DISCLAIMER:I do not own Persona 3 Portable.

A/N:I've finished this chapter a couple of three weeks ago after I wrote two one-shots that my muse has pestered me with. But then I got into a really bad mood that I couldn't bring myself to upload it because I couldn't care less. I was stuck in a rut you see. I've reread all your reviews this Saturday and now I'm glad to have my head back in the game.

Congratulations to Nemo for getting the right reason why FeMC was laughing and crying. I'm actually going to add more and explain all about it but I forgot everything so let's just leave it at that. namine23 gets the second place.

Nemo: I didn't hold a grudge over your first review. I was just upset that the note slipped through you. I was actually waiting for the time when you will drop another review on this story. I'm glad you did. So, thanks for your review and I hope to receive feedback from you again in the future.

Mariagoner: Thank you for taking the time of reviewing every chapter you liked. It means a lot to me. Saying that the chapters are wonderfully written and that they are all in character gave me a lot of motivation. Thanks for your support and I hope to hear from you again in the future.

namine23: I was relieved and kind of happy when you said I did a great lemon cause honestly I thought it would suck. And making you flush is an achievement in itself considering that it's my first full lemon chapter. Thanks for your review!

fierypoptart: I'm glad you loved it. You don't have to review it everyday, but you can just drop a review every chapter and that would be very helpful and appreciated. Thanks!

To Azure, Mimi Minato and FRAGILE-princess thanks for your reviews and support. I'm happy that I did a good job at this lemon.

Your touch is all I had…

All or Nothing

February 19, 2010 / Friday / After School

You stand at the center of the bustling train perfectly contented with Aki's arm around your waist while he held at a hand rail to support the two of you. You had an arm encircled around Akihiko too, your makeshift post, while you had his bag in your hands on the shoulder where yours hung. You had insisted to carry both of your bags since it was obvious that Akihiko's hands were quite occupied. It's not like you mind at all, really. You are actually on a very nice position. You can feel his muscles up freely this way, you even tend to rest your head occasionally on his shoulder, and with the eventual brushing of your face against the fabric on his chest you can smell his manly scent that drives you wild. Don't forget the hand that teasingly creep its fingers under the hem of your blouse secretly. Honestly, you wouldn't mind standing on the train for an hour with him.

But then he just has to bring up the elephant in the room.

"On Monday next week, can you accompany me visit Shinji? You remember Shinjiro right? I promised him I'd bring you sometime to meet him but then something happened that conflicted with our schedule."

Shinji. Shinjiro. Of course you remember him. You know him very well. You'd never forget about him unless Nyx messed up with your memories too. But Shinjiro was a thought that you conjure your mind to never think about, an excruciating feat actually with the fact that your heart isn't suppose to feel about him too. And now your weeks of hard work had gone down the drain just because Akihiko chose to mention him. You try not to stiffen, really, but that's like making yourself not steady yourself when you know that you're going to fall. Hopefully Akihiko doesn't read it as something conspicuous.

"Yeah…sure." You nod, and you feel like you're nodding too overly animated.

"Really? Thanks." Akihiko smiles that awfully handsome smile of his that makes you melt and you can't help but also feel dreadful because you know that he's so eager about it.

Akihiko looks at you and frowns, thinking that you're probably feeling anxious of meeting the big bad scary senpai that is his best friend, which is like equivalent of meeting the family. He doesn't have a clue that he's so dead wrong.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. I'm sure he'll like you." He tries to assure you.

"Okay…" You try really hard not to give him a wry smile.

Shinjiro liking you is the least of your worries, really. Maybe he shouldn't even be close to liking you because that would be a new problem altogether. Shinjiro's reaction on the aforementioned encounter upon knowing that you aren't only acquainted but is also in a relationship with Aki is what really bothers you.

What would he say?

And that question applies to both male involved.

February 20, 2010 / Saturday / After School

Tatsumi Memorial Hospital

She's shown a number of expressions on her face and Shinjiro tried not to laugh on the ones that looked really ridiculous. It's a good thing he realizes that he's skilled in self-control. Minako Arisato had been in his room since ten minutes ago glaring at him (well past him and to the unknown actually due to the faraway look in her eyes), sighing and then closing and opening her mouth obviously unsure to what she's going to say. Well, because Shinjiro's feeling good today he thinks he'd spare them the awkwardness himself.

"You shouldn't have left last time. You should have stayed." It may have sounded as if he's telling her what she's supposed to do but that's only his way of saying that 'Iwantedyoutostay.' But he isn't like that.

"And I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

So she wasn't listening when he said that? Too bad he isn't going to repeat himself. Still it would be nice if she were to respond to him. He just shook his head.

"When you're supposed to talk to someone you shouldn't space out." Shinjiro feels a small smirk grow on his face. It seems to have caught her off guard and her eyes widens. He looks away.

"Actually…I shouldn't even be here. I promised that I'm never going to bother you again but there's something I need to ask you…"

Shinjiro's heart starts to hammer in his chest too loudly for his own liking. If he weren't himself he would probably stutter.

"What?"
"I…this coming Monday, uhm I mean – agh! I don't even know where to start."

Shinjiro knew girls tried to act and appear all cute when they pout but he doesn't think that she's doing it on purpose because Minako Arisato looks naturally cute when pouting. He would like to think that he just didn't thought of that because he doesn't think or do cute. Damn.

"Start on saying what this is all about anyway. Wait…no. Actually start on stop saying that you're not supposed to be here because it's fine with me idiot."

Her face softens, turns into gentle and then she's giving him that look. That look that she's been giving him ever since, the look that is full of longing if he's not mistaken. Longing. She couldn't possibly be longing for him. He has only known her this month and to think how many days have they just spent together. A few that's what.

She takes his callous hand that is near to her and envelopes it with her soft warm pair. They probe into each other's souls.

"First of all I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I never wanted for it to be this way but I don't have a choice. I never had a choice to begin with. If only we weren't…the way normal people…what I mean is I really wanted us to work out and if maybe I'd met you in different circumstances…we could have been…but then you wouldn't even notice me. You wouldn't even talk to me if that was the case. I know I really don't make sense right now but someday you'll understand. I'm sure you will."

He doesn't really get what she's saying, true, but it feels like she's rejecting him and closing him off when he hasn't even started admitting anything within himself. And it's not supposed to hurt or he isn't supposed to feel anything so why does he feel dejected.

"I'm glad that you don't mind me being around you. It means a lot to me. But I can't be with you…I'm with…I can't see you anymore like before as if…I don't want to hurt both of you and he told me he loves me when you haven't even…"

Shinjiro only realizes that the glistening drops adorning her cheeks are tears when she gasps as if she caught her tongue slipping off some secret that she is bound to take to the grave.

"I mean…I…sorry, what was I sayi–"

It's wrong for him to think that she looks so beautiful crying and looking so lost with glassy eyes like a doll, something irks him and rubs him in a different kind of manner and an impulse suddenly rises. He pulls her towards him a little harder than he should have that she almost topples above him on the bed, which leads her half-kneeling on the mattress. He tugs lightly on her hair with his hand on the back of her head and brings his face to lean close to hers and touch their lips. To taste what was given to him in sample like an appetizer the last time she visited. It barely registers to him what he's doing and it is only when he feels the softness of her lips that he realizes that he's kissing her. He doesn't stop though, instead he deepens the kiss and he is relieved and happy that she isn't pushing him away. She responds to him albeit hesitantly; and when she pulls away from him to say that she can't do it, it's wrong (in which she looked half-hearted and confused), he draws her in again to wash away her doubts. He traces her lips with his tongue to make her open her sweet mouth, unfortunately the door slides open and she removes herself off him abruptly. However, she is still half-kneeling on his bed.

And it is in this position where Akihiko finds them.

"Minako? What are you doing?" Akihiko asks frowning.

Shinjiro scowls in return. He wonders what could be more compromising than Minako's stance on his bed that his best friend is looking at something more interesting so he follows Akihiko's gaze and finds it directed on their joined hands suspended in the air. Minako wriggles her hand off his grasp and awkwardly laughs. Wait. Aki knows her?

"Uhm, I was trying to brush away some dirt on Shinjiro-senpai's shoulder but he wouldn't let me so I kind of insisted…"

Shinjiro didn't think the girl had it in her to be such a good liar.

"I see…well, why are you here? I mean…you knew Shinji?" Akihiko's frown unwavering.

Minako sits properly on her accustomed chair before replying.

"I was the class representative for 2-F to greet senpai on his recovery and because he's your best friend I thought I should care about him too…right?"

What did it matter if he is Aki's best friend? Was that the reason why she's been visiting him all along? And what's with Aki having so many questions. He's got questions needed to be answered too, his good mood now turning dour what with Akihiko's sudden interruption.

"You know each other?" He asks roughly, his mood evident in his voice.

The two looked at him simultaneously.

"Yeah…" And answered at the same beat too. It's Minako who chose to explain.

"We're uhm…" She looks at them back and forth. "He's my…"

"I'm her boyfriend." Akihiko interjects sternly and sits beside Minako way too close for something casual that it reminds Shinjiro of guys claiming territory. Aki even puts an arm around her shoulder as if for added effect.

Shinjiro wonders why this feels like the worst punch he has ever received from Aki.

Akihiko slides the door of Shinji's room open and the sight that welcomes him is something that he thinks is an illusion. He spots Minako half-kneeling on the bed with Shinji holding her hand in mid-air. And their expressions is in a way unnerving, Minako's face is similar to that of a child caught red-handed sneaking a cookie out of the jar while Shinjiro looks like a wolf interrupted over his dinner. He doesn't know what to make of this but a familiar feeling bubble up inside of him and he can't shake away the thought that it feels rehearsed, like he has done this all before. And the feelings, once caged are now trying to resurface. He starts talking before he could think.

"Minako? What are you doing?" He glares at Shinji's offending hand. Minako relinquishes her hand to probably alleviate whatever she's sensing on him. She laughs awkwardly before she answers.

"Uhm, I was trying to brush away some dirt on Shinjiro-senpai's shoulder but he wouldn't let me so I kind of insisted…"

He doesn't think that was it but he doesn't pry, the frown never leaving his face.

"I see…well, why are you here? I mean…you knew Shinji?"

Minako sits properly on the chair behind her before replying.

"I was the class representative for 2-F to greet senpai on his recovery and because he's your best friend I thought I should care about him too…right?"

The answer doesn't quite suffice but he lets it go since it is sensible despite the fact that she leaves out the explanation why she hadn't told him about it before. Shinjiro slices the thick air with his question coated in a harsh tone.

"You know each other?"

Akihiko didn't miss the fact that he and Minako looked at Shinji at the same time. He is startled though when they both manage to respond at the same time. Minako beat him to offering further details however. But fails.

"We're uhm…" She looks at him, then to Shinji, and then back at him again. The cycle repeats, dragging. "He's my…"

He saves her, spares her rather.

"I'm her boyfriend." He says a little forcefully.

The next thing he knows he is sitting beside Minako too close even for him and his arm finds it way over her shoulders. It's like a primal impulse, proclaiming that she belongs to him. Minako supports his statement with a 'yes, that's right' and intertwines her fingers with his free hand. She stares at their hands and avoids any kind of eye contact.

"Tch..."

Akihiko returns his gaze to Shinjiro and notes the dismayed and angry expression of his best friend. He wants to ask what Shinji's problem is but thought better of it. He doesn't want Minako to witness one of their infamous quarrels.

"Can you leave me alone now?" Shinjiro asks tersely.

"But I just got here!" Akihiko protests but Minako diffuses whatever may have ensued quickly.

"Maybe we really should go. I think Shinjiro-senpai just doesn't feel well and is asking us to leave because he needs to rest."

"Yeah. I don't feel well. So could you two just go?"

Akihiko begrudgingly complies even though he wants to know what just actually transpired and he really wants to make a point to Shinji about something that he isn't sure what altogether but because Minako is already making her way to leave he lets it pass, at the moment.

"We'll be going now so you can rest, senpai."

"Yeah, well…see you Shinji."

Shinjiro ignores them both by laying himself comfortably on his bed and closing his eyes as if to sleep. Akihiko leads Minako out the door and out of the hospital.

When they reach the train station Minako stops and swivels to face him.

"I shouldn't have kept visiting Shinjiro-senpai a secret from you. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

He can't tell her its okay because it's not. He can't tell her he understands because he doesn't. He doesn't want to be petty but from the guilt plastered on her face he can't absolutely erase the doubt that there is something to be worried about.

"Were you just visiting him?"

Minako nods and Akihiko thinks that it would have been more reassuring if she had spoken a yes. There's a gnawing feeling inside Akihiko that wants to demand more from her but is afraid of what she might say, he has an inkling that it's not the first time he felt it. As if he's had this confrontation before, he hadn't win nor lose that time but he was rather at a disadvantage and Shinji was…Shinji was…he doesn't know.

He thinks that this must have been what jealousy feels like and insecurity and doubt that is so poisonous it kills the heart. He is afraid of her, he realizes. He is afraid to lose her, especially if he's the one to cause it. He fears he might lose or break something he owns because of his clumsy speech and disability to trust. Maybe he'd rather have her lie.

Akihiko clears his throat.

"Just tell me next time, okay?"

Akihiko stares at her and he is startled to see what Minako should have always been like, as if she had turned into the person who she was supposed to be all along. Her eyes held a knowledge and wisdom so ethereal the sensation feels so grand and mystifying as if he's witnessing something he isn't suppose to see. It feels as if the clouds have parted and the sun has emerged out of its slumber to shine on Minako just to make him see her on a different light.

"I wish I could tell you more. I wish I could give you more. But I can't and I shouldn't and I'm sorry. This is it. It's all we have. At least we could make new memories."

And he knows she's talking about a different matter now. He doesn't understand but he thinks that he knows. It's in his grasp, his finger pulling…a weight of metal on his hand…a cold tip on his temple…an eerie moon…a tower so high as if there's no end…and then there was Dea–

But then the warmth of Minako's hands crawl to his cheeks and the darkness vanishes illuminated by her light.

"Aki?"

"I…I'm fine. What happened?"

"You turned pale…"

"O-oh, sorry…should we–I mean…"

"Let me make it up to you. How about a date? At Paulownia Mall, or anywhere you want. You decide."

He notices that at that moment everything is being washed away like the sand in the shore. The need to be with her is what only remains.

"Okay."

Minako falls asleep on the train, her head resting on his shoulder and her arms looped in one of his. He doesn't wake her when the train stops at the station near the mall. He decides he would let her sleep and return straight to the dorm. It would do her well in her condition since she looks always tired lately. They could go on a date another day. After all, they had all the time in the world to spend together.

A/N:I think this is like bursting your bubble but this is just the chapter where I'm feeding Aki's jealousy and building up animosity between him and Shinjiro. I'm also setting the stage for Minako's exit, which is why I'm dropping the signs. I hope you didn't get discouraged with the different perspective but same scene. I just wanted to let you know what both parties felt. I'm not one for PDA's (especially on trains) but I decided to cut Minako some slack. I also have to confess that I had a hard time on thinking about the title of this chapter.

I'm promoting the two one-shots I wrote: YouKeepMakingMeIll(AkixFeMC) and YouMadeMeTrust(ShinjixFeMC). I hope you read them both because they're connected. Most likely the crossover I'm planning would have to wait because this plot has a more concrete outline. Don't forget to leave a review.

(Review this chapter too!)