nerves.

That evening she sat on her front steps waiting on him to pick her up for dinner. She saw Jamie come home. "Jamie."

All he did was look at her. "Jamie, come sit with me." She felt bad because he looked so sad.

"I can't. Jude, I just can't." He said and waled into his house.

Jamie hadn't really talked to her since then. She hoped one day she'd have her old friend back.

Tommy hadn't come back to bed yet, so she decided to go look for him. She wrapped the sheet around her and went towards the hallway. Near the stairs was where she heard the piano. It was a beautiful melody.

Once she was downstairs, she just stood back and listened. He was so focused that he never noticed her. She wondered if there were any lyrics to it. "It's beautiful." She finally spoke up.

Tommy jumped at the sound of her voice. He'd been trying to perfect the song before playing it for her. "You're awake." He said turning to face her.

"I got lonely in the bed by myself." She sat down on the bench with him.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"You wrote me a song?" She was amazed.

"Its just part of your birthday present." He said and started playing again.

Jude stared at him as he sang. It reminded her why she loved him so much. He was always amazing her. "I love it." She said when he was done.

He leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was meant to be gentle, but was filled with passion. They had an overwhelming need for each other. Jude's hands framed his face as his tongue grazed her bottom lip. She granted him entrance deepening the kiss.

They pulled back when the need for oxygen burned in each of their lungs. Tommy rested his forehead on hers as they caught their breath. "I thought you could sing it at your party with me on piano."

"That would be perfect."

He looked over at the clock and noticed it was after midnight. "Happy Birthday." He whispered.

"Thank you. I'm finally eighteen." She said grinning.

"Yes you are." He said and kissed her quickly. "What time is your dad expecting you home?"

"He's not. Told me he knew where I would be if he needed me."

"Really?" Tommy was shocked. He'd been preparing himself for sleeping without her for the night.

Jude nodded before meeting his lips again. She locked her fingers around his neck holding him close to her. She could feel the heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. He desire for Tommy was never quenched.

Tommy shifted so he could stand up and pick her up bridal style. He walked towards the stairs never breaking the kiss. She moaned into his mouth making him shudder. "I love when you do that." He said pulling back for a needed breath.

"I. Love. You." Jude said between kisses down Tommy's neck.

He placed her on the bed, removing the sheet from around her. "Beautiful." He said mesmerized by her.

They made slow harmonious movements. A breath was caught then sighed away like the wind. Like a delicate waltz, their dance was light and elegant. When the tempo increased, they surged with the music, spinning, whirling their eyes open and locked together. Their love for each other was clearly shown deeply in their eyes.

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. Last week was a rough we for me. Work and family issues were keeping me from being able to focus on writing. It seems the closer I am getting to the end the longer it takes me to write a chapter. Please keep reviewing. I love reading what people are thinking.