&Well, being the great person that I am, I asked myself to appear in the first chapter of my story. Introducing our guest star, me, The Author! My characters love me so much, they call me 'sama', on threat of getting their fingers cut off! Isn't that wonderful?!

By the way,

This is when The Author talks.

This is when they make or hear a loud noise.

This is when the characters think.

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Before I forget...

Disclaimer: I'm saving up my pennies, but I don't own it yet.

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'Ow, why does my head hurt so much? I feel like I just got pounded on the head by Tsunade.' Confused, Sakura opened her eyes, hoping to get a glimpse of where she was. Immediately, she wished that she hadn't. The sun shining through the window intensified her headache about x10.

Squeezing her eyelids together, Sakura wondered where she was. This couldn't be her room. Everything of hers had a strange, fruity scent in her house. This place smelled... exotic. Spicy. Sakura was about to doze off aging, and would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling bodily functions. After The Author smacking her in the head for bringing Scooby-Doo into the story, Sakura went into the bathroom, hoping that this morning couldn't get any worse.

Once she flushed the toilet, Sakura went to the sink. Above the sink was a mirror, lavishly decorated. 'Wow, are those diamonds?! This person must be stinkin' ri...'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHHH!!"

As Sakura stopped to take a breath, somebody walked into the bathroom. Somebody she knew. It was Gaara. He was wincing, and he had his fingers stuffed in his ears.

"AACK! Gaara, don't look at me, my hair is a mess. I look terrible!"

"Sakura, you weren't supposed to say that."

Confused, Gaara looked around for the source of The Author 's voice, but found nothing of the wonderful omnipotent being.

"Um, Sakura, did I hear another voice, or is it my ears ringing?"

Embarrassed, Sakura blushed right down to her neckline and- HEY! Who changed the script?! She doesn't seem that embarrassed if she only blushes down to her cleavage! SAKURA! What is the meaning of this?!

"Well, every time we practiced this scene, it got so hot under these clothes when I blush that-"

"You know it's supposed to be to your tippy toes, not your stupid neckline, as you say."

"But Author-sama-"

"No buts! And it's not Author-sama, its The Author-sama."

"The Author-sama?"

"No! You have to emphasize it! Like this: The Author-sama."

"The Author-sama?"

"NO! The other one!"

"The Author-sama?"

"Not that one, baka! Although you can bold the 'sama' for me...Now try it!"

"The Author-sama?"

"YES! That's how I want it! Now everybody must call me 'The Author-sama'!"

"Well, The Author-sama, we have to get back to the story! You just wasted about a half a page on that stupid argument, and now-"

"Ahem."

Sakura turned to look at Gaara. For the second time that day, she wished she hadn't. He looked really annoyed. A bit like a person who has had a large fly buzzing around their head for 5 hours and can't do a single thing about it, but is ready to murder their own brothers and sisters if it would stop that stupid author from talking. That sort of annoyed.

"Good, now we're on tra- wait, who are you calling stupid? I should fire you right now, Sakura! I should...what are you doing with that duct tape? Don't Sakura. Don't! NOOOOO-Mmmpphh."

"Sorry about this, Gaara. My author has A.D.D."

"What does that have to do with it?"

"She got a little bored writing this chapter so," Sakura laughed nervously,"here we are!"

"Just end it, for goodness sake. We can't make this better right now."

"What do we do now?"

"Wait for the next chapter, and hope that this time, the autho-"

"Mmmpphh!"

"Fine then, The Author-sama stays on focus."

"All right."

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The Author is...busy...right now, so Gaara will be taking over today's end-of-chapter notes.

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Review. I need one review, or I'm killing The Author. you don't want that to happen, do you? Then, she would never finish any of her stories. Don't you want to know what happens?

1 review is all Shukaku needs to satisfy him.

Don't let The Author die.

Ja ne.