Just a tiny oneshot of the scene where Lucas tells Peyton he doesn't hate her and what I would like him to have been thinking... :P

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters... all hail Mark Schwahn.

I Don't Hate You

Lucas pov

I walked silently into her office, her voice tinted with urgency and... was that sadness? Or just my hope. I sincerely wanted nothing else than for my own piece of mind to know that I hadn't caused her pain, but I knew that was not true. And a selfish part of me rejoiced at the fact that she still cared enough about me for my meaningless words to hurt her so.

I realised, with some sadness that she had made the space my mum and I had given her was completely transformed, how had I not noticed before? She had put her own mark on it and it reminded me so much of her old room. For a moment I was transported back to when we were both teenagers and I was once again at her doorway looking at the girl I who was my best friend and true love. When a simple "sorry" and hug could fix any ill feelings. As I looked at her I realised it was too late for simple. I had ruined any chance of that.

She was hunched over, a shell of the woman I had seen at the river court the night we met for the first time since LA. That night she had been bright and shiny Peyton, full of hope and love. Now she looked as if she'd locked her heart in a cast iron box and was protecting whatever was left with her life.

I had done that. Pain and realisation crossed my face.

"I don't hate you."

The words hung there as she lifted her head. Her impossibly deep eyes hesitantly meeting mine, so full of fear and sadness.

She had to know. How could she not? All that I had said and felt from all those years ago was not gone, or buried deep where I could never find it. It was right where it had been since the first time I ever spoke to her. Laid eyes on her, even. In my heart, my eyes, my breath. It was all there, but she was too confused and unable to see it. I couldn't blame her, Peyton had been through so much. It was hard for her to trust anything or anyone anymore.

I don't hate you

She had to know.

I needed her to know.

Looking into her beautiful eyes, I began...

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