Why?

When I woke up…I couldn't remember much from what had happened before I had fainted. I was expecting to be lying on the floor, but to my surprise, I was lying on a bed that I was totally unfamiliar with. There was one thing that had caught my senses though, and it was Alice's scent rather than Edward's scent. I thought that was strange, but that would totally explain the bed. I sat up slowly, and immediately was hit by a sudden wave of headache. I groaned quietly at the pain that was convulsing through my head, and let my body lower itself down until my head hit the pillow. Even though the action was soft and gentle, it didn't stop the pain that was coursing throughout my body. I guess this was what I get from not being able to sleep.

"I'm sorry." A soft voice rang out and traveled towards my ears. I winced at the voice, not because it was loud, it was because it made the headache worse. Any noises right now would make it ten times worse, and I didn't even want to move my head to look over to where the voice was. I already know whom the voice belonged to, but I just wanted to turn and look at her, to confirm that she had actually returned, and everything about her departure was just a horrible nightmare.

"Why?" My voice came out as a crack, and I realized that my throat was so dry that it was preventing my ability to talk. I cleared my throat, only to have making it worse. I felt a soft, cold hand gently slipped under my neck, and supporting it up. The next second I felt cold glass against my lips, and the cool water hit my dry lips. My brain instantly reacted to it, and I was soon gulping the water down like I hadn't been drinking for months. The glass was half emptied when I decided that I had enough. The glass was taken away from me, but the headache wasn't but at least it had somehow decreased.

"Why?" I repeated the question again, when I felt the hand cradling my neck stiffened. The hand relaxed, and I slowly turned my head over to meet her face. I winced at every move though, because with each move came a new shock of headache.

"Because I wanted to find someone to help us." Alice replied softly, and her voice was quiet much to my liking. I know that if I didn't have this headache, I wouldn't be able to hear her.

"But…" I stopped myself from saying that after she left, Edward had made it very hard on every single vampire in the household. I sighed and shook my head, my husband was too stubborn for his own good, and he had to bring everybody down with him. "I've never thought that my best friend would leave me, again, without much of a goodbye face to face."

I dared to look into her golden eyes then, and I saw the pain within them. I know that I shouldn't be feeling rather smug about this, but it was a good thing that she realized what she had done to me. Her leaving me the first time was bad enough, and I didn't have anyone to talk to, to come running to, to have a shoulder to cry on. I know that I did have Angela, but the only person that I wanted at that time – the time that Edward had left me – was Alice. And this time, I needed her more than I'd need Edward himself. She had to know this; she was a psychic, right?

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness, but do know that I am here now, and I will not leave you…"

"Don't say 'I promise' if you're going to break it, again." I cut her off when she was about to say what I know she was. Her mouth clamped shut, and she looked even more pain than before. Despite my head pounding, I pushed myself off of the bed, and attempted to stand. Well, that was a bad idea; because the moment that my feet touched the ground, it was then the dizziness went back into my own eyes with full force. I felt a pair of hands caught me when I was falling backward, and I sighed. I couldn't do anything on my own now, and that absolutely sucked.

"Be careful." She said as she guided me down on the bed, and having me to lay back down on it. Once my back hit the soft mattress, I turned so that my back was facing her. I was hurt by her action, and I was glad that she was back. I didn't know which emotion to stay with, because I didn't want her to think that I would forgive her that easily.

"Bella…" She reached out over to me, and her finger was just an inch away from me but I felt them stopped. I didn't turn to look at her, and I heard her sigh. The bed moved a little, and I know then that she had gotten off the bed. "The others are back, except for Edward and Jasper. If you need me, just call for me." With that, she left, leaving her scent with her.

I felt wet tears streaking down the side of my face, and it was hurting me more than the headache that was pulsing through my head. I had hurt Alice, and most important of all, I hurt her more than any human ever could. I know that I was the only human that the Cullens and the rest of the vampire society ever associated with, but I couldn't believe that I had just hurt Alice like that. I shouldn't take out my frustration on her, and I shouldn't take out my anger towards Edward on her. I wanted to apologize to her, but I just couldn't stand her breaking another promise to me anymore. I thought vampires were good at keeping promises, but I was wrong at that part.

The tears continued to stream down my face, and I squeezed my eyes close so that I didn't have to see the photo frame of Alice and Jasper on the side of the bed. It wasn't because I felt alone that Edward wasn't here to hold me at the moment, but it was because I felt jealous of Jasper. I shouldn't be feeling like this, but now that I thought more about it with my head pounding, I know that Edward had blinded me from the love that I had felt for Alice. Somehow, he made me think that I was in love with him, when I was in love with the beautiful pixie. But in a way, I let Edward twisted that love because Alice had already found her soul mate. I just didn't want to chase an unrequited love, and I didn't want to chase after someone that was happy with her spouse. I wasn't that much of a sadistic person, and I know that wouldn't even work anyway.

I didn't know how long I was muffling my cries for, but I know that the whole house would hear me sobbing. Why couldn't I just have one peaceful moment to myself? Oh right, I chose this life, and I couldn't run away from it. No, I didn't want to run away from it, because I loved my new family so much to even let them go. As for Edward, I didn't know what I would do with him now. He was such a good boyfriend when we were together in high school, and he was a superbly good husband when we were married. However, he became such a horrible husband when he let his controllable side gotten the best of him, and nearly ended up killing me had Alice didn't come back and intervened. In all of my humanity, in all of the time that I knew mythological creatures were real, Edward hadn't saved my life, not even once. He was the reason to my near experience to death. It was Jacob that saved me that first time, and the second time was Alice.

"Bella?"

The soft voice of Esme broke me out of my thought, and I slowly lifted my head up from the pillow to look across the room to where she stood at the door. Her black pitch eyes had returned to their original honey brown, and within them held the pain of a mother that couldn't stand seeing her child hurting or upset. Once she had noticed my red puffy eyes from all the crying, she let out a small gasp and was immediately by my side, gathering my small and frail body in her strong arms and gently rocked me back and forth.

"Shh, everything will be alright."

I wanted to believe her words. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be alright, but there was nothing to make me believe that. We were being hunted by the Volturi. Edward had nearly tried to kill me because he was too thirsty and refused to hunt for my sake, or even for his sake. I didn't want Esme to think that I doubted her words, because she had done so much for me. I simply nodded, letting her know that everything was going to be alright, even if I was just pretending.

"Edward will be back."

My body frozen up at the news. Esme must have felt my body frozen up too, because she stopped her rocking movement and tensed up. This was a touchy subject, but really I didn't want to think about Edward. I didn't even want to think about anything else, let alone Edward. He had done enough damaged. Not that I was thinking that he deserved a punishment. He surely deserved to be re-educated, because he needed to learn to stop controlling people and make them do what he thought was best for him. He had to learn to accept the fact that he could be wrong in certain things, for example; Not letting anyone in the household hunt while having a human around.

I pulled away from Esme, and since she knew that I was trying to pull away she let me. I could never fight off a vampire's strength. "I want to rest up, for a while." I avoided her eyes while speaking these words, because I know that if I would to look into her eyes, she would read all of the emotions running through me. I couldn't risk her knowing that I was already broken, and that even if my daughter was still alive, no one could ever repair me. Perhaps, deep within my soul, I know that Alice could, but I didn't want her to be the one to patch me up and leave me broken once more. I couldn't handle that, not now, not ever. I'd rather die to be broken up again.

"Alright dear, just call one of us if you need anything." Esme said softly, though I could hear the pain in her tone. She masked it so well, that if I wasn't listening so intensely at her tone because of my pounding headache, I would have missed it.

"I will." I responded simply, and even though right now I needed to be one of them, so that they wouldn't have to babysit me all the time. I know the risk of being a newborn and everything, but that shouldn't be a problem if I had the upper strength, and with Emmett here surely we could have overthrown the Volturi. Okay, maybe we really shouldn't risk it, and Jasper wasn't here. Jasper? I didn't even hear Alice mentioning him when I woke up earlier, and I didn't remember seeing him when Alice came back to the rescue.

Esme placed a soft, motherly kiss atop my forehead before standing up and left the room. I was left to ponder about Jasper. Maybe I should just ask for Alice to come back up and tell me why Jasper wasn't here. And as soon as I had made that decision, I changed it abruptly because I didn't want to see her at the moment, even if I really wanted to see her. Wait, did that even make any sense? I sighed and lowered my head down on the pillow. I didn't feel like sleeping right now, not when I had enough of it already. I didn't even feel like thinking, not with this dreadful headache. I guess I should just relax my mind, and make a mental note of asking for some painkillers when I'd decide to get out of bed.

A/N:

Sorry for the major delay. Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy this as much as I made Bella went psycho on Alice. Nah, not really psycho, but you know what I mean, and I dislike it lol.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. =]