Bleeding Love

by dareNALEYtomove

"I don't care what they say I'm in love with you. They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth. I keep bleeding love. You cut me open"….. "I know we're not the couple we used to be but we're gonna get there. I know it."

3. Far Away

Chapter 3 Far Away

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

[CHORUS]
I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go

Nickleback

Nathan sat on the couch in the dark thinking about the conversation he had heard between Lucas and Haley. Suddenly he heard her crying. He grabbed his crutches and made his way up to their room. The door was open and he stood there watching her shoulders shake as she quietly sobbed.

He leaned forward and pulled the covers on his side of the bed back, and climbed in. Once he had himself in a reclining position, he reached to place his hand on his shoulder which alerted her he was there. She gasped as her eyes met his.

"Please Hales, tell me what's wrong" he whispered.

Haley threw the covers back and moved into his side. He pulled her as tightly as he could to him. God it felt good to hold her. He had started to think he'd never have that peace again.

After several minutes Haley couldn't take it anymore. She had to be closer. She desperately needed his strong arms around her tonight. Everything that had happened was suffocating her and Nathan while trying to lift out of his depression had wanted to console her. She had to revel in that this one time. She couldn't stand to do without it anymore. She climbed on top of him and draped her body across his.

He tightened his arms around her even more and leaned his chin down on top of her head, basking in the torrent feelings of the break down of her self propelled walls. As she laid there he could feel her warm center against him. When his body began to betray him he silently cursed. She didn't need this. It wasn't what brought him here. He wanted to hold her and now he was afraid that she would retreat back to her shell.

As Haley felt the harden desire under her she lifted her head and looked into Nathan's eyes. The silent conversation passing between them had their eyes locked. She shifted herself up and pulled his head down to meet hers, claiming his lips in the most earth shattering kiss either could remember in a long time.

Nathan rubbed his hands up and down her bare skin under her tank top, moaning into her mouth as her tongue massaged his. 'God he wanted her' He hadn't been this intimate with his wife in a long time and he was starving for her. As his hand slid to her side to brush against the side of her breast he felt her drawing away. 'Shit he knew he was moving too fast'

"I can't do this Nathan…"

Nathan nodded his understanding, even though he couldn't completely hide his hurt or disappointment.

"No Nathan you don't understand. I'm not on the pill anymore." 'God she wanted him but it was just too soon'

"Why?"

And there it was… she couldn't lie to him or keep it from him anymore. She hadn't told him an all out lie but she hadn't been completely honest with him and told him either. She drew in a shaky breath as she tried to find the words to tell him everything that had happened and everything she was feeling.

"The night of your accident, Lucas called me. He said that Lindsay was on her way over to pick Jamie up so I could get to the hospital…" she stopped as fresh tears made their way down her cheeks. Nathan reached up and brushed them away with his thumbs.

"After Lindsay left with Jamie I realized that I didn't have a coat. I came back upstairs to get one. When I reached the top of the stairs I felt this awful pain rip through my middle…." She stopped as the sobs threatened to consume her. Finally catching her breath she continued. "It hurt so bad Nathan" Continuing to cry she couldn't meet his eyes. She knew she had waited and lived with it for too long.

Nathan listened patiently. Whatever she was trying to tell him he knew wasn't good. He suddenly realized that he was holding his breath while preparing for the worst.

"As I moved again to make it down the stairs the pain came again. It was awful. I gripped my stomach unable to breathe. My foot slipped and I fell down the stairs. Everything went black. The next thing I remember was being in the hospital with Lucas standing over me…." She leaned her forehead down to place it on his chest.

He continued rubbing her back. He thought he knew what she was going to say and he had no desire to hear the words. 'God how could he have been so stupid? He knew something wasn't right that night. He knew her leaving the bar that night after the unveiling of the shoe wasn't normal. She had told him that she had to go relieve the sitter. He thought she was just ready to go home. Bars had never been Haley's favorite place anyway.'

"I lost our baby Nathan. They had to do emergency surgery because I was hemorrhaging.

As Nathan heard that he tightened his arms around her… holding on to her for dear life. 'She could have bled to death. Why hadn't Lucas told him?' "It's ok Haley. It's okay baby"

"Nathan it's not ok. We lost our child. Jamie lost his…" she broke down again as he held her to him. Thoughts were running wild through his head.

"That's why I didn't see you for the first two days. I thought you were trying to stay away from me because you were mad or angry and you were hurt…" he choked out.

She nodded her head against his chest as his strong arms held her tightly to him. She could feel the rapid beating of his heart. Finally she felt him let out a very shaky breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to. I wanted to so bad but every time I tried to talk to you it seemed you didn't want to hear anything I had to say."

Nathan sighed heavily. He knew she was right. He had been so angry. He had pushed her away and he had done it when she needed him most.

"I'm so sorry Haley…" he started.

She placed a finger to his lips. "Don't. You couldn't have changed it"

"I could have let you share it with me. It was our baby. You should have been able to lean on me and I didn't let you."

Haley shook her head and continued to cry while Nathan held her, occasionally sobbing with her.

After what seemed like days he finally had to ask. "What happened tonight?"

Haley shook her head.

"Haley I know something terrible happened tonight. I heard Lucas tell you, you could have been raped. Please I have to know"

…….

The next morning Nathan got up and went to physical therapy. When he was finished he went to the local salon and got his hair cut and shaved the scruffy indifference from his face. As he made his way back to the Range Rover on the crutches a thought occurred to him. After he got in he sat there trying to decide what to do. Suddenly he hit the steering wheel hard with his right hand.

……

"Nathan Scott standing up and looking good" Skills greeted.

"Thanks man. How's it going?"

"You know people expect us to turn this thing around.

"If there's anyone that can do it, it's you and Lucas. Thanks for taking care of Haley last night Skills. I can't tell you how thankful I am that you were there."

"No problem man. You know Haley James Scott holds a special place in my heart."

"Where can I find that Fields kid? I'm going to wrap this fucking crutch around his head."

"Nate, I promise you. I took care of it. Don't go get yourself hurt worse. You're finally up and moving around, you know no wheelchair. Don't jeopardize that man."

Nathan stopped as he thought about what Skills just said. Soon he found himself nodding his agreement"

Lucas came walking up to Nathan and Skills "Hey little brother"

"Don't hey little brother me Lucas. You knew! You fucking knew and you didn't tell me. Haley could have bled to death."

"Nathan…. I"

"No Lucas, fuck that. She could have died man."

"Nathan I wanted to tell you. Haley begged me not to."

Nathan stopped as he heard he brother's words. "Why?"

"She thought you were going through enough and no offense man but the way you've been the last four months I would say she was right"

"Shut up Lucas."

"Would it have mattered Nathan?" Lucas yelled at him. "Could you have gotten past your poor basketball crap enough to care? You were feeling sorry enough for yourself. You didn't have room to worry about Haley and I think you fucking know that"

"Lucas..." Nathan seethed and then glared at his older brother. "Don't push me bitch"

"Push you? Hell it's time somebody pushed you! You've treated her like crap Nathan. You've hurt her beyond belief when she was so broken already and you were so wrapped up in a game that you didn't even notice it."

Nathan's mouth dropped open. 'Lucas was right. He hadn't noticed how broken she was at the time. How could he have missed that?' Holding the crutches with his upper arms he threw up his hands in surrender, telling Lucas he knew he was right.

"I'm sorry Nathan"

"No don't. I should have seen it. I was too blind and stupid to catch it."

"It was your baby too and despite how much you might miss basketball I know you love Jamie"

"I love Haley too Luke."

"I know" Lucas said, wanting this discussion to end. The gym wasn't the place to air it all out anyway.

"About this Fields kid? I want to know everything. Haley told me he harassed her in class and then grabbed her at the Rivercourt last night but that Skills stopped him. Is there more?"

"Not that I am aware of. Skills warned him last night that he better stay away from Haley."

"Lucas, who found Haley after the fall?"

"I did. She hadn't made it to the hospital so I got worried. It had been two hours since I had called her. I called Lindsay and she began to panic, saying Haley should have been there by then. I jumped in the car while you were in surgery and rushed over there. When I got to the door, I knocked but I got no answer but her car was in the drive way running. I grabbed the spare key and unlocked the door. When I walked in she was lying at the bottom of the stairs. There was so much blood…. she was lying in a huge pool of blood Nathan." Lucas stopped as his voice broke. Finally he found strength to continue. "I felt for her pulse and called 911. When they got her there they rushed her to surgery. She didn't wake up until the next day. I thought I had lost her. I thought we had… I thought she was going to die."

As Nathan listened to Lucas he thought he sounded like a lost little boy as he relived that awful night. Nathan swiped at the tears that were winning the war of escape though he fought it as hard as he could. "Thank you Lucas. You saved her man. I still have Haley because you followed through on your gut instinct. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her man. I can live without basketball, I know that now. But I can't live without Haley. I don't even want to try."

Lucas locked his fist into Nathans and pulled his younger brother to him as they both fought their emotions. The one thing that Lucas and Nathan had in common was their indescribable love for Haley. They might not have loved her in the same way but in each of them it ran amazingly deep.

…….

As Haley drove the Range Rover into the garage she parked it and sat there. It had been along time since she had looked forward to coming home to her husband. She loved Nathan but over the last four months things had been hard, really hard. She didn't know what today would bring after her revelation last night. She knew Nathan was hurt but he didn't let that come out as anger toward her. She only prayed that wouldn't happen today either.

Carrie walked up to the window of the Range Rover and tapped on the glass. Haley rolled down the window and smiled. "Hey"

"Tough day?"

"Yeah I can't remember the last one that wasn't" Haley answered.

"Someone's waiting for you inside" Carrie said as she waved and exited the garage. Carrie bit the inside of her bottom lip as she watched Haley make her way up the steps. 'Enjoy it while it lasts girlie' She had decided that she wanted Nathan Scott. She would sleep with him or bust hell wide open. It was just a matter of time.

……

Haley walked in the house. "Jamie? Where'd you go Jimmy Jam?" As she came to the dining room, she stopped in her tracks. There sat Nathan in a shirt and tie looking so good her mouth watered. As she glanced around the table, she saw that Jamie too had dressed up like his Dad. "What's this?"

"The beginning" Nathan said as he stood up and moved her chair out for her to sit down and have dinner with them.

"Of what?" Haley shyly asked.

"Of the way it's going to be from now on"

Haley couldn't take her eyes off of him. Her husband was back. The guy that had lived with her in the house for the last four and a half almost five months didn't seem to be here anymore and for that she couldn't be more grateful. She smiled slightly as tears streamed down her face.

"Hey…" he said as he moved to her and swiped the tears away. "I know we're not the couple we used to be, but we're going to get there. I know it." He pulled Haley into his embrace as he put his hand around the side of her neck. He leaned his head down to place his forehead against hers. Suddenly he felt her fisting his shirt and his mouth was on hers without hesitation.

……

Nathan woke up the next morning with his wife's warm body snuggled into his side. Just the thought had him smiling before even opening his eyes. They might not have sexually reconciled yet, but they had emotionally. Nathan knew that was a step in the right direction. Suddenly he felt Haley stiffen and she sat up quickly.

"What's wrong" he asked thinking she was upset because he was lying next to her.

"Nothing" she said as she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Haley, come on. Something is bothering you."

"I had a bad dream that's all"

Nathan sighed. "About what?"

"Carrie"

"Huh?"

"Carrie, you know Jamie's nanny."

"What about her?" Nathan fought to keep from rolling his eyes. He hadn't totally made up his mind about Carrie but he was almost certain that he didn't or wouldn't ever like her. There was something about her that screamed trouble to Nathan. If she hadn't been taking some of the pressure off of Haley right now, Nathan would run her out of here so fast her head would turn side ways from the breeze it created as she flew out the door.

"She… I mean Jamie had woke up after having a bad dream and when I went to him after he was calling "Momma" he said no I want my other Momma."

Nathan pulled her into his arms, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. "Hales? You are Jamie's only Mom. He knows that. You are the only Mom he will ever have. I intend to see to that. Don't ever worry about that ok?"

"Yeah but…" Haley decided to let it go.

"But what?" Nathan asked.

"In my dream I went to tell you what he said and you were here on our bed making out with Carrie."

Nathan chuckled. "What?"

"Yeah. Maybe I'm just being stupid. I don't know."

"No! Hey? Wait a minute ok? You're not being stupid. But you have to know that will never happen. I don't want her. Hell I'm not even sure yet if I like her being around."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I get a bad feeling about her. I'm not sure why. When I figure it out, I'll let you know ok?"

"Ok" she said as she snuggled into his side and smiled against his chest. "Your hair cut is really sexy. I love it when it's cut like that."

Nathan smiled knowingly. "Sexy huh?"

"Yeah"

"How about you make out with your new sexy husband for a little while? My lips are feeling a little lonely.

"Oh yeah?" Haley asked as she pushed her self up to meet his lips in a passionate kiss. 'God I've missed this" she thought'

As Nathan felt her tongue caressing his lower lip he moaned lightly. 'God I've missed this' he thought.

After several minutes he pulled back slightly and placed his lips on her forehead. "Hales? I want us to have another baby as soon as it's safe for you. I won't let you go through it alone, I promise. I'm back baby and I'm back to stay." As he felt her arms tighten around him he sighed against her forehead. He leaned his head back as his hand went to her chin to tilt her head up so she could look him the eyes. "I love you Haley."

"I love you too" she whispered.

…….

Nathan was in the pool working on his rehab when Jamie came running toward him.

"Woah. You need your water wings fish face" Carrie told him as she helped him get them on.

"Let's see what you got Jimmy Jam" Nathan called to him.

Jamie jumped into the water and came up in Nathan's arms. "Perfect 10 buddy" Nathan said.

"Come on Nanny Carrie" Jamie squealed.

As Carrie took off the cover up, Nathan tensed. 'What does this bitch think she's doing?' She had on yellow polka dot bikini and she smiled at Nathan seductively. She slipped into the water with barely a splash.

"Perfect 10 huh Daddy?"

"Ah listen Jamie why don't you get your towel and run back into the house and get me one. I just realized I didn't grab myself one."

"Ok Daddy. I'll be right back"

When Jamie was out of hearing distance Nathan turned around furiously on Carrie. "What in the fuck are you doing Carrie?"

"What? I'm swimming because the child that I am a Nanny for wanted to swim."

"You need to go put some clothes on. Do you realize how disrespectful that is to Haley?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Get out of this fucking pool and go inside. I don't want you out here dressed like that again. EVER!"

"What's wrong Nathan? Scared you can't resist me?"

"Bitch please! Have you seen my wife?"

Nathan moved to get out of the pool. He grabbed his towel and as Jamie came out of the door Nathan smiled. "Hey buddy. I found it. I guess I grabbed it after all."

"Ok Daddy. Are you going in?"

"Yeah Jamie, I'm kind of tired. I think I've had more than enough for today" he said as he cut his eyes to glare at Carrie"

"Ok I'll go in too. I just wanted to swim with you."

"Maybe tomorrow ok?"

"Ok"