Out of Place

How much time was I supposed to stay in this room, and pretend that everything was fine? I couldn't cope with the fact that even Edward had distanced himself for me, completely. I hadn't seen him for days, and it had been nearly a week. Tanya would sometimes visit me up in his room, just to keep me company and informed me of what he was doing. The problem was, I zoned her out as soon as she got the chance to talk about Edward. He wasn't the one that I was caring about at the moment, and I know that I was being guilty but what else could I do? My best friend had up and left me with a bunch of hungry vampires. My husband didn't even try to see if I was alright. Carlisle was becoming less in control because of his thirst. Everyone had black eyes apart from Renesmee and Jacob. I was the perfect meal for these vampires. The chance of me being turned was next to zero, not when I know that Edward wouldn't be able to control himself.

"Bella?" A familiar voice called from outside of the room, and I raised my eyebrow at that. I know that tone, and I hadn't heard that voice in so many days now. The devil that I was thinking about had let himself known. I just wondered how long he would be here for. Possibly less than a second.

"I'm still in here, Edward." I called out softly, even though I know that he could hear me even if I was whispering underneath my breath. There was one thing that I've learned from this, and it was when vampires were very hungry, their vampires' abilities enhanced. Great, if I wanted to get out of this place I wouldn't be able to outrun them.

The door creaked open, and I felt a breeze whooshing in. And standing before me was none other than my husband. The one that had been distancing away from me because of his thirst. He should really think about the future, and not the now. Because right now, my life was in jeopardy. I turned to look up at him, and of course I wasn't really expecting his eyes to be gold. His pitch black eyes were staring down at me with such intensity that only made me want to crawl underneath a rock, and stay there. I wanted to be somewhere else. Somewhere with Alice…I didn't think she knew how much I truly missed her at the moment. There was this strong urge that kept pulling me towards the woods. It was as if I would be able to find everything that I was looking for.

"How are you?" Edward asked, his tone was strained, no doubt from between killing me and keeping me alive. This was just too dangerous, and I know that he loved me. Oh hold up! I didn't even think that he really did truly love me. If he loved me, then he should change me so that I could protect everyone. I didn't want to be a burden anymore.

"I'm good. You haven't hunted." I said. It wasn't a question, and he couldn't really fool me. I wasn't that easily fooled, not after Renesmee was born. He hung his head in shame, and I crawled back up against the bed. I was afraid that if I was being too close to him, he might lose control. I saw his features shook, and I know that he was starting to lose control.

I willed myself to stay calm, and my heart to beat in a steady rhythm so that I wouldn't be tempting him further on. "Perhaps, you should go hunt." I said matter-of-factly. He knew that I was right, that he should go hunt. But being him….

"No. I need to be here." He responded and I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. Right now, he needed to hunt. That was what he need, to be full so that he could fully protect me if that was what he wished. His need was something that would put this whole situation into the most dangerous situation alive at the moment. If my blood was to make itself presence – in the air – then the whole house would turn into chaos. I hope that he should take this hint – the hint of me moving further away from him – to know that he should leave.

"Edward…" I breathed his name out, because I know that he could still hear me. He made an attempt to move forward, but stopped himself just when something below crashed. I didn't know what was happening down stairs, but this was what I did know. Edward had blurred out of the room in just a matter of a second, and I was left in the room once again. I released a relief sigh, and rested my head back against the headboard. I felt mentally exhausted, and I didn't even know whether I should just go to sleep or stay wide awake. I hadn't been able to sleep ever since Alice's departure. This was worse than Edward's departure, because this time I couldn't even sleep. Whenever I would close my eyes, I would hear something clicking against the windows, and my eyes would snap open at the sound. I hoped that Alice would come back, whether it would be through my windows or through the main door. Insanity was taking over, I was sure of it.

"Bella, dear?" I heard Esme's voice from behind the door just as I was giving up on trying to stay awake. I turned at the sound of the door being opened, and there she stood. She was worse than Edward, but she still held that motherly aura around her. I know that she could handle herself, but it was ridiculous that none of them would even go off and hunt. I would be fine, well as long as Jacob was here.

"Hello Esme, how are you doing?" I asked softly. She only stepped inside the room, with the door closed. In a blur of an eye, she was standing next to the window, with her head outside. I grimaced inwardly at the sight before me. Because of me, they all had to suffer. I didn't know what it would feel like to be that thirsty, to feel the burn that they were feeling, but it pained me to see them like this. It pained me to see Esme like this, to see that my mother-in-law was suffering because of me.

"I am doing fine, Bella. How are you, love?" She asked me in that motherly tone of her, and I only nodded. I had noticed that when I talked before, her hand was gripping on the edge of the window. I didn't want to make this the more difficult for her.

"I'm good, thank you Esme. How…" I paused then, because I know exactly how she was just by her action and expression right now. I sighed silently, even though I know that she could heard it. I shook my head lightly and looked at her with pleading eyes, yet I know they held pain in them as well. "Please, Esme. Take the family and go for a hunt. I will be fine here, with Jacob and Renesmee."

Esme's eyes widened a little, and I could see the comprehension within her pitch black eyes. But then they hardened, as if her will to stay here would never going to break no matter what I would say to her. As she was opening her mouth to spoke, I quickly speak up because I wanted her to know that I would be fine, and I wanted her to know how I feel about this. "Please Esme, I don't want to see you and the family suffers. It pains me to see you all like this. Go hunt, and rest. I will be fine." I assured her one more time, and her face masked with indecision.

I waited for her to make the right decision for her, and soon enough I heard a growl coming from outside of the room. I sighed. Edward. I thought as my eyes glanced over to the door. I couldn't believe that he would control his mother like this, even though Esme wasn't his biological mother. She was still his mother nonetheless, and now she was my mother and I was glad to have a second mother like her. I felt more like I belonged in this family, as long as Esme and Carlisle would be besides me. It was strange, really, for me to feel like this towards my second parents. I guess they made me feel like I actually had a family, here, by my side. Well, it was a shame that they had such a controllable son; Edward.

Esme turned her blackened eyes towards the door. Her eyes were pained, and I wasn't sure what Edward and her were talking about because I saw her lips moved. It was as if her lips were quivering, but I couldn't hear a word that had left her mouth. Then she turned to me, and offered me an apologetic smile. For the first time ever since I've met her, I frowned and scowled at her. She was taken by surprise by my act, and I guess I should just blame this whole unnerving situation that we were in.

"Esme, please don't let Edward control you. You are your own person, and I know that the whole family is suffering right now. Even the vampires that aren't using your diet. You all should go for a hunt, I will be fine." I spoke in reassurance, and I saw her tensed up. I frowned once more, and turned to the door when I heard that same familiar growl intensified.

"Edward, may I have a word with you please?" I asked politely, even though I was very close into shouting at him. Seconds later he appeared in the room, next to Esme. She was looking out of the window, no doubt that she was breathing into the fresh air. I couldn't believe that Edward was the second reason to why none of the vampires in this house had gone for a hunt.

"Yes, Bella?" He spoke and his tone was hard. Didn't he know that he was in trouble right now?

"Take them hunting." I spoke in a commanding tone, and all he did was hardened his eyes on me. I was his wife, and I deserved to feel that the family wasn't suffering because of me. He was supposed to be my husband, not someone that would let people suffer because of his own wife. The wife that was beginning to think that she wasn't even his wife anymore, nor did she wanted to be.

"I can't. Your safety is more important." He replied with such hardness in his tone that got me to shoot up from my current position on the bed. I moved around the bed, and a few seconds later I was standing in front of him. So close that I could see his throat moving as he swallowed…perhaps his venom, down his throat. Good, because this was as far as my punishment for him would go.

"If you want to suffer, then so be it. I will not allow you to let the whole family, and the other vampires to suffer because of you." I spoke, my voice seemed to be hardening as well. His jaws clenched, so tightly that I was afraid that he might break his face. He let out a loud scoff, and blurred out of my sight as if he wasn't even there in the first place. I turned to Esme, and she was still having her head out of the window, but only a little further. I realized what I was doing to her, so I quickly went back to my previous position.

"Bella…" She began and I shook my head. She stopped there, and I smiled at her.

"Just go hunt. Jacob will be around here, don't worry. The pack will protect me and Renesmee while you and the other vampires go for a hunt. You need something in you."

She smiled at me, and nodded. "We will be back as soon as possible." I just nodded at her, and with that she blurred out of my sight. In an instance, I heard voices from downstairs, and movements. Then all was quiet, except for the movement from Jacob. I could make out his movement from anywhere.

Now I was alone, with werewolves to protect me and my hybrid daughter. This was going to be exhausting. If it wasn't exhausting for me, then it would be exhausting for everyone else. They were forced to protect a human, and a hybrid. I felt as if God sent me down here to punish me, and this was the punishment that I deserved. Firstly, I had driven Edward away from me at the first day of school. Secondly, I had driven the whole family away from me after my 18th birthday. Thirdly, I had driven Alice away – along with Jasper – from the inevitable death that the vampires that were accommodating the Cullens' home were about to share. I guess that was good, in a way, because Alice and Jasper would still be alive…while everyone else would be turned to dust. As for me? I'd be their meal.

A/N:

Boo Edward! Booo! Sorry for all these depressing chapters. Especially this one. My aunt and cousin went back to their home today, and everything in my house is empty and quiet. I miss them. So I'm just using this chapter to pour all of that emotions in.

Thank you for reading and reviewing though. =]