Disclaimer: I still do not own any part of Hart of Dixie.

Dear Diary,

Why is it that every time I almost fit in with the rest of the Bluebellians, I mess up big time, taking five steps back? So I accused of the minister's wife of cheating, so what? It's not the most bizarre thing in the world. I mean, my mom cheated on my "dad" with Harley Wilkes and that's how I came to be. Celebrities and politicians divorce left and right because of scandals. I don't care what anybody says, my conclusion was reasonable! I mean, the minister had syphilis for goodness sake!

If you can't tell from my exasperation, I came up with the wrong conclusion. Apparently, the minister's wife contracted syphilis from getting a piercing—one point for Bluebell, zero for Zoe Hart. There are no hard feelings, the couple didn't let the accusation get in the way of their relationship, and they even brought me a pie. Heck, I even went to Church the Sunday after the fiasco, thanks to Lavon's insistence.

I think the couple helped me more than I helped them. Not to say that I'm not a good doctor, they helped me in a different way, an emotional way. After my parents failed marriage, I became pretty cynical about love and relationships. My boyfriend and I didn't last either, and we had one of the longest relationships among our friends. It's safe to say, I never believed the happily ever after, love conquers all crap that people spout all the time. Not to say that I'm not a hopeless romantic, I believe in "the one," and would love for someone to sweep me off my feet and pamper me—but I accepted that the chances of that happening are pretty slim. But back to my original point, the minister and his wife definitely reignited the spark of the hopeless romantic in me, that there are couples out there who really can withstand anything. I want that type of relationship, and I won't give up until I get it.

Anyways, to make up for the horrible mistake on my part, as Wade won't let it go, I decided on another approach to worm my way into the Bluebell citizens' hearts. One of which was going back on the market and start dating again. The problem with that was, I didn't know anyone who was single… Well except for Wade, who apparently wasn't single at all! I found out, when I contemplated trying something with him, that he was married! Turned out he was married to his high school sweetheart Tansy. They didn't work out, and they were separated for a while, but legally, they were still husband and wife.

Even that little fact didn't help me clarify my feelings for the obnoxious man! He came by my office early in the morning the other day, and he came in with an older man. Turns out it was his dad whom he kind of hit with his boat. So, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that Wade was an awful human being. But then, I remembered when he helped me with my "ghost" case. He stayed the night at my place on the uncomfortable couch because I was scared. He followed me into the woods because he knew I'd be eaten alive without help. So yeah, the fact that he was married didn't really register in my mind or in my heart for that matter. Regardless, Wade isn't my type. I'm not into the country boys; I'm into the sophisticated, Woody Allen loving professional types—far from Wade, more towards George if you use them as a scale.

Later I found out that Tansy came to get a divorce from Wade so she could marry a psycho… but she and the lunatic ended up breaking up after George got shot in the leg by a crossbow. Before it sounds like someone shot him, George did it to himself. Wade won't let that one go either.

Enough of Wade, I talked to Shelly and asked if she knew any single guys. And she referred me to Judson Lyons. According to her, he is the town's vet. It made perfect sense for me to go on a date with him right? I mean, I am a doctor and he's a vet—we're both medical professionals! I didn't want to seem desperate or anything so I kind of waited for him to ask me out. But who knows if he'd notice me right? So I went up to him and turned on the charm, and it worked! Then again, the date failed miserably… mostly because I stood him up at Fancies where we were supposed to eat. I saw him through the restaurant window and I just freaked out and left! Believe me, the town heard about that alright. Lavon even gave me a talk, sort of… now that I think about it, not really. But, I decided to give it another shot, and the second time around, it wasn't as bad… maybe because I actually showed up.

After a while I started thinking Judson could be the real deal. He was sweet, we had a lot in common, we were both doctors—me of humans and him of animals, and everything was going great! I should've known better than to think it could last very long. Nothing in Bluebell works out right for me; maybe that's why I was so eager to have Gigi to come down from New York, to make me sane again. Let's put it this way Diary, I should stop having crazy ideas and planning things.

It was Homecoming week. I didn't see what was so special about it; we didn't do anything like that in the City, not even when I was in high school. But for a small town like Bluebell, it was a big deal. The whole town was hustling and bustling to figure things out and set up for the grand event. Lavon had his hands full and wouldn't be able to throw his annual Homecoming party, as part of his mayoral duties. Guess what happened next? I offered to help and throw it for him! Bad idea. Then when I talked to Gigi and told her about it, she offered to come to Bluebell and help me throw the party, you know, because she's a professional party planner. I happily agreed Worse idea.

Lavon gave me a grocery list and strict instructions on what he expected, what the town expected. The first thing Gigi did when she came to town was shred that list. Oops. I know I should've stopped her, but I really wanted something New York in my life again. I'm going to cut this story short because I know I'm rambling. The party was a disaster; people didn't like the theme or the food. In fact, they hated it so much because it was too fancy, too New York. I guess they felt about the party the same way they feel about me. And the icing on the nightmare cake was that Gigi slept with Judson. So now, I'm back to square one… or maybe, I'm not even on the board anymore. Whatever. I give up.

What's even worse is that after her visit, Gigi made me realize that I don't know where I fit in anymore. I am so confused and lost now. I hope I can find a sign, maybe Harley can send me one, wherever he may be.

-Zoe Hart