Katniss

Today started off as it normally does; me fighting with Peeta about him taking his medication. It's been a little over twenty years since Peeta was taken from me and all his memories hijacked. We were only teenagers then but Peeta hasn't been the same since. He came back to me for the most part. His kind, blue eyes stayed with me and I fell in love with the baker. We were all we had for a very long time and eventually we were married. I loved him and for a while everything was beautiful. Peeta did have the occasional flashback but I was always able to coax him out of it and he always returned to me.

About ten years ago Peeta started developing symptoms of an issue that I simply was not equipped to handle. Dr. Aurelis diagnosed him with a disorder that caused hallucinations, terrible paranoia, and serious delusions. He said it was something called schizophrenia and apparently it was a direct result of the hijacking. We never saw it coming. After years of constant therapy sessions and real or not real exercises we all thought Peeta would be fine.

We were wrong.

It started off slowly. He'd sometimes sit for hours mumbling to himself or staring into space. I'd have to call his name repeatedly to snap him out of it but sometimes the sound of my voice just wasn't enough.

Then came the hallucinations.

I went to Dr. Aurelis and told him that Peeta's condition was worsening. He prescribed me with something a little stronger to give to him but Peeta was completely and utterly against taking it. He said it gave him tremendous migraines and made him sleep for far too long. He hated the medicine but it was the only thing that seemed to bring him back to me. He refused to take them.

"Peeta I don't want to fight with you today. Just make this easier on both of us and take the medication," I begged. I was in no mood for his attitude.

"No Katniss! I told you what those things do to me and I'm not going to take them!"

Peeta snatched the bottle from my hands and threw it across the room.

"Peeta!" I yelled. I ran across the room and dropped to my knees as I scrambled to pick the pills up from off of the floor.

"Leave them Katniss! Leave them now!" He shouted making his way across the room towards me. He grabbed me by one arm and hoisted me up.

I started to cry as I broke free of his grasp and bolted down the stairs. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure but I finally calmed down. Peeta slowly stalked down the steps and took a seat on the couch next to me.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," he said.

"It's okay Peeta. I'm fine."

He sighed before continuing. "Katniss I know that you're just trying to help but you don't understand what that medication does to me. It makes me crazy."

"No Peeta. It's not the medication that's making you this way. Your mind has been playing tricks on you for a very long time now Peeta. The drugs will only help the visions go away."

"Visions? What visions?" he asked.

I studied Peeta's face a few minutes before answering. I looked into his blue eyes which now seemed glazed over with a distant stare although he was looking directly at me. His hands were trembling in his lap and small beads of sweat started to develop on his forehead. Peeta was not here anymore.

"Why don't you ever talk to them Katniss? Hold them? You are their mother! They need you to be present!" He shouted at me. I tried my best to remain calm and convince him that there was no one in the room besides him and myself.

"Peeta look at me. There is no one else here. Only you and I. Please baby come back to me," I cooed unsuccessfully. Now Peeta was standing on his feet, outraged beyond repair. His fists were clenched and his jaw pulsated as he tried to control himself.

"No Katniss! You need to snap out of it! Stop trying to pacify me and open your damn eyes!" he shouted.

I looked at the man standing before me and realized he was not the man I married. This man is full of delusions and uncertainty. I can't trust him. Something familiar boils up on the inside of my belly. It's warm and it feels a little dangerous. Anger.

"Peeta they are not real! No one is there! Stop this! I can't take this anymore!" I yelled.

It's been many years since I've raised my voice at Peeta. The last time I did it sent him into one of his flashbacks and I endured serious physical damage at Peeta's own hands. I promised him that I wouldn't do yell at him ever again as he cleaned my wounds. This had all become too much for me. I'd been suppressing so much resentment and angst throughout the years. My marriage had become a full time job. I was nothing more than a nurse to a sick patient.

I could sense Peeta's mental snap the moment I raised my voice at him. By the time I started to apologize it was too late. Peeta grabbed me and shoved me against the wall. He clenched my jaw tightly in his hand and forced my face in the direction of the fireplace.

"Look at them Katniss! Look at them now!" he screamed at me. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I looked at the empty space that remained before the fireplace.