Chapter Four - One Last Touch & Then You'll Go

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Ralph stared up at the sky. There were so many stars shining above the island. It was something he had loved on the first night, seeing more stars than he had never seen in his life. But so many days...weeks...maybe even months...had passed. He would do anything to look up at the sky and only see a few stars.

That would mean he was home.

He slowly pushed himself up; he knew he couldn't stay in such an obvious place. Ralph was still lying on the beach and the shelters were still visible from where he was. His body ached and his stomach grumbled, but he stood as the waves crashed against the shore and he stumbled into the forest.

That's when the familiar thoughts that he should just give up and join Jack's tribe crept into his mind. He ran his fingers through his hair and longed for the days when it had been short and not so troublesome.

"Messing with it's not going to help. It's just going to make it look worse."

Ralph jumped, turning around to be greeted by Jack's wide smile. He tried to remain composed as he searched the surrounding areas for any sign of other hunters, for any sign of movement. Jack's smile only brightened.

"I'm alone, Ralph."

If he had thought telling Ralph that he was alone would reassure him, it didn't. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see Jack alone. Only the day before, he would have considered himself lucky to run into the chief without any of his fellow savages. But with his questions concerning Jack's intentions, he didn't know exactly how he felt.

Ralph didn't answer. He breathed slowly, hoping his heartbeat would start to slow.

"Are you planning on talking to me?" Jack stepped closer. Ralph could tell that he wasn't holding his spear, but he didn't doubt that it was somewhere close by. The moonlight poured in on Jack's face. He had forgotten what he repeatedly told himself, to walk in the shadows so that he couldn't be found. But he had forgotten, again, and had been caught for the second time. There was something about the way the light shone on Jack that made Ralph think, before he could suppress the thought, that there was something...attractive...about Jack Merridew.

It didn't help to slow his heartbeat.

Ralph's mind started racing again. He knew he had been on the island too long if he was starting to think that a boy was good-looking.

"I have something for you, Ralph, and you're not going to get it if you don't talk to me." Jack lowered himself down and leaned his back against a tree. Ralph did the same, several feet away from the other.

"What do you have?" Ralph asked. He wondered if it was something he would even want. He couldn't think of anything on the island that Jack would have...or would give up...that Ralph couldn't find somewhere else.

Jack smiled. It flashed again in Ralph's mind. The days on the island when Jack had smiled at him so often. That long time ago when they had...liked...each other. Before he hated Jack.

Right?

"Here."

Ralph reacted just in time to catch the chunk of meat. He stared at it as the warmth spread through his hands. His stomach immediately begged for it, and he looked back at the red head.

"Eat it, Ralph. I promise, it's not poisoned. There's no place to get arsenic anywhere around here. And besides, I don't want you dead."

Ralph ignored the last sentence as he shoved the food into his mouth. It tasted so good, he didn't know how he had managed this long on only fruit and water. Jack watched him as he ate, something that Ralph seemed to not notice. He was too hungry to care about anything except food. It was only after he noticed that Jack was intently watching him, not even blinking and wearing the smile that always sent shivers up his spine, that Ralph slowed his pace.

"Why?" Ralph asked.

Jack didn't even move. "Why what?"

"Why did you bring me food?"

Jack didn't answer. He smirked, the edge of his mouth tilting upwards, but he didn't speak.

"We're enemies, Jack. Don't you know that? You deserted my tribe, formed your own, stole Piggy's specs, took the survival knife, killed my only two friends, and left me out here to spend my life running away from you and your group of savages. You found me, now you're supposed to kill me. You're not supposed to be giving me food."

"I'm not even supposed to be here, Ralph. None of my tribe knows I left. It's night time, they're all sleeping. You can add that to your list of everything I've done since we've gotten here."

"But that's what I'm asking you. What are you doing here?" Jack was beginning to frustrate him. Why couldn't he ever just answer him? He didn't have the energy to try to figure out his inclinations.

Jack looked around. There were endless trees blending into the darkness, creepers that covered most of the forest except where they were sitting. There was moonlight breaking through the canopy of leaves and caressing spots of the ground with it's glow. Ralph took the moment of silence to eat more, in which Jack went back to watching him.

He knew why he was here. He was here for the boy sitting in front of him. Jack was risking complete rejection, both from his tribe that would probably kill him if they knew he was sneaking off during the night to meet Ralph and from Ralph himself, who obviously didn't feel the way that Jack felt about him. He had a good reason for being there, but the reason he had wasn't one he was going to tell Ralph.

How was he supposed to say that he loved him? Wanted him? Wanted to touch him? Kiss him? Wanted his tribe to reject him so that he could spend his days with Ralph, the way they had in the beginning, before he had been consumed by the desire for power and blood and to impress that led him to ultimately surpass Ralph's rule and turn completely mad?

By this time Ralph was done eating and was staring back at the red haired boy. He faltered immediately under his intense gaze, but he was frustrated and forced himself to look back at Jack.

"Do you hate me, Ralph?"

That was not what he had expected.

"What?"

"You heard what I said. You told me that we were enemies. Is that how you think of me? As an enemy? Do you hate me?" Jack asked. Ralph's only returning thought was that the other was completely insane, which was nothing new.

"What type of question is that?"

"It's a simple question, Ralph," Jack said. "Yes or no. Do you hate me?"

Ralph continued to stare at the Chief. What was he supposed to say? Yes? Get himself killed? Was he supposed to say that he didn't hate Jack? That he didn't hate him for killing Simon or Piggy or turning all their friends against him? But Ralph knew the answer without thinking; he knew he didn't hate Jack. Somehow, for some reason beyond his own comprehension, he didn't hate him.

"What if I said I did? That I hated you. Would you kill me?" Ralph asked.

Jack looked away from the fair haired boy for a moment to briefly stare at the ground before regaining eye contact.

"No, you'd kill me."

"Just answer the question, Ralph."

Ralph thought for a moment. He didn't see why Jack would care if he said he didn't hate him. He didn't think that would make the eventual torture any more merciful. Ralph couldn't remember the last time he thought that Jack had a nice bone in his body. But he had brought him meat, hadn't he? Didn't that mean something?

"No."

Jack's eyes widened.

"What?"

Ralph looked down, then up again. "No, Jack, I don't hate you."

Jack couldn't even comprehend what Ralph had just said. He'd expected the other to say that he hated him, that he didn't even know why he was sitting near him other than that he had brought food. He'd expected getting screamed at, sitting there as he took the blows of Ralph's words, the other not knowing how horribly everything cut through him. He'd expected to listen to more talk about he caused Simon and Piggy's death and how it was his fault that everyone was separated in the first place. "No, Jack, I don't hate you" was not what he expected at all.

"But that doesn't mean I like you very much, either."

And there was the spear getting driven through his heart.

Not that he had expected any different. Not that he really thought Ralph honestly did like him. What was he thinking, to even ask such a question? He'd known what he'd been thinking. In the depths of his heart, he wanted a confession of love and desire. But the idea that Ralph didn't hate him was good enough.

"Why not? Why don't you hate me?"

Ralph leaned his head back. He didn't know what he was still doing talking to Jack. He had finished eating but was still hungry. He picked up a stick and drew shapes in the dirt, his mind starting to drift again.

"I remember...those days...back, when we first got on the island...when we were...friends?...or at least we tolerated each other." Jack watched as Ralph talked, taking in the lazy movements of his arm and his hair falling into his face. Something was stirring inside him, something he was finding so hard to control. "No, we were friends then. I know we were. And I liked you, Jack. I really did. But then...you just became obsessed with blood and you killed and now I'm alone. But I don't have much to do during the day. So I just think...I remember that time. And I can't hate you for what we were then." Ralph stopped and threw the twig over his shoulder.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this, Jack. I don't think you even remember what things used to be like. And if I wasn't so damn lonely now, I wouldn't even be talking to you."

Ralph looked up at Jack. The red haired boy had since turned his head and was looking off between the trees. He wondered if anything he had said had hurt him, had reached him, or if Jack even really cared.

If he knew anything, it was that Jack Merridew was the most frustrating person he had ever met.

"What are you thinking?" Ralph asked.

It was a few moments before Jack turned his head back to look at Ralph. The intensity in his gaze sent shivers down his spine. He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had looked at him that way.

Jack inched forward, almost crawling, towards Ralph. The fair haired boy simply stared, reminded of all the times he had seen the other hunting, the look on his face like one of death but with something else mixed in...something not familiar to him.

Jack stopped only inches away from where Ralph had pressed himself against the tree. He didn't know what Jack was doing and if he should jump up and run away screaming.

"You're beautiful," Jack said.

"What?" Ralph practically screamed. His eyes were fixated on Jack, and he didn't even notice Jack lifting his hand up and running his finger down the side of his face.

"You're beautiful," Jack repeated, like it was completely obvious. "Really. I mean, just look at you. Your eyes, your hair, everything. You're just wonderful to look at. I've always enjoyed looking at you. I can remember first seeing you on the island. You were always better looking than everyone else. And I always liked you."

Ralph felt his jaw drop open. Had Jack gone insane? It was only a couple of minutes ago that he thought the other's exterior was just a ploy to keep control, that he really hadn't gone completely mad in the time they had been on the island. But telling him he was beautiful? It screamed insane.

That's when Ralph felt shivers down his spine as Jack's hand ran back up his check. He hadn't even realized it was there, but was still too shocked to move and push it away. Too shocked that the other was touching him that way, and too shocked that he liked it.

He wondered if it was just his mind that made it look like Jack's face was moving closer and closer, until he could see where the paint had chipped on his face and see his reflection in Jack's eyes.

"What.." Ralph started weakly, but his sentence trailed off as Jack's mouth found his.

Jack knew he couldn't prevent it any longer. He was so close; Ralph's face was inches from his own. Something was spreading through his body, something that made him feel like he was going to shake uncontrollably if he tried to remain still. He leaned forward and caught Ralph's mouth with his own. Maybe everything around him, maybe the island, maybe the insanity, maybe all the other boys didn't exist, but this did. He could feel it, feel Ralph's mouth underneath his, as unresponsive as it was. But it didn't matter; this was something he'd wanted and needed for so long. He felt the fire spreading through his veins as his hand moved to the back of Ralph's neck. And even though inside of him he wished that it could have gone on forever, he pulled away and looked at Ralph. The fair haired boy's jaw dropped open and Jack smiled. He ran his fingertips over Ralph's cheek one last time before standing up and disappearing through the creepers.

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A.N.: I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter! School and life have been completely insane lately. Amazing, you know, but still kinda insane. I hope you enjoyed it though. They officially kissed! And trust me, there's plenty more of that to come...

Anyway, I'm soory I was too tired to do this last chapter - many thanks and a thousand hugs to Jammeke, LoopyTheFoxz, MsMeow, Tobi-Uchiha, XbuttonsX, and horsegirl08 for alerting. Even more thanks and more hugs (if that's possible) to SupremeWonderFishTaco, XbuttonsX, Jammeke, Crock-fever, and Tobi-Uchiha for your reviews and continued support. Really, I know I've said this at the end of every chapter, but I can't tell you how much any support/review/favorite/alert means to me. Really, it's mind blowing. I can't even explain it.

Please review! Love and hugs if you do (obviously)!