Bella looked up at me with such sadness and disappointment in her eyes. I began to cry just looking at her. I knew I had broke her heart and by doing so it was shattering mine. I didn't know how to tell her it didn't matter. I knew right then and there I could not continue to live without her in my life. She never said a word, tears rolled down her cheeks, her hands were folded together in her lap. She had a look of complete decimation on her face. I fell to my knees in front of her, laid my head in my hands on her leg and pleaded for her forgiveness. I told her I would do anything in the world to just hear her say she could forgive me for being what I am. I promised to take her safely home and leave Forks forever, if I could just hear one whisper that she could forgive me. I was crying like I had never cried before, just knowing because I was what I was, I had ruined my only chance of ever being happy.

Bella leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me and in a soft whisper full of tears and pain, she said she would never forgive herself for being a mere human, and disappointing her guardian angel like this. I wrapped my arms around her legs and we just sat and held each other and sobbed.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, it seemed like forever but in all honesty it was probably only a few short minutes, I heard sniffles from the other girls and raised my head just enough to peek. Rose was cuddled in Emmet's lap with her head buried in his shoulder and he was slowly stroking her hair. Alice had drawn her little legs up onto the sofa and was hugging them to her as she cried. Jasper had moved to sit by Alice and had his arms wrapped around her and was rocking her gently back and forth.

Then Jasper began to speak, soft but clearly.

"We aren't like humans in many ways, we have no choice when we fall in love. When we meet our soul mate it's just that, our soul mate. There is a craving to be with them, no not just a craving, a deep hungering need to be with them. We physically ache with need, not sexual need, just need to be with them. Our bodies, our minds, our everything begins to revolve around that person. Our one goal in life is then to make them happy and content. There is no divorce among the Carpathians, there have been widows, from battles or accidents, there have been widowers, from accidents or aggressions but to leave the one we are destined to be with is unfathomable. There have been many times throughout history that a Carpathian male has gone to the elder circle in request to be killed because the pain of living without his mate is too much to bare day to day."

" We didn't come here to make your lives hurtful in any way. Edward was drawn here to protect you, and Emmet and I followed to help our brother. But the moment I laid eyes on you I was completely lost. I knew then and there I had found what most creatures search their whole lives for. I believe I can speak for Emmet and Edward as well when I say, we will leave this area as soon as we know for certain that Lucien is gone and you will be safe. We will in the mean time remain completely out of your sight. If you would like, we can block out parts of your memory where all this will have been just like a bad dream that disappears, but please know that nothing we do can ever block you from our memories or our hearts."

It was the longest and most important speech I had ever heard Jasper say in my whole life. Alice looked up at him. "If you look like this and you are that old, when I'm 80 you will look like you are 30, what will people think seeing us walking hand in hand?" He took her face gently in his hands and said,"I don't care what anyone says, I would be proud to show you off if you were 103 and unable to walk anymore. I would simply carry you around on a pillow."

Emmet piped in, "There are ways we can be completely compatible." Both Jasper and I yelled, NO EMMET!" "No way!" "We will not even consider that." He pouted at first then he agreed with us. "It was just a thought."

The girls looked at us inquisitively but we just shook our heads and refused to even explain that part of it. There was no way I would ever put Bella through that. Just because my body had screwed up and chosen a human, didn't mean I was going to ever let her pay for it with pain and suffering.

For right now just being forgiven would be more than enough. I looked at Bella and needed her to truly see me, not the creature I had finally confessed to being, but me, Edward. She stared back into my eyes and I saw how soft and warm hers were. It would take some time for them to accept everything, even the few things we had barely touched on, but I knew they could at least accept it someday and by then we would just be a memory from the past.

We sat there holding the girls for a long time and after a while I had to remind them that we needed to clean them up and get them home before their parents began to worry. They got up and I showed them where the bathroom was and after a bit they all emerged looking not too shabby considering everything they had gone through in the last 36 hours.

"I'm not trying to be rude or anything girls but we need you to make a decision before we take you home. Do you want us to block your memories? If all this is going to give you nightmares or flashbacks, then please let us at least do this much for you. There is no sense in all of us being hurt. If however you choose to keep your memories, please please don't relay this to anyone. There will be no proof, we will be long gone and you won't have to put up with us ever again."

The girls each came to stand in front of us. Bella spoke, "We discussed this in the bathroom, we don't want to lose our memories, and we don't want to lose you boys either. For right now, we are content with keeping it light, but who knows what the future holds for anyone. We don't want to forget anything about you, and there is nothing to forgive, you each put your life on the line to keep us safe back there and we saw it. What girl in her right mind would walk out on her hero?"

I looked down into her beautiful face, I could still see the tears in her eyes but her look was one of determination. Before I could stop myself I lowered my head to hers and kissed her. A tender sweet kiss of absolute adoration. This girl never ceased to completely take my breath away in every single way possible. I drew my head back and looked at her again, on her lips was a gentle smile.

The chief was at work so we dropped them off at Bella's house. She in turn carried the others home in her truck, with us behind them and stopping at the end of the block so no one saw us. As soon as she got back to her house, I walked her to the door to make sure nothing was tampered with here. She went in and I waited to hear both locks click before leaving. I had already made her promise to not open the door to anyone, just to go upstairs and get some sleep. On our way home, we made a pact with each other that we would not call the girls. If they still wanted to see us after they had slept and had time to let everything sink in, then we would tackle that road when it came. But we would not aggravate the situation by being the ones to call them.

When we got home, we called dad to see where the situation was on his end. Mom answered and was extremely relieved to hear we were ok. She said Dad and a Division of Guardians had left to have a peace talk with the shape shifters representatives. They were making an attempt to keep this thing from escalating here in the North Americas. If he could get them to honor the treaty they had been forced to sign years ago, they would retain their forces at their present locations and the humans would not be in danger of suffering severe losses. That sounded great to us, but we still wanted to find Lucien and make sure he paid for what he had put the girls through.

Then mom asked us what all had happened here. We started telling from the phone call I had received and went through our sitting the girls down this morning and spilling our guts. It got very quiet and finally mom said, "I'm proud of you boys. You were honest with those girls and didn't lead them on knowing what the situation was. It may hurt right now, but knowing that they will be happy and safe in the long run is worth it all isn't it?"

Before I could say anything Jas whispered,"We love them mom."

We heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end. It was a good minute to minute and a half before we heard mom say, "Well I guess that changes our strategy then doesn't it? What do the girls say about all this newly revealed information?"

"They didn't want us to block their memories, they just wanted to take time for it all to sink in. We made sure they all got home safe and we left." We told her about the pact we made with each other as we drove home and she agreed that it was a good idea to let the girls decide what they wanted to do. Then she told us she wanted us to go hunting and get nourishment into us so we could think straight, then get some rest, then we were to call her back and she may have information by then from Dad and how it was going there. We hung up and headed straight out to hunt as told.

We were jogging casually back from the hunt and decided to make a quick trip out to the address that was on the High School records for Chris Jetters. When we got there it was as we expected, an old abandoned house. We really didn't expect him to make it that easy on us. Heading home again, we gave in that we were exhausted as well and would pick up the search when we had slept and regained our energy.

I kicked my shoes off on the way to my room and literally fell across the bed. I don't think I was asleep long before I began to dream. It was so real, so frightening, I was searching with all that I had, trying to find Bella and she was no where to be found. I sat straight up and was sweating profusely. I was breathing so hard, it had me going that's for sure. I pulled the covers back and crawled into bed, trying again to get some rest. After several hours of fitful sleep and waking up 3 more times, I gave up and got up. Deciding that a shower would help calm my nerves, I stood in the hot steam and just let the heat relax my muscles.

I was at my desk doing some research on the computer when I heard Jasper get up. He fumbled around for a minute and apparently had the same idea I had about a shower feeling good. By the time Emmet showed his face, Jas and I were both sitting at my desk with a page or two of notes in front of us on ideas to begin the search for Lucien. We had checked the electric companies records for all hookups at the time Chris supposedly came to Forks, then matched those corresponding with water records for the same time. That gave us 17 different houses that were connected at the time he arrived. It wasn't much right now but it was a start. We couldn't just sit back on our laurels and let him regroup and go back after the girls. We had him on the run right now and we needed to keep him that way. Well running or caught, we weren't picky as to which.