Waiting For What?

Alice. Why did you do this to me? You knew that I needed you to stay here with me, out of all the people, yet you chose to walk away at the most important time of my life?

I should be angry at you. I should be anything but hoping that you would be back. You had no idea how much I missed you.

The moment that I saw that letter. The moment that you chose not to say goodbye to me, I felt half of myself died.

Alice. You knew that my life was in danger. You knew that I was just a weak human. Why didn't you stay and help me be strong?

I couldn't be strong now that you weren't here. I couldn't be strong now because Edward had distanced himself from me.

Alice. Everyone was distancing themselves from me, like I was a plague.

Was I just a mere entertainment to you? Was I just a mere amusement to all of you vampires?

Alice. Please come back. I needed you here with me, by my side. I needed you Alice. Just please…come back.

What the hell was I doing? She wouldn't come back, even if she could possibly foresee the letter that I was writing for her at the moment. So after writing those last two words, I looked down at the letter and sighed. This was getting ridiculous. The house were beginning to be filled with vampires. Most of them didn't even share the same lifestyle that the Cullens had. The word 'scared' was the correct word for me at the moment. Whenever I walked down stairs, I would be met with blood red eyes that looked so dangerous. I know that they wanted to help the Cullens, yet I also know that they wanted to have me for a meal. The other vegetarians all had jet black eyes. They hadn't even gone out for a hunt, because the psychic wasn't here. It was dangerous for a human like me, and I couldn't believe that Edward had let this go on for this long.

Carlisle was the only one that could restrain himself from distancing himself away from me. He was a doctor after all, and I know he wanted to check up on me once in a while. Esme would only stay in the same room as me, for as long as she could handle the bloodlust. As for Edward. Oh, he did try, he did try his hardest but failed after a few seconds. I had told him to go and hunt countless times, but he just refused because he didn't know when the Volturi would come. I would rather die underneath his teeth rather than the Volturi. I would be the only human there, and I didn't want to create a war of bloodlust between vampires. That would be very dangerous for me, and Renesmee as well even though she had grown up so much.

"Mamma?" I heard Renesmee's voice and I quickly turned to the sound. Jacob was cradling her in his arms, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight. If I couldn't give him the happiness that he deserved, then I was glad that my daughter could, even though it would be very wrong if he would start to call me 'Mother-In-Law'.

"Renesmee." I spoke softly as I walked over to her, with my arms outstretched. Jacob looked up from Renesmee, and I grinned at him. It was time for him to give my baby back, he had her for quite a while now.

Renesmee instantly reached her tiny hands forward, and soon I pulled her into my arms. She nuzzled up against my neck, and I sighed softly. Renesmee was the key to my sanity at the moment. She was one to keep my intact. I didn't know what would happen if Renesmee was to disappear from out of sight, and leaving me here with the thirsty vampires that were tempted to kill me.

"Have you seen Daddy, Mamma?" She asked and looked up at me with innocent eyes. I wanted to say yes, but I know that I couldn't lie to my very own daughter. I settled with a sigh, and shook my head.

"No, dear. I haven't." I answered truthfully, and she seemed to sigh. I heard a low growl, so I turned to look over at Jacob and raised an eyebrow at him. He quickly looked away from me, and I just sighed once more. He was disapproving of the way my husband was acting at the moment. I was beginning to think why he wouldn't just change me. I could help him so much, yet he was suffering while I was frustrated of his decision.

Renesmee seemed unfazed by the answer, so she just moved on with the next one. "Have you seen Aunt Alice, Mamma?" She asked, and I paused my breathing. It was only the whole five seconds before I started breathing again, and I know that she knew there was something wrong.

"No, love. I haven't seen her around lately." I spoke, trying my best to hide my emotions but it was to no avail. Then I felt Renesmee's tiny hands on my face, and not long enough I was being pulled back into the scene that I knew so well.

I saw the scene of me giving birth to her replaying in my head. I saw the pain that I was in as Edward and Jacob were fussing over me. Surprisingly, for all of us, I survived the birth and Renesmee was the first to reach over to me. She showed me the time of my hardship, and she showed me the time that we enjoyed our day with one another out at the back yard. Then the scenes faded as she pulled her hands away from me. I blinked several times to get back to reality, and when I did and looked down at her with a loving smile.

"I love you too, sweetheart." I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, in which she giggled in the process. I smiled at that, and pulled back before looking over at Jacob. He was grinning from ear to ear, even though his eyes begged to differ. I saw the desperation in there, and I know that he was desperate to hold Renesmee again. I held in my laughter as I offered Renesmee towards him. His face brightened before taking her in his big arms.

"Go play." I said with a chuckle, and he grinned widely. Renesmee giggled and snuggled up into Jacob's side.

"Okay." Jacob answered in a childish tone, and was out of the room in a second.

Those were the time that I longed the most, because it distracted me from the sudden departure of Alice. I should be wondering about Jasper as well, but right now I just wanted to be selfish and wondered about Alice. Why couldn't she see that I needed her as much as I needed the whole family to be supporting this? Wait, I think there was something else as well, but I wasn't sure of what it was. Perhaps I needed Edward to spend time with me, and stop trying to make himself suffer.

I turned and walked over to the oversized plush bed, and fell down on top of the covered. I let out a sigh, a rather heavy sigh at that, and fluttered my eyes shut. Images of the time that I had spent with Alice rushed back into my mind, and I didn't know why I was thinking about her. Those images faded though, and they were replaced by the images of Edward. This time, however, they were the images that I didn't want to see. The pain that he had inflicted on me emotionally. The pain that he had inflicted on himself. The way he was so selfish about things that would be of a concern to my soul. I didn't even care if my soul would be damned, because I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to be with this family forever, and ever. I couldn't even think of leaving them behind.

I opened my eyes and was greeted with reality once more. Alice was gone for three days now. The Volturi was still coming, and we just didn't know when. There were hungry vampires down stairs, lusting for my blood and Emmett was doing his best as a brother to protect me. I was still a weak human, a weak and clumsy human. There was one person that I needed to be with me at the moment, and that person wasn't Edward or Esme or Carlisle. That person had left, and I didn't when she was going to return. Alice, I didn't know what exactly I was waiting for. You'd probably not going to return, so why was I having my hope up so high?

A/N:

Thank you for reading and reviewing guys. I started to wonder what would happen if Bella was still human after the birth of Renesmee the other night. So I'm just going to let my imagination answer it for me haha.